Words. They come and go. They connect us to the sea of humanity that engulfs us. We are somewhat like spiders, for we weave words as spiders weave webs. We may marvel at the intricate patterns of a web, but personally I think no other animal (there may be other intelligent life forms than us) may weave a pattern so convoluted, so twisted, so bizzarely complicated.
We lie. We cheat. We curse with words, be it in your mind or through speech. It is both a poison and a serum. But the words that we so carelessly utter, will never return. No matter how much we want them to. We pray for them to come back. We plead for them to come back, and hope everything is forgotten.
But these...words...do not ever return. Nothing will ever mend a wound. The scar will never go away. And so does the hurting.
I said something very wrong yesterday. And I think I will regret it forever.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Pulau Jerejak-ing
A few days ago, my mom and I decided to go to Pulau Jerejak. From what we've heard about this island so very close to Penang, the place seemed fun for a one-day trip. So, we just bought the tickets and bounced off to the island.
The ferry ride (or was it a boat?) was quite pleasant, with the cool wind gently blowing past us, and probably messing up everyone's hair (I seem to recall many aunties scurrying for cover..hehe). After what seemed eternity (around 5 minutes), we reached the island safely. In the 18 years of my life, I've never set foot on this island before. Hence, I was just as excited as a hibernating polar bear, probably because I realized that 18 years of never being here were too short a time.
The service was great, and the scenery was beautiful. I suspect there were jungle trekking, flying fox, camping packages available, but being a National Service trainee (hehe...hehe...), that part of my life is considered so long ago.
But just so my trip here would not be considered a waste of time, I persevered to take down notes of the flora and fauna on this island. And I actually learned some very interesting facts about Pulau Jerejak. This fabled island was said to be where Francis Light set foot before he reached Pulau Pinang (the Pearl of the Orient).
*for those uninterested in facts, do not continue reading*
This island, covered with thick coastal forest, aging approximately 4000 years hosts 210 species and 71 families of plants. The main plant communities that can be found on Jerejak island are Dipterocarp, Mangrove, Riverine Coastal and Weedy species.
Ahem, and for those who are looking for an aphrodisiac (the traditional ones), fret not, there are supposedly many of the revered Tongkat Ali plants (Eurycoma Longifolia, a medicinal plant that increases strength and energy) growing on this island.
Besides that, there is the White Bellied Sea Eagle and Long Tailed Macaques that live on this island. I spotted one monkey btw. Hehe.
So, there it is. My day in Jerejak Island. Haha. (Although I didn't do much except fold a grasshopper from a Palm tree leaf, I got to spend time with my grandma and family), so, this trip was just another excuse to go gallivanting around Penang with them. Muahaha.
The ferry ride (or was it a boat?) was quite pleasant, with the cool wind gently blowing past us, and probably messing up everyone's hair (I seem to recall many aunties scurrying for cover..hehe). After what seemed eternity (around 5 minutes), we reached the island safely. In the 18 years of my life, I've never set foot on this island before. Hence, I was just as excited as a hibernating polar bear, probably because I realized that 18 years of never being here were too short a time.
The service was great, and the scenery was beautiful. I suspect there were jungle trekking, flying fox, camping packages available, but being a National Service trainee (hehe...hehe...), that part of my life is considered so long ago.
But just so my trip here would not be considered a waste of time, I persevered to take down notes of the flora and fauna on this island. And I actually learned some very interesting facts about Pulau Jerejak. This fabled island was said to be where Francis Light set foot before he reached Pulau Pinang (the Pearl of the Orient).
*for those uninterested in facts, do not continue reading*
This island, covered with thick coastal forest, aging approximately 4000 years hosts 210 species and 71 families of plants. The main plant communities that can be found on Jerejak island are Dipterocarp, Mangrove, Riverine Coastal and Weedy species.
Ahem, and for those who are looking for an aphrodisiac (the traditional ones), fret not, there are supposedly many of the revered Tongkat Ali plants (Eurycoma Longifolia, a medicinal plant that increases strength and energy) growing on this island.
