This is your chance to escape. Shake the leash, break the chain. Run, fly. Explore the world. And live life. Go for it! I’ll just be back here looking for a stick or something to jam in the latch so that shit doesn’t happen again.
Mike is happy.
Relatively.
Monthly Archives: December 2011
Okay, everybody, let’s go. Hands in. “Fuck you, Jerry Sandusky” on three: 1… 2… 3…
Fuck you, Jerry Sandusky, for forcing me to have this conversation with my blissfully-naive son whose biggest concern was why anyone would want to touch anyone else’s penis. Like, ever.
Fuck you, Jerry Sandusky, for making me think twice before hugging my 5th grade point guard who brought me a big plate of Christmas cookies, or saying “I love you” to my power forward with a heart the size of all outdoors.
Fuck you, Jerry Sandusky, for tarnishing the best football helmet ever. (And fuck you, too, University of Maryland for that NASCAR-court-jester uniform you’ve got going on down there.)
And now that we’ve said it and the guy is going to rot in prison and the other one in Syracuse and everyone like him will all be going to hell, let’s all go back to a time when our biggest concern was me not giving your kid enough playing time, thank God.
And fuck you, Jerry Sandusky.
Mike is happy. 
