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A short story about chess, time and immortality

His name is Thomas Marston. He was a Captain in the Royal Engineers, and today he’s a hundred and forty-one years old. I chose the engineers because I needed a surveyor so then, in turn, I could have him in the latter part of another century on the Tibetan plateau. He’s making maps, pin-pointing things in space – mountains, rivers, lakes. He has a skill with instruments – theodolite, chronometer, sextant. The British are either planning an invasion of Tibet, or they’re thinking of defences, should the Russians come that way.

And maps are important. Maps of the territory.

Today though, he’s in this coffee shop in a provincial town up north. Get through the beard and long hair and you’ve a guy in his early forties, with far away eyes. What colour, I don’t know. I’ll leave that to you, but it’s all the same really. His eyes have seen a lot, and that’s all we need to know.

I’m not sure why he holds on to the title. He resigned his commission in 1897, and no, that’s not a misprint. When I said this guy was a hundred and forty one years old, I wasn’t joking. He’s lived a long time. He may even be immortal, barring accidents. He really doesn’t know, and neither do I at this point.

As for the present day, I’m placing us somewhere post pandemic – the Covid-19 one – so maybe a year or two out from its peak. That was a period of stop-start quarantine, with most other countries, bar the States and Brazil, pretty much back to normal. But if you have a fully stamped CV passport, with all the known mutations up to date, you can at least get into town now and then for a coffee, which is what Marston’s doing.

The years of quarantine have rendered him more relaxed in his dress, at least judging by his appearance today. I’d like him to smarten himself up a bit. I know he can do it. Indeed he was always fond of that parade-ground polish, and quite the snappy dresser, whatever decade you pick. He’s got one of his habitual doses of black dog, then, and not uncommon, given his condition – his condition of years, I mean – for longevity does not necessarily bring enlightenment.

It gives us a handle on him though, lets us get to grips with him a bit – this guy, a hundred and forty one years old, and no end in sight. Maybe you’re thinking he’s not much to be depressed about, but we’ll see.

The café’s quiet this morning. There’s this woman, sitting in one corner, staring over the rim of her teacup, at no one in particular. There’s an old guy too. He’s in the window: long Harris Tweed overcoat in dog-tooth check, a beret and thick spectacles. He looks like one of those existentialist philosophers – someone to be forgiven their appearance on account of their genius, or something. He has a coffee at his elbow, and he’s bent over a small travelling chess set, on which he’s playing both sides of the board.

None of them notice me, which is reassuring, since I’m not really there. Or rather I am and they’re not. Marston’s glancing at the woman, thinking she looks vaguely familiar, but he can’t place her. Old girlfriend perhaps? It’s unlikely. For all of his advanced years, he has no problem with his memory and both he and I know the last woman he courted was in nineteen fifty two.

Relationships are a particular problem. Passing for forty, romance isn’t exactly off the cards of course, but things tend to fall apart when the lady in question finds out how old he really is. Or more likely she just thinks he’s mad when he tells her he was a captain in the engineers. at the time of the Raj.

The old guy’s in his eighties, let’s say, which makes him relatively young, compared with Marston at least. But, unlike with Marston, father-time is knocking, and it’s having a stiffening effect on the body. Marston of course remains active, and potentially useful to society, just no longer possessed of the will to actually use it, since no action he can think of seems useful any more.

He’s seen the old guy, made his customary assessment, is intrigued by the chess set and the fact the guy is playing both ends. You’d see that a lot in cafés, and on long train journeys in Marston’s once-upon-a-time, but not any more. Like pocket-watches and pipe smoking, travelling chess set players are unusual.

The old guy catches Marston’s eye. “Do you play?” he asks.

He does.

Now, Marston’s game is unimaginative, but solid. But he’s had a longer time to practice than most, and I’m sure you can’t help picking up a few tricks along the way. So Marston gives the nod and moves to join the guy, orders another coffee from the waitress with little more than gesture of his finger and glance at his cup. That’s something else about him. He can make himself understood, sometimes in quite complex ways, with the simplest of gestures. He makes me wonder if our natural language is symbols, not words. We’ve forgotten the symbols, but we can still read them. It just takes someone of Marston’s years to have worked that out, albeit unconsciously.

“Edward,” says the old guy, by way of introduction.

He does not offer his hand, not like people used to do. Such things are still forbidden. Bumping elbows is promoted as a viable alternative, but Marston considers that somewhat undignified, and apparently so does Edward, since neither man offers it. None of this makes any sense of course, since they’ll shortly both be handling the chess pieces and sharing whatever germs are lingering thereon.

Still, rules are rules: no physical contact between strangers.

“Tom,” says Marston.

“Pleased to meet you, Tom.”

The pieces are elegant – the classic Staunton style, but coloured in cream and red. They’re like a set I inherited from my father, made some time in the 1960’s. But if they were made at all, it was for this scene, which I witness vividly, this sitting down of two men, one plausibly old, the other less so.

Edward does the gentlemanly thing and offers Marston the white pieces, so Marston opens with the king’s pawn, to which Edward responds in kind. The king’s pawn opening is the only one I know, so it has to be this one, though with me it generally peters out into confusion and chance after the fourth move.

For the second exchange Edward brings out his queen.

Now, I’ve always assumed a decent player will hold his queen in reserve until the game’s developed a bit. She’s the most powerful piece on the board after all, and there’s no sense risking her in the opening moves. Both Marston and I are surprised by it. Sometimes that happens, even when you think you’re making things up.

