Tag Archives: movies

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Fibbing Friday #305

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Last week Pensitivity101 wanted our thoughts on these!

1. Borg

It was an artificial, sheepskin-like, insulating fabric in Clarissa’s jacket, in The Silence of the Lambs movie.

2. Caught in 4k

I told the neighbor to leave his cell phone, and its GPS app, at the office, if he was gonna visit his side-chick, but tell his wife he was working late.

3. Cheese Pull

Did the bloody Brits invent a new term to describe wanking??

4. Cheugy

This is the Czech name for a filled doughnut that the Poles call a paczki – a word that simply means “package.”  Especially popular before Easter, the local Polish market includes some with a rose-flavored cream center.  Anybody want to try some?  I’ll email them to you.

5. Chopped

These are our Guaranteed, Government, financial, retirement benefits, since the Provincial and Federal Governments have wasted $Billions on every boondoggle except a digital copy of the Epstein files.  The cat and dog have started a GoFundMe campaign, to help ensure their kibble.

6. Chuzz

This is the new Woke language style, that won’t call a spade, a spade – just an African-American, even if they live in Belgium.  He was shot nine times, and unalived.  I’ll bet that he was impressed with that.  It makes it sound like he was standing on queue, waiting for the stairway to Heaven.

7. Crash out

The son works a midnight shift.  He usually comes home and busies himself, making food, and reading, but…. there are some shifts where I come down to find him sprawled – often face-down – on the couch – dead to the world.  I have to wake him up, to go upstairs to sleep.  I sometimes wonder why there isn’t a chalk outline around him.

8. Blue-Pilled

Let’s see….was it the one that shrinks my enlarged prostate??  The one that increases blood-flow, to help it work….or was it the Magnesium supplement?? 😕  It could be arsenic and old Archon.  I gotta trust the wife.  She’s the one who fills my weekly pill dispenser.  I recently found her staring at our marriage license.  I think she’s looking for the expiry date – either the license, or me.

9. Fridge cigarette
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Why is there a letter D in the word ‘fridge,’ but not in ‘refrigerator?’
If you had a look inside my fridge, you’d realize that there’s not enough room for it.
What were we talking about??  Fridge cigarettes??
Uh….frozen fish sticks??!  Not with that door standing open.  😳

10. Buns.
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I have Buns of Steel, © ™ but not from exercising, or else the rest of my body wouldn’t look like Bib, The Michelin Man.  I got them from hours spent in the World’s most uncomfortable computer chair.  Before any of you suggest a better chair – this one is the only reason that I get any of my chores done.

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Fibbing Friday #303

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Mixed bag of silliness from Pensitivity101 last week:
My  suggestions for these!

1.  What is a mamba?

Aunt Jemima’s sister, who taught her how to make pancakes

2.  What is a rumba?

I knew I shouldn’t have had that second chili dog with jalapenos!!  Fortunately, the bathroom is unoccupied.  😮

3.  What is a samba?

A character in The Lion King movie

4.  What is a metronome?

A really short guy who rides the Paris subway

5.  What is a mantra?

A big, really flat fish, that flies though water, and could make you believe that its ancestors mated with space aliens

6.  What is a salsa?

That is the sly, slinking sidestep that the office rumor-monger takes, when the boss demands to know who started  the story that Richards, in Accounts Receivable, is an ICE agent.

7.  What is a cappella?

The new, largest size coffee that Starbucks serves

8.  What is canasta?

An archaic card game that is only played in the country north of the USA  (Not) Speaking of Canada…. did I mention archaic??

9.  What is alabaster?

A chef in a Muslim restaurant

10. What is a stanza?

He was the Italian actor who was (supposedly) the male lead in the TV series “Who’s The Boss.”  Elton John wrote about him – Hold me closer, Tony Stanza.  If you don’t remember him, don’t feel bad.  With his acting abilities, he was often upstaged by furniture.

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Fibbing Friday #297

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It was Boxing Day, and the questions from Pensitivity101 last week were a mixed bag of whimsy and anything else!

