Just 1 Reason

Cathi wrote a post called “You might be OCD if…” in which all of the OCD of the bunch were able to gather and share their crazy similar behavior traits. Because some of them may have absolutely no idea what the home of other normal people might be like, and because I love them, this is for them! Oh yeah, and those of you with OCD might want to be sure you are safely seated somewhere sanitary, and have a bottle of hand sanitizer nearby, just for your own comfort:)

SAFETY DISCLAIMER WARNING:

You are about to enter a construction zone. There is currently work in progress. Please bare with our dust bunnies the size of cats while we continue to build a family. This process has no end in sight; therefore you are strongly cautioned before entering this home anytime before the year 2024. The process will not be complete at that time either; it will simply have the possibility that the last of the construction will be moved to other sites. Even then, they will all return on a regular basis with miniature models, and new construction will begin again. Please wear any protective gear necessary for your own safety, and be aware of the following situations that may occur at any time in any zone currently being used for this project:

*science projects (aka “dishes”) growing in the sink

*toxic waste disposals (aka “diapers”) removed from contamination containers by investigators (aka “toddlers”) and left opened on the floor

*possible shrapnel (aka “laundry”) strewn about due to protective gear sanitizer (dryer) explosion

*bait (aka “food”) left on floor, counters, tables, under chairs, in drawers, under couch cushions, in shoes and where ever else said investigators have left them to feed their imaginary friend named notme

*various construction materials left anywhere and everywhere, including but not limited to the following: legos, hot wheels cars, Barbies-dressed or not (please prepare your sons in advance), shoes, purses, princess dresses (please be prepared to bow to the Royalty should you actually encounter this in use), books, socks-living or dead, paper, crayons, frogs, play dough, and boogers

*please also take note of our state-of-the-art emergency warning system that is currently functioning in two of our most valuable, high-tech 2003 and 2006 edition models named “Lizzie” and “Katie”. Emergency drills are performed without any prior warning. They have been equipped with the ability to ward off predators of the “brother” type with the use of loud, sharp, piercing, high pitched tones. If you should hear this, please put on protective gear immediately to save yourself from imminent destruction, shock, and offense

*Also, we currently have 1992, 1998 and 2000 edition male models at the “odoriferous stinkus” process of the construction phase. It is strongly cautioned that you not enter that room at all, no way, no how, or you just might die. These models also have their own special language called “armpitfartese”. Please do not be offended if you are not able to understand and participate in their conversation. On occasion, with no consent at all from the Managers, they also speak “buttfartese” and “loudburpese”. Most people know this language; however have individual interpretations of the dialect. We are currently in the process of failing miserably at keeping these languages from becoming support beams in the construction zone, but will continue to assess the situation carefully for further possible advances

little tiny disclaimer at the bottom of every annoying disclaimer that really is the important information you really need to know but can’t read most of the time:

At any time, most times, and very possibly all of the time, “Construction Managers” may seem distracted, embarrassed, sleep deprived, imperfect, wearing mis-matched socks, having bags under their eyes, hair disheveled, or simply sitting oblivious to the war..ahem..construction zone going on around them. There is also the distinct possibility that at your arrival you will be immediately put in charge of all construction zones, with or without your consent, so said Construction Manager can run away as fast as she can up to the Decontamination Shower Chamber. This process could take up to an hour. Do not be alarmed, she has not escaped out of the bathroom window. Also do not be alarmed if you hear singing, whooping, dancing, or simply no sound at all coming from the Manager during this process. She has not died and gone to Heaven, she only feels as if she has. Reality will kick in when the hot water runs out and you will once again be free to go. Thank you for visiting! We are so glad you came!

Lizzie, after sneaking her chocolate Easter bunny

Katie, who had watched me bake a chocolate cake from scratch earlier in the day, decided she wanted to go swimming in the cocoa

Josh, Gabe and Kota- the “oderifus stinkus” editions