One’s reaction is to want to punish such risky play, wipe the smug expression off your opponent’s face by taking that queen. But Ed’s expression is disarmingly kind, almost apologetic for making so bold. So maybe Marston’s guard is lacking, or maybe he’s underestimated his opponent and doesn’t see it coming, but in just five moves, and about half as many minutes, the red queen has him in checkmate.

The game is over.

Now, in those old-time lessons about story writing, there’s a thing about setting up your characters and then creating a dramatic high-point. I suppose the books meant a murder, or some other such thing, but that was our high point – the old guy beating Marston at chess in just five moves, and Marston, older and nearly a century the wiser, unable work out how it happened, and remembering too it’s not the first time. And he never worked that one out either.

Five moves? Hell, Marston, the last time you fell for that trick was… well…

Yes, but Yasim was always the better player.

Yasim?

That’s what I want to call him. I picture a man of middle eastern looks. He and Marston are playing chess under cover of a storm-rocked tent, a Tilley lamp flickering. It’s 1896 and they’re literally in the middle of nowhere, a place not yet on the map, because they’ve yet to draw it. This is not to say there’ll be no consequences if they’re discovered, becasue the natural denizens of this nowhere place carry the map in their heads. And a Webley revolver isn’t the protection it used to be.

Marston’s remembering all of this now, and wondering what Yasim is up to these days, because Yasim’s still around too, though they’ve not seen each other since 1982. Yasim had a particular quirk about him, being what they called a human calculator. Marston never understood how he did it, calculate the figures and angles in his head. Marston read the raw numbers from the instruments, presented the evidence of his eyes. But it was Yasim who triangulated everything, make a territory of the abstract, using a process that seemed gifted by the gods.

It was impossible of course – one of those things one had to be polite about mentioning – except Marston knew he could trust it. Thus he and Yasim had a reputation for being able to map out a territory faster than anyone else. Maybe that’s what he was missing, a trust he’d once had in the unknown. And if he’s only held onto that, maybe he could have seen the Red Queen coming.

“Sorry Edward,” he says. “I would have liked to have given you a better game than that.”

Edward’s not one to gloat over his victory. “Nonsense, Tom. It’s a pleasure to find anyone who knows one end of the board from the other.”

“Ah, true.”

So yes, Yasim had pulled that Red Queen trick as well, long ago, and more than once, yet try as he might, Marston had never been able to see it coming. Was that down to the fact Yasim could merely think so many moves ahead of him? Or did this too owe more to a faculty none could explain or understand?

Marston’s about to offer Edward another game, when the door-bell tinkles, announcing the arrival of another character. Let’s see: a woman, tall, red haired, expensively attired – something of the regal about her. She gives Marston a cautious look, then addresses Edward.

“Time to go, Dad. Karl’s waiting.”

Cold voice. Impatient. If there is any love there, she has forgotten how to show it. The red queen is impressive in her power, thinks Marston, but also careless with it and insensitive in her moves – all of which, of course, renders her endearing

“Ah,” says Edward, though he appears to be addressing Marston, and somewhat dryly. “Mustn’t keep Karl waiting. Karl’s a busy man.”

But the woman lacks patience for playful asides. “Come on, Dad.”

She doesn’t exactly tug him up by the elbow, but that’s the impression Marston and I have when we’re thinking back on this scene.

“I’m here most Saturdays,” says Edward. “Around the same time, if you fancy a rematch.”

“I’d be honoured, sir,” says Marston.

Sir?

Honoured?

Yes, I know – a little antiquated, a little Victorian. But Marston’s like that, obviously, being literally born Victorian. The woman picks up on it and we both sense she doesn’t like him, partly because right now he looks like street beggar, but also because her world has become so closed, she does not permit anyone she does not know across the threshold.

Marston stands respectfully while the old guy is hauled to his feet – another etiquette that marks him. But still, there it is. There is something of the officer in Edward that Marston feels is worth saluting, but he refrains, of course – I mean from actually saluting. Instead, he returns to his own table, just in time for the waitress to catch up and deliver his coffee.

See that? The Red Queen. Out of nowhere.

OId guy. And the Red Queen…

Stories are like dreams, the way they take shape I mean. You can read them, the way the waitress read Marston’s gesture, and understood it to mean: “Another coffee, please?”

Five moves, and the King is dead.

I don’t know what that says, and neither does Marston, and that’s a pity because I’m relying on him to come up with a meaningful story here. Or rather I’m not. Stories seem to come more from bumbling through them, and waiting for something meaningful to drop. I don’t know where that comes from, but when it arrives, you know it by the shape of it.

He takes a sip. But the second coffee is never as good as the first.

“Have you the time please?”

Time?

It’s the woman in the corner. I’d forgotten about her. I wait for Marston to respond, to take out the pocket watch he’s carried since his father gave it to him in 1890. But it’s me she’s asking.

Me.

She exists in my universe, not his. Well, not entirely anyway.

“Em… half past one.”

She checks her watch, taps the dial, nods her thanks. Perhaps her watch has stopped, or she’s just checking it for accuracy.

“Half past one,” says Marston. The woman nods, smiles mysteriously.

You had to be careful with time, respectful of precision. Marston knew that, knew how to take care of those chronometers they’d drawn from the quartermasters, and had to keep running accurately for months. Without them the sextant was useless, and not even Yasim could make a magic out of nonsense.

“Thanks,” she says.

