First my apologies for not posting or commenting this week during ICLW. I sliced my left pointer finger open and its made it difficult to type. I was reading but typing was painful and inconvenient so my apologies. My finger is finally cooperating and healed enough that I can type a little bit before the pain kicks in.

So while this will be a short but sweet post, I do have a favor to ask of you, my fellow IF bloggers. I have a dear friend who I’ve been incredibly close to since grade 2. We’ll call her “A” as she is not one to publicly share their struggle and I am one of the few outside her immediate family who know the details. We’ve had our ups and downs over the years but she’s still an important part of my life and I’m grateful for her. But one thing we had in common that we didn’t know until last year is that we are both dealing with infertility. They are dealing with unexplained fertility and after almost 5 years of trying, local doctors finally got their heads out of their collective asses (and she started demanding what she knows she deserves) and she is finally going for her consultation at the same infertility clinic I went to back in March. She’s a bit nervous about the appointment but still excited to know that they may finally be moving forward after years of being at a standstill.

My request to all of you is to please keep her in your thoughts. The appointment is Wednesday afternoon and I just want her to know that we are all thinking about her. Could you say a prayer or chant, send positive vibes, good thoughts and best wishes her way to know that as scared/worried/freaked out as she is, people are thinking about her. I will pass on all these thoughts and send her a direct link to this post so she can read those words for herself.

Thank you in advance for keeping her in your thoughts.

xoxo
❤

Just wanted to stop by, let you know that I’m still alive.

This weekend (today actually) was the baby shower I got talked into hosting for my friend. And this weekend was madness and insanity. Since Friday, I’ve had 2 days of last minute prep and baking for the baby shower, 2 birthday parties for my friends children, a minor emotional breakdown early in the weekend, I sliced my left pointer finger open and all this on less than 10 hours sleep total all weekend. I got my period 2 weeks late this Thursday before all this kid/baby centered weekend started just to screw with my emotions. My pregnant friend finally realized how much her shower was affecting me emotionally and held me while I cried through everything I finally gathered the guts to tell her. She understood I was happy for her but that it truly was mixed with my own pain and misery. She went so far as to say that if I couldn’t come she would understand and there was enough help.

I thankfully had very concerned friends who texted and called me all weekend to check on my mental status because they knew that showers are a trigger for me. Thank you especially to Jess, Amy, Ang B, Karen, Kell and Katie just to name a few. And to my twitter girls who checked in on me too!

But at the end of the day, we got through it, even though we were down a co-host at the last minute for the shower and the other co-host pissing me off and making me very late this morning when she knew I wanted to be on the road by 9:30 and then claiming the big door prize at the shower even though she contributed to the prizes and made it clear that she was a co-host Cause honestly, it made it looked rigged, especially when she took part in and won one of the other games too. In my mind, if you are hosting you don’t take part in the games. Otherwise, no tears and no high emotions at the shower, I had plenty to keep myself busy and friends to sit with when I needed a breather and rest my feet. I like to think that when I treat it like a job, it makes it easier to detach emotionally from the situation and the topic at hand, plus sitting with friends and only friends who know my situation makes it easier too, because they walk into the protector role and talk about everything but the situation at hand. So thanks to my girl’s night girls (and my mom!), just having you there helped so much!

I will sit down this week and go into details about the weekend, but for now, I’m so tired I can’t even think straight. (So obviously, my apologies for spelling mistakes or terrible wording.)

You hear that? It’s my pillow, calling my name…night all!

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been dreading today. I’ve dreaded the feeling of being left out. I’ve dreaded the mixed emotions of my own pain at the fight to become a mom but that fight being forgotten by the general public and still celebrating the holiday with the Mothers who I truly love and know deserve this day. My own mother asked me if I was going to be up to visiting with her today because if not, shes all alone today because Mike lives in Edmonton and my father is away for work. And that’s when my heart broke. So many out there don’t have their mother’s with them to celebrate the day and I am dreading the day.

So after that, I set my resolve and changed my plans from hiding under a blanket with a container of chocolate chip cookie and brownie ice cream and Lego Pirates on my Xbox and made the decision to embrace the holiday. I’m giving myself a bit of pampering at my friends house (it pays to have a friend who’s an esthetician- Thanks Ang!) then its off to my mom’s where I’m going to make her a nice supper as my gift to her. We are sorta meeting half way on this though. My mom understands the pain as much as she can and she just wants to spend today with me. So we are staying away from jam packed restaurants and enjoying our time together at mom’s and I’m going to cook for her.