Besides that, there is the White Bellied Sea Eagle and Long Tailed Macaques that live on this island. I spotted one monkey btw. Hehe.
So, there it is. My day in Jerejak Island. Haha. (Although I didn't do much except fold a grasshopper from a Palm tree leaf, I got to spend time with my grandma and family), so, this trip was just another excuse to go gallivanting around Penang with them. Muahaha.
Friday, May 30, 2008
What to do when you're utterly bored(only for those above 18)
Ahem...This is what you should do when you're in a shopping mall, with nothing but time to spare.
Trust me, it makes you feel very silly, but hey, who the hell cares anyway?
The picture here depicts a few pigs doing something that defies the law of nature. But the brave pigs here have decided to test the boundaries of this law, and viola! A superb piggy threesome has taken place!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
A few ways to tell your mom you love her on her bday!!
Ahem...Yesterday was my beloved mother's birthday. So, I have been hearing this rumor going around the world saying, "The best present you can give is to tell her you love her." And hence, without further delay, I started hatching a plot, sketching a plan and all the possible emergency exits should anything go out of hand.
At the crack of dawn, no, actually, it was way before the crack, it was around 12.01 in the morning, I mustered all my courage, summoned out the ancient spirits of bravery and valor, combed my hair(actually I didn't), and grabbed my present. Then with steady footsteps, I walked to my parent's bedroom. And knocked.
And somehow, this chilling night breeze that blew from nowhere attacked my senses, and in the distance I heard a wolf howl. The footsteps approaching the door were thunderous, deafening as I waited for the door to open. Ahem, I gave my mom the present and screamed Happy Birthday, before my parents decided that I should sleep.
Damn..
So, here are another few possible methods to tell your mother you love her on her most important day.
1. Place a small stone between you and your mom. Trip on the stone and give her a hug. Then say the words as you fall.
Side effect: You might hurt your mother, physically and emotionally. She would think of her son as an insincere prick with a vacuum-filled space between the ears.
2. Try falling sick, or powder yourself till you look like a ghost. Then utter the words Hong Kong drama-style.
Side effect: Sigh. Just don't try this at home kiddo.
3. Ask around the family, and get to know your mom's enemies, and who your mom bears a grudge against. Kill them.
Side effect: Life imprisonment(it's not murder!), but you will get daily visits from your mom.
4. Plant a pumpkin. Carve those sacred words onto the small pumpkin as it grows.
Side effect: You will have to celebrate the birthday two months later. Check the calendar! Focus!
Hmm..So this was what I did. I decided that I had to treat her to dinner. So my dad and I brought her to Autocity. We stepped into Swenson's and out of a sudden, I felt like I was being followed by some unknown presence. I walked around the restaurant and found a spot, yet the stalker stubbornly followed my footsteps. A sudden unreasoning fear grabbed hold of my heart, as I questioned myself, "Was this assassin delivered from the alliance of enemies I had?"
Just as I was about to deliver a flying kick to the stalker, she said,"What would you like to order?"
So we enjoyed dinner, and I had to literally force my mom to ALLOW me to order the apple crumble for her. We all knew she liked sweet stuff, but as a caring mother, she decided that it was straining my budget. After dinner, I dragged myself to the counter. The cashier was quite a pleasant person, with a pleasant voice, that was before-
"RM 112.80 please."
My wallet burst into flames, and I suddenly my life flashing before my eyes.
Ever so slowly, I withdrew my money, said goodbye to all my old pals(the green ones), and watched the cashier swallow them like a lizard. Maybe it was just me, but I vaguely remember seeing her lizard-like tongue lick her lips as she hungrily eyed the money. Anyway, I couldn't drive my parents back, because:
1. I just got my license, everybody is wary of my superb driving skills.
2. My license was burnt into cinder. My wallet burst into flames, remember?
Okay, back to the story. We braved the treacherous storm and violent elements, and headed back home. Before I went to sleep, (ok, before i TOLD my mom I was going to sleep, hehe), somehow my horizontally challenged feet slipped on the deceptively flat surface, so I gave her a monstrous hug. And told her what I should have been telling every year of my life.
