NEW VENDING MACHINE RULES
(effective 3/1/18)
- Please use exact change when possible.
- Canadian quarters are acceptable, though only for Maple Skittles®.
- No “vaping” the Potato Stix®, Kevin.
- Starting Friday, you must show valid ID to purchase Big Texas Cinnamon Roll®.
- They’re not Poop Tarts®. Stop calling them that. Grow up.
- Clear eyes, full hearts, Big Texas Cinnamon Roll®.
- Building Management has requested all Doritos® and Cheetos® brand snack products be removed from the machine on account of the orange fingerprints everywhere and this is why we can’t have nice things, Kevin.
- Just get the damn cinnamon roll already.
Mike is happy. 
