I work in a law office. The previous office manager was the head lawyer’s long-term partner before he passed. While she was still at the office, she had started a wedding planning business at a local golf venue with her daughter and used the office phone as the main contact before stepping away to focus completely on the wedding business. Occasionally, the office will still get phone calls meant for her, but I give them the venue’s number, and all is good.

Except this guy.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Law Office]. How can I assist?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m Brian with [Restaurant Business]. Can I speak with Heather?”

Me: “Heather no longer works here. If it’s regarding [Venue], I can give you her phone number.”

Caller: “Can you forward me to her?”

Me: “She no longer works here, so no. I can give you the phone number, and you can call her.”

Caller: “Can you forward me to her?”

Me: “No. I can give you her phone number, and you can call her.”

Caller: “Why can’t you call her?”

Me: “Because I’m not doing your job for you. I’m not going to get your info and call her to tell her to call you. If you want to talk to her so bad, you can call her yourself.”

Caller: *Smugly.* “But she’s your coworker, so it is your job to call her.”

Me: “I already said she doesn’t work here anymore. I’m giving you a courtesy by even giving you the phone number. I will hang up right now and block this number so you will have to go and do extra work – which you seem allergic to – to try and find her number.”

Caller: “So you won’t forward me to her?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “…I’ll take that phone number.”

Me: “Sure, here you go.” *Gives number.*

Caller: *Sarcastically.* “I hope you have a great day.”

Me: “I hope you have the day you deserve.”

Customer: “Can I keep these indoor plants outside?”

Me: “Well, they are tropical plants and we live in Canada, so they would be fine for the summer, but you would need to bring them inside during fall and winter.”

Customer: “Okay, but what will happen if I just leave them outside for winter?”

Me: “…They will die.”

Customer: “Okay, but what can I do to keep them alive?”

Me: “…”

I work at a chain Chinese restaurant. A customer is arguing with me over the bill.

Customer: “Why am I being charged extra for the extra sauces!?”

Me: “It’s in the name, sir. Extra sauces cost extra.”

Customer: “I’m not paying! You didn’t explain it to me!”

Me: “It says clearly on the menu that extra sauce costs extra.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to read the menu!”

After the customer argues with the manager and us and is finally forced to pay, I turn to my coworker and manager and sigh.

Me: “I knew it was gonna be one of those days when my first customer sent back the hot and sour soup, saying it was too hot… and too sour.”

Customer: “Can you read the menu out to me?”

Me: “Uh, we have almost a hundred and fifty items on there, ma’am. Were you after something specific?”

Customer: “If I knew what I specifically wanted, I would be asking for it, wouldn’t I? Read them out to me, including prices.”

Me: *Looking at the line behind her.* “Ma’am, I can hand you a printed menu if you—”

Customer: “—No! I forgot my glasses and I can’t read those.”

Me: “We have a large-print—”

Customer: “—No! If you don’t verbally read the menu to me, then you’re discriminating against people with poor eyesight and those who wear glasses.”

Me: “Ma’am, your eyesight must truly be bad if you can’t tell that I’m also wearing very strong glasses right now.”

Customer: *Looking at me, and noticing me for the first time.* “Oh, well—”

Me: “—Not to mention I saw you drive into the parking lot to be here today, ma’am. That must be one of those new self-driving cars!”

The customer glares at me for a moment before snatching a copy of the menu and walking to the side with it. When she finally decided what she wanted, she barged back into the line to order, but she’s stopped trying to scorch the Earth with her attitude by that point. 

Some people really do just like causing a scene for the h*** of it.

I am in charge of granting access to shared folders within our company. An employee I don’t know reached out.

Employee: “I need the schedule folder for [Team].”

Me: *After verifying that they are part of this team.* “Okay, I just added you to the access list. Give it a minute, and you should be in.”

Twenty minutes pass.

Employee: “I need access to the Purchase Order folder.”

Me: *Checking permissions again.* “Okay, you should have it shortly.”

Employee: “Why can I not access Billing? You said you let me in.”

Me: “You did not ask for access to Billing.”

Employee: “Yes! That is what I’ve been saying!”

For this level of clearance, I have to have the team lead verify. There is information in these files that not everyone should have, so I have to be sure before I grant it.

Me: “Hi, [Team Lead], I have [Employee] asking for access to the Billing files for [Team]. Is this okay?”

Team Lead: “No. Take him out of everything and do not reply to his requests.”

I removed all of his access immediately.

I looked out the window later to see him being escorted to his car by our security with a police officer on his arm.

I later learned that he lied on his application; he neglected to mention that he actively works for the budgeting department of the customer that the team handled. He was allegedly trying to gain access to information that the customer wanted in order to get a better price!