I screamed and shouted
don’t it is the only thing
I have
but they were unmoved
they just walked away
and now I was in darkness
and I became alien to myself
I had no thoughts
only noises that made me
cover my ears
and then I began crawling
on my hands and legs
howling in madness
and I banged my head
against a wall and died.
how the sunlight
kisses me
how we make love
like lovers
and we are all
kings and queens
the way we are
fanned by the breeze
and the whole Earth
is ours all its land
all its water
and all its living beings
its people its animals
its vegetation
are our brothers
and sisters
and this is paradise.
along the road
and the years
go flipping by
like the pages
of a book
I am lighting
firecrackers
in Bombay
I am watching
this hippie
in brightly
coloured
clothes
in Kathmandu
walking by
the street
like he owned it
and the mountains
in Matheran
with their beautiful
green-grey-brown colour
and in the darkness
my friend Anoop
and I got lost
and we started
laughing
in the night
and here the breeze
blows and blows
till I rise into the sky
and the clouds clap
and shout Bravo!
to breathe
near the forest
next to the mountains
bright and happy
and how the sky
smiles at us
the clouds moving
slowly
waving at us
and suddenly
I hear laughter
and it is the sun
and I find myself
jumping up
and down
and I too am
laughing in joy.
in the ocean
I feel like
the wind blowing
I feel like
these boys
playing football
on the road
this Sunday
morning
I feel like
the quiet Earth
I am both movement
and stillness
and just for
a moment
though I know
it’s impossible
just for one moment
I want to go
out of this universe
and see
what’s there.
I find when
I close my eyes
and I see
the golden sun
dancing in the blue vault
and its warmth
fills me with
such happiness
snatches of conversation
in the neighbourhood
hug and kiss my body
the birds say
Dominic we love you
and begin to sing
and soon I find
I have grown wings
and start to fly
and my avian friends
lead me beyond the sky
and now all is calm
the universe comes
and sits in my palm.
like a bird
and goes
winging
around me
in song
and I begin
to dance
and find
life smiles
like a child
and claps
in joy.
and I start to float
and I rise higher
as I breathe
and I find
there is such quiet
I can hear the blue
of the sky
its silence so deep
I feel the universe
pass through me
and I come back
refreshed
to the world
and with love
in my heart
I greet
my neighbours.
and it is lying in pieces
on the road
outside my house
and inside here
my body is breathless
and thrashes about
all over the walls
the floor the ceiling
and there is blood
everywhere
and there goes
my left eye
as my head
splits open
and I die.
and peace flows
into my body
my eyes are so cool
the morning
so fresh
there is nothing
like life
and the sun smiles
waving at me
and the Earth
beneath my feet
is warm
like a mother
giving me
all her love.
Dominic Alapat 