The 1920s portrait of my great-grandmotheras it arrived back to me from B.C.
Caitlin Kelly
It’s a word much overused — like (uggggh) elevated — but it makes sense.
Whether you’re slowly building a stylish home or wardrobe, a mix of vintage, antique, new, a dash of super-cheap and a smidge of huge splurge, (for us, original art /photos and very good custom framing) sale scores and auction/flea market finds — thoughtfully arranged — can add up to a look you love that’s distinctively great looking, comfortable and stylish.
I recently pulled out a decade-old long black Aritizia dress (ankle length, ribbed, stretchy) and threw a vintage black wool Banana Republic vest over it, added a scarf, boots — totally different look. I can toss on a cardigan in cream or black, or a great new black and white crewneck with leopards on it, keep switching up scarves (have wayyyyyy too many), change out boots/shoes. I recently scored a fantastic 1940s black felt hat with a wide metallic embroidered ribbon ($110.) It’s just eccentric enough to be interesting but not too kooky.
Having lived in Paris at 25 and visiting many times since (and online daily ogling Paris apartments for sale) it’s clear why Parisian women are so careful about what they consume — no closets! Our apartment has four and they’re not nearly enough! (We have three armoires in the living room.)
I get much of my best inspiration from British design magazines — especially Homes & Gardens and World of Interiors — as the homes they choose, in that great Britishism, are always characterful. Not sure if the UK wealthy, some with centuries of great stuff awaiting inheritance, rely as heavily on professional decorators and designers as North Americans do; as Lady Mary of Downton Abbey drawled, disdainfully, to Sir Richard Carlisle, her new-money newspaper suitor: “My lot inherits. Your lot buys things.”
I do read AD, and enjoy it, and sometimes American and Canadian shelter books, but I just can’t relate to their aspirational enormous kitchens, massive sofas, multiple bedroooms…All that white! All those rooms!
With U.K. style stories, there’s always some history: a chipped plate, a ragged sofa, a dog or three — but acres of style, a fantastic mix of old and new, weathered, patinated and polished — usually a marbled paper or striped fabric lampshade, a gleaming wooden side table, some silver, a deep sofa with a pile of artfully mismatched throw pillows. I admit my favorite is the country house look, (albeit on our smaller budget in a 1960s apartment), with a mix of velvets and cottons, jute rugs and lusterware, polished silver-plate cutlery in vintage French jam jars and transferware plates on display.
Our living and sitting rooms include this mix of high and low, costly and much less so:
Two olive green velvet square stools (Arhaus, on sale); ours have shiny brass bases (prettier!)
A repro Pembroke table (consignment shop); an 18th c style popular until 1840, really light and versatile with a drawer and two leaves
This soft area rug (Ikea); crazy good quality for $200
Anyone who’s been reading my blog for a while — thank you! — knows I thrive on all things stylish.
Ok, that’s a big word. A vague word!
I mean, not trendy. Not per se expensive or designer. Elegant, chic, intriguing work for me. Timeless, but not stuck in the 30s or 50s or 1800s.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a family who all had great style and the means to enjoy it.
My mother had gorgeous mirrored Indian fabrics as wall hangings and collected fabrics as she traveled the world, from a white cotton burka (!) to beautiful woven Peruvian mantas. She was very beautiful and enjoyed attention for it.
My father, whose clothes were always well-made and well-tailored, collected a wide array of art, from Japanese prints to Inuit sculptures. My maternal grandmother had a lot of money and her taste was more informed by decorators, but all of it lovely. I grew up going to art galleries and museums, and auctions later in life — country ones in Nova Scotia and New Hampshire, a few city ones in Toronto and New York, plus flea markets and antique shops everywhere I live and travel.
All of it, every bit, taught me about proportion and materials, the discernible differences between a genuine antique and a reproduction, between nylon and silk, linen and cotton, cashmere and wool. I also look at a lot of design magazines and books, some websites and, in the 90s, I also studied seriously at the New York School of Interior Design, which gave me a lot of knowledge and confidence.
But style isn’t cookie-cutter — and so many current designs all look the same, no matter how charming or costly.
Some things that make a space truly stylish:
Great lighting
Rarely overhead, never without dimmers. As one video says: “You’re not doing surgery in the living room!” You do need good lighting for a bathroom, kitchen and stairways, but no one likes glare.
Great looking lamps, fixtures and lampshades
Generic lighting can really wreck a room. A mix of tall and short lamps, antique/vintage and modern, a pair of great bases with matching shades, all work. Consider a patterned shade. Consider a pretty finial as a finishing touch. I recently made the simplest possible change to an antique lamp (adding a new white linen shade, unlined) and BOOM — it now offers maybe 200% more illumination. A stunning and affordable improvement.