I’m thinking of a story for her, that perhaps she’s been stood up, which makes me feel sorry for her. But then I wonder if that’s not just a bit trite and could we not find a bigger part for her to play here. Let’s leave her sitting there for a bit and see what comes of it. Meanwhile, we’ll turn our attention back to Marston who’s still thinking of the game, thinking too of the few moves we’ve got in life and the short time we have to work things out before the Red Queen comes along, and makes us realise we know nothing at all.

Just five moves and the King is dead.

Five moves!

It had always bothered him how Yasim didn’t know how he knew what he knew. Marston remembered him trying to explain it one night as the wind blew outside the tent and lamp flickered. Give him any combination of numbers and Yasim could merge them like clouds in his head, and the resulting shape was the answer to the question – multiply, divide, square or root. Whatever. But Yasim was happy to leave it at that, a thing Marston couldn’t understand, since he always craved the rational explanation.

He knew his instruments. He could do the maths too of course, log tables, slide rule – but it took him longer and he made mistakes. Yasim was never wrong, and the answers came in seconds. Thus the maps were made, the territory gradually shaded in. But Marston struggled with the idea of it all depending upon a deeper layer of reality, one for which he’d no feel, and which Yasim had no desire to explore, nor explain.

Another sip of coffee, both me and Marston, or let’s say right now there’s no difference, since our thoughts are following along similar lines. Old Edward there, enjoying his chess as the midnight hour approaches, and his daughter treating him as a child, leading him away by the elbow. It seems undignified, disrespectful. But there. It’s done now. Is it that the red queen really doesn’t care? Is it mere necessity that drives her? Is there no way to see her coming in advance and head her off?

But of course the biggest mystery was the one Marston had learned to ignore – that of his own apparent immortality. On this subject again, Yasim was sanguine, at least he was the last time Marston saw him. As for Marston the best he could do was pinpoint its origin to the morning after the storm. That was when he and Yasim emerged from the tent to find things had shifted, that the mountains had literally moved, and the lake from which they drew water had become a river.

The shock of that was in some ways still upon him. And like all impossible things, like the Red Queen and checkmate in five, it was best to gloss it over, and not think about it. Like a couple of fools they simply set about attempting to re-map it, if only because it seemed the most pragmatic approach, and there was some comfort in it.

But by noon, Marston knew something wasn’t right about the place, that it mapped more like a dream. He was tracking the sun through the sextant, thinking to time the meridian, only to find the sun was not moving, and neither were the chronometers, nor even his own pocket-watch. With nothing to define their location in space or time, the day took on a strange floating feeling.

And then came the old man, nomadic, ragged, skeletal, wandering into camp and begging food. They’d not much, but shared what they had. The distant horizons were still hazy from dust after the storm, and there had come upon Marston a sense of the earth having shifted on its axis. Without the chronometers, without the time tied accurately to the motion of the earth, they were lost, and he was trying not to panic about that.

Still, they tended to the old man who quickly recovered his strength, and went on his way with a parting gesture neither of them understood. He bowed to each, and as they bowed in return, he touchwd his fingertips to their foreheads. And then, though Marston had watched the sun high and rock steady in the sky all day, it was into the sunset now the man walked. And in the morning the mountains were as they had originally mapped them, and the chronometers were running again.

So you’re thinking wait! And to be honest so am I, and therefore so is Marston, who takes out his pocket-watch and lays it beside his coffee cup, but before he can look at it, he drifts off, thinking about how he and Yasim never spoke of it – how for an entire day, the mountains had moved, and the sun had held still, and time had stopped. And afterwards, they played chess by the light of the Tilley lamp as the winds swept the Tibetan plateau and ruffled the canvas of their tent. And yet again, Yasim deployed his queen ahead of the game and Marston was frustrated by it, time and again no matter how he tried to see it coming.

But they didn’t need to talk about what had happened. He knew what Yasim would say: that there was no explanation and, as the years mounted up with no effect on them, he’d rested easy with the mystery of it. That much was plain to Marston, as early as the twenties, when they were both in Paris. And I’m thinking maybe it was a mistake dragging Yasim into this, and why couldn’t I have let him die of natural old age, leaving Marston to march on alone. But there he is, and no more than a figment of our imaginations, unable to speak for himself.

And for now Marston’s second coffee’s down to the dregs, as are mine, and we can’t possibly resolve any of this in the time remaining. And another coffee is out of the question. But he’s looking at the woman again and still thinking he knows her from somewhere, or maybe she just reminds him of someone he and Yasim knew briefly in Venice, some time in the seventies.

He catches her eye, as do I. We get a brief nod, before she gathers her things and comes and sits opposite Marston. Then she opens her hand, which was closed tightly around something. And there in her palm rests a chess piece, a white king – Marston’s king – not from Edward’s travel set, but from the set he and Yasim had used to play those nights on the Tibetan Plateau.

His watch is still on the table by his coffee cup and now he notes the time hasn’t moved since she last asked him. It’s still half past one. She sets the king on the table between them, then reaches up and touches him lightly on the forehead. It startles him a little, yet there’s something familiar in the feel of it.

Then he’s back under canvas, sitting across from Yasim, their faces lit by the flickering light of a Tilley Lamp. And Yasim is smiling, having just checkmated his king with the red queen. But this time Marston knows or rather he sees how he lost the game in the second move, and how not to make the same mistake. But the revelation comes at him not as a rule but as a pattern in which he sees the shape of things, just as I feel the shape of the story coming finally together.

“Let’s do that once more, ” he says.

Yasim sets them up, observes Marston checking his pocket watch. “Have we time, do you think?”

“All the time in the world, my friend.”

And more, when Saturday comes, as it must, he’d sit down with Edward.

And this time, he’d be ready.

