Also, damn you, Mr. Welles, for starting all this “fake news” stuff.
Mike is happy.
Relatively.
Monthly Archives: October 2018
For about fifteen seconds, I couldn’t remember where to find the exclamation point on the keyboard, which makes me – at once – both old and a really good writer who never needs punctuation to convey emotion, motherfuckers.
(And yet I’m not really sure if those dashes are right up there. And did I need to say “at once” AND “both?” So yeah, never mind.)
Now is that kind of language really necessary?
The president is ruining the way we all write. And I, for one, refuse to stand for it. Sad.
You see it every day, just about everywhere. Especially on social media:
Sentence. Another sentence. Maybe even one more sentence. Single word.
OMG you guys, we’re all doing it. From the press to regular writer-types like you and me. In fact, I saw you do it just yesterday on Facebook when you posted about how Keven got that new job and it was about damn time after all those years of working for those ungrateful bastards and why does he spell his name with that second e? Weird.
It’s eroding who we are as writers. As a nation. (But mostly just the writing part.)
So starting today – starting now – we stop. Deal? Who’s with me? Together, we can do it. Let’s take this pledge:
I promise to stay true to my own voice. To never write this way again. I refuse to be like the president. Sad.
Wait, sorry. I mean starting now. Because I am my own man and/or woman with a mind of my own… unlike certain people. Moron!
Dammit. Okay, for real. That man is not going to make me change who I am. I am a good writer. I can think for myself. And I will not be tricked into mindlessly following the herd. Pitiful.
Shit.
Mike is happy. 