I see so many that are overpowering in their colors and design, usually too small for the space. There are many places to buy nice wool vintage rugs online, like Chairish, instead of one more piece of bright polyester from China. Many English homes choose a simple neutral-colored rush or sisal rug for texture and reserve using pattern and a lot of color for easily-changed art and accessories.
Vintage/antique pieces
Brown furniture is often seen as the (boring) default, but there are many other ways to add something old to the mix. It might be brass or chrome or silver or pewter or ceramic or painted wood. It might have a patina. Make sure whatever it is will fit your space and is sturdy. I’ve bought several pieces of furniture at auction, even online. Mixing periods can work, but clunky Mission furniture won’t play well with Louis 16th. Nor will mid-century work with Eastlake. Do some research before committing time and money. We own two well-made reproductions (a chest of drawers and a Pembroke table) for less than 50% of what an antique version would cost. They look terrific and 95% of people wouldn’t know anyway.
Artwork
It doesn’t have to be valuable or original, but it should have personality and not look like everyone else’s house. Our collection includes photos by us, photos by legends like photographers Hume Kennerly, Pentti Samhallatti and George Tames, a Spanish litho from the 1970s, two of my father’s small oils of my mother, a poster by French artist Sempe, an Inuit print of a polar bear, a few exhibition posters from shows I saw in France, two framed 16th c tapestries (inherited) and a large Chinese print on rice paper.
Yes, eclectic! But carefully displayed in coherent ways.
Art can be posters or (your) drawings or photos, even stunning images cut or copied from magazines or books in a simple frame. Don’t hang everything too high! I want to see this stuff — not crane my neck.
Window coverings
Overwhelming! Soooooo many choices. I would avoid any sort of plastic blinds, vertical or horiziontal: dated, flimsy, fragile, easily bent or broken and they are real dust magnets. I’ve seen wide wooden ones that can be a great look. For curtains, always, always lined and weighted at the hem unless sheer linens or sheers.
Pattern/prints
I’ve included three photos of printed things we own: the top one is a pillow cover from West Elm (I think!), the large green gingham is bedding (excellent quality!) from Quince and the striped rug from one of my favorite sites, Dash and Albert. I don’t like a lot of prints, but use them in small doses like a pillow cover or tablecloth or napkins. There are so many amazing choices out there, including Etsy and Spoonflower. The trend now (gross) of all gray and white is dull and depressing and why???!
I inherited this 19th c sampler from my mother…soaked it in warm water with a tiny bit of bleach and put it into a lovely new simple frame. It hangs in the kitchen with the burgundy stitching the same color as some of the tile.
Color
My obsession!
As I’ve written here many times, our go-to for paint is the British firm Farrow & Ball; one nice thing is you can always have them re-mix an “archived” (discontinued) color. We have French Gray in the kitchen and one living room wall, Skimming Stone everywhere, Rangwali in the sitting room and Straw in the bathroom.
The floor has a color! Your huge black or brown sofa is a massive blob of color! A stark white room is its own statement.
But it’s easy to get color very wrong, which is why so many people do! It’s affected by adjacent colors and needs to play well with the color of the floor and your other items in the room and the sources of natural light and, ideally, what’s outside the windows — which is why deep glossy purple or turquoise is rarely a great choice. The trend now (not my jam) is “color drenching”, including the ceiling, using very deep shades of blue and teal and brown. I give it a year or so…
It helps, for your clothing as well, to discover what colors really make you happy; if primaries (red, blue, yellow) I’d strongly urge them in small doses so the room doesn’t resemble a kindergarten.
Accessories
For me, this is where the magic of personal style really happens. It might be a collection, nicely-displayed.
Some of our accessories, acquired over years from Ontario, Connecticut, Maryland, Pennsylvania and a local mall, include: an antique folk-art wooden horse in glossy black paint, two early hand-blown bottles I use as vases for flowers, two modern pierced metal lanterns with candles inside, a small porcelain plate with a dog painting, a tiny owl figurine.
I find lovely things everywhere — at consignment and thrift shops, auctions, flea markets, antique stores and whatever modern company I enjoy. Price isn’t the point, but charm and utility.
Retailers I like include Hudson Grace, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, West Elm, Anthropologie. I really like the spare elegance and European vibes of Zara Home. Love this tray from Abask. For a very girly/pretty collection of linen and tableware, Mrs. Alice.
Ideally, a mix of charm, history, meaning. One is an Art Nouveau pewter plate of my late grandmother’s I loved for years.
