I came back from STL yesterday. 

Got into town Wednesday evening and went to see my mom Thursday morning.  Spent most of that day with her.  The place where she’s living is a nursing home, no two ways about it.  And she’s not happy there…but she’s making good progress with her physical therapy.  Only problem is, the bone they had to break to replace her hip implant, her left femur (thigh bone), is not healing as quickly as the surgeon would like.  There is no definite prognosis for my mom, which means she could be in this place another six months or longer.  Or it means she might never walk again, and be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

Friday she met with a couple of lawyers so she’d asked my uncle to come hear what they had to say.  She also asked me to be there, and of course I didn’t mind.  They were there about an hour, maybe a little longer.  The one guy was the one Mom and my aunt had spoken to already, but he asked another bigshot lawyer from a firm in downtown St. Louis to come and meet with Mom also.  This second guy is a partner in the firm and specializes in medical malpractice lawsuits.  He told Mom that really she has two cases, one against the doctor who did her first hip surgery, and one against the manufacturer of the implant.  He said her best bet was to go with suing the manufacturer because it might be an easier case to prove in court, and it would probably have the best outcome with a jury.  He is going to get all her medical records pertaining to the case and have experts look them over, I would assume to determine if she has a case to begin with, and second how to proceed from there.

I took notes of what he said, and I hope this goes well for Mom.  She’s not looking to ruin the surgeon or make money off this; she just wants the right thing to be done for her.  No matter what she decides, I support her and I’ll do whatever I can to help.

She’s talking about moving, so that’s good that she realizes she has to leave the condo.  It’s just too hard for her to get around, what with all the stairs.  She’s concerned about finding something she can afford and I understand that.  But again, I’ll do whatever I can to help.

Saw my grandparents and they’re not doing so well.  Both are back home, but I have a feeling my grandfather will be back in a nursing home soon.  Apparently the last place he was in, once he was done with his physical therapy, they ignored him.  They left him in a wheelchair all day and his muscles deteriorated so much he can’t get himself out of bed, dressed, bathed, or any of those things.  My aunt has to come to their house to help, and they’re also having home health aides come help him.  Obviously when the time comes, he won’t be going back to the same place.  And the pathetic thing is, that place was charging over $5000 a month for him to be there.  The place where my mom is charges about $6000 a month, and they do the same thing–park these poor people in wheelchairs out in the hallway or by the front doors and leave them most of the day to fend for themselves.

It’s sad.  And it’s an outrage.  I don’t want my mom to have to be in a place like that, but what do you do when they charge so much money?  I can’t afford anything better for her and a place like that will bleed her savings dry.  Which is ridiculous.  At this point I try not to think about any of those things but I know sometime I will have to figure out what to do.  I don’t want my mom in a nursing home at all, but can I afford home health care?  I don’t know.

One step at a time, I know.

This is one of the reasons I hate being an only child, and another one of the many reasons I hate the healthcare system here in the United States.  This for-profit bullshit is just that, bullshit.

In the meantime, I don’t know if my mom will even be home for Christmas, and that breaks my heart.  😦