you don’t know their hidden lives
their motives
their pain their joy
you don’t know your father
your mother
your brother your sister
your neighbour
your husband your wife
your children
your friends
your enemies
even yourself
we are a world of strangers
and strangeness
and estrangement
and we are disoriented
and disconnected
and like balloons
we burst.
when I was young
all the good times
all the sunshine
all the starry
streetlit nights
life is good today too
the sky paints me
in strokes and circles
of white and blue
I am mountain dew
I am the wind that blows
I am water that flows
I am flowers blooming
I am the birds chirping
I am the children
on their way to school
I am nobody’s fool
I am everyone around
the world
every baby being born
this beautiful fresh morn
and joy is the song I sing
c’mon folks let’s take wing.
in unison
and last evening
in the pasture
before the forest
I saw a bunch of kids
around
and at one end
there was a girl
on a swing swinging
with her friends
around her
and at the other
I saw a boy
on a swing swinging
and there were
buffaloes too
and the day before
yesterday
I saw a guard
with his rifle
pass by
and here
the little ones
are going wild
their innocent voices
chanting together
and over the mountains
the mist moves
like a white curtain
showing you
the green hilltops
gazing at the sky
in rugged joy.
no religion
no ritual
no social custom
happiness
and sadness
oscillating
like a pendulum
in my life
releasing me
into freedom
and chains
I am full
of clarity
and confusion
living my days
and thinking
how I came
into this world
and how I came
to be what I am
my violent
alcoholic father
my stressed out
fraud mother
my sexually abusive
older sister
my existence
full of troubles
and release from it
and I realise that
all joy is a balloon
full of sad air
about to burst
and all sorrow
is mirth slowly
stirring
turning suddenly
to exultation.
across buildings
in Bombay
and here in Kumily
the birds sing
most delightfully
you could be surfing
inside a cloud
you could be springing
across the leaves of trees
you could be sliding
up and down mountains
and always there
is the forest
and so many stories
blow in the breeze
because of it
we are enriched
warbling in song in joy
washing in the light
from the sky
full of warmth
and in our hearts glow
the wonder of love.
when I close my eyes
is like a womb
in which I am an embryo
and I touch my forehead
with my fingertips
and my face
with my palm
and I inhale
the sweet smell
of life
today an eagle
kept flying
overhead
calm and majestic
gliding through
the air
and a newly
married couple
were getting
their pictures taken
near my house
and now I can hear
a baby screeching
in joy
and it is really
so amusing
and entertaining
this little one’s
prattle
and then I look
at the bright sunlight
outside my window
and I feel like a big
jumbo jet aeroplane
flying high in the sky.
my eyes closed
the soothing darkness
shutting out the world
comforting me
like an embryo
and I am
so many trees
such dense forest
and animals
looking beyond
to the mountains
and the green river
I start to swim
and I find
I am this flowing ground
shining under the sun
and the dappled shade
and there is this great joy
rising within my heart
and filling up the Earth
that nothing
not even death
frightens me now.
to the forest
I awaken to
such sweetness
such a variety
of beautiful sounds
my mind dances
in delight
and the birds
in the sky
sing peace
and the people
are glowing
in joy
they smile and talk
to each other
and the morning
suddenly begins
to trill
and our hearts
melt
in enchantment
and the day shines
like magic
there is a beam
on every brick
lighting up lives
of the healthy
and the sick.
and flippant
in a moment
and the outside world
could snatch
you away
in the golden joy
of the morning
and I think
of the bird chirp
as sweet flowers
I can eat
and suddenly
the blue sky
becomes the bed
on which I rest
and the clouds
my breath.
my head flies off
my neck
and begins
to float
like a balloon
in the sky
and I feel
so much lighter
I laugh
and there
down below
I see my body
waving at me
jumping up
and down
in joy
and I glide
freely
laughing louder
drifting in the air
till I merge
with myself
on the ground
once again
and all my pain
is gone
I am reborn
at the threshold
of a new dawn.
Dominic Alapat 