(And yet I’m not really sure if those dashes are right up there. And did I need to say “at once” AND “both?” So yeah, never mind.)
Now is that kind of language really necessary?
We miss you already, Joy.
(Also Fun, Kindness, Compassion, Silliness, Subtlety, Irony, a Sense of Humor…)
Yahoo Real Estate and Forbes recently released their list of the 10 Most Miserable Cities in America: http://yhoo.it/xfuImY. And while I’m probably the last person who should be getting all holier-than-thou, shame on you, Kurt Badenhausen of Forbes.com, for piling on cities like Detroit and Flint. That’s not just lazy journalism, it’s a downright mean thing to do to good people living in cities that have a lot of good going for them:
10. Warren, Mighigan has a symphony orchestra, a quirky microbrewery that makes german beers the names of which I can’t pronounce and I don’t even like beer but this isn’t about me. And speaking of me, I have yet to see either 1 or 2, but Harold & Kumar 3 was shot in Warren. And though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t named after Messrs Buffett or Beatty, I do think that the 134,056 people who live in Warren, Michigan, don’t deserve to be called “miserable.”
9. Rockford, Illinois is full of gardens. They have a dance company, a performing arts center and four rivers. They are the seat of Winnebago County and the birthplace of Admiral George Dufek, Antarctic explorer. And if if you told him you thought his city was “miserable” you would no doubt incur the wrath of his ice pick thing.
8. Toldeo, Ohio has baseball, hockey, opera, a zoo, Corporal Max Klinger, the world belly dancing showcase and 77,355 families who are brokenhearted that you called them “miserable,” so you can kiss their jiggly asses.
7. Fort Lauderdale. While yes, frat boys are generally a miserable lot, Fort Lauderdale is beautiful beaches and great rec programs for kids, and 165,521 people who shouldn’t be made to feel “miserable.”
6. Chicago has that Seurat painting from Ferris Bueller and a way-too-flirty-with-my-wife Alfonso Soriano, Second City and hot dogs with huge pickles on them, people walking around in bathing suits right downtown because the beach is, like RIGHT there, and Michael Jordan. How dare you call it “miserable.”
5. Sacramento still has Arnold walking around, right? So there’s good comedy. They also have Fashion Week, a Sweet Potato Festival, “JIMMER!” and a whole bunch of good, decent, transplanted New Englanders who are anything but “miserable.” At least not anymore.
4. West Palm Beach, Florida is theater and opera and really fun fountains for thousands of kids who are so very NOT “miserable.” And really cute old people. I don’t know, I’m just saying. I’m getting tired. This is a long list.
3. Flint, Michigan has very real people who have fallen on hard times, and on top of that, you call their town “miserable?” You really should be ashamed.
2. Detroit has octopi on ice, so wherever you’re from, Kurt Badenhausen of Forbes.com, you lose. The Motor City also has the arts and community spirit and a nation’s support. But most importantly, Detroit has far too many hard-working people who simply want the chance to work hard again. And if some of them are “miserable” because of their current situation, giving them another kick probably isn’t helping much right now.
1. Miami has those manikins with the huge boobs. And as if you need another reason, there’s glitter, joy, true love, Cuban restaurants with ugly food that tastes beautiful, the best DP ever – Henry Lynk, too much of my money from that eggwhite omlette that morning at that place on Lincoln, and that Will Smith song that I just stuck right into your head just then, so who’s “miserable” now, Yahoo & Forbes?
Mike is happy. 