A Ripply Snake

March 16, 2026March 15, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 25 Comments

Snake season in Arizona. It seems to have started earlier than normal this year.

This Year’s Snake Story

I was sitting in my lounge chair on the patio, engrossed in a book, when The Car Guy, who seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to snakes on the patio, poked his head out the garage door just as a snake was making slow but steady progress out from under my chair. Calmly, but with sufficient authority to get my attention, he said “Don’t get off your chair. There is a snake under it.”

With less calm, but certainly not panic, I watched as the head, and then 44 plus inches (112 cm) of snake, slithered out from under my chair. The part I was most interested in was the final 4 or more inches of the reptile. That is where there would be rattles, if it was a rattlesnake. Fortunately, it was a garden variety Gopher Snake.

The snake, which was apparently just passing through on its way to more important things, slithered over to the wall, which is where it did something we have never seen before. It not only conformed its body to the indents of the paving stones, it added another ripple mid way between each indent.

Gopher Snake (Pituophis catenifer), likely a Sonoran Gophersnake (Pituophis catenifer affinis)..

Snakes are not my favourite things, but they eat the other not favourite things we have in our yard, so all in all I put them in the win column… My other snake stories are here: Snakes on my Patio.

Now, for the part you have all been waiting for – what I found on the Net of All Things!

What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A civil serpent.

As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves…
So Noah asked them, ”Why aren’t you multiplying?”
The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Looks like the boa cons tricked her.

Yesterday I took LSD and I wrestled with a grass snake for three hours.
On an unrelated note, my mum needs a new garden hose.

A Hope and a Prayer

March 10, 2026March 9, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 18 Comments

Once in a great while a story is so magnificent, so grand, so great that it begs to be told and while this is not one of those stories, it’s nice to know that they’re out there.
– A Bulwer-Lytton Quote by Douglas A. Bass, Farmington, NY –

In January we opened up the Bland Beige House after an eight month absence. Why some things quit working when there is no one using them is a mystery.

– No Power to the lights in one bathroom. Circuit breakers on main panel were all switched on. Found a tripped ground fault breaker. Reset it.

And God said ‘Let there be light’, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

– We had reinstated Cox TV and Internet. The TV was working fine and the Router was blinking like normal, but there was no internet connection.
I Tried the ‘Unplug the router’ thing for a minute to reset the system and we were off to the races!

God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle…
but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.

– The taps in the Guest bath were not working. The bath tub and toilet were working fine. After consulting the Web of all Things and trouble shooting the system, The Car Guy found the culprit – the Faucet Aerator was completely plugged with minerals.

Home Renovator’s Serenity Prayer:
Please Higher Power (Internet, Home Depot, Library, Family):
Grant me the courage (balls) to fix the things I can,
The humility to call in the pros when I’m in over my head,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
– thissortaoldlife.com –

– Evidence of termites in my craft room. Called a professional.

What do you call a religious termite in Hungary?
Buddha-pest.

– Multiple puddles in the yard where there should not be puddles. Irrigation system has run amok. Called a professional.

My friend saw I was upset the other day and he said “It could be worse. You could be an irrigated hole in the ground surrounded by brick work that people use to get water.”
It didn’t help, but I knew he meant well.

It was Bow-nd to Happen

March 5, 2026March 4, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 37 Comments

The Car Guy took a break from making wood boxes for my bows – so I decided to just mount the bows on wood backings that can be hung on the wall. When he gets back into making boxes, I can take them off the wall and use them as box lids if I want to.

I’ve been thinking of names for some of these wood bows – perhaps Tie Hard, Knot on Duty, Bow-hemian Rhapsody and Knotty Professor.

For a change of pace, I started making bows from epoxy resin that we poured between two thin wood strips. This first one turned out really well. I’m sure knot gonna forget the day I finished this one!

The epoxy bows are certainly knot without style! I bow-lieve they are some of the best bows I have made, though all the others are knot at all shabby!

Man Colds and Mom Colds

February 26, 2026February 26, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 31 Comments

The Car Guy and I are mostly recovered from having a cold. His verged on the dreaded ‘Man Cold’. Mine was a typical ‘Mom Cold’. In terms of naps taken, kleenex used, cough drops ingested and Tylenol consumed, our colds were fairly similar.