1. Why is there a fairy on top of the Christmas Tree?

Because a bunch of drunken anti-LGBTQ bullies chased him up there

2. Why is the 26th December known as Boxing Day in some countries?

To honor the birthday of Mohammed Ali.   He wasn’t really born on that day, just like Jesus wasn’t born on Dec. 25th.  He switched it to the Muslim calendar when he changed religion.  Jesus switched His when he went from being a Jew, to Christianity.

3. What would be the gifts from the Three Wise Men today?

Some Bitcoin, a 23 And Me kit to establish who the true father is, and some free therapy sessions.  They’re gonna do WHAT to me??!

4. What is Hogmanay?

That’s what the Irish call bacon.

5. How much is a monkey?

All except the tail

6. Do crows crow?

Yes!!  Especially the ones who got a part in the movie remake of The Raven.

7. Why do milking stools have three legs?

To get to the other side

8. What is meant by perfect pitch?

That’s when the Nigerian Prince convinces someone to supply their banking information.

9. Where will you find a palm tree?

Unlike stigmata, these are marks on the insides of your hands, which show your Grandma that you’ve been indulging in too much self-gratification.

10. What is rolling stock?

Incidental supplies, available at your local cannabis dispensary

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Fibbing Friday #294

 

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Questions from Pensitivity101’s newsletter last week:

1. What does HG represent on the Periodic Table?

It’s a new movie rating.  I think it stands for Hurling Guaranteed.  It is applied to the likes of all Adam Sandler comedies???.

2. Which actress said “Fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy night”

That was Mae West, right after her, “Why doncha come up and see me some time.”

3. What is the coloured part of your eye called?

I called the one in my right eye, Cassiopeia.  I was going to call the one in my left eye Iris, but I thought that might confuse people, so I named it Guinevere.

4. Which is the currency of Laos?

I just checked, and it’s still called Laos – so that’s current, unlike Burma, which became Myanmar, and Siam, which changed to Thailand, but kept the cats.

5. Which book was about a band of rabbits?

Hunting And Trapping Monthly

6. Which mountain range separates France from Spain?

Spain has the Cantabrian Mountains between them and Portugal, to help keep out the smell of fish.  They call the range between them and France, the Sinranas – which, in English, means no frogs.  They have a gigantic engineering project, trying to jack them up a little higher.

7. Which African country was once called Abyssinia?

Another country changing its name??!  First it was called Rastaland, until that was declared unwoke, then it became East Jamaica mon.

8. Which song did Paul McCartney write for John Lennon’s son?

Little Sir Echo

9. Which 1960s film finds an astronaut making his way through a strange and hostile environment?

Don Knotts’ The Reluctant Astronaut

10. Who wrote the Little Mermaid?

That was my cousin, Morton.  He says that he just emailed her, but the cops said that it was sexting and harassment.  His therapist called it piscophilia, and increased his treatment schedule.

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Book Review #32

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Some science fiction authors write about the future – but they do so in more than one way.  In the late 1960s, the prop-master for a Sci-Fi TV series, cobbled together a hand-held, fold-away, ship-to-shore communicator between an orbiting spaceship, and the ground party.  20 years later, millions of people owned flip-phones.  Sci-Fi authors in particular, can be very prescient, revealing as-yet unseen developments.

Title: Mona Lisa Overdrive

Author: William Gibson

The review:

This is the third book in a trilogy, beginning with ‘Neuromancer,’ and ‘Count Zero.’  They make more sense, read as a trio, but he put in pretty good STOP/START points, so that each one is fairly well self-contained.

Actually, the story itself is rather unimportant – a small-time quest for more money and power in a post-apocalyptic world.  It’s the ‘matrix’ upon which he builds the action that is significant.   I obtained an undistributed 1989 copy of the story first published in 1988 – when the Internet was still a baby – when few of us even knew computers existed, or owned one – when some of us weren’t even born.