At the crack of dawn, no, actually, it was way before the crack, it was around 12.01 in the morning, I mustered all my courage, summoned out the ancient spirits of bravery and valor, combed my hair(actually I didn't), and grabbed my present. Then with steady footsteps, I walked to my parent's bedroom. And knocked.
And somehow, this chilling night breeze that blew from nowhere attacked my senses, and in the distance I heard a wolf howl. The footsteps approaching the door were thunderous, deafening as I waited for the door to open. Ahem, I gave my mom the present and screamed Happy Birthday, before my parents decided that I should sleep.
Damn..
So, here are another few possible methods to tell your mother you love her on her most important day.
1. Place a small stone between you and your mom. Trip on the stone and give her a hug. Then say the words as you fall.
Side effect: You might hurt your mother, physically and emotionally. She would think of her son as an insincere prick with a vacuum-filled space between the ears.
2. Try falling sick, or powder yourself till you look like a ghost. Then utter the words Hong Kong drama-style.
Side effect: Sigh. Just don't try this at home kiddo.
3. Ask around the family, and get to know your mom's enemies, and who your mom bears a grudge against. Kill them.
Side effect: Life imprisonment(it's not murder!), but you will get daily visits from your mom.
4. Plant a pumpkin. Carve those sacred words onto the small pumpkin as it grows.
Side effect: You will have to celebrate the birthday two months later. Check the calendar! Focus!
Hmm..So this was what I did. I decided that I had to treat her to dinner. So my dad and I brought her to Autocity. We stepped into Swenson's and out of a sudden, I felt like I was being followed by some unknown presence. I walked around the restaurant and found a spot, yet the stalker stubbornly followed my footsteps. A sudden unreasoning fear grabbed hold of my heart, as I questioned myself, "Was this assassin delivered from the alliance of enemies I had?"
Just as I was about to deliver a flying kick to the stalker, she said,"What would you like to order?"
So we enjoyed dinner, and I had to literally force my mom to ALLOW me to order the apple crumble for her. We all knew she liked sweet stuff, but as a caring mother, she decided that it was straining my budget. After dinner, I dragged myself to the counter. The cashier was quite a pleasant person, with a pleasant voice, that was before-
"RM 112.80 please."
My wallet burst into flames, and I suddenly my life flashing before my eyes.
Ever so slowly, I withdrew my money, said goodbye to all my old pals(the green ones), and watched the cashier swallow them like a lizard. Maybe it was just me, but I vaguely remember seeing her lizard-like tongue lick her lips as she hungrily eyed the money. Anyway, I couldn't drive my parents back, because:
1. I just got my license, everybody is wary of my superb driving skills.
2. My license was burnt into cinder. My wallet burst into flames, remember?
Okay, back to the story. We braved the treacherous storm and violent elements, and headed back home. Before I went to sleep, (ok, before i TOLD my mom I was going to sleep, hehe), somehow my horizontally challenged feet slipped on the deceptively flat surface, so I gave her a monstrous hug. And told her what I should have been telling every year of my life.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Muahaha..another few jokes
Lame...But hey, i read them on the net and find them funny.:)
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
Be Politically Correct With Men
He does not have a FAT BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a CRAP DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He does not SLEEP AROUND - He is HORIZONTALLY OVER-GENEROUS.
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He is a SWINE EMPATHIZING BIGOT.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
He does not STINK - He has HYGIENE AVERSION SYNDROME.
He is not a GROPING PERVERT - He suffers from COMPULSIVE HAND MOVEMENT DISORDER.
He is not OBSESSED WITH TELEVISED SPORTS - He has AN ATHLETIC TELEVISUAL ADDICTION.
He does not IGNORE YOU - He has ATTENTION SPAN DEFICIT DISORDER.
He is not a LAZY, MESSY SLOB - He LACKS HAND-VACUUM COORDINATION.
