The Journey of my practice

The Covid 19 test kit arrived, the courier virtually lobbed it through the door as I opened it and ran back down the path as fast as he could, though I suppose if I was delivering test kits all day to potential virus sufferers I’d be a bit paranoid as well. As my niece, who is doing hospital Covid testing said, I’d done the test right, as it made me gag, ye I know TMI. It was collected by another courier from my doorstep and 3 days later I got the message, as expected, I’m negative and can go back to work. Ye right, I’m still furloughed until who knows when.

Practice is the only constant these days, it really has turned in to the only reason I bother getting out of bed. As well as daily practice, H has been doing Conference via Zoom and for the last few weeks Louise has been doing our Sunday philosophy class, Upanishads at Bedtime, we are doing the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad which includes this wonderful phrase, “You are what your deep driving desire is. As your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny”

Off the mat I don’t really have any worthwhile deep driving desires, well apart from to get my haircut and go back to work. But on the mat my driving desire is well known, to crack the standing up thing. During lockdown I’ve worked really hard, certainly it’s taken a lot of “will” and every day I’ve done the “deed” or thing as Angela describes it, but at last I seemed to have reached my “destiny” and have started to be able to drop back and stand up the required 3 times. It’s gone from taking anywhere between 5 and 15 attempts to get 3, to now being able to do 3 on the bounce. It got to a point that although I was standing up, it was no longer a happy dance moment, it felt no longer good enough to just get up, I wanted the nice floaty controlled ones, instead of impersonating a catapult and trying to stop my forward momentum before I hit the wall opposite.

This week from somewhere I’ve suddenly got the control in the drop and composure at the bottom and I’m coming up 3 times without huge steps and my head is staying back (HEAD LAST) . Being able to do it in 3, has shortened practice by about 20 minutes, not taking x amount of attempts and the mental dialogue and coaxing myself in to yet another attempt.

I haven’t had this consistency since before the shoulder fracture 8 years ago , those heady days in Berlin when Dena was having me do very assisted Tik Tocs.

C19 Arrogant, not a phrase coined by me. Despite being male, nearly 56 and allegedly in a slightly higher risk group I don’t feel in any danger at all. I would return to the Shala tomorrow if it opened, sweat, breath and adjustments, not to mention the “risk” of getting on a train to get there in the first place. I don’t know anyone who has had it, let alone died from it. I’m more than happy for a return to the new normal of queues and distancing and being able to get my hair cut for the first time since 7th February.

For the last few months I’ve taken part daily in the online Covid 19 Symptoms study being run by Kings College, my symptoms have largely remained the same, a cough and chesty thing I’ve had for months, plus odd days of headaches and mouth ulcers. Suddenly today I get an email from them saying I’ve hit the jackpot, as my combination of “symptoms” mean they would like me to be tested, though the email goes on to say they are also randomly asking people to be tested who they think don’t have the virus, so maybe I have, maybe I don’t, but at least I will have a definitive answer to whether I have it now, today, this minute when the thing arrives and I stick it up my nose. It won’t tell me if I’ve had the virus and recovered.

Today was also 100 day. On Friday 10th April I managed to drop back and stand up 3 times just from Primary, no nice 2nd series backbends to help open me up, since then I’ve only had 2 failure days. Today was the 34th day, not that I’m counting, ha ha, when I’ve managed to drop and stand the requisite 3 times, so that’s 102. Despite that amount it still feels very much like a work in progress