Condition
The basics — a room in poor condition will always look unappealing. Things to consider: new caulk/grout in kitchen and bathroom, new flooring or wallcovering (there are many non-permanent options for renters), dirty/dusty lamp fixtures and shades, poor lighting (under or overlit), stains and marks on walls and baseboards…Most fixes are cheap and easy to do, often just a fresh coat of spackle and paint.
What’s your style?
They all have fancy names now — like Coastal Grandmother (what?!)
Mine is most likely English country house — (yes, in a 1960s suburban apartment with no crown molding or fireplace or flagstones or boot room…) — which means a nice comfortable mix of deep sofas, throw pillows, candles, soft lighting, some classic shapes, some things new, some things clearly old. Much as I appreciate crisp, clean modern rooms — all cream and black — it’s just not for me. Looking at lots of options will help you get clear on what makes you happiest.
We’ve never upgraded so many things to our apartment in such a short time, as we had a party May 10 and a firm deadline to get it done.
Some were long awaited and so badly needed: repairing cracked and peeling parts of the ceiling and one wall, completely sanding and repairing a windowframe and sill.
New sconces for our kitchen, glossy burgundy with brass interiors and backplates.$555 for three (plus labor)
An entirely new set of pots, pans and frying pans. $310
New kitchen knives.$300
A lovely three-piece tea-set from our local thrift shop, from the terrific Italian ceramics brand Vietri. $45
A hand-held shower in oiled bronze to match our existing bathroom fixtures. $100
A new summer rug in light summer colors from, as always Dash and Albert.$88
New track lighting for our dark hallway — four lights instead of three — and white canisters with gold accents. $150
A new large oval wooden table for the balcony, including assembly and installation, a splurge$1,450
Gorgeous new olive green gingham bedsheets (including four pillowcases and a duvet cover!) from Quince. So soft!$140
Two new pillow covers from West Elm, on sale.$75 for both
$2913.
I know, it’s a lot! And only possible all at once thanks to Jose’s thriving freelance photo editing business. But amortized out over two years (and all of these things should last at least five or more!), that’s $121.37 a month, well worth it for all it has added.
It had also been such a long time since we upgraded anything, let alone this much — and these have all made such a difference in comfort, beauty, brighter lighting and happier and easier food prep, cooking and dining.
I’m not one to cycle in snow — but it is a skill! Bern, 2024.
By Caitlin Kelly
At a certain point in life — ideally sooner rather than later! — you realize the rather extensive toolkit you really need to enjoy a healthy and successful life, whether at work or personally. The default assumption is that everyone learns this stuff from their parents or siblings or friends or neighbors, but some of us just don’t!
I was never taught how to drive, cook, apply make-up or skin care or how to dress or dress fashionably. I left my mother’s care for good at 14 and lived to the age of 19 with my father and his girlfriend who was too old to be a sister and not suited to a maternal role, being 15 years older than I.
So, I had a lot to learn and still do, often feeling embarrassed so late in life not knowing how to use hair products, or how to make a great sauce. I do know lots of other things! Fluent French, decent Spanish, the ability to get mistaken for a serious collector or dealer at antiques fairs or flea markets or shops, having done a lot of serious study and some collecting. I can make hospital corners on a bed and whistle loudly with two fingers (both learned at boarding school), how to portage and do a J-stroke (summer camp) and help to raise and lower a spinnaker on a sailboat or grind jib or read a paper map or…
A list:
Nothing wrong with still treasuring your stuffies! Mine give me great joy.
Emotional
Emotional self-regulation and self-soothing.
Without which your life might be a non-stop mix of draaaama and neediness and loneliness and boredom. Therapy, and sometimes medication and sometimes a later life diagnosis of ADD or ADHD or dyslexia, is a huge help in getting fresh eyes and ears and, ideally, some constructive and compassionate advice. I grew up around a lot of anger (verbal only, but scary as hell) and my temper can still be volcanic. Working on it still, but trauma cuts deep. I’m still easily triggered when a man raises his voice to me.
The willingness to apologize quickly and sincerely.
As crucial in romance and friendships as at work, in any situation. Now having been with my husband for (!) 25 years, we’ve inevitably said some stupid and hurtful things along the way. Both of us know this is essential to continue without rancor. In two situations where I messed up professionally on freelance projects (rare!) I quickly apologized and it was accepted graciously, lucky for me.
Flexibility
Not being a doormat, but knowing when to gracefully accede to another’s wishes. Being able to roll with the punches, whether a vacation ruined, bad health issues, a child struggling with substance abuse — life rarely offers us all a flat, smooth path.
Compassionand empathy
Oh, we live in such cruel, brutal heartless times! I can barely stand to read or listen to the news or see what terrible things so many people say on social media. Without compassion and empathy we’re simply bags of meat getting and spending til we die.