According to information I have found on the web of all things, however, the only similarity between these two types of colds is that both start with the letter ‘M’. A Man Cold is apparently infinitely worse than a Mom Cold.

Man with a Cold: “I will probably die…” Source: Web of All Things

Woman with a Cold. “I’ll sit down for a few minutes after I weed the garden, make lunch and clean the house.” Source: AI image I created with Perchance.

During Labor, the pain is so great that a woman…
can almost imagine what a man feels when he has a cold and fever.

My husband is home sick today. Please send casseroles, because apparently he is going to die today.
– alfromtheblock –

I have also read that men and women might actually experience colds and flu differently. Research suggests hormones, estrogen in women and testosterone in men, can cause different immune responses which can lead to higher fevers and more severe reactions to viruses in men. Culturally, men may be more likely to express their discomfort, while women just get on with their normal routine and suffer in silence.

Love is a Lawn Mower and an Aston Martin

February 16, 2026February 16, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 18 Comments

Morning Ritual – The Car Guy and I have breakfast together and talk about what is new in our world – emails, text messages, various news sources and blogs – and I consult my favourite sites looking for memes and puns.

This past Saturday was no different except it was Valentines’s Day. The Car Guy gave me the absolutely most perfect card, then whisked me off to the Fountain Hills Concours in the Hills Car Show. Halfway through the 2 1/2 hour stroll he bought us lunch (Mint Chip Ice Cream)! Does the man know how to make me happy!?

My Valentine’s Card to him had to have a car theme, of course – and it had to be a car with the kind of face that makes you feel happy just looking at it.

I found it at the car show – this 1968 Aston Martin DB6 ‘Mark 1’ Volante. Here is my message to The Car Guy:

Will you peas be mine?
I wheel-ly love you!
We mermaid for each other!
I’ll never leaf you.

About the Fountain Hills Arizona Concours in the Hills Car Show- 12th Annual

Peter Volny started Concours in the Hills in 2014. This year there were probably about 1,000 new and old vehicles brought to the site by owners and dealerships. There were also military vehicles, very rare cars, offroad vehicles, motorcycles, civilian and military helicopters. Proceeds go to the Phoenix Children’s Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders. Attendance this year is estimated to have been between 40,000 and 50,000 people.

The first Concours in 2014 had about 220 cars and attracted about 3000 spectators. We started attending in 2015 and while we still love the event, the huge number of people makes it challenging to get good photos of the cars!

The Show is held on the grass park that surrounds a lake that features the Fountain Hills Fountain. It is the 3rd largest fountain in the world. It runs every hour (for 15 minutes) from 9 AM to 9 PM.

This is the fountain’s normal height which is 330 feet. On special occasions the fountain will reach a height of 560 feet.

Aerial Photo of the event in the Fountain Hills Park a few years ago. Source: Promotional Material

Portrait of Stanley the Cat and Some Leaves

February 10, 2026February 16, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 15 Comments

Stanley the Cat with former Prime Minister Stephen Harper in the foreground. Harper says the cat was the one member of his family who consistently polled better than he did. Stanley is a grey tabby that the Harper family adopted while Harper was the P.M. of Canada.

Stephen Harper’s Portrait by Canadian artist Phil Richards

I think people should elect a cat person. If you elect a dog person, you elect someone who wants to be loved. If you elect a cat person, you elect someone who wants to serve.
– Stephen Harper –

As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions.
– Stephen Harper –

———

Multi coloured flowers and green leaves in the process of engulfing a polished mahogany chair and the legs and feet of former American President Obama.

Barack Obama by Kehinde Wiley, 2018, oil on canvas.

I’m so overexposed, I’m making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.
– Barack Obama –

You know, one of the things I think you understand as president is you’re held responsible for everything, but you don’t always have control of everything, right?
– Barack Obama –

Newly Named Disease – Gullibleist Biasopinion

February 5, 2026February 5, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 22 Comments

Though it isn’t getting the press that Covid did, there is an even more debilitating virus circulating the globe. It is not known where it originally came from – (it will undoubtedly be blamed on Trump) but according to the diagrams I have seen of it, it may have first been accurately documented by Alberta cartoonist, Ron Leishman of Toonaday.

Since I am a fellow Albertan, I thought it was my civic duty to bring this to your attention as main stream media has dropped the ball on alerting people.

