What great kids!

Karis and Kai are doing so well together. Karis just loves to take care of her baby brother, and he loves to have her around. He is adjusting so well. People can’t believe that he has been here only three weeks. Again, we have to attribute his great personality and resilience to the baby house in Kazakhstan. They did a phenomenal job raising him.
Kai is still a strong eater, although he is getting more particular. Carrots are out—he doesn’t even want to try them anymore. I can always count on him eating a cup of yogurt at mealtime, if all else fails.
He had his first bubble bath last night. Thank God it was decent bubble bath, because he loved to put his face in the bubbles. I swear he was a fish in another life. He has been to the playground, and is getting strong enough to pull himself up on the “ladder” and climb on the playscape. His favorite toys are still his cars (“machine-ah”). He can never get enough of them. We’re still working on becoming friends with the dog. Apparently, this will be a very long process!
The kids do irritate each other for about a minute and a half a day. Yesterday was our first encounter in the car with “He’s looking at me!” Later in the afternoon, he stood in front of the TV while she was watching cartoons. He had both arms and legs spread out in a big “X”. She told him to move, and, when he didn’t, she simply went over and picked him up and moved him. No tears, no fuss. Mission accomplished!
We went back to the orthodontist this a.m. What a tough morning for the little guy! They took two different views for x-rays, both upper and lower molds of his mouth, digital pictures, and an impression of his bite. He was quite the trooper. I won't say he enjoyed it, but I will say that he was good about everything. They will next put an "expander" in his mouth to align the three segments (both sides and the front) before the oral surgeon closes the gap/repairs the palate. The expander will be there for about three months (John or I will tighten a screw daily to position the gum line properly) before he has surgery. He will have surgery on his lip following the oral surgery. There is so much involved with the cleft; teeth that are yet to come in, hearing that could be affected (we've been very lucky to this point), psychological issues that could arise from others' comments, possible bone graft to support new teeth, etc.. We are well informed from the Cleft Palate Foundation as well as from his doctors. What a difference these people will make in his life.
Kai has met so many of our friends and family. We can't wait for him to meet all of you! Our friends from church are having an “adoption” shower for us this weekend. We truly appreciate what everyone is doing for us—toys, clothes, visits, information booklets—how do you know exactly what we need when we don’t even know? The support we have never ceases to amaze me. We love all of you!

The Bear That We Live With...And Why A 3' Child Would Be Afraid...

Need I say more?

What a Life Changing Experience!

First--I must apologize for taking so long to update the blog. What a whirlwind it has been. Let me just say that the trip home was 31 hours, and a really bad experience, but Kai (Aidar) was a great traveler, and we couldn't have been happier with him. We owe HUGE thanks to Marsha and Ray for picking us up at the airport and driving us home. And, of course, to Shannon and Rachael for lending us the car seat for the ride home. We now call him "Kai", but we kept "Aidar" as his middle name, and often call him a combination of the two.

We've been back for one and a half weeks, and you would think that this child grew up in the States. He acts like he has been going to church, playgrounds, the mall, restaurants, the doctor, etc. every day of his life. He is a happy, happy little boy, and everyone is impressed at how well he is adapting. He isn't doing very well with the dog, however; he is terrified of Boo. But, I can empathize. It's like us moving in with a ten foot bear, and having someone say "It's OK. Look, he's a nice bear." Yeah, right!

Kai's sign language skills are growing every day. It is great that he can communicate with us almost as well as we can communicate with him. His favorite sign: "EAT!" The doctor has already put him on a diet. He is is underweight for his age, but weighs more than 95% of other children his height. We're giving him a lot of fruits and vegetables, and letting him burn it all off by playing--something he probably didn't get to do very often at the baby house.

Karis is a phenomenal big sister. She wants to help Kai with everything. Sometimes he gets irritated with her trying to help him do things he has been doing for years (like walking), but he is a patient little boy and loves her attention. He absolutely adores her, and gives her hugs and kisses when she sits still for a moment.

She couldn't wait for him to come home with us so that she could take him to Build-A-Bear. She went to town there and built a bear with every accessory she could find in the store--shoes, socks, a dress, purse, coat, you name it. Kai chose a dog (surprisingly, since he is scared to death of our's), but then started choosing Cinderella dresses and silver purses for it. John just shook his head. John was able to convince him to buy a NASCAR shirt for it, and Kai chose a camouflage hard hat, which didn't match, but was more masculine than a silver purse. I thought he might at first be going for the "Village People" look.