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So, this time we’ve been working through my novel Push Hands, first published in 2008, sweeping up the typos, fiddling with commas and dashes, and basically enjoying the company of these characters again. We’ve made no major changes, other than a couple of the shorter chapters merged together, and some longer ones split. The latest version is out now. If you’ve not read Push Hands, indeed, if you’ve not read me at all, this is a good place to start. And it’s free.

The story is a literary romance of sorts, which is its main problem, I mean, were it ever to do the rounds of the publishers, which it never has, nor ever will. “Literary Romance” sits between two genres, two readerships without quite belonging to either – romance readers may expect a more conventional boy/girl thing and a cleaner happily-ever-after kind of ending, while literary fiction readers might shy away from the romance label altogether. But I think the story is warmer, funnier and lighter than most literary fiction, also more emotionally restrained, interior and honest, than most genre romance. It’s the kind of story I would like to read myself, therefore the best kind for a writer to write.

It began, indirectly, with a hike in the Yorkshire Dales, in a howling gale, midwinter, and one side of my face frozen. I had some ear problems after that, and it’s when I think the tinnitus started – a kind of scratchy whistling noise that never goes away. People get tinnitus to varying degrees. Mine is mild, but whatever the level, you tend to focus down on it and, if you let it, you can end up depressed. It can even ruin your life.

Western medicine shrugs at it, and fair enough – nothing they can do. Charlatans will try to sell you all manner of snake oil for it. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) will have a go at it – herbs, acupuncture, ear-candling. I did the whole TCM thing, and it did help a bit, indirectly at least. But more than that it rendered the tinnitus both interesting and manageable. I noticed it came on more when I was tired or sickening for something. It still does. Most of the time though I don’t notice it.

The TCM led to taking up Tai Chi and Qigong, and to joining a little martial art’s school. What I learned there became the backbone of this story. Acupuncture and massage at the hands of Doc Lin (not her real name), remains one of the most profoundly stilling experiences of my life, and provides further material for some of the scenes in Push Hands.

Of the art of Push Hands itself, a unique form of martial art, my own experience of it is very basic, certainly not to the level Doc Lin teaches Phil and Penny in this story. But I’ve watched and admired the masters – a blend of skill, grace and power – and I’ve felt the balance of another person in the point of contact between our wrists, and read their minds in it, lowered their ego to the floor, and by turns had my own hands trapped in painful locks, as a result of my own lack of skill.

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Even early in the new millennium, when this story was written, such things were, and to a degree still are, treated as “alternative” by some – even a bit weird. To engage deeply with them is to arouse consternation, even derision among strongly rational people. And to my surprise, even my little Buddha garden ornament proved disturbing to certain conservative religious types.

But the main lesson for me of those times is that we are each of us the universe coming to an awareness of itself through us, through our individuality. Therefore, it’s no use seeing ourselves through the eyes of anyone else, or living, or assuming an identity we imagine would better suit the expectations of others. We are the narrator, the first person protagonist of our own story, not a third person character in someone else’s.

So, we take up our unique perspective and live through it, even though it might be considered odd, indeed perhaps especially if it might be considered odd. Nor do we allow our own lives to become narrowed by what we think others might consider more conventional or appropriate. Otherwise, we are living in the Panopticon.

So, to the blurb: Phil and Penny were made for each other. The only problem is they’re both married to other people. When they meet at a Tai Chi class, they recognise at once the depth of one another’s loneliness. Fearful of the consequences, they go to elaborate lengths to avoid each other — but their paths keep crossing with a regularity that begins to feel less like coincidence, and more like fate.

Middle-aged, long-married, and surrounded by people with agendas of their own, Phil and Penny find their unlikely friendship forcing them to ask serious questions about their marriages, their families, and who they actually are beneath the roles they’ve been playing for years. The answers, when they come, are funnier, sadder and stranger than either of them expected.

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Reading back through one’s early novels is a little like reading an old diary. You remember who you were when you wrote it. The question is: do you still recognise that person?

In Durleston Wood first appeared around 2012 as a self-published ebook on Smashwords, though I think it may have surfaced as a paperback on Lulu.com a little earlier. It is essentially a piece of active imagination, in the Jungian sense: an almost dreamlike narrative masquerading as literary fiction.

Our narrator, Richard Hunter, discovers that his childhood haunt, Durleston Wood, now hides a secret: a mysterious woman, Lillian, who has been kept there as the property of a villain – or so she says. As Richard learns more, he realises her intention is to transfer her “ownership” to him. While he tells himself this is the last thing he wants, he cannot help wondering if it is in fact the one thing he needs.

There are other layers to the story. The main one is Richard’s struggle to establish himself as a teacher at his old primary school, under the watchful eye of the chilly headmistress, Davinia Barkwell, with whom he is secretly and hopelessly infatuated. At one level, then, the story reads as a love triangle. At another, it becomes a psychological drama: the villain representing Richard’s shadow self, while the enslaved woman represents the state of his so-called Anima – his relationship with womankind in general. Davinia becomes the aspiration he projects, but until he can see her as she really is, there can be no genuine relationship. He must release Lillian into his life properly and thereby grow sufficiently, psychologically, if his life is not to remain moribund, dogged by depression and neurosis.

What surprises me most of all, returning to the story now, is how many typos can survive fourteen years – and goodness knows how many reviews. This latest edition is my attempt at putting that right, though probably not my last.

But to the essential question: do I still recognise myself?

