like a puppet
and it makes me
do this
and it
makes me
do that
and it makes me
say something
at a particular
point in time
and it makes
something happen
or not happen
it guides me
through the years
hurting me here
helping me there
pushing me to
the ground
and then giving
me a hand
and it is so puzzling
its actions
I simply cannot
understand
and then finally
it kills me.
and I got hurt
I had done no wrong
I looked at the skies
the stars and the moon
and tears came into my eyes
life was like that
they told me
and now stones
were hurling about
and they were hitting me
from time to time
and I screamed in pain
as I bled
and then I was blinded
and I howled
till my heart broke
and I died.
the world is magic
and I know its secret
it is hidden in the mists
of the mountains
in the earth of the forests
in the sap of the trees
in the singing of the birds
and the music of the universe
makes me transcend myself
and become the cosmos itself
and I am the waves of the oceans
I am the butterflies flitting
I am all the people living their lives
I am their homes I am their beds
I am food I am water
I am the air you breathe
I am the blood running
in your veins
I am the strength in you
and I am the love
burning in your hearts.
a storm blowing
in my mind
which goes tumbling
all its thoughts
rolling like marbles
flowing like a flood
and all my feelings
are flying like paper
and there are random images
from my life flashing past
like visuals from a train
and then there is a bang
and darkness
and that is the end.
like an egg
and its strength
pours out
and now
it is depleted
and empty
and it vanishes
and in its place
are stones of sorrow
that I carry
in my head
my body stressed
and almost dead
such pain it has seen
and my eyes
see nothing
I am blind
because the world
has run away
from me
in fear
go away
go away
Dominic
I can hear
it scream
as I fall
to the ground
and die.
like water
down my throat
I see a white butterfly
in the golden sunlight
and in the palm of my hand
the blue sky plants a kiss
I touch the trees
I whisper to the forest
and listen to the happy heartbeat
of the mountains
and I know I am alive
every pore of my body smiling
and I laugh in joy
as the big white clouds pass by
saying hello
and I wave out to them
and I am talking to every man
woman and child
every animal every bird flying
with all forms of life
I am having a conversation
and I find I have transcended myself
I am multifarious
I am everything
and I close my eyes in bliss.
enters my body
and takes up
residence
in my mind
and the drone
of a vehicle
outside
is like crying
I feel
so sorry
for everything
for all the misery
that people
have faced
all the horrors
this world
has been through
and it is just too much
to bear
I feel the pressure
build up in me
and I burst
into blood.
the trees talk
softly to each other
the blue sky
is the open eye
of the mind
and the silence
is the cleansing
we all go through
we are bathed
in the air we breathe
our bodies open
to the universe
we float in love
and the cosmos
is entranced
and it glows
in delight
and everyone
flies high as a kite
and we sing
O life you we cherish
till we perish
but until then
in your arms
we are cosy
where everything
is so sweet
and rosy.
is all these conflicting
emotions
wandering in my mind
which comes to a standstill
and goes into free fall
and now I am enjoying
every moment of life
as buffaloes graze
on the forest floor
and the mountains
race past my eyes
the trees their branches
waving
and the sky dances in delight
blue and white
and the birds are singing
in ecstasy
and then there is silence
in which my heart opens
and I hold the world
in my hands
and I can see everything
very clearly
and I understand the universe
and kiss it with love.
and blinks
like it could
go off
and disintegrate
anytime
or burn into ash
and disappear
altogether
and in my mind
are scenes
from my childhood
rushing past
as though
they were
trying to find
a place to hide
before the world ends
and I am contemplating
the cosmos coming
to a close
and it is suddenly
such a beautiful feeling
I am so lost
in nothingness
I am so peaceful
like I have never
been before
and this absence
is the best
I’ve felt
in my life
I will be nothing
and there will
be nothing
I tell myself
and laugh.
Dominic Alapat 