But while I’m making the best of the day, I’m also here to send out a special wish. I’m sending out Mother’s Day wishes to my mom, grandmother and mother in law. To my friends and family who are mom’s and those that are about to be mom’s in the next 9 or less months. And of course all the mother’s of my friends. They are pretty awesome too.

But I also want to take a moment and send out a special wish. A special wish to all my “Someday Mommies”. The ones who may be struggling a bit today. The women who want to be a mom but can’t just yet. A special wish for the women in the IF community. A special wish for those that have gone down the sometimes very difficult path of living child-free after infertility. A special wish for those who have angel babies. A special wish for all the women who are cycling right now or in the middle of treatments. A special wish for those taking a breather from treatments or for those that are saving up for treatments. A special wish for those that love their furbabies. Just because we don’t have a child in our arms (yet), doesn’t mean that we’re not already mother’s in our hearts.

So Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mom’s, someday mom’s, and mom’s in your heart out there today!

So here’s what’s going on. Thoughts and comments from others cycling would be greatly appreciated. And for those that read my blog regularly but don’t want to read about a woman’s cycle, then just bypass this post. 

I’m 11 days late.

For those stumbling across my blog for the first time from the ICLW listing, I’ll give you some background. We are dealing with male factor (low sperm count) all of my tests have come back showing I am fine. I’m waiting to see a local gyno to do some of my pre work ups in getting ready for IVF. My cycle is usually dead on. 28 day cycles, period lasts 4 days medium to heavy flow during 3 and the half a day of spotting on each end of my period. It runs this way like clockwork and has for years. I can count on one hand how many times I have been really late (3 times, Christmas 2010 and 2011 a week late both times, and one time before Christmas 2010 where I went a week and a half late). Every 3 or 4 cycles, I’ll be a day or two late or early but still within my normal time frame.

While we save for IVF, we are still trying with timed intercourse and during my ovulation period, we had sex every 48 hours. We are on no meds, other than my thyroid medication. No fertility meds to possibly screw up our cycles.

A week and a half before my period was due I spotted for 4 days. Never enough to stain my underwear, just when I wiped. But the spotting was dark and it seemed to be old blood clearing out of my system (dark brown and a bit clumpy- sorry for the TMI). For about an hour on day 2 of spotting, I had a small bit of regular blood but it was very light in color and was gone after about an hour or so and none of it stained my underwear.

I’ve had nothing since. I’ve had an upset stomach, very sore boobs, mood swings and a heightened sense of smell and I’m sleeping more at night. These generally aren’t symptoms that I have with my regular cycles. Normal for me are headaches, some tiredness, cramping and the dreaded diarrhea in the week leading up to my period. I’m so regular in this regard, my girlfriends know my cycles as well as I do just by watching my actions and how often I go to the bathroom…sad but very true facts (plus some of us tend to cycle together).

In the past 10 days I have taken at least 6 pregnancy tests (not all at once, just every couple of days) and they are all coming back negative. So at this point I’m waiting for AF to show her face and resigned myself to wasting all that money on HPT’s. I’m expecting it to show on Sunday because my AF has a really sick sense of humor and likes to torture me. If I don’t have AF or a positive test by Monday, I’m calling my doctor.

But more or less, I’m looking for feedback. If anyone could give me honest opinions, its the others out there that know their every movement of their cycles. I really don’t know what to think. Because I’ve resigned to the fact that I will get AF, I’m not stressing myself out. I’ve been incredibly emotional and feeling low, but very little of it has to do with anything other than my mind thinking this is a good time to break down over nothing.

Honestly? I think I just needed to let go of all of this in a way where its out there and I feel like I’m not carrying this alone anymore. Maybe that will help?