Curiosity
I can’t fathom people who are incurious, but then I’m a nosy journalist who drove her teachers mad with “why?!” The world is so utterly fascinating and there is so much to explore, especially now with online access to so much, like the world’s best museum collections and libraries.
Listening
It’s been said this is a rare skill. Too many times I attend an event and am subjected to a tedious monologue meant to impress me — and no back and forth! As a journalist and mentor and writing coach, my work demands listening carefully to tone of voice, hesitations, pauses and silence. Not everyone speaks as quickly or easily as we might prefer.
Some spiritual life
Our time is short and it helps to have a moral compass. A religious or spiritual life or discipline can help. Sorry, but I won’t include Christian nationalism or evangelical patriarchy.
Courage
HUGE. There are so many moments in life we really need this, whether applying for a grant, fellowship, school, job. Facing serious illness or injury or others’. Trying a new skill, even just traveling alone.
Having and nurturing friendships
I think using all the above elements of EQ make friendships more likely to start and survive conflict or misunderstandings. People are said to be lonelier than ever now, between political division, reliance on social media instead of meeting face to face and fear of COVID, measles and whatever else is out there. Long COVID is no joke, so I get it! I have a hard time with this even though, thank heaven, I also have friends that have been with me for decades. I recently reached out to two women my age and had lunch and we had a great time each time. It takes a bit of guts to get out there, just like dating!
Stamina
I really think this one gets overlooked. If you’ve ever been seriously athletic, you know how essential this is to just keep going. Emotionally, it’s so easy to give up and walk away when things are boring and tedious and tiring and ugggggggh. But I know how much it matters to be able to stay in the game and, maybe, eventually, win it.
Resilience
Related to stamina. I’ve had to survive a divorced and isolationist mentally ill alcoholic mother, a narcissistic father, a challenging step-mother, a divorce, five orthopedic surgeries, early stage breast cancer, long periods of unemployment, three recessions and a lot of moving around. I’m fine. (Thanks, therapists!) If you crumble in the face of adversity, life is going to be a long nightmare to endure. Having solid friendships helps a lot. If you have a close and loving family, it helps a lot. If you have good health and/or savings, this all cushions those inevitable blows. But none of us get through unscathed and being able to withstand/recover from tough times is crucial.
Physical
OK, not for every day — but a treat
Nutrition
I wish to hell we were all taught this in school: how to choose and prepare healthy foods and do it affordably, not just live on ramen or tuna fish or fast food.
How to cook and bake
There used to be home economics classes in high school where we were taught this — OK, usually girls only. I’m shocked when teens leave home with no idea how to make a meal or feed themselves healthy food and enjoy it.
How to clean your home
Basic hygiene, whether laundry, bedmaking, dusting/sweeping/washing everything on a regular and consistent basis.
I got this gorgeous print by Vlaminck at a NYC auction for less than $700
How to make an attractive home, especially on a budget
This has been my passion for many years and I’ve studied design seriously. I also read shelter magazines and design books for ideas and inspiration. Between thrift shops, flea markets and consignment shops, you can find some wonderful things to add charm and warmth. It doesn’t all have to be stuff made in China. All our cutlery is a mix of flea market silver plate and a few antique sterling pieces, gifts. Our pretty crystal goblets were found many years ago at an antiques fair.
Lacing up the skates in Montreal
Exercise
Ugh. Some people just hate it, but a sedentary life is lethal and over 40 our muscles atrophy by the minute.
An understanding of how our bodies work!
Again, we should all learn this in school somehow. I have only truly learned the most about my muscles, joints, tendons, ligaments and fascia (?!) through years of physical therapy and massage, and each person has taught me a lot. Knowing the signs of a stroke or heart attack. Knowing what to expect from perimenopause and menopause, let alone puberty. Knowing when to get to an ER or an MD and when to take a painkiller and just get a decent night’s sleep.
Basic first aid
Like CPR! Having a well stocked first-aid kit handy.
Knowing how to sew by hand and own/use basic tools
I’ve always had a sewing box handy with a bunch of pins, needles and threads and use it often. Have long owned a toolbox with the basics: drill, sander, screwdriver, hammers, level, wrench, sandpaper, wood glue, nails/screws. It saves time, money and energy to be able to take care of small tasks on your own.
Intellectual
Personal finance
HUGE. Especially for women who may leave work and income and acquired later life benefits to have children and or be a caregiver. I was out at 19 and living alone in a big city and attending university full-time and freelancing — and had to handle every single penny on my own. I learned fast because I had to. How to save and invest and stick to a budget and set goals. All of it.