He does not tell ENDLESS, BORING, UNFUNNY JOKES - He is HUMORLY OVER-CONFIDENT.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
Be Politically Correct With Women
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
Teacher and Matt
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies. "If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun,
how many are left?" asks the teacher. Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun,
the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off." "No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun,
but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds. "Well, teach, I've got a question for you...
There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it,
and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?" The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers,
"Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream." Matt replies "No teach, the one that has
the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
Leaving Early
Three women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early.
One day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called, or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early.
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, played with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the gym before meeting her dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early to suprise her husband. But when she got to the bedroom,
she heard a muffled noise coming from inside.
Slowly and quietly she cracked open the door, and was mortified to see
her boss in bed with her husband!
Gently she closed the door, and crept out of the house.
The next day the brunette and the redhead planned on leaving early again and asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
"NO WAY," the blonde exclaimed, " I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT YESTERDAY!!!"
everything men know about women
The following is a comprehensive federal study, approved by the Attorney General:
Everything Men Know About Women
End of Report
U.S. Attorney General's Office
3 types of people
There are 3 basic types of people in the world:
1. Those who can count.
2. Those who can't.
foot doctor
A drunk says to the bartender, "I want a woman!" So, the bartender gives him directions to the local brothel. The customer was so drunk, he misreads the directions and accidentally goes into the office of a foot doctor. The receptionist at the counter asks, "Can I help you?" "Yes, I want some service," states the drunk. She sends him to one of the examination rooms and tells him to put it on the table. The drunk goes in and places his manhood on the exam table. When the doctor comes in, the startled podiatrist sees the man's member on the table and she says, "That's not a foot!" The drunk replies, "Give it time, lady, give it time."
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
Be Politically Correct With Men
He does not have a FAT BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a CRAP DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He does not SLEEP AROUND - He is HORIZONTALLY OVER-GENEROUS.
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He is a SWINE EMPATHIZING BIGOT.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
He does not STINK - He has HYGIENE AVERSION SYNDROME.
He is not a GROPING PERVERT - He suffers from COMPULSIVE HAND MOVEMENT DISORDER.
He is not OBSESSED WITH TELEVISED SPORTS - He has AN ATHLETIC TELEVISUAL ADDICTION.
He does not IGNORE YOU - He has ATTENTION SPAN DEFICIT DISORDER.
He is not a LAZY, MESSY SLOB - He LACKS HAND-VACUUM COORDINATION.
He does not tell ENDLESS, BORING, UNFUNNY JOKES - He is HUMORLY OVER-CONFIDENT.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
Be Politically Correct With Women
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
Teacher and Matt
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies. "If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun,
how many are left?" asks the teacher. Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun,
the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off." "No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun,
but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds. "Well, teach, I've got a question for you...
There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it,
and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?" The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers,
"Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream." Matt replies "No teach, the one that has
the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
Leaving Early
Three women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early.
One day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called, or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early.
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, played with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the gym before meeting her dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early to suprise her husband. But when she got to the bedroom,
she heard a muffled noise coming from inside.
Slowly and quietly she cracked open the door, and was mortified to see
her boss in bed with her husband!
Gently she closed the door, and crept out of the house.
The next day the brunette and the redhead planned on leaving early again and asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
"NO WAY," the blonde exclaimed, " I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT YESTERDAY!!!"
everything men know about women
The following is a comprehensive federal study, approved by the Attorney General:
Everything Men Know About Women
End of Report
U.S. Attorney General's Office
3 types of people
There are 3 basic types of people in the world:
1. Those who can count.
2. Those who can't.
foot doctor
A drunk says to the bartender, "I want a woman!" So, the bartender gives him directions to the local brothel. The customer was so drunk, he misreads the directions and accidentally goes into the office of a foot doctor. The receptionist at the counter asks, "Can I help you?" "Yes, I want some service," states the drunk. She sends him to one of the examination rooms and tells him to put it on the table. The drunk goes in and places his manhood on the exam table. When the doctor comes in, the startled podiatrist sees the man's member on the table and she says, "That's not a foot!" The drunk replies, "Give it time, lady, give it time."
