As train fares are up and furlough for me is at an end I’m having to make a decision about where I practice, as I’m back to living on a pension and just one day a week working. The week day morning mysore Zoom group is still going after 15 months and provides the motivation to get out of bed and get on my mat.
I’ve been back at AYL since April and for the last couple of weeks at our local studio as well, but with the financial situation that’s not sustainable. This isn’t just a question about money, it’s also made me think about why I go and what I get from going to practice. AYL and Louise provide a community along with a place to lay my mat, for me going to AYL has always been about the community as much as the practice. But with covid there isn’t much community, apart from the odd wave across the shala, long gone are the days of shared breakfast after practice.
It’s also about the practice itself, if I’m being honest I don’t need much help, I can bind everything on my own and having cracked the dropback game, I don’t even get assistance with that, so it’s the occasional random assist, but mostly just a case of plodding through on my own. Also I’ve been on Ustrasana 4 years now, so I think it’s safe to say as far as AYL are concerned I’ve reached my “last” posture. So with the physical practice I’m beginning to feel like my practice isn’t progressing or benefitting from making the expensive replacement bus trek into the city on a Sunday morning, but AYL feels like home and I’m loathe to stop going completely, but the urgency and need to go has waned.
The local shala is a different thing and is only just coming back to life after the enforced hiatus. It’s woken up to a different feeling, quite a few people haven’t come back and probably won’t, they have lost the habit, particularly the older people for whom it was more a social event in their weekly calendar and some who have moved away in the last year or no longer want to make the journey from further away. It seems to have left a smaller group, consisting of the more dedicated practitioners, we have all returned to our socially distanced preferred spots in the room.
The local studio has luckily retained Caroline to teach us, she’s an AYL student as well, so her teaching etc is very consistent with AYL’s. Post opening I’ve been 3 times now, the classes cost more than AYL, but getting there is a 15 minute walk, rather than the expensive train or 2 hours some weeks, on a rail replacement bus.
But as I said it’s not just about cost or the crap journey, it’s also about the practice and community. The local studio has a growing community. But the difference for me is the practice, at AYL I feel unseen sometimes, left mostly to my own devices, apart from an instruction a few weeks ago by Louise to put my heels together in Dhanurasana, I can’t remember the last time I got any actual teaching input. Caroline on the other hand makes sure we get what we need, she leaves me to bind Mari D and Supta K on my own, but she’s right behind me and on me when Bhekasana and Ustrasana come round. She doesn’t allow me to just plod through to my last posture, she’s actually had me trying Laghu Vajrasana and a very assisted Kapotasana. I can actually do Laghu, my legs are pretty strong. But it’s her teaching in Ustrasana and Dhanurasana, making me think about the tail bone and opening the chest and making space between the vertebrae that’s allowed the Kapo experiments to happen and not feel uncomfortable and the marked improvement in my dropbacks after her teaching in intermediate.
For now I’ve decided to alternate between AYL and the local studio, it’s doable until hopefully the work situation improves. Although I love AYL, I’m actually getting more of what I need at the local studio, at AYL I’m just another student passing through, one who can do it on their own and can be left alone with little or no intervention or teaching. At the local studio I’m the same student, but I think I’m seen by the teacher as a work (still) in progress as opposed to AYL where I’m a student who has got to where they are going and isn’t destined to progress any further.
The Journey of my practice 
