i finally finished my exams. like finally. i have one of the longest exam periods ever. it lasted nearly 3 weeks. and yet. i still failed to study for my last paper. unbelievable. the power of procrastination. sighz. i am quite sure 2nd upper honours is out of my league now. i don't want to know my results for this semester at all...

but oh well. the good thing is i can do whatever i want now! hahahaz. watched cape no 7 yesterdae with my darling son! =) the plot is actually not fantastic, but the way it is filmed is quite refreshing and nice! and it's super funny but there is one pre-requisite. you must understand hokkien to a certain extent. hahahaz. cant stop laughing at all. good way to relieve stress after exams. and the songs are quite nice

the world is in a mess now basically. everything is so complicated. promising lives are sniffed out just like that. politics. power. greed. beliefs. religions. democracy. war. terrorism. human beings are really good at killing each other. is this where civilisation is leading us to?

there are so many things to do in this month. i hope i can finish all of them. aiyahz don't really know what to blog now. continue later. hahahaz.

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 11:15 pm

juz watched episode 14 of criminal minds season 1. and i cried for the first time watching this show. ok first of all. this is not a those love story show which is pretty obvious from its title. it is not only full of suspense it has lotsa interesting disections of the human mind and behaviour. ok. i shld rephrase it as the warped human mind and behaviour. but no matter what. it's really good. maybe it's time to read up on psychology.

anyway this episode is slightly different from the rest. it didn't start off with a murder/crime that will pave the way for the rest of the show. this was about the team going to interview a couple who were on death row for the murder of 13 girls (which was actually 18 in the end). the husband is a psycho sexual killer but the wife dun fit the profile of a killer at all. and the team realised that she lied about killing her own son so as to protect him from his father. she sent him away from home and lied that she killed him so that he can begin a new life somewhere else at the age of 2.

even after the team found her son and she knew it. she begged them not to tell him anything and just let the secret die with her when she is electrocuted to death. she didnt kill a single person. she didnt even know that her husband killed the 18 girls. the things a mother will do for her children...

catch it online if you can.

ok i shld be studying now... erps. not watching anymore episodes of criminal minds. i can't finished studying my advanced corporate finance and financial modelling. sighz. i m gone...

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 10:38 pm

it's exam period yet i am blogging. hahahaz. as usual an excuse to slack.

well finished my first paper for this exam period yesterdae. and it's titled derivatives. and as usual. it's a complete disaster. what can i say except that i made the decision to specialise in banking and finance. so yahz. i cant exactly complain but i definitely can whine about it. hahahahaz.

12 more days to forensic science. 14 more days to financial modelling. 15 more days to advanced corporate finance.

if i dun get stellar grades tis sem which means all As for all modules. i am goin to s/u my remaining 2 mods next sem. since nothing will affect my gpa le. and hav one-day week and go and work.

a few days ago. when i was stoning or dont know doing what. a memory suddenly came to mind. it's one of the silly things that i did in europe. hahahaz. it started and ended on our road trip to germany i think. because we were on expressways. ok maybe they dont call it expressways but highways etc lahz. then southern germany is very mountaineous like switzerland so they have alot of tunnels. then ban2 said that if we make a wish before entering the tunnels and we hold our breath till the end of the tunnel. our wishes will come true.

i guess we were really bored. hahahaz. so everytime before we enter the tunnel you can hear a collective strong inhale of breath by almost everyone at the same time...and along the way some pple will fail...and these pple will try to sabortage other pple and we all ended up laughing. and if i didn't remember wrongly. there was this super duper long tunnel that took us more than 3 mins to drive through. and obviously at times like this. the driver dont participate. we dont want him to faintx due to lack of oxygen. hahahahaz.

and i will always remember the gprs that function at times and dont function at times. hahahaz. i was playing with it because no wan can figure out how to operate it. then suddenly i see an arrow moving...but yahz. at times it will malfunction but always when we are on the highways and not when we are in the cities.

saw a very very beautiful picture of swiss in autumn. really really very beautiful. how i wish i have seen it for myself and inhale the air of autumn.

ok enough slacking and time to start on...advanced corporate finance for today.

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 11:59 am

a blog entry on exams. since it is going to start...officially 2molo. sighz.

apparently. if i get all As for my remaining modules and that i don't s/u any more modules. i can get 2nd upper class honours. ok the difficulty is in the all As...once i get a single B+ or more than 1/2 A- everything is gone. no more chance.

the big hype over 2nd upper and 2nd lower is that it's much easier to find job if i have 2nd upper. coz alot alot of companies eliminate anything below 2nd upper.

if only i didnt slack so much in year 1 and didnt scored so badly in year 2 sem 1. the 2 Cs really killed my gpa.

so yahz. i m trying to study and make sure i understand. dun noe how good tis will do me but hopefully it will do sufficient good. i really need an A...which is near to impossible.

and yahz. cant help wonder if i m studying medicine...will i have more motivation?

and recently i really want to go back to europe in particular st gallen to do masters. if only money was never an issue. hahahahaz.

c'est impossible. my fav french phrase.

and class 95 is now my best fren every night. becoz it plays love songs which aid in my studying. i cant listen to chinese radio stations or else i will start singing along.

and 2dae. i actually heard alot alot of interesting dedications. really got deja vu feeling. how many people are there in this world with the same name? even one that alot of us deemed as rare apparently wasn't that rare as seen from the search results generated on facebook

suddenly i am glad that my papa gave mi my directly translated from chinese english name even though i was been laughed at becoz of it through primary school... becoz i am very sure...so far at least. no wan else has the same name. who will want their child to be consistently asked if his/her best fren is tomato?

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 12:34 pm

sometimes i reallie think that i talk wae too much. hahahaz. i think everywan agrees with me on this. i had supposedly tone down alot over the years...so you can imagine how bad i used to be. wahahahaz. everywan. literally everywan had super bad first impression of me even till now. i guess it's just me and i am way too lazy to change myself.

if i had talked less. maybe things will turn out differently.

sometimes i do wish that i know what is it i am looking for. in life. in school. in work. in relationships. in friends. and within myself.

sometimes i feel like rewinding the tape all the way and erasing everything that had happened.

sometimes i do wish time passes faster and i am already old and feeble.

sometimes i wish that my life is laid out for me. but then. i most probably wun follow it since i don't like people to make decisions for me. but on the other hand. i dun like to make decisions.

sometimes i want to smack myself for thinking too much.

sometimes i want to smack myself for not seeing things that should have been obvious to me.

sometimes i wish i can believe in the good in people...more. and give them more chance. even though i always think they dun exactly need it from me.

sometimes i do wish i am less certain about myself. because if i am so sure about myself then why am i still so confused? and so unmotivated

sometimes i should just care less about how people view me.

sometimes i think i am out to create trouble for myself.

sometimes i just wish that i can protect myself betta.

sometimes i wish i am not so vulnerable. my crying point is super low. the slightest thing can make me cry and it's not because i am emo.

sometimes i wish i am not so strong. or pretend to be strong.

sometimes i just want to be quiet. companionable silence is what i seek if possible.

sometimes i wish i can just stop living in the past and start living in the present.

sometimes i wish i am not such a coward.

sometimes i wish i am wrong.

sometimes i wish i have the faith.

sometimes i want to lock my emotions in a box and throw the key away.

sometimes i hope i am more rational.

sometimes.

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 12:28 am