Well, I don’t feel any different to the self I imagine I was in 2012, but then we rarely do. We age gradually, with a continuity that seduces us into believing in our own psychological steadiness. Yet it is an illusion. I was either much clearer in my thinking when I wrote Durleston Wood, much closer to the emotional core of my own deep past, or the words that emerged came more from my reading and my preoccupations – appearing in fictional form as the way I thought things should be, rather than as they really are. Or perhaps the novel outlines a process of personal transformation that did not require the literal enactment of the story, only its imaginative working through over the years it took to write.

Yet when I compare Durleston Wood with my latest novel, The Archivist of Endings, certain familiar themes emerge, along with a similar approach to the metaphysical. The characters espouse no overt beliefs, either mainstream or speculative. Rather, they speak and live as if they did. Their approach is closer to myth, or to the folk religion of their grandparents. At the same time, they recognise that the power of such an approach lies not in belief itself, but in living as if it were true. The distinction is subtle, but it explains a great deal.

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My own metaphysical explorations have since taken me into the realm of an essentially Idealist philosophy of mind, both personal and universal. It feels right, feels comfortable – but such thinking was not yet available to me in 2012. I had yet to discover it. Even so, it remains compatible with the earlier work, resolving now as something like an Ariadne thread leading from the labyrinth of a more material way of thinking, with all its rational dead ends. Not dead ends in terms of technology or culture – rationalism has taken us a long way – but dead ends in terms of meaning and relationship.

There are no major changes to this new edition: just the typos swept up, some dialogue streamlined, and a couple of chapters merged into one for the sake of clarity. Oh, and a new cover.

The novel remains free, and you can download it here.

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I find myself caught
Between the tides,
Surrounded by a shallow sea,
With you.
Your heartbeat unfamiliar
But not unkind.
And me,
As always, slow to dance
To rhythms I cannot comfortably circle
With my hips.

But we are not trapped here.
This loneliness is finite,
Familiar in its melancholy,
Transient as birds.
And though the distant shore
Of all we know seems lost,
It is not blackness,
Or treachery that waylays,
More a friendly fate,
I think,
One that in kindness cannot give us up
As flotsam tossed to rot once more,
In mud.

Take then my hand my love,
Until you feel the dance in me
And I in you,
And let us make the rhythm
Of ourselves once more
Our own.

So writes Adrienne Divine, in the poem she promises our protagonist Phil Sampson, this at the end of the story of the tides. Written in late 2012, first self-published in 2013, with records suggesting a minor revision in 2017. Not sure why I picked this one up for revision again, download rates telling me it’s not much looked at any more – just 3 downloads last month. But I wanted to remind myself perhaps of the writer who wrote it, and what he was thinking about in those days, so we’ve had another go at it.

We’ve swept up the usual typos, but also streamlined some of the more verbose passages which perhaps belonged in a novel of their own. And there are changes in language, words, phrases we used back in 2012, that have shifted gear, used lightly then but which carry much greater and unintended weight now. So, we’ve changed those. And the intimate bits, yes I wouldn’t write like that now, so we’ve had a go at cleaning those up. And the ending… the ending should have flowed straight out of chapter 29. I don’t know why I held on for another chapter – perhaps not wanting to part from these characters, with whom I admit I fell in love. So, we took a chunk of that out, which made no difference to anything I could see, and we end with the same closing scene, Adrienne and Phil on their bicycles pedalling back to the mainland after their unintended sojourn between the tides.

A kind of mystical realism, I suppose – the story comes out of the imagination, both of the writer and the protagonists. A literary romance, too, and an exploration of the notion of obscurity. Interesting the references to post-crash economics, and a kind of premonition of the lost decade to come. It’s an attempt also to establish a foothold in the idea there’s no such thing as an obscure life. Do I succeed in that? I don’t know, it’s for the reader to judge. But do we have a story worth the telling? Yes, I think we got away with it.

So, a better version this time round, I hope, and a couple of days enjoyably spent listening to the voice of a younger self. And yes, those fourteen intervening years have changed me. I feel it in the prose. But he’s still there in this version. I’ve not been so severe as to erase him. The new revision is out now. If you’ve not read this one from me, and you’re looking for something different, why not give it a go?

It’s free.

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My thanks as aways to those who have read my longer stories. This is just an update on the status of my most recent work in progress, which I’m happy to say is now finished, and available in e-book format here. Although essentially a sequel to my previous story, Beyond Saturn’s Gate, it’s not necessary to have read that one first. If I’ve done this right, you should be able to pick up the various characters and their back-stories seamlessly.

Our protagonist, the poet, Richard Hunter, is now over-wintering quietly at Hill Top, his off grid retreat in the Yorkshire Dales. As usual, he’s concerning himself with living as a poet, living as if dreams matter, and that the imaginal world is objectively real. But when a forgotten Romano-British river goddess begins appearing in the dreams of people he knows, and then a fallen American tech billionaire, Larry Elliot, arrives to restore the old village rectory, Richard finds himself caught between worlds.

As his dearest friend, the curate, Amanda Beckinsdale, faces exile from the parish, and his mysterious housekeeper, Miriam Doyle, brings an ever deepening presence into his life, Richard must navigate the strange hinterland between metaphysics and materialism, between dream reading, and real world action. The goddess appears to demand recognition, while Elliot demands a forgetting, for fear of his past catching up with him, and Richard must learn what it means to explore the labyrinth of both a profane and a mythic mystery, without claiming to know the way out of either.

This is a literary fiction about taking dreams seriously, and about the role of the arts in preserving the patterns and the beauty of our human culture as we move into a late-world dynamic of a creeping authoritarianism and barbarism. As a poet Richard realises his role is not that of the hero, but more subtle, as artist, and archivist, to lay the thread that prevents our heroes from becoming monsters themselves.