This is the author who conceived The Matrix, who wrote the book about neural data storage and transmission, which became the Keanu Reeves movie, Johnny Mnemonic.  The book is rife with drug use – organic, custom-designed laboratory, and neurological.  He foresaw ‘Influencers.’  You can upload and experience segments of important people’s lives, by inserting mini-flash drives into USB-type ports in your neck, and get electronically buzzed the same way.

He was the Canadian equivalent of Philip K. Dick – both of them needing a good screenplay writer to tone down their stories.  He lived in southern British Columbia, where special mushrooms were common in the wild, and fairies and unicorns – and less pleasant apparitions – gamboled in the woods.  He may have invented Sasquatch.

It was an interesting time passer, but I wouldn’t really recommend it.  If you do drugs – it won’t make any sense – and if you don’t do drugs – it won’t make any sense.

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Fibbing Friday #287

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Rubbish questions from Pensitivity101 last week. No doubt your definitions will be more interesting!

1. Baloney

In The Excited States, it is also known as ‘Hillbilly steak.’  Fry up a thick slice of that, and slap it between two slices of Wonder Bread™ with lots of ketchup, and it even makes Spam seem like an epicurean viand.  On the other side of The Pond, it’s a stone in Ireland, which a lot of people want to stand on their heads and kiss.

2. Hogwash

This is a money-raising, charity event, where scantily-clad young women clean and polish Harley-Davidsons.

3. Codswallop

That was a comedy bit from the old black and white movies, that wasn’t quite as funny as the pie fights.

4. Bunkum

That’s the semi-sticky stuff that looks like kids’ Play-Doh, which people use to mount photos or signs, without damaging walls.

5. Claptrap

Tradition is peer pressure from dead people.  Live people now give a standing ovation at the end of movies, or when a pilot lands a plane, when the person just doing their job can’t even hear it. I produced three-quarters of a million Jeep CJ sound-abatement panels, and nobody applauded me.

6. Fly tipping

That’s what happens when I don’t wave the beer-bugs away from my bottles of liquid inspiration.  I’m not drinking that 3%/alcohol American mouthwash, or even the 5% They all taste the same, the only difference is the labels Canadian excuse for beer.  I’m drinking 7.4% imported Bavarian dark ale.  Anybody see a weekend lying around??  I seem to have lost one (or two).

7. Tripe

When the colours in the knitting are all off on an angle or scattered into weird colour groupings.

8. Balderdash

He was the younger brother of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, in the Shakespeare play, Hamlet.  He was a carpenter/woodworker who built little dollhouse porches around King Claudius’ ears, so that Hamlet could pour poison in.

9. Trash

This was the style of music that eventually gave way to Heavy Metal.

10. Scrap

What’s left, after a healthy teenage boy goes through the fridge after school – not scraps, a scrap.  You thought there’d be leftover roast beef for supper??!  😮  Maybe enough for one sandwich.

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’25 A To Z Challenge – M

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I am always in awe of movie and television writers.  They must be like industrial spies, aware of the latest technology, almost before it exists, so that they can write it into scripts, and make the public aware of it.

In 1966, the bridge-crew of the Enterprise had wireless, electronic tablets, when most of us didn’t even have computers.  These later-to-be Ipads had beep-beep, flat surface pushbuttons that didn’t’ show up on my kitchen stove and microwave for another decade.

The year before, in a movie called Arabesque, a professor of Middle-Eastern languages, is kidnapped by the CIA, to translate a small note, written in Arabic script – because one sect is going to wipe out another sect.  (How things haven’t changed in 60 years!)

When he finally translates all of the nuances, the result makes sense – but it doesn’t make sense.  It’s as innocent as a recipe for hummus.  The secret, when it’s finally discovered and revealed is that one of the periods in the script has all of the information – IN ENGLISH – reduced 1000 times, through the optical science of

MICROGRAPHY

which is a division of STEGANOGRAPHY, the process of hiding things in plain sight.  The most common modern examples are benign computer files or messages, where secret information is added by making one small section denser.  First, you have to know TO look; then, you have to know WHERE TO LOOK.

I look forward to having you join me on Wednesday, for a new contest.

