It’s one AM. Just finished working for tomorrow’s presentation. I should go to sleep. The grind will start again tomorrow morning. But I am not feeling like it.
It’s supposed to be Diwali. Well not supposed to be. It actually is. Or Kali Pujo as we Bengali’s call it.
Was feeling really dejected after dinner, at the prospect of having to work past midnight once more.
A friend had called up this morning to wish Happy Diwali. He asked me about my plans. I didn’t have any.
I can’t remember the last time I spent Diwali with my parents. Maybe in 2007-2008. Maybe earlier.
I miss being in India. Miss my parents and the extended family. Miss my cousins.
Life didn’t turn out the way I had imagined it to be. I shouldn’t complain. There are probably millions in the world who would give anything to have the life I have.
But I can’t help feeling sad sometimes. Especially on days like these.
The music sometimes helps. Like it did today.
It didn’t get rid of the sadness but it somehow got rid of my desire to get rid of the sadness.
It lifted me up a bit from my own life. Like I was not me but the hero in a bittersweet movie which the other I was watching from a distance.
I could feel the compassion and love the other I was feeling for the little I.
It made things a little better.
Happy Diwali everyone.
Invictus 
