Tag: happiness

Love Thoughts, Society

Quoted From

mspatsperous

The Guest House
Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Translated by Coleman Barks

Family Ties, Society

Walking with A and D

mspatsperous

A and D.  Anxiety and depression.  These two are companions of mine in this walk called life.  A is the one that’s more constant.  One moment, I’m fine and all of a sudden, an unsolicited comment from somebody who doesn’t really know what’s going on, will get the better of me.  I thought I have already gotten over these two companions, but the sad truth is, being away in a foreign country, has given A and D one too many reasons to accompany me.

A is here everyday, I get anxious at every little thing.  While D on the other hand, I feel is slowly creeping back into my life after years of just hiding under covers.  I am trying.  Really.  I am.  What you see is a happy person on the outside, getting things done, but at the end of the day, I only want to be left alone.  I want to be in the company of my friends but most often than not, my energy gets drained with doing too much and being with a lot of people.

There have been a lot of times when I wanted to tell myself to just go home, every time I feel a little sad, a part of me nags “maybe you aren’t really made to be living abroad.”  But then, another part of me is saying, “but isn’t this what you wanted in the first place?  To be away, to be independent and to pursue your dreams.  You have already gotten this far, why would you let other people’s judgments stop you from living the life you’ve always wanted?  Be happy.  At least try.”

And one more thing is, I still really haven’t gotten over the death of my father.  It’s been more than a year but the void in my heart, the sadness of not being able to see him before his death, after twenty plus years of separation, is still there.  The regret of not being able to be with him is that black cloud that follows me around.  I try.  Really, I try.  To look at things in a more positive light and to continue walking even with A and D accompanying me even if I do not want them to.

My only request is, the next time you judge me for things I do and do not do, put yourself in my shoes.  You have not experienced what I have.  You do not understand my pain.  I try.  I really do. Please, just be kind to me.

Classroom Antics, Family Ties, Society

Take Your Time

mspatsperous

alarm-clock

“Just as a general note, you should eliminate any thought that there is an expectation that you do anything by any age.  You don’t have to be married by 25.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you haven’t graduated from college by 22.  You’re not a failure because you don’t have your dream job at 30. There are no rules to life.  You don’t get special points for achieving certain things by a deadline.  Just go at your own speed.  It’s not a race.”

I have often been asked what am I doing with my life.  Why do I seem to be off track.  When asked these, I answer with a question, “how can you say if a person is on track?”  Just because a person is this age, doesn’t mean he or she has to be married and have two or three kids, he or she has to earn this much or he or she must have been able to buy this and that.  I have always been confused with society’s notion that a person’s success must be based on milestones that should be achieved at a certain point in one’s life.  For me, as long as a person is learning and growing, one should not be anxious about not being able to hit certain milestones.  But rather live one’s life at one’s pace and timeline.

We are living in a world where everything seems to be a race.  And I have been trying to get out of that mentality.  I was told that I should have a stable income at 25, be married at 28, have kids before 30.  And to that, I answer, “the heck”.  I did not have a stable income at 25, but I was doing what I love to do – teaching and helping others.  Now at 28, I am surely not getting married, but rather, I am falling in love with myself again.  And kids, I know I would want to have them BUT, at the moment, I’d rather travel the world.

You see, priorities differ with each person.  And other people have their own timeline.  Let’s get out of the mentality that other people must choose for you, you are the one who should be determining your choices, after all, it’s your life.  Life is not a race.  As long as you are happy in your present situation, you’ll be fine.  You are not a failure just because you don’t follow the norm, you are better off than those who have been rushing and trying to check off the milestones but are unhappy with their lives.  Again, remember, life is not a race, it’s okay to take your time.