He has gone to see both his pediatrician and a member of the Cleft Team at Duke Hospital. His pediatrician is going to run a few more tests, and it looks like we will have to have all of his immunizations again, since Kazakhstan did not give us complete records. The Duke Team feels he should see an orthodontist first to see if the three segments (both sides and the front) in his mouth can be better aligned before he has surgery. We're not sure how long this will take, but we're concerned about his baby teeth falling out and his permanent teeth coming in before surgery. I guess it's one step at a time, though, isn't it?

We're so glad to have the major aspects of the adoption over with. Thanks to all of you for keeping up with our story and for your prayers and well wishes! More to come shortly.

Our New Family of Four

We made it home. Not with out incident but most importantly, we made it home safely. We are so thrilled to be home as a family of four in the GREAT USA! We hope to see everyone soon. Here is a picture of our new family when we arrived home Saturday night.

Blessings to all-

Day 33--The End of Our Final Trip

Day 33-- February 20, 2009

Today is our final day in Kazakhstan. The end of one journey and the beginning of another. Aidar woke up as a happy little boy, of course, which can only start our day with a smile. We visited with Aziz, our translator from our last trip, and went to see his wife’s store. It is in a market area that is just as you would imagine it—small shops, fruit stands, a little bit of everything with people everywhere. We couldn’t stay long because we had to get to the embassy, but it was so nice to spend time with someone so kind.

Ducien, our driver, picked us up and took us to the embassy. He, too, is one of the kindest people you would ever meet. Just as we arrived, it began to snow. It was a really pretty, wet snow—the perfect kind for a snowball fight. We met up with Olga, and went up to the U.S. Embassy. It’s not at all what you would expect. It’s on the top floor of a bank building. It’s a waiting room similar to DMV (except no one is ever there), and we simply went to a window to pay for Aidar’s visa ($400—Yikes! We didn’t see that one coming), and then to another window to pick up our documents. The entire process took maybe fifteen minutes.

We went back to the apartment, where we left Aidar with Ducien, and Olga, John and I went to meet with Assya, our translator, and Aidar’s father. He is such a kind man who is so incredibly sad. His tears broke my heart. His wife did not have the strength to come. He wanted us to know that they would have kept Aidar if only they had the money and the resources in Kazakhstan to help him. He also wanted us to know that he and his wife are healthy, and they don’t understand how Aidar was born with a cleft lip and palate. They do have one son who is older than Aidar, and he showed us a picture of this handsome little boy. I think his wife feels incredibly guilty; thinking it somehow must be her fault. He said that since Aidar was born, his wife has simply existed, and that they’re afraid to have more children. He asked us to tell Aidar when he grows up about them; that they love him and would not have given him up if they could have kept him. We assured him that Aidar will always know—not only when he is an adult. We told him that Aidar will know that he has two sets of parents: one in Kazakhstan and one in the U.S. He cried probably three or four times. It was so sad. I hope we gave him some peace in his heart.

So we leave tonight with both joy and sadness. Olga said that this is the first meeting that she knows of between birth parents and adoptive parents. I know she feels his anguish as well. We are almost in disbelief that we are leaving….but we’re not on the plane yet. Hopefully, we’ll be home Sunday and you can all meet the little guy in person.

Day 32--It Couldn't Last Forever

Day 32-- February 19, 2009

Well, it was a good run while we had it. We knew it couldn’t last forever! The knocking on the door and waiting…forget it. The going to bed and not getting up….nix that, too. Not liking raspberry preserves and apple juice….he was just kidding. Still, just when you think you couldn’t love him any more, you do.

Our day turned out to be not so busy after all. Our driver showed up unexpectedly and told John that he and John were going to the embassy to drop off the documents—no wife and no baby. That was great because I wasn’t ready, and they were back in no time. We took a taxi to the museum near the Ministry of Education. It cost about $7.50 USD each way. The museum was only about $1.50 for both John and me! What a deal! We spent the afternoon there (about 2 ½ hours), which was relatively quick, considering most of the displays had information only in Russian and Kazakh.

We went to dinner, and again, Aidar ate everything—his dinner, half of my dinner, most of the bread. When we got home, he went straight to the kitchen and pulled out a chair to eat again! I swear this child has a tapeworm in his belly! The thing that really surprises us is that he never spills his food, even though he has a bilateral cleft palate and lip. He eats yogurt with no problem, and tonight, he had chicken noodle soup. His clothes are as clean after eating as they are before he eats. I hope I don’t jinx him by writing that!