Coffins of the past
Memories of the past mould who we are today. Just as how our actions today determine who we will be in the future. I have had a few people who are dear to me, change right in front of my eyes, because of unresolved issues of the past. Often these painful memories creep silently to haunt you, right when you think you are safe. You hide the emotional turmoil, because you want to find time to puzzle out the problems of the past by yourself. Because you would rather face it alone. But never have you found the answer why. Why certain things happen, and the world (at least it seems like it) chooses to turn a blind eye to your misfortune.
Why are evil people set free, and good folks done injustice?
Do you realize that when you are sad and depressed, most of the time you are merely recalling a painful memory, like a thorn in your heart? The depression takes root when you are lonely. No, not the usual lonely. The kind of loneliness that happens when you find yourself surrounded by people, yet you feel alone. Different. When you see smiles, yet you cannot seem to force a smile out on your face, no matter how hard you try. The crowd goes one way, but you go the other. Because certain experiences breed different people, and certain memories trigger different emotions when something at present happens.
Sorrowful things happen. Happy things happen. That is life, at least from my 18 year old point of view. Yet this is where people differ. We can choose to learn from these experiences. Because something like this has happened, we can understand how other people must feel when they are going through something similar.
That is why I find people like this, more understanding, and willing to care about others. They may be taciturn, but they listen. You may not be a good speaker, but you can be a good listener.
A monk once said that carrying the coffins of the past is heavy. Why did he term it coffin? Because the memories were dead, there is nothing you can do to relive it(the memories, i mean). If you cannot learn from it, if you cannot bring yourself to forget, to throw it away, put it down. Just for a moment. And live in the moment.
The moment of now is what you can change.
The moment of now is what changes you.
Then you can resume carrying the burden. It is respites like this that refills your fuel tank to continue life. When things are too much to handle, and you are fed up with thinking. Stop thinking. Just give your mind the much needed rest from the endless bickering.
Of course, saying it is much easier than doing it. Even more when you are hurting. But sometimes, no matter how much others explain to you, you will never understand, not unless you get through the worst moments of it by yourself.
Everybody has their own coffin of memories, be it happy or sad ones, on their back. But why can some people smile their way through everything? And why do some rich spoilt brats whine at the tiniest things?
I guess, in the end, you make your own world. You decide whether or not to move on or carry it with you.
You decide to smile or to cry.
You determine your happiness or sadness.
Why are evil people set free, and good folks done injustice?
Do you realize that when you are sad and depressed, most of the time you are merely recalling a painful memory, like a thorn in your heart? The depression takes root when you are lonely. No, not the usual lonely. The kind of loneliness that happens when you find yourself surrounded by people, yet you feel alone. Different. When you see smiles, yet you cannot seem to force a smile out on your face, no matter how hard you try. The crowd goes one way, but you go the other. Because certain experiences breed different people, and certain memories trigger different emotions when something at present happens.
Sorrowful things happen. Happy things happen. That is life, at least from my 18 year old point of view. Yet this is where people differ. We can choose to learn from these experiences. Because something like this has happened, we can understand how other people must feel when they are going through something similar.
That is why I find people like this, more understanding, and willing to care about others. They may be taciturn, but they listen. You may not be a good speaker, but you can be a good listener.
A monk once said that carrying the coffins of the past is heavy. Why did he term it coffin? Because the memories were dead, there is nothing you can do to relive it(the memories, i mean). If you cannot learn from it, if you cannot bring yourself to forget, to throw it away, put it down. Just for a moment. And live in the moment.
The moment of now is what you can change.
The moment of now is what changes you.
Then you can resume carrying the burden. It is respites like this that refills your fuel tank to continue life. When things are too much to handle, and you are fed up with thinking. Stop thinking. Just give your mind the much needed rest from the endless bickering.
Of course, saying it is much easier than doing it. Even more when you are hurting. But sometimes, no matter how much others explain to you, you will never understand, not unless you get through the worst moments of it by yourself.