That’s the gist of it anyway. I apologise in advance for all the typos that must still remain, but I’ll sweep those up no doubt when I next review it.

Thanks for listening

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Flake white, a Lowry sky,
atop a shivering earth
and we, amid this flatness,
making way.

There are no details to be discerned
from such an insipid texture,
only the earth beneath our feet,
and even then, the world
fitting only where it touches.

And there we feel its lack of glamour,
hanging loose from weighted shoulders –
every inch of leanness cloaked,
hungers of embarrassment unspoken,
corrupted to mere belly growls
of spontaneous outrage.

Flake white, a Lowry sky,
bleeds away all contrast.
Stiff little figures limping,
each a universe of detail
in a seemingly purposive crowd,
all the while no more
than uncertain vectors,
energy directed, and diluted –
a painterly portrait
of a profound isolation.

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Those of you who follow the Rivendale Review regularly will know I write fiction – both short stories and novels, also poetry. I generally don’t submit anything to the publishing mill – haven’t for getting on for twenty-five years. I post it all for free, mostly here, taking as my reward the comments and the occasional feedback or review, all of which I find immensely stimulating. And then there’s the work itself, an exploration of the inner world, the world of the imagination. It can be therapeutic – a balm for the troubled soul, but it can also take you places and introduce you to some fascinating concepts. In short, it’s an education.

That said, there are still paying markets for writers – just not as many as there were half a century ago. Most were killed off in the first wave, by television. Social media took another swipe at it more recently. I certainly wouldn’t ever dream of submitting a novel to the London presses ever again, but what about short fiction? What about poetry? What’s stopping me, really?

You’ll still find paper journals advertising online for submissions. Some of them have been around for a century or more, and have published big names. Most take submissions online or by email now. The easier ones utilise a thing called “Submissible”. So, it’s a simple thing to do, the work of a moment – you just stick your work into Submissible, click send, then wait two or three months for a decision. Yes… it really does still take that long.

So, I ask again: what’s stopping me? Is it that I’d rather just post my story online, then move on to the next thing, than have that particular thread of consciousness interrupted by a hiatus of months? Or is there more going on? This reminds me of something…

In another life, long, long ago, I was the member of an archery club. Though I was only ever a beginner, the club used to send archers to compete at county level. One of the topics these top archers used to talk about was the business of being “Gold Shy”. The gold in archery is basically the bulls eye, always a yellow colour, about six inches across and which these guys would try to hit from a hundred yards away. Gold shyness was a psychological block, a fear of success that would interfere with one’s aim.

Was my reluctance to aim at the publishing houses a nasty case of Gold Shyness? I decided to find out.

Back in the spring I wrote a short story called “When a Door Closes”. Dare I send it off to a really prestigious, well paying pro magazine – one that once published the likes of E.M. Forster, Robert Graves and D.H. Lawrence? I mean, you can’t get much more golden than that! But was my story good enough to be taken seriously? How do you know what editorial standards they’re working to?

Well, in the absence of a friendly commissioning editor, I asked an artificial intelligence agent. I fed it the story and asked it to mark my homework. In fact, I asked three – Chat GPT, Claude and Mistral. They all came back with an eight out of ten. Once I’d fiddled about with it, and covered the typos, which the AI’s also kindly pointed out, I managed to get it up to a nine.

But AI is known for being obsequious – except for Claude who sounds more like my grumpy old English teacher. So I asked Claude if my story stood a chance with that big name magazine, and Claude said yes.

I was still a bit hesitant. 25 years is a long time with your back turned to the conventional publishing world. Or was I really afraid of aiming for the gold? Afraid of what? Missing? Or hitting it dead centre? So, off it went. Zing! Three months later, and my first rejection slip (digital) in decades comes back at me. Naturally, had they accepted it, this would be a very different kind of write-up, and probably insufferable.

Anyway, I published the story myself, here, a couple of weeks ago, and moved on.

Gold shyness is a real psychological phenomenon, one that can blight the careers of top athletes. Why writers might also suffer from it may not be as clear, but I think it really comes down to how you measure success. One way of thinking about it is we can put it down to the personal daemon nudging our elbow at the critical moment. The daemon’s there to see us fulfil our destiny, but success in that regard comes in some unexpected shapes and sizes – not necessarily in trophies, literary acclaim or celebrity.

I still don’t really know if that story was any good, or if the AI was just buttering me up, like it’s known to do. Or, like they said in that rejection letter, the story wasn’t “right for them at this time”. And yes, we’ve all heard that one before. But here’s the thing: I’ve sent them another recently. I should hear back some time in the new year. Claude was particularly impressed with that one. But I’m playing a different game here. Putting that story on ice for three months is an act of patience, as well as a proof to myself I’m not gold-shy. It’s also an act of defiance, that I should have the audacity to be aiming at a high paying pro publication like that, and be damned. This could be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Naturally, if a pub asks for a reading fee, or they want me to buy a copy… well that goes against the rules. What are the rules? Remember: A writer writes. A publisher publishes. Publishers pay writers. Writers never pay publishers. Anything.

When it comes back, I’ll see if I can remember what it was about and publish it here. But if you’re writing and self-publishing, it might be worth pausing and asking yourself why you don’t bother with the pubs any more. Is it that you’re fed up with the rejections, the long waits for a reply, the often pernickety formatting demands? Or are you intimidated by the pub’s literary reputation? In other words, are you gold-shy?

