Tag: Work

Personalities: Don’t Give Up

Published on by LavenderLeave a comment

I was advised by my friend there are three types of people in this world:

Passionate people who are motivated to work each day, driven by challenges and dedicated to doing the utmost best within their power.

Indifferent people who don’t really mind what they are doing, working day by day on their schedule, paying their bills, expenses, gaining assets.

Cancerous people who have a hatred of their work, people, peer pressure, frustrated people, people who intentionally hurt others to rejoice in their failures and/or setbacks, negative people who always find the worst in anything.

~

My goal right now is to not only stay away from cancerous people but to keep my fire burning or glowing as my friend tells me:

“When I first met you, you know you struck me as a person who isn’t working for the pay check. You wanted to learn how to do your job well. So keep your fire burning, don’t let anything stop you. Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up. And just do the best you can.

Do you know why I say “Good morning, Good afternoon” each day? Because it’s to remind myself that I am here to serve the public, to serve the people who are in need of our services. Without them, I would not have a job.”

I remind myself to say “Good morning, Good afternoon, how are you?” to each person I see in my daily work. I remind myself not only is it respectful but courtesy to tell myself everyone deserves the attention and time given especially if they are asking for aid.

We are here to serve the people; the people (inhabitants) residing in America.

I keep telling myself I am here to better myself; to not only help others in need but to hopefully inspire others and understand we never know what tomorrow may bring.

Thanks for listening and reading. I know each and every one is truly special and unique and deserves a chance. It’s all that matters. As long as you try, and don’t give up.

Streaked Grey-Azure Horizons

Published on by Lavender2 Comments

Cloud streaked deep blue grey skies
Cover skyscrapers in the horizon.

This is my view afforded each morning during my commute to work.

Each time I see the view I am reminded over again I need to take a DSLR camera and take that magnificent skyline.

However, my camera is broken and I’ve yet to fix or replaced it.

It’s certainly a tough job being a public service worker. You understand in your heart, you are servicing the people who are in need of your services. Yet you also know and think something must have happened in their life to lead them to their dire circumstances.

You can’t help but think if only, if only they had it within their willpower, their strength. Yet the very thing I’m thinking of, I’m actually referring to is myself.

If I only did this, did that, we’ll that most certainly would never happen.

It’s useless crying over spilled milk, I’ve only begun to accept this as fact.

Expending my energy towards work I have no passion for only burns me up. Yet I’ve started to notice my current life circumstances are a continuous line which leads into my work.

It also seems as if im doomed to a life of repentance. I absolutely refuse to believe my existence as a woman is the sole sexual object of a man’s desire. Obviously, it’s nice to think and accept you’re attractive to the male species. It’s the unwarranted advances and continuous objections that flat out wear you down. The cycle continues on and on. You realize it will never stop. Yet you are trying to figure out what you life’s mission is.

Each day my mind is set on working to the best of my ability. Rinse, dry, repeat. I want so much to just leave. I’ve tried so many times. Mentally I’ve left for the past 6 years, physically I’m still here.

It’s not easy certainly. Yet it’s not impossible I understand. Sometimes I feel every I take 1 step forward, I fall 2 steps back.

The vulnerability I feel deeply at times, I burst into tears. The tears wet the corners of my eyes falling onto my cheeks. I’m crying for the hurt I’ve encountered, the pain I’ve endured, the struggle I’m still trying to overcome, the loneliness in companionship, my infrequent attempts at finding my own inner strength and passion.

Ignorance is Bliss

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Sometimes in life things are better left alone. I am reminded of a quote from my friend after a long and stressful day at work,

When they go low, you go high.

After a brief little walk around a store, I found myself staring at that quote only to see it was written by Michelle Obama.

I can’t even begin to imagine how my mental state was just a few months past. I cannot believe to pretend it never existed. How I wished at times my sadness would simply vanish and disappear into the abyss. The temptation so great to just walk out the door; walk out of my current life. The demands and drama overrode me; I began to seep deeper and deeper into nothingness. I was fed up – with myself. I knew I needed to get out. I tried and tried; but no matter what I did nothing seemed to help. I found myself creating an even deeper hole where I was slipping by each second. I was circling around each resolution only to find myself at the very same spot I wanted to eliminate myself from. Every aspect in my life was not only unbelievable but became a joke. It was my survival mechanism. My life became so unbelievable I no longer had any confidence, belief, and dignity about myself. I began to think nothing will ever change and began to wait for the death angel.

I am thankful for the new change in my life; however it does not erase all the negative in my life nor does it erase what I want in my life. We are never allotted everything in our life. Change is constant and in any moment of our lives; change is not only inevitable but something to aspire to.

I believe we should or rather I should aspire to believe that one day I am capable of doing A, B, and C. I believe one day I will no longer be financially indebted to any man. One day, I will simply disappear with paper in hand and journey out to a new road.

Me, myself, and I.

But for now, the journey is a rough, tough, and harsh one. Sometimes, we need to be ignorant in order to be in bliss.

Whoever said money doesn’t help? 😉

My intention is to focus on making the most that I possibly can to better myself.

Bittersweet

Published on by Lavender6 Comments

I hadn’t expected to feel such emotion on that day, just a few hours past.

I left on a good note and I’ll cherish the memories forever. Etched in my mind.

I was actually sad and was crying for a bit.

I suppose this is what I would feel should I take the next step with other factors in my life (husband) should I “cross the threshold” except it would be ongoing and million times more extreme.

The past few weeks of my life felt like a whirlwind courtship. Things unexpectedly occurred and all fell into place. Now I truly understand how it played into my life and why it was meant to happen.

I will learn to be more appreciative of people, life, etc. I’ve finally understand the importance of the present. Once something happens, it won’t ever return back (the way it was supposedly) and they don’t last forever. Nothing in life lasts forever. Therefore I need to take the time to be thankful and grateful when those moments come.

However, I need to bear in mind, with new territory comes “newness.” I’m a prime rib eyed steak and will most likely be for the first year. I’m starting over again.

Such a scary word, isn’t it?

“Starting over”

I might as well say I’m in transformation and due to metamorphosis anytime soon.

Hopefully this experience will give me the clarity needed to advance and evolve to the next step in my life.

I understand I’m way far behind in terms of what I want and expect out of life.

But I’m trying. I can’t rush nor can I skip either. It doesn’t work that way.

If I should past away one day, I would want to be remembered as someone who always helped others less fortunate, someone who always managed to help others in times of need, generousity, kindness, thoughtfulness, compassion, dedication, and motivation.

So I should get myself together and work on that.

How will everyone else be spending their MLK holiday (only applicable to US)?