Ability to withstanddiscomfort/challenge
It’s hard to learn anything new unless we’re OK not being very good at it at first. It can require patience and a lot of hard work and for some things, worth persisting.
A foreign language or several
Something many Americans dismiss, which is a shame. My fluent French and decent Spanish have brought me tremendous opportunities.
Cross-cultural comfort
It’s not just “tolerance” but knowing about and respecting other cultures and their values. Yes, some are abhorrent to liberal Westerners, as some of ours are to others as well. Travel, as it’s been said many times, can deepen and broaden your understanding of the world but only of you’re open to it. There’s a lot more to see than Disneyland or Harry Potter venues.
Even a disappointing museum or gallery show can teach us.
Love this 20s beaded gown in Paris. Just admired it!
By Caitlin Kelly
I know many people prefer brand-new, shiny, never-used. Some who had to grow up with ugly old things they didn’t choose are eager to flee that frugality.
I’ve always loved old things and vintage clothing. When I was 12 my mother gave me the most gorgeous paisley velvet jacket with buttons of curved incised brass. It was mysterious and beautiful and I wore it until it no longer fit. Maybe from the 40s? I never knew, never asked. In my 20s I bought a Victorian combing jacket — this time paisley challis wool — with drifts of lace. I paired it with a hot pink moire skirt and scarlet knee high suede boots. DAMN. That was fun! I don’t have any of those now and would kill to have those boots back.
It’s been written about a lot — how so much clothing (Temu, Shein, etc) is cheap and easy to get but falls apart fast and is destroying the environment in its production techniques and the landfills of garbage it creates. For that reason alone, it’s not for me. But having worked in a career that was insecure and often paid poorly also meant being smart about what I acquired and kept — and have — for decades. I got a thick cashmere turtleneck for 10 pounds at a London flea market in 2017 and expect to wear it for decades more. I recently re-sold a very good pair of monk-strap shoes I bought in 1996 (yes) for some added income. Cared for quality lasts!
I’m not advocating for a life in costume, but an appreciation for a great 70s suits or 20s muffler or 40s pumps or 30s jewelry.
I’m the blonde in early 20th c dress and my bestie in a Victorian bathrobe. Wedding No. 1
As I’ve written here, our apartment is filled with antiques, from 18th century china to a battered teal-stained armoire, tribal wool rugs to prints from the 50s and 60s. I grew up around these kinds of things, so it feels normal to me to enjoy the mix. I also have new shiny objects, like the silver velvet sofa, modern tableware and linens, gold metal lamp-stands and new rugs. I don’t want to live in a museum.
It’s a cliche but true that older pieces are often much better made and of better materials than anything we can now afford or want. My favorite item is the table this laptop sits on — from the 18th century. Yes. The oak is very finely grained, its edges gently smoothed and curved. Its two ends can fold down to make it smaller as needed. It was a rare gift from my father. It’s a material link to the past.
Who sat here? What did they say? What did they see?
And “antique” is a very loose word! Technically it refers to anything 100 years old — so 1925. Cool! The Art Deco era that produced some of the most distinctive and stylish objects for many years. I’m less fond of mid-century (1950s) but to each their own.
When it comes to clothing, though, I’m becoming much more interested in sites like Poshmark, Vinted, the RealReal and Vestiaire Collective. I don’t want Big Name Designers (OK, not the ones most people crave), or logos and labels, but style and quality I can afford. On our visit to Paris in November 2024 I had the best time ever in some vintage shops and at the Lyon flea market. I scored an amazing hand-knit long coat with massive cuffs, collar, wooden buttons and pockets — for 25 euros. I love what a style boost it offers. I got a stunning deep olive suede pouch on a silver chain for the same.
Being so immobilized by pain for months made any in-store shopping physically impossible — except for one day in Paris when I paid a friend to skip work and keep me company. She scored too! Scanning websites is booooooring but it forces you to make decisions.
I’m excited now to start mixing and matching my vintage pieces with newer ones. I doubt I’ll ever lose my taste for wit, style and elegance. It adds such joy to life!
Although I’m now (happily) doing less work, I’m staying busy with travel and plenty of paid and hope-to-be-paid freelance projects, hoping to stay active, valued, connected and creative. I flew to Toronto in June to attend the memorial service for my oldest friend’s mother’s memorial service. Her late mother was First Nations and it was great to meet so many of her relatives who came from distant provinces, to meet her three daughters and to see her and her husband again — they live very far away from me in the interior of B.C. I also caught up in Toronto with several old friends.
