October | 2017 | Mike is happy.

#fatheroftheyear

While walking the dog this morning, I passed a neighborhood home where I spied the idyllic little family – husband, wife and child – sitting down together for a civilized breakfast around the dining room table.

Minutes earlier, I’d stood over the toaster inhaling two strips of microwaved turkey bacon while waiting for the Eggos to pop up so I could shove them into my kids’ mouths as they ran out the door with their shoes untied.

(And yes, as I passed the home of the Family of the Year, I did mumble to myself, “assholes.“)

Mike is happy.

Relatively.

Monthly Archives: October 2017

Baseball Fan Has Seisure, Tim Tebow Sits and Prays With Him Until Paramedics Arrive; In Other Christian News, Hundreds Wear “Lock the Bitch Up” T-Shirts in Support of Misogynistic, Hate-Mongering Presidential Candidate

Happy Take-Your-Imaginary-Friend-to-School Day.

While eating Peantbutter Cheerios out of a Ziplock bag and humming the theme to the Mary Tyler Moore show, I can’t help but think, I really have made it after all.

Call me old fashioned but I find it really inappropriate when 84 year-old Larry King brings his eighth wife to baseball games on a school night.

If I’d put as much time and effort into my studies as I do figuring out new microwave button combinations, I might have amounted to something.

#fatheroftheyear