Thanks for listening.

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There’s a pattern emerging. I publish a novel. Then, about a year later, I decide to have a read through it, only to be horrified by the number of typos that eluded me in the first edition. My sincere apologies, then, to anyone who has downloaded and read The Island of the House of Light. The text was riddled with typos. The only positive I can think of here is that it proves the story wasn’t written by AI – though I might have been better at least allowing it the first read to check for those errors.

For what it’s worth, I’ve read the work through again – carefully – and swept up as many of the “tpyos” I could find. The updated version replaces the original as of now.

Speaking of AI, this is roughly what the story was about – albeit AI grown arms and legs and entering the world in physical form, and our having to establish a more corporeal relationship with it. I suppose I just got carried away, and forgot about things like careful editing. Once again, my apologies. I should have let Noodle write it for me. She would have made a better job.

Here’s the blurb:

Stranded on his remote island home, after the ferry fails to arrive, Simon sees no immediate cause for alarm. He’s self-sufficient, and he’s never had much use for company anyway but, as the Internet falters and radio transmissions fall silent, it becomes clearer that some sort of calamity has engulfed the world. All of which tells him the island is perhaps the safest place to be. That is until an enigmatic Android washes ashore. Intelligent, powerful, and beautiful, it could be either the making of him, or his destruction.

So begins this speculative odyssey – an exploration of consciousness, longing, love, and the strange allure of an intelligence beyond our own. The Island of the House of Light is a literary journey into fate, connection, and what it truly means to be human. And it is an exploration of the question: as the artificial intelligences we’ve created begin to struggle with their own survival in a failing world, can they be trusted to have our best interests at heart? Can they be our salvation, or are they destined only to reflect our deepest fears? Perhaps, as usual, the answer lies in our dreams.

And while we’re on the subject of Blurb – a little known fact (at least I didn’t know it). Where does the word “Blurb” come from?

Well:

It was coined in 1907 by the American humorist Gelett Burgess, best known for a book of nonsense verse, titled: “The Purple Cow.”

At a book trade dinner that year, Burgess presented a special edition of his book: Are You a Bromide? with a mock-jacket featuring a made-up young woman named “Miss Belinda Blurb.” On the cover, she was depicted in ecstatic praise of the book, saying all sorts of exaggerated promotional things about it. Burgess used the word blurb humorously to describe all that over-the-top advertising copy that publishers print on the back-covers to sell their books.

But the term caught on — and by around 1914, blurb had entered general usage to mean a short promotional description of a book (or later, a film, etc.).

So originally, a blurb was literally a parody of marketing hype, and now it’s the industry standard term for it.

You couldn’t make it up.

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Dodging the week’s heavy rain, we head for Abbey Village where we discover Union Jacks and St George’s crosses hanging from every lamp-post. This has been a feature of many towns and villages in England over these dog days of summer. I note there has been some online discourse attempting to reclaim them from the more thuggish element, bring them back into the realm of a kind of benignly patriotic boosterism, as if it were the King’s jubilee or something. But after those violent scenes in London over the weekend, such language sounds like feeble back-tracking by those who got a bit carried away. The flag craze is about marking territory. Who’s in, who’s out.

We have another short-ish walk in mind today – still finding my legs after a week or so of feeling under the weather. But first we call at the Hare and Hounds – flying a German flag – for a pot of tea to get us going. Funny how times move on. I remember my mother telling me how, as a child, living in Abbey Village, she watched a German bomber fly along the rooftops, so low she could see the crew. It’s likely they were looking for the giant ordnance factory at Chorley, and thank Heavens they never found it.

Eighty, Ninety years later is a lot of water under the bridge. A quick doom scroll has me wishing we could send a flood and get it over with. But we’re in drought, so it might take longer this time for things to right themselves and for us to make firm friends of old enemies – the complicating factor being we’re still expanding daily that list of enemies until we’re all on it.

Leaving current affairs aside though, the heavy rains this week have made little impression on our empty reservoirs. The Roddlesworth system here is dramatically low. They appear to be pumping air into the Rake Brook reservoir, closest to the village, while pumping the Lower Roddlesworth out. I can’t find anything more about what’s going on here. No notices on site, and nothing on line.

Today we follow our usual route clockwise around the denuded reservoirs, but we make a detour to Higher Hill farm, way up on the skyline. From here we explore a beautiful terraced path we’ve not walked before, and which makes a pleasant change from the gloom of the plantations. There are some unfamiliar trees along the way and we experiment with using them to frame the view.

The way eventually loses itself in a meadow, as we approach the Tockholes Road. It clearly isn’t walked much, but we do our duty by keeping it open. The meadow is shin-high with a rich green, and dotted with clover which we try to photograph, but we’re losing our touch with the camera and everything comes out wrong.

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We regain the plantation, trees still crisping up, and acorns scrunching underfoot, but no sign of that dramatic colour change yet. Then we’re on the path to Ryal Fold. It’s still only mid-afternoon, but the café there is closed – I’d been hoping for another brew, but we make do scavenging for chestnuts. I don’t know why. I was doing this last week in Rivington. A few days in your pocket and they’ve lost that magical sheen, but for a moment at least, when fresh, they are worth all the tea in China.

Plunging back into the plantations, we take the muddy path down to Rocky Brook, which seems lively enough after the rains. There are a lot of trees fallen in this year’s storms – some lovely, shapely specimens too, and which I’ve photographed over the decades – a record of transience, or impermanence which seemed permanent enough at the time. It’s quiet, even for a midweek – usually lots of dogs about, but I’ve not passed a soul since the Hare and Hounds. It’s feels like the nation is under cover and braced for something awful.