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Fibbing Friday #282

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Questions from Pensitivity 101’s monthly newsletter last week:

  1. Which is the highest ever grossing show on Broadway?

Rent!  They are expensive, charge more & more each year, get captive crowds every month, and have very mixed reviews…

  1. How many times has Rafa Nadal won the French Open?

I don’t know about good ol’ Rafa, I prefer the French Onion Soup!

  1. Who played the Young Victoria?

Emma Watson, but The Spice Girls biopic was still a flop

  1. Who sang the 1957 original of That’ll be the Day?

John Wayne, from the soundtrack of the movie, The Searchers

  1. What’s the Buddhist state of happiness called?

Ohio, where they serve cats and dogs on restaurant menus

  1. Which lake has a mythical creature named after it?

Ogopogo.  It even got its own comic strip

  1. Which year was the Chevrolet Corvette introduced?

That was the year that GM/Chevrolet decided to get into the penis substitution business.  With the number of insecure males around, it could have been any year.  Those who lack a big dick, often act a big dick.

  1. What kind of cells are found in the brain?

Padded cells, for the ones under MAGA hats

  1. How many different actors have played James Bond?

If you read my TILWROT VI post, you’ll know that the answer is a definite maybe!  Barry Nelson did for a one-hour TV episode in 1954.  Beginning in 1962, the Broccolis, pére et fille, gave us Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and Daniel Craig.

In the 1967 non-Broccoli send-up of Casino Royale, David Niven was the only real James Bond, but to confuse the opposition, MI5 named every agent they sent in, as Bond, including Peter Sellers, and Usually Undressed Ursula Andress.  It depends on how you ask – and answer – the question.

  1. Which is the world’s oldest active volcano?

It’s the one on the little island near Bali, where the weekly sacrifice is a sack of bran.  You can smell that one all the way to New Zealand.

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Fibbing Friday #278

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Last week Pensitivity101 asked, How’s your history and general knowledge? (I’m old enough to have lived through most of it, so you may see the occasional reference to Plato, or Julius Caesar)

1. Which Monarch famously said ‘I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king?’

Queen Latifah

2. What is the rarest blood type in humans?

Canadian blood – we’re Eh-positive

3. Who wrote the novel Brave New World?

Elon Musk!  It was going to be the tale of using SpaceX to terraform and colonize Mars, but it became a how-to manual about surviving the last Trump.

4. Which famous composer was deaf for much of his later life?

Eric Clapton – in the beginning, his group played so loud that the Cream clotted.

5. What was the name of Rick’s nightclub in the movie Casablanca?

In honor of a broken knee that he got while on a drunken bender, he called it the Gin Joint.

6. What is the world’s largest species of penguin?

The one in the Batman movies

7. Who was the first female Prime Minister of the UK?

Lloyd George’s grandsomething – Boy George

8. Which painter cut off part of his own ear?

The contractor who was renovating the Roman coliseum.  He heard Marc Antony say “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears,” and he wanted to Make Rome Great Again.

9. What is the most widely spoken language in the world by number of native speakers?

Profanity

10. Who were the Axis Powers of WW2?

Argentina and Uruguay  A lot of Germans who would have been considered war criminals, quietly spun out of sight in Europe, and rotated across the Atlantic, to become preferential citizens of these countries – because they preferred to bring gold with them.

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I’m Rarely This Happy

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WOW!!  I found two uncommon and interesting names on one drive home from the store.

After I followed the butthole of America, I passed a small work-truck that said INGOD Basement Restoration and Construction.

At first, I thought it might be English, and mean exactly what it said, or an Estonian name that means ‘left-handed,’ but research reveals that it’s a Romance-language-based name from the word ‘ingo,’ which means male ruler.  In Spanish, the male given name gained an I, and became Inigo.

My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my Father.  Prepare to die!

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Closer to home, we followed a Sorrento, almost identical to mine, but from a dealership a hundred miles to the East, named Bessada KIA.  Spelled with one S, besada is an Egyptian word that means Arrakian sand-worm.  With two SS’es, Bessada is not merely Portuguese, but Brazilian Portuguese, and means ‘kissed.’

Eso beso