Do You See What I See?

I am the proud (at least most of the time) mom of three big kids. They are what most people would classify as “good kids”. They do not give my husband and I much trouble. We have the normal worries that most parents have… grades, driving habits, messy rooms, things like that. However, all three of my children seem to suffer from KENONAPHOBIA.

What is kenonaphobia? Simply put, this word comes from Greek roots and means “fear of emptiness”. Specifically, in the case of my offspring, this fear manifests itself in a completely baseless fear of empty hair product bottles. For example, the last time I checked I counted six, yes six,  mostly empty bottles of shampoo and conditioner scattered about their shower. Most of these bottles have approximately two ounces of product left in them. Sadly, not one of my children have the courage to completely empty one of these bottles. What could this fear possibly be rooted in? Perhaps they fear that should they use up all of the shampoo or conditioner that there will be no more product available to replace it. As more and more unempty bottles accumulate and new bottles are opened up to replace them, perhaps it is their way of stimulating the economy and supporting the beauty industry. Maybe my kids are engaging in passive/agressive behavior because our house has only two bathrooms and they are forced to do the unthinkable-share one bathroom between the three of them. (For shame!) 

Unfortunately, there is no cure for kenonaphobia. One can only hope to treat the symptoms at best. I call upon the scientific community to come up with a solution. What about a shampoo bottle centrifuge for kenonaphobia sufferers? Would the fun of watching a contraption swing a bottle ’round and ’round in the shower at high rpm’s trump whatever fear that prevents a kenonaphobiac from completely emptying a bottle? Maybe. What about a special holder that sticks to the shower wall that would hold the bottles upside down, forcing the user to finish off the bottle? I did go on line and discover that it is possible to purchase a speical coupler that holds two bottles together, one atop the other, allowing the contents of one to completely drain into the other. But, all of these solutions will only work if the person with problem admits there is a problem. Is there such a thing as Kenonaphobiacs Anonymous?

There is no easy answer. I guess mom, (that’s me), will just have to continue doing what she always does. Simply gather up the half empty bottles and use them all up herself. Not a very glamorous solution, but satisfactorily pragmatic nonetheless. In other words, it works.