Protected: Revenge or Compassion
August 15, 2007 at 6:53 am Enter your password to view comments.
Protected: Closure (Part II)
August 15, 2007 at 6:52 am Enter your password to view comments.
Protected: Closure
August 15, 2007 at 6:52 am Enter your password to view comments.
Where is everybody?
Lately, I’ve been having a lot of sleepless nights. The random insomnia strikes again. On nights like this I just sit in front of the computer, with mouse clicking randomly in search of something interesting to read. Sometimes I strike gold – like finding this young man’s blog who fell in love with his girlfriend’s best friend; or that of an older man who was shagging another woman whilst his wife was in the hospital having a baby; or that mistress of an old married man who is on the brink of suicide. It’s almost like watching a soap opera. It keeps me up all night reading until my eyes get tired and eventually fall asleep.
There’s really not much to read lately. It seems that everybody’s taking a hiatus. I also miss reading the posts from those folks on my blogroll. Where the heck are you, guys?It’s been awfully quiet around here…
What will it take?
To drown my worries this afternoon, I decided to take a two-hour jog and explore my new neighborhood. As I passed by rows and rows of multi-million dollar homes I imagined myself living in such luxury – a Ferrari and a Bentley on the driveway, maids in uniform, and a chauffeur waiting for command.
For a few seconds I enjoyed the daydream, but was quickly jolted back to reality when I saw that dark pair of eyes staring in nothingness. Despite her age (she must be in her 60’s), her beauty was noticeable even from a distance as she stood in that long, paved driveway as if waiting for someone. Her platinum hair was tightly pulled in a bun and the red lipstick made her pale skin seem whiter, almost ghost-like.
I smiled at her and waved my hand to acknowledge her presence, and she responded with a slow nod as my eyes met the saddest pair of eyes I have ever seen. “Lady, what will it take to make you happy?” I muttered in an inaudible voice. ”Aren’t all these riches enough?” Of course I realized that there are some things money can’t buy – some things as fundamental as health, happiness, and being with the people you love.
I have been found!
Have you ever had an embarrassing moment that makes you want to disappear from the face of the earth? Unfortunately for me I had a lot of those moments, but the most recent one had me literally sick to my stomach. Someone found my blog! – Someone that I know; someone who has been the subject matter of most of my writings.
It was my fault. I have been snooping around his blog and forgot that I was logged on to mine, and I left traces of my visit and he tracked me from there. Gosh! What to do, what to do? Can you just shoot me now?
I almost deleted this, but I have invested so much time and poured a lot of emotions, I cannot bear to lose this blog. Oh, well! What the heck? So now he knows everything – how I grieved when I lost him, how I felt back then and now. The bad thing is he will never mention it, and I will never get to defend myself or have the chance to lie deny. Damn blog! Why did I even start this?
P.S. I have no choice but to password-protect some of my posts hoping that he hasn’t seen them all…[fingers-crossed]
Protected: Excerpts from my diary
July 17, 2007 at 1:09 pm Enter your password to view comments.
Isn’t it ironic?
Why is it so hard to let go of the person who hurt us the most, the one who didn’t return the love we give, the one who didn’t love us as much as we love him/her? And yet, the person who reciprocated our love is so easy to forget when the relationship reaches the end of the road.
Could it be the bruised ego? Or could it be that we just love being in love, and it’s not really about that particular person?
When we come to think of it, as soon as our love is reciprocated, we settle in the relationship, and sooner than later, the fantasy ends. We cannot be riding high in the sky for so long. Gravity pulls us back in, and the days of honeymoon are over. When the desires have been fulfilled, the story ends.
But unrequited love is exactly the opposite. The fantasy continues; the desires are waiting to be satisfied. We let ourselves live in fiction. The story never reaches an ending. It never does when we never let the wound heal. It can go on for as long as we invest our emotions on it.
This song
Not too long ago, I remember listening to this song over and over like a fool. It best describes all the feelings and emotions you go through when you lose someone you love…
What about you? What song helped you through the tough times?
So Not Over You (by Simply Red)
Don’t know why I still slept on my side of the bed
The emptiness when you were gone kept ringing in my head
Told myself I really had to move along now
Stop regretting all the things I left unsaid, yeah yeah.
So I tore up your letters
Took your picture off my wall
I deleted your number, it was too hard not to call
Felt a little better, told myself I’d be fine
Got to live for the good times up ahead, yeah yeah.
[Chorus:]
‘Cause everywhere I go
There’s a love song that reminds me of you
And even though I knew I had to be strong
I was still not over you
‘Cause I still believe and I could see how there’s nothing left of you and me
That time is over
‘Cause I’m so not over you.
All my friends try to tell me better find somebody new
Why waste time being lonely when there’s nothing left to lose?
Anything to get you out of my mind
I’m a fool if I thought I could forget
And I could not forget.
[Chorus]
Now I found a way to keep you there beside me
To where my love won’t be denied
I can only hope to keep you there and guide me
There’s no more need to hide from all this pain inside.
[Chorus]
So not over you
That time is over
‘Cause I’m so not over you.
Listen to your mind, not your heart
I don’t know why people come to me for relationship advice. Maybe because they know I have gone through a lot in this facet of life.
On two separate occasions, a man and a woman came to me asking a question somewhere along this line “I feel guilty cheating on my spouse, but I think I’m in love with this person I’m having an affair with. What should I do?”
If I tell them “go ahead and follow your heart”, I am definitely leading them in the wrong direction. But if I tell them “stop cheating and try to save your marriage”, those are words they are afraid to hear.
It makes me wonder why we need to ask when we already know the answer. Deep in our hearts, we know what is right and what is wrong. Do we ask because we need the reassurance that doing “something wrong” makes it ”right” if it makes us happy? We know that the answer is … “those words we don’t want to hear”.
My Little Corner 
From people who stopped by