The virus causes a disease called Gullibleist Biasopinion and it currently has two variants. One is called Horribilis myside bias and the other is called Horribilis yourside bias. Symptoms of both include anger, denigration of others, swearing, irrational anger and other negative behaviour aimed at people who do not belong to your ‘tribe’. In short, if you have the myside variant, you may become unhinged in the company of anyone with the yourside variant and vice versa.

Though there is not currently a vaccine, it is believed that a change in diet can help. In the handy charts below, selecting items as close to the center of the chart tends to bring about a narrative balance that is healthier, and causes less anxiety and distress, than choosing items from either side of the middle.

It should be noted, though, that a healthy diet can include items from the L (or LC) columns and the R (or RC) columns if items from both sides are regularly consumed in equal amounts no earlier than 3 days after an event that could cause a flare-up of symptoms. (This hopefully offsets the gullibility that often accompanies bias.)

This diet can be used by Canadians and Americans.

It is believed that this disease has not yet peaked in Canada. The activity of denigrating a certain American leader could have unintended consequences if the Canadian Government continues to blame all the ailments in Canada on someone other than the government of the last 11 years. (Hence the increasing potential of Alberta having an Independence Referendum.) Interesting times.

My Version of Face Time

January 26, 2026January 25, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 19 Comments

We arrived in Arizona in time for Car Week and so far we have not been to a single Car Show, Meet or Auction but it is not for lack of interest in cars by The Car Guy – it is maybe more like we have no desire to get in our own car and go anywhere that then requires us to mix with large swaths of humanity in order to see the cars, (though we will go to our favourite Show ‘Concours in the Hills’ in February.

A while back I did a post called: Hooked on Faces wherein I looked at cars with distinctive faces. Here are a few more:

1938 Ford 5 Window Custom Coupe – **On the Verge of Tears**

1931 Cadillac 355A V8 – **The Owl of the Automotive World**

I finally made a table out of my old car tires.
It took a good year or two.

Falconer Dodici custom – **Cheeks filled with acorns – an Automotive hamster**

1948 Buick Super Eight – **An Angry Gal Wearing Braces**

Dad was busy earning money so that the family could purchase the new Buick, which boasted 44 pounds of chromed
trim. The Russians may have had working space satellites, but they had nothing like that.
– Dave Barry –

1956 BMW Isetta 300 – **A Bug Eyed Damselfly**

A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting.
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker, and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’
‘NO’, the young lady yelled back, ‘It’s A SCARF!’

1951 Hudson Wasp Custom – **Too much Lip Filler**

There was a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery.

The head of the group walked in and said, “I’m seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I’m pretty disappointed.”

1948 Chev Custom Pickup –**As Kermit the Frog would say, It’s Not Easy Being Green**

Life is like a Chevrolet; sometimes you need a tune-up, and sometimes you need a whole new engine.
– Author Unknown –

1947 Ford Pickup – **Not Shy About the Orthodontics**

1939 Ford F1 Pickup – **When the Surgeon Goes Overboard on a Nose Job**

There’s a reason our nose is in the middle of our face.
It’s because that’s the scenter.

Rat Rod called Pontirat – **Why Yes, it does live in Alberta!**

A Trip in 500 Words

January 21, 2026January 21, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 23 Comments

Below is a 500 Word Sentence, which I thought would be hard to write but it actually took less time than it took to prepare the trip photos below. (I broke it up into short sentences so that it is easier to read – it is not my attempt at writing a poem… really.)