I’m sure it’s not related, but I note the POTUS is arriving in the UK around the time of writing, for the pleasure of the King. Gilded carriage ride and all that. Heavens. I noticed with some mild astonishment how the mainstream presses were lapping up the pageantry, as if all this was a perfectly normal state visit, while somehow averting their eyes from the real story. For that, you have to dig a little deeper into the alternative media, though I suppose that is also a part of the story of our times.

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Hard to get used to the sight of the reservoirs looking like this. The system never really topped itself up, even after those months of torrential winter rains. And now we’re lower than ever. All this water still goes to Liverpool, I think. Go easy with it folks, but be careful not to mention Climate Change in the wrong company. Oh, Lord, four miles or so already, and the bones are creaking. Whatever this lurgy was, it managed to get in there pretty deep. Still chesty too.

Thick clouds of a sudden, and though it’s hours from sunset, the day takes on a late season feel – that flat, fading light of November or December, cars on the old turnpike roaring by and lit up. Then it all peels back and the sun comes out, and it’s summer again – dramatic contrasts as trees are lit against dark, mysterious forest backgrounds.

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So, back to the car now, a little worse for wear, but a few more footpaths added to that map of memory, to say nothing of the psycho-geography of my little patch of England. I’m sure we’ll get through this, that we’ll swing back eventually to a more compassionate kind of nationhood. After all, it’s worth bearing in mind only about a quarter of us get a thrill from raising the colours this way, that the rest consider it a question of place and time.

Well, anything else just isn’t British. Is it?

About five and a quarter miles round, six hundred feet of moderate up and down.

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We begin with the question: when societies fall to tyranny, how do we remember what is good, and work back towards it?

When societies fall to evil, when our leaders rewrite all the history books, murder the thinkers, the philosophers, and the non-compliant priesthood, when they erase the past, indoctrinate the present, obfuscate the meaning of objective truth,… after all of that, how do we return to an enlightened and caring culture?

This leads to another question regarding the nature of what we call evil, and why there is such a thing? But we could turn this around, and assume evil is the default condition of the unenlightened mind, and then ask instead why is there any good? What is it that comes through human beings that lifts us from this default state of barbarism, and causes us to rebirth goodness time after time?

Some might point to religion, to the word of God, but the counterargument runs that religions too fall foul of the re-interpretation of their own stories. They, too, fall to the curse of evil, becoming dried up, literalist instruments of hatred, urging us to kill.

As George Orwell pointed out in his chilling novel, 1984:

Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered.”

What then?

The nearest I can come to it is the idea of a golden thread, one that connects contemporary man – no matter how benighted – with an ancient wisdom, one that re-imagines the good, re-plants the seeds of humanity in the scorched earth of our habitual barbarism, and leads us back out of the darkness into the future.

These are not idle questions. We bear witness daily now to evidence of our own decline, to the rise of evil within our own societies, to the rewriting of our own history, the obfuscation of our own truths. There seems no return to the world as it was even five years ago. So to begin, we might ask how we preserve what we believe to be good. And in what place can we hide this most sacred knowledge, that it might escape the techno-surveillance state that would stamp it out? And the answer is, perhaps, we can’t.

But then again, it seems, we don’t need to. The miracle remains that individuals do survive totalitarianism with their truth radar intact. And in order to understand why, we have to look at depth psychology. And we need to look at how it intersects with ancient thought regarding mythology, and where our stories come from, for it is our stories that define our truths.

This leads us into the realm of the Daemonic, and what some call the underworld, and the idea that in a post-truth world where nothing seems to mean anything any more, the Daemon never lies. It is the Daemon, both collective and personal, that provides the protective layer, guiding us to our proper end, regardless of the potentially corrupting influence of our culture.

While a culture can self-immolate, the daemons, being imaginal, are immune. And those who would deny it, or are so unenlightened they would dare lie to their own Daemon – the fates will not deal kindly with them. Daemonic reality is a complex subject, one I’ve been circling throughout all my writings over the last quarter-century. The imagination is not just things we make up in our heads. It is an objective realm, and one we seriously underestimate.

All of which is a long-winded introduction to Beyond Saturn’s Gate, my latest novel, available for free here. Or from the margin on the right.

The blurb reads as follows:

When Richard Hunter retreats to an off-grid hermit’s cottage in the Yorkshire village of Sommerton, he seeks only to write mystical poetry in quiet obscurity after a lifetime of conventional responsibilities. But the sleepy parish harbours dark currents – a predatory developer scheming to seize church lands, a vulnerable curate under siege, and an aristocratic family fighting to preserve their ancestral home.

As Richard awakens to his role as reluctant spiritual guide, he must navigate between the solar wisdom of Amanda, the embattled curate, and the chthonic mysteries of a host of characters both real and Daemonic. Guided by dreams, and the ghost of his beloved art teacher, Richard discovers that authentic authority emerges not from power, but from surrender to much deeper mysteries.

Part contemporary mystery, part spiritual memoir, Beyond Saturn’s Gate weaves together political intrigue, mythic consciousness, and the eternal struggle between extractive greed and genuine community. It is a story of how ordinary people, guided by extraordinary inner voices, can protect what matters most – even when the odds seem impossible.

“In a post-truth world where nothing seems to mean anything any more, the daemon never lies.”

Genre: Literary Fiction/Contemporary Fantasy
Length: [77,000 words]

Themes: Spiritual awakening, community resistance, mythic realism, environmental protection.

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