in the mind come

I ask myself

and listen to the birds

chirping

the gas van going by

with its cylinders

so many moments

from the past

and so many

random visuals

from nowhere

and I try to think

how does it happen

and how sometimes

it is better than reality

and how it is worse

how they give you

wings to fly

so that you

can see places

and things

you never saw

before

so that you can

revisit old joys

and then they

are also killers

that bring horror

so dark

you’ve never seen

and drag you down

to the dungeons

of despair

and those traumas

of the past

that have scarred you

they come again to

clutch your heart

and squeeze it

right in the morning

when you wake

and look at the world

and feel so miserable

you could die.