We got to Arizona Saturday night
after three days of driving
(all done by The Car Guy because he is less comfortable
with my driving than his own
and for good reason
because I am a bit off balance
since I bonked my head
and lost some hearing in my right ear,
but I could still talk just fine
though I think I maybe only said about 500 words
during the drive and he said about 30,
mostly in response to my query,
would now be good time to talk about something,
to which he would respond
actually, I would rather drive than listen
so I would go back into thinking mode,
which I do a lot of
when we are making this trip of 2658 KM
(3 days, 24 hours driving time)
from just north of Calgary, Alberta
to our Arizona place just north of Fountain Hills,
which is as much a change in temperature
as it is a change in scenery
because it was still winter in the north,
though it was a mild spell of just below
freezing temperatures when we left
versus the much warmer temperatures in Arizona
where, interestingly,
they have had a lot of rain
so the desert was greener
than we have ever seen it this time of year
and things, like brittlebush
(which have bright yellow flowers)
are not what we would normally expect to see,
though brittle bush is a weed
(or I suppose it would be more polite to call it a wildflower)
that grows in abundance in my neighbourhood
no matter how many times I might try to eliminate it,
which I don’t because it grows well with no extra water
and we try to conserve water here,
to the point where we don’t have grassy lawns
but have probably tons
of coloured gravel instead,
which you would think would deter snakes
but snake skin is pretty tough, I guess
or they would live in more sandy parts of the desert
but they like our yard
because we have a lot of burrowing rodents for them to eat
which we try to get rid of (traps)
but for every one trapped
another two move in from one of the neighbours
who does not trap rodents or even attempt
to keep the weeds under control
which would be more annoying if we were here
all year long but we are only here in the winter
and weeds don’t seem quite so ugly
because they are green which is a colour
we really miss in the frozen north
which is why we spend 3 days driving south,
sometimes on icy roads
just to get here and enjoy a respite
from an Alberta winter
before we head north again
which usually takes a few days longer
because we stop at the Grand Canyon or Bryce
or some other interesting site.

Virgin River Gorge, I-15, Utah and Arizona

Toler-ant, Trump and a Duck

January 12, 2026January 12, 2026 ~ Amusives ~ 15 Comments

Proceed with caution. I am going to tackle a divisive topic with my usual lack of tact and diplomacy…

I found an excellent poem at the blog Grammy Writes. She examines her perspectives – which I summarize this way:
– Can Understanding lead to Agreement if it means a surrender of beliefs?
– Can Compromise work if it leads to an erosion of either sides guiding Principles?
– Is Tolerance the answer?

Sufficient tolerance
to stand together
without pretending we are the same.
– Understanding is Not Enough – Grammy Writes

Sufficient Tolerance – This made me think of the C.S. Lewis quotation: “Two heads are better than one, not because either is infallible, but because they are unlikely to go wrong in the same direction.

Does Tolerance have Constraints? I came across a quotation from Dr. Gad Saad, Professor of Marketing at Concordia University (Montreal, Canada). He writes about idea pathogens that are destroying logic, science, reason and common sense. His take on tolerance is:

A Society dies when it cares more about exhibiting infinite tolerance and empathy than invoking its survival instinct.
– Gad Saad –

That brings us to the news this past week – the capture by the United States of the self declared President of Venezuela, Nicolas Maduro. Maduro is charged with running a “corrupt, illegitimate government fueled by an extensive drug-trafficking operation”.

President Trump is not the first American President to believe that “Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil.” (Thomas Mann). That belief has led to the removal of other evil leaders by American Presidents including Bush who removed Noriega and Hussein; and Obama who removed 45 terrorist leaders including bin Laden.

While President Trumps actions have many detractors, what is not in dispute is the long list of documented instances of Maduro’s crimes against humanity. Nearly 8 million Venezuelans have left the country as a result of Maduro’s actions, making it one of the largest displacements in the world.

A UN report in 2025 says that “more than 117 million people have been forcibly displaced worldwide as a result of persecution, conflict, violence or human rights violations.” Perhaps Trump’s disruption of evil regimes will allow large numbers of displaced people to return home.

When it comes to those who do not like President Trump, tolerance is not the word that comes to mind.

But Will that help Trump’s detractors become more Tolerant of him?
To answer that, (and bear with me here as to why I compare Trump to a duck…) I consulted an AI Search Assist bot to make that comparison. The AI Bot responded with a comparison of Donald Trump to Donald Duck (as opposed to ducks in general) and in some cases the Bot had kinder things to say about ‘the Duck’ than ‘the Trump’. Trump’s communication style was characterized as ‘Often unintelligible’ while Donald Duck’s was ‘Semi-intelligible’. Trump’s family life was ‘married multiple times, has children’ while Donald Ducks family was ‘close and includes Daisy and nephews.’ In other areas, like bragging and reaction to criticism the two were deemed to be much the same. (The AI Bot characterized President Biden as a ‘Lame Duck’ President, but he gets a good review when asked for a comparison to Donald Duck.)

My conclusion is that this AI Bot has been influenced in some way to be prejudiced and intolerant when it comes to President Trump! Similar influences, I suppose, as the segment of the population who are similarly prejudiced and intolerant to anyone not of their political persuasion…