Everybody has their own coffin of memories, be it happy or sad ones, on their back. But why can some people smile their way through everything? And why do some rich spoilt brats whine at the tiniest things?
I guess, in the end, you make your own world. You decide whether or not to move on or carry it with you.
You decide to smile or to cry.
You determine your happiness or sadness.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
hehe..
I found these jokes on the net..hehe..Well, if it does put a smile on your face, it is funny enough for me. :)
TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR FALLING ASLEEP AT YOUR DESK
1 "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2 "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
3 "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
4 "Amen"
5 "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
6 "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
7 "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."
8 "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
9 "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
10
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
Two drunk guys
Two Drunk guys walk into a bar...you'd think they'd see it coming.
Why did the foal cough ?
Because he was a little horse !
Cowboy and the Indians
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse."
The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off.
Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing."
The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."
The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horses ear, then slaps it on the ass.
Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man - going to die tomorrow and can only think of one thing."
The last day comes, and the chief says, "This your last wish, white man. What you want?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."
The Indians bring him his horse.
The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, Read my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"
TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR FALLING ASLEEP AT YOUR DESK
1 "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2 "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
3 "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
4 "Amen"
5 "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
6 "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
7 "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."
8 "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
9 "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
10
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
Two drunk guys
Two Drunk guys walk into a bar...you'd think they'd see it coming.
Why did the foal cough ?
Because he was a little horse !
Cowboy and the Indians
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse."
The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off.
Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing."
The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."
The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horses ear, then slaps it on the ass.
Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man - going to die tomorrow and can only think of one thing."
The last day comes, and the chief says, "This your last wish, white man. What you want?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."
The Indians bring him his horse.
The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, Read my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"
The world in a day
This is my first post for my first blog, and hmmm...since this is my first post, i shall have to be quite general before i delve deeper into certain topics of conversation. Here goes nothing...
The world is never fair. Let's face it, life is never a bed full of roses, everywhere in the world people are suffering, including us. We suffer in so many ways, be it an unfulfilled desire (from physical and mental cravings) or physical pain. After the onslaughts of a myriad of natural disasters and unending war campaigns, humanity has been hanging on a thread, struggling -in so many parts of the world- for survival. Yet once we safely conclude that the danger is past, another evil strikes us unawares. The recent Sichuan earthquake is proof enough that we are never too safe, never too far away from danger, from obliteration. So many lives lost, more injured, and even more homeless (approximately 4.8 million), and -brace yourselves- the numbers are steadily rising. What have they done to deserve such a complete wipe out?
While the victims of this earthquake are suffering so many losses, in other parts of the world, people like me sit comfortably on our chairs and type away the words that never seem to end. We weave our words into an intricate pattern, hoping it might do some good, for us and the ones around us. Whenever I strike a conversation with anyone regarding the calamities that have befallen us recently, people tend to grow silent, sympathize with the victims, before changing the topic of conversation so professionally I find myself forgetting the pain and suffering others are going through. I admit, even I try not to think about such events, such catastrophes, such trials for humanity.
After thousands of years of civilization, you would presume that we would be one and united, no matter the skin color, religion and language that drives us apart. You would think that after so many years, we would begin to respect our differences and start mending the wounds of battles of so many years past. Haven't we had enough? Why do some suffer when they do not want to, while others place themselves in the very abyss of suffering, the pit of agony, embroiled in nefarious activities such as drug-dealing?
Depressing right? That is if you think of these matters the way we are taught to in school or our families. That everything should be fair and square. When has the world ever been fair, or show any semblance of equality? History? Those are testimonials that scream iniquity. That is where the root of suffering lies. We have a universe of cravings, and one of them is thinking we deserve more than this...this current situation, but when we are denied it, we scream defiance at fate, destiny or God. Who ever told you life was fair? Some children are born brilliant, precociously articulate and imbued with an innate sense of humor that rightfully earns the love and approval of others; some on the other hand, are often treated as rubbish just because of a certain lack of approval or a few nods of the heads.