I started teaching webinars in February with a friend, Matt Potter, who lives near London and is, like me, a career journo who’s a multiple author and has worked and lived around the world. We did a total of six of them (pitching, ideas, interviewing) and attracted more than 200 fellow freelancers, from India to Australia, Vancouver to Edinburgh. It’s been a real joy and has also brought me more coaching clients, from Montana to St. Croix.
The French church, Bern
I took on my fourth mentee through Report for America, as someone still passionate about great reporting and writing. I work one on one with journalists just starting out, usually in small regional newsrooms with few to no older mentors available there. I’m still friends with my first, the second was a mutually agreed poor fit, the third ghosted after a family emergency….fingers crossed this time.
Despite a hip that needs replacing (surgery January 7, finally!) I also went solo to London for six days in early September and loved being back for the first time since July 2017, even having to rely totally now on short crutches. I finally met Matt in person after six years of Twitter friendship, was treated to “Hamilton” by Roma, a pal from our Paris fellowship in ’82, and reconnected with Cadence and Jeff, two younger friends.
Our month in Europe (Paris 2 weeks), Lyon (4 days), Bern (6 days) and Zurich (3 days) was the best trip we’ve ever done, and the longest. Jose ended up (!) dragging both heavy suitcases as I was in a wheelchair at every airport and train entrance and exit. Unlikely but true — I reconnected with two ex’es in Paris, one away in India doing research and the other, like me, deep into his second marriage. I had last seen him 32 years ago on my first honeymoon. We had a great dinner with him and his wife and have been invited to visit their home in Spain.
Spitalfields antiques market (every Thursday)
We visited museums (Musee d’Orsay, the Museum of Liberation, Palais Galliera, the Paul Klee Museum and art museum in Bern.) We had a sublime moment in a 12th c. Bern church as we were allowed in while it was closed and heard the organist practicing. The city got a massive and unusual 8-inch snowstorm which shut down every form of transit so we also had, and needed, a few days of resting in the hotel. After enjoying a Christmas market with gluhwein, we had the most elegant lunch of our lives in Zurich at Kronenhalle, which is 100 years old, filled with original art.
As we head into the new year, I want to thank everyone here who still visits, reads and comments — some of you since the start in 2009! It means a lot to have even a small (visible) audience, even though WordPress says this blog has 23,000 followers.
Wishing you a healthy, happy 2025!
The snowy rooftops of Bern — my favorite image I took this year.
I began my career as a photographer, selling three of my images for the cover of Toronto Calendar magazine when I was still in high school — earning me a staggering $300, a fortune then, still a nice sum today. It suggested I have a visual talent, a way of spotting interesting things.
I now spend every day savoring style, wit and beauty, whether enjoying our gallery wall of photos and posters, seeing it online, in films and TV, in magazines and newspapers or in my stacks of design magazines and books. Few things in life bring me as much consistent joy.
So our month in France and Switzerland delighted me! I came home with dozens of images, some to paint, some to frame, some to give to friends, some just to savor. People watching in Paris is one of the most fun activities imaginable — the colors, styles, mix-and-match of high-low/vintage-new, the careful attention to proportion. It’s so rarely about wearing Big Designer Names, as it is in New York (tedious, predictable) and much more about making interesting individual choices. I got some fantastic vintage pieces, a pair of pastel velvet (!) sneakers and so many scarves and bags (most vintage) I don’t even dare admit it.
I’m very lucky to be married to a visually sophisticated man — Jose — a career photographer and photo editor who shares this love of beauty. I also grew up in homes with parents who loved art and beauty in many forms: a small wooden Japanese mask, soapstone Inuit sculptures and brightly colored prints (one now over our bed), a Picasso litho (hanging by our bed) and a film-maker father whose many artistic skills showed up in the oils, etchings, lithographs and even silver objects he created. I took all of it for granted (which I should not have!), but grateful that it informed my eye and my thirst for more of it.
When we visit museums, I come home with my soul refreshed by what we’ve seen — whether a stunning and sober deathbed portrait at the Musee d’Orsay to an enormous wall piece in Bern. I feel parched if I don’t see beauty…and yet it’s everywhere around us for the noticing.
A few images from our latest trip:
Koninghalle, a 100-year-old Zurich restaurant
The streets of Bern, confetti-filled, after the annual onion festival
The 12th c French church, Bern
Bern’s Paul Klee Museum, designed by Renzo Piano
The Parisian woman all in navy blue with white hair perfectly cut. Yup, that’s the look!
A metal tea-pot cover. Of course!
A 20’s beaded vintage dress in Paris
Love these cafe stools, on our Paris street
Wishing you a lovely holiday — and a year ahead filled with beauty in every form!
I know many people cherish items for their sentimental value — a T-shirt from a favorite band, a piece of your mother’s or grandmother’s or great grandfather’s jewelry or furniture, a stack of love letters (on paper! remember those?)