We don’t know if we’re meeting with his birth parents tomorrow. We haven’t heard back from our translator on that. We have to be at the embassy at 3:00, and our translator has a class at 5:00 (she’s in college), so there won’t be much time in between to meet with them.

As for our trip home, Lufthansa canceled Aidar’s ticket yesterday, after having reinstated the return portion of the original roundtrip ticket (that they had also canceled) last Friday (a one-way ticket would have cost around $8,000, so I bought a round trip ticket for $1500 thinking he could just use the second half of the ticket; they canceled it when he didn’t fly the first leg). Their explanation for reconsidering was that it would cost almost $3,000 for the flight, so they were canceling it again. This happened two days before we’re to fly. John sent them a note saying he was really disappointed that it came down to the dollar for them, and that the fact that we’re adopting a special needs child with dates that keep changing is irrelevant to them. I guess we’ll have difficulties to the end. God knows that I will be happy in more ways than one to get home.

FYI, the picture of the building is the museum where we spent the day.

Day 31--The Perfect Child Gets Better

Day 31-- February 18, 2009

OK, it only gets better with this kid. He knocks when doors are closed (and waits for a response before entering), he goes to bed at 8:00 (and doesn’t get up after we leave the room), and he is happy from the moment he wakes up (which is too early for me) until the moment he goes to sleep (which is too early for him). He LOVES taking a bath—especially when John dumps water on his head again and again. Just before going to sleep, he loves for us to “relax” him as we call it with Karis; his favorite body part to be touched ever so lightly are his feet.

We discovered another food that he doesn’t like: raspberry preserves. I had some toast today, and he wanted no part of the piece that had the preserves. Of course, he scoffed up the other piece that had just butter! He has also taken a preference of water to apple juice (that’s a good thing), and doesn’t like to drink milk, but will eat it with his cereal. He is also an ambidextrous eater. He must have a fork and spoon—one in each hand—for virtually every meal. He eats pizza with a fork, as hard as we may have tried to let him know it was OK to pick it up with his hand. John taught him how to tip the bowl and drink the milk out of the bowl when his cereal is gone. And I thought Karis learned that on her own. Silly me!

Our day started off slowly, revved up quickly, and then ended slowly as well. We spent the morning waiting for our driver to call/arrive to take us to the medical center and to have Aidar’s passport photo taken. I swear this kid is going to think we’re wealthy; what a disappointment it will be for all of us to not have a driver when we get home. As I’ve said before, I just close my eyes when we’re on the road. You don’t want to look forward, but you don’t feel any better when you look out the side windows, either. Our driver says that 50% of the drivers are crazy and 50% are stupid. It’s like NASCAR on every street.

Once we got on the road, we got everything we needed to do accomplished in record time: we picked up the translated documents; we had his photo taken for his visa; while the photo was being developed, we bought toys for the baby house (Marianne--the children’s store in the same building as the Russia grocery store is great for this (not too expensive)); and we bought flowers for the doctor of whom we have become so fond at the baby house. Our driver dropped us off at the baby house, and we delivered the wonderful surprises. Unfortunately, the doctor was sick, but we wish her a speedy recovery. Flowers always help you to feel better!

We walked to an indoor strip mall where we bought some items in the past, and we bought Aidar the cutest little slipper boots that look like colorful horses. Two stores (one across from the other) were competing for the sale, so had him try on slippers in both stores. When we asked him to choose which pair he wanted, he went over and picked up his very own shoe! Too much pressure!

We had a relaxing late afternoon at home before dinner and a bath. Aidar is asleep in bed now, and John is asleep on the couch, as your day is just beginning. Tomorrow is another busy day for us at the Embassy. For those of you wondering, I am still pretty sick, not sleeping, and still cannot talk. But, as I’ve said, being sick doesn’t preclude you from being a mom, does it?

Our coordinator asked if we would like to meet with Aidar’s birth parents on Friday. I am so glad to know that they would like for us to stay in touch. I also like that Aidar will grow up knowing them. I think meeting will bring peace to their hearts. And it brings a sense of fulfillment to mine so that I am not worried about them and how they feel to lose the child they cannot help. John is a little more nervous than I that everything could change even as late as just before our flight if they decided to change their minds. I think we all have to have faith that this is the right thing to do.