Perhaps, try as we might to fight the shackles of time and fate, we are unable to change the world as a whole. But where do we start? Right here *points at heart**btw this is very lame*.
The mind is where the suffering begins, where it spreads its poison and intoxicates the pure mind. The mind is also where we end this suffering. Where we begin our first step to a brighter future, maybe not everyone's future, but just our future. Do you remember how infectious a smile can be? Not the look-at-me-I'm-so-super duper-handsome smile, but rather the goofy smile that comes from the heart. When we start our lives with such positivity, it is infectious, most importantly to the ones we love. Isn't that what we want? Aren't we making life a little bit fairer for them when we show them we care? And, isn't that making the world fairer? Well, maybe just a miniscule speck of dust compared to a universe, but nevertheless, it changes those around us, first and foremost.
My good friend Brian once told me, love is the only rational act. Hmmm...although i do not agree wholeheartedly, it does bring a good ring to my ears when i say those words.
The world is never fair. Let's face it, life is never a bed full of roses, everywhere in the world people are suffering, including us. We suffer in so many ways, be it an unfulfilled desire (from physical and mental cravings) or physical pain. After the onslaughts of a myriad of natural disasters and unending war campaigns, humanity has been hanging on a thread, struggling -in so many parts of the world- for survival. Yet once we safely conclude that the danger is past, another evil strikes us unawares. The recent Sichuan earthquake is proof enough that we are never too safe, never too far away from danger, from obliteration. So many lives lost, more injured, and even more homeless (approximately 4.8 million), and -brace yourselves- the numbers are steadily rising. What have they done to deserve such a complete wipe out?
While the victims of this earthquake are suffering so many losses, in other parts of the world, people like me sit comfortably on our chairs and type away the words that never seem to end. We weave our words into an intricate pattern, hoping it might do some good, for us and the ones around us. Whenever I strike a conversation with anyone regarding the calamities that have befallen us recently, people tend to grow silent, sympathize with the victims, before changing the topic of conversation so professionally I find myself forgetting the pain and suffering others are going through. I admit, even I try not to think about such events, such catastrophes, such trials for humanity.
After thousands of years of civilization, you would presume that we would be one and united, no matter the skin color, religion and language that drives us apart. You would think that after so many years, we would begin to respect our differences and start mending the wounds of battles of so many years past. Haven't we had enough? Why do some suffer when they do not want to, while others place themselves in the very abyss of suffering, the pit of agony, embroiled in nefarious activities such as drug-dealing?
Depressing right? That is if you think of these matters the way we are taught to in school or our families. That everything should be fair and square. When has the world ever been fair, or show any semblance of equality? History? Those are testimonials that scream iniquity. That is where the root of suffering lies. We have a universe of cravings, and one of them is thinking we deserve more than this...this current situation, but when we are denied it, we scream defiance at fate, destiny or God. Who ever told you life was fair? Some children are born brilliant, precociously articulate and imbued with an innate sense of humor that rightfully earns the love and approval of others; some on the other hand, are often treated as rubbish just because of a certain lack of approval or a few nods of the heads.
Perhaps, try as we might to fight the shackles of time and fate, we are unable to change the world as a whole. But where do we start? Right here *points at heart**btw this is very lame*.
The mind is where the suffering begins, where it spreads its poison and intoxicates the pure mind. The mind is also where we end this suffering. Where we begin our first step to a brighter future, maybe not everyone's future, but just our future. Do you remember how infectious a smile can be? Not the look-at-me-I'm-so-super duper-handsome smile, but rather the goofy smile that comes from the heart. When we start our lives with such positivity, it is infectious, most importantly to the ones we love. Isn't that what we want? Aren't we making life a little bit fairer for them when we show them we care? And, isn't that making the world fairer? Well, maybe just a miniscule speck of dust compared to a universe, but nevertheless, it changes those around us, first and foremost.
My good friend Brian once told me, love is the only rational act. Hmmm...although i do not agree wholeheartedly, it does bring a good ring to my ears when i say those words.
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