I’ve been thinking more about this as I enjoy some things I’ve inherited from my mother and father. They mean a lot to me, as very little that belonged to my very wealthy maternal grandmother came down to me; she hadn’t bothered to pay any taxes to any government for decades, including Ontario, Canada and her native U.S. which taxes both citizens and green card holder like me even if they leave the U.S. for good. Then there were “death duties” owed to even more outstretched government hands. My mother ended up selling most of it.
But there’s a small pewter Art Nouveau plate I loved and my mother got it and kept it for me, and a huge print of a polar bear that’s an early Inuit print that actually has some value. I had long hoped I might own it some day but, since my mother and I were estranged, never thought I would. It now hangs over our bed and I am so glad to have it — have been loving it since I was a little girl. (You can see, funny thing, its color perfectly matches the headboard I made with fabric I brought home from London.)
There’s a Picasso lithograph, (not worth a lot of money, but I love it) that my father gave me and it hangs beside the bed. He is a talented artist so I also have two small oil paintings of my mother he did. And there’s a storage locker full of his things that his four kids will have to deal with.
And I have a gold chain and charm my late maternal grandmother gave me in my teens. She was always giving me gifts, which irritated my father (why?!) and I really miss her generosity — she died when I was 18.
So most of the antiques in our apartment, from cut crystal decanters to a 19th century tea-set to a hand-woven coverlet, all belonged to other families along the way. I found them in flea markets and stores and at auction, happy to give them new life and enjoy their beauty and utility for a while.
A dear friend once remarked on my passion for all things antique as she saw I was somehow recreating a material history for myself I knew I would never inherit.
I still give my husband annual paper birthday and anniversary cards, as he does me — I love finding ones now decades old.
I also attach sentimental value to places that have changed my life for the better, like Paris. We fly today from New York back to Paris for two weeks — our first visit back since 2017 — then four nights in Lyon, then our first visit to Switzerland.
Paris changed my life.
When I was a restless, ambitious bored 24-year-old in Toronto, I wanted OUT of my life. It was perfectly fine: a cool apartment on the top floor of a Victorian house with a kind landlord downstairs, a loving boyfriend, a small dog, friends, a freelance career…
But I craved an ejection seat, a totally fresh do-over, which is very hard to do!
I ran into an acquaintance in the grocery store who had (gulp) just applied for an amazing Paris-based journalism fellowship; you had to speak fluent French, have good professionals skills (it was for people ages 25 to 35) and show an interest in European affairs. I had all of these — and won it (and she didn’t.) It was eight months, with four 10-day reporting trips, solo, around Europe, spent in the company of 27 other journalists from Togo, Ireland, Japan, Brazil, Italy, New Zealand, China, Bangladesh. It was, still, by far the best year of my life at CFPJ on rue du Louvre.
The CFPJ was originally the CFJ (a journalism program with 1,000 applicants for 50 spots)
I was deeply privileged to know M. Viannay as he founded our program, Journalistes en Europe (JE) in 1981, and brought to Paris many ambitious journos like me. He was very much the attentive, supportive “father figure” I never had, and I am forever grateful to him; I dedicated my first book to him. So even walking down rue du Louvre will forever evoke powerful happy memories for me.
I was thrilled to leave this far far away — sold at JFK airport
By Caitlin Kelly
As you know, I was nervous! Flying (with plane changes in Reykjavik), crutching, wheelchairs at every airport, handling luggage (bright orange duffel backpack)…you name it!
It was by far the best thing I have done in 2024.
I chose a very small hotel in Spitalfields, with only 29 rooms, on a quiet 18th c cobblestoned street with a huge skyscraper at one end, the start of The City (the financial district.) No traffic. No street noise. No drunken partyers or screaming sirens or kids running through the hallways. Sweet silence. (Apparently, American actor Stanley Tucci has a home in the neigh borhood.)
The hotel also offers none of the things we now take for granted: a gym, a spa, a bar, a restaurant, ice machines down the hallway. The walls are filled with early paintings, the hallways with antique rugs and furniture. Not everyone’s taste — but 100% mine. It has three public rooms, all small and elegant, one of which has an “honesty bar” where you can pour a drink and write it into a notebook to be charged to the room.
The view from my room.
Breakfast came to the room every morning on a tray after we filled out a form we left on the door handle specifying what time and what we wanted. Bliss! Not having to dress or interact publicly was a break.
My days were long and busy.
The first day I was shattered and napped for three hours, wasting my first day with exhaustion.
