and I soon realised
I could be
nobody cares
if you live or die
I found
but I grew miserable
and diseased
and the world
around me
didn’t give a damn
then I was slowly
able to revive
I grew and grew
happy
my nights dazzling
in silver revelry
my days blazing
under the golden sun
I was one
with the universe
in her arms I slept
after drinking
her milk
and now the Earth
is my home
anywhere I roam.
and my blood is stuck
I go out of this world
I eat nothingness
I piss absence
and my body is invisible
I have merged
with the atmosphere
gone into the sky
blended
with the darkening blues
the night begins
to forget
and the moon
comes out shining
and the stars sparkle
deep in the blackness.
There is such sorrow
in the world
the heart hangs
itself
it has no choice
it commits suicide
and then I am just
a ghost
walking invisible
and I have nothing
left of me
I am formless
and without feeling
and I pass through
the houses the seas
the mountains
till the limits
of this universe
and emptiness
is my lot
my voice silenced
till the end of time.
and wind blows
through me
walking
in Bombay itself
I had become one
going through
its streets
invisible
and now I can
be anything
I want
and today in Kumily
the birds are chirping
and whistling like
they are really happy
and I love
the weather
and the light outside
and I am now
all those
birds cooing
and calling
and I soon find
I am in paradise
multifarious
and beautiful
as thousands of me
are set free.
like water
to someone thirsty
and it seems so beautiful
flowing emptiness
peace goes
through my ears
through my body
and I feel cleansed
and invisible
I jump and shout
in happiness
and forests laugh green
trees sway in the breeze
dancing
and the wind
carries me
into the blue sky
and the sun my father
shines brightly
and I am flying
in ecstasy
above
the mountains
and they are so gorgeous
the deep valleys
especially at night
and I can become
anything I want
and I am now
a golden eagle
circling in thrill
and the universe
and I kiss
and it is this love
that I am
more than anything
else in the world.
the mind disappears into the void
faster
the body follows later
the universe vanishes
and that’s it
finally nothing prevails
emptiness dances
its death dance
ghosts howling
in silence
and memories
of multitudes
crawl invisible
all that was there
has gone somewhere
and here is the chatter
of zeros
and these are the heroes
of the cosmos finished
you cannot see
anything now
there is no reality
there is no fantasy
this is the end
the space after
the full stop
till the closing
of time
when its hands
fall off.
Dominic Alapat 