The V and A museum
Sunday I met a friend at the Victoria and Albert Museum and we focused on their fashion exhibit, had a very good lunch in their exquisite cafe and I shopped a bit at their store (Xmas cards, earrings.) It was an introduction to the nature of most older British buildings — they are huge, necessitating a lot of crutching to even find a toilet, let alone reach an exhibit. I had room service dinner; like every meal, brought on a wooden tray and eaten atop the vintage desk in the room.
Monday I spent at Liberty, one of my favorite stores in the world, full of gorgeous merchandise and very stylish shoppers. I bought some beauty products and had a pot of tea in their cafe — dismayed by the man vulgar enough to sport a red MAGA cap in such an elegant venue and intrigued by a lone tall woman in a very cool knit pantsuit who coolly ordered a glass of champagne. #Goals, my dears!
That evening I met a dear friend from our Paris fellowship when I was 25, had dinner (Kazan, middle Eastern, very good, would recommend) then saw Hamilton, her treat. It was stunning.
Tuesday began with a presentation to 10 PR people, reviewing their pitches. I was nervous but it seemed to go well. Then off to Tate Britain for a show of women artists for which I had high hopes. It left me cold, although I loved the later work, photography and paintings. Dinner with friends at Crispin (sooooo good!)
Tim’s diary
Wednesday I spent with a friend with whom I’ve been doing online writing workshops, meeting at the Imperial War Museum — whose front garden offers the unlikely combination of guns and roses. We went to see a show of photos and videos by the late Tim Hetherington and I’m glad we did. But the permanent exhibits were also stunning — enormous missiles and much-punctured aircraft. Lunch at the cafe and a great gift shop. That evening I saw the London City Ballet at Sadlers Wells, a gorgeous venue, with a sandwich and a G and T for dinner in a small local pub around the corner for dinner. I loved being in a residential neighborhood and a pub full of locals.
Journalism in war zones is dangerous!
Thursday was the Spitalfields antiques market, held 3 or 4 long blocks from my hotel, which I crutched to and back from. (As you can see, I really only did one major event per day. Crutching is really tiring!) It was a lot of fun and I scored a ring, some earrings, two 18th c bowls, a small early mirror and a cool hand-knit vintage sweater. At lunch the place filled up with all the finance bro’s from the surrounding office towers, vying for a range of great food with lots of tables — Turkish, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Italian, and the biggest donuts I’ve ever seen. Loved all of it. Out for dinner with a friend at Hawksmoor, which we loved and I highly recommend.
Friday…I had to leave! That was hard as I was having such a fantastic time. But also spending up to $100 a day for taxis (which I budgeted for.) I hope to be back there same time next year, same hotel — mobile!
Tips:
The app CityMapper is essential for planning your way around the city by every possible method, from e-bike to walking to public transit to taxis.
Taxis can use bus lanes (i.e. move faster than Ubers.)
You can use credit and debit cards everywhere. Bring some cash, but contact payments the norm.
Yes, it rains…but I saw only 3 storms and avoided all of them. The weather was delicious — 60s during the day and 45 to 55 at night.
I haven’t been back since July 2017 so am eager to revisit the city.
I enjoy London but I admit I always find it much more challenging than Paris, maybe because I tend to stay in the same few arrondissements and get to know them, while in London I roam around more. The past two visits I was fortunate to stay with friends but this time am splurging on a small five-star hotel in the 18th century neighborhood of Spitalfields, once home to the Huguenots who fled France and set up silk-making workshops there. I love all things 18th century so this is a great fit for me — and there is a huge market very close by that is all antiques on Thursdays.
One of my favorite shops anywhere!
This is the hotel, which was recommended to me by someone on Twitter — London is so big and there are so many choices!
I will have to spend a lot of money on taxis and Ubers since being on crutches makes public transit just too much right now. I have four friends to catch up with, so will only have two nights to myself. I’m seeing ballet and Hamilton and, I hope, three to four museum shows. I plan to visit Daunt Books, as I already have a sturdy cloth Daunt’s tote bag, a gift, and have them ship my purchases home.
I’ve been London quite a few times in my life, and we lived there when I was two to five while my father made films for the BBC. I have few memories, but here’s a rare photo of me in Kensington Gardens.
I am a truly terrible tourist, even when mobile, so have never done the usual circuit of Buckingham Palace, the Tower of London, London Eye — I don’t like crowds and standing in line. Some of my favorite memories have been sites like Freud’s house and the Sir John Soane Museum. And Portobello Market, and Alfie’s Antiques. I did enjoy having tea at the Ritz.
London
On one visit I stayed with a cousin living in one of the city’s most desirable and gorgeous neighborhoods — Primrose Hill — where every house is painted pastels, like a bag of sugared almonds. I loved the amazing view from its summit.
Broadside 