So, for the better part of a week and a half I have been getting calls on my cell phone from TELUS account management telling me to contact them. That’s fine and all, but here’s the thing, I don’t have a TELUS account. Not now, not ever. When this started, I was getting a call once a day, during the day when my daytime limits are in effect. This has gradually grown from one call a day to 4 times a day (I just answered my 4th call from them today). The first time I was told there is nothing I can do but ignore the calls. But these calls are going against my minutes. And the calls are increasing. Finally one time the automated message gave me a reference number, I called with it and the agent was just as confused as I was, told me that they removed my number and the calls should stop. But they didn’t they kept on happening. So I finally got pissed off enough that I emailed account management with a nasty cease and desist or face legal matters. I’m half tempted to send them my next phone bill so they can cover what they are costing me when I go over my minutes.

So for your viewing pleasure and so that I have a record of this email so they can’t claim that I never emailed them, I share the email with you:

OK Telus,

Enough is enough. I have called numerous times, given you my phone number and any information your automated message has left me and I’m STILL GETTING CALLED MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY FROM YOUR COMPANY.

The facts:

I do not, nor have I ever had an account with TELUS. EVER!!!!! I am a Bell customer and have been since I moved out of my parents home (and they are Bell customers as well).
I may have had an interest in TELUS but not now, because I am sick and tired of being called on my CELL PHONE (WHICH IS COSTING ME MONEY EACH TIME YOU CALL) about an account that I don’t have with you.
I started getting this call last week, once a day. NOW, I’m getting calls 3-4 times a day FOR AN ACCOUNT THAT I DON’T HAVE WITH YOU.
I don’t care if anyone has me listed as a contact, I want it removed INSTANTLY or I will contact my lawyer about whether these calls are allowed as I have not given TELUS my number and have not OK’d you to have this number as a contact for ANY ACCOUNT ON FILE.

The last time I was called, they told me that it was for an account for a Belinda something or other, I don’t know a Belinda. I have called twice, the first person in no short terms told me I was shit out of luck and to just ignore the calls. The second time I had some information to go on and gave it to the agent on the phone, they confirmed the information and told me that they removed my number. Since then the calls stopped for about 12 hours and then picked up to 3-4 calls a day.

I answered this last call at 4:20pm today (10/05/12) and they gave me this reference number: 2289223. Now I don’t care who owns this account, but if my number is not taken off this account immediately, I will take this email, contact Bell for my phone records and contact my lawyer. I will also be sending your company my phone bill. Because if you are going to harass my cell phone multiple times a day during the hours where I do not have unlimited minutes, you should pay for the minutes when I go over. I was told that there is no “do not call” list, but there must be something you should/can do to stop the harassment as I am not a customer nor do I take part in any of your services. Because right now, that is what these calls are bordering on, harassment.

Thank you for showing your true colors as a company. I will have nothing to do with you and tell everyone I know and publicly complain about you to anyone that will listen. 

Remove my number, stop calling me or face legal matters. Simple as that.

Seriously, this is getting completely pathetic. 

For any Canadian customers out there who may decide to go with TELUS for any of your phone services, consider how I am being treated as a non customer trying to stop communication that I don’t want and ask yourself if this is what you want from a company. I’m just so sick and tired of companies thinking that they can do this to people and get away with it. I’m done being nice. Being nice gets me nowhere. Meet Kimberly the bitch. I’m ready.

I’m in a mood to post cause I need to write. But I have nothing serious to write about, so random Tuesday post, here you are:

I decided to introduce my mother to the greatness that is How I Met Your Mother. I showed her my favorite episode, “Slap Bet” where the slap bet starts and we find out that Robin was a Canadian pop star in the 90’s. My mother was tired and missed the best parts of the episode, next time I’ll try when she’s not so tired.

~*~*~

I finished my friends baby blanket and now I’m working on a new lego themed baby blanket for close friends in Halifax. Actually its the couple we stayed with when we traveled for our appointment at the fertility clinic.

But in working on that blanket, I’m sorta feeling bad that I didn’t make a blanket for Aunt Moe’s daughter and her husband and their child (while this one will be made for Aunt Moe’s son and his wife). I was going through a very hard time during the entire time of her pregnancy and just couldn’t force myself to make anything, especially for a baby and my own issues that they were married after us, yet pregnant and gave birth before we can get pregnant. But now I want to because I am in a healthy enough mindset and I’m starting to take joy from my crafting again. I fear that making this blanket will cause drama amongst the future mommy and the other mommy because I made something for one but not the other. But the couple we stayed with has done so much to help us. Ugh.

~*~*~

Chris and I started watching Game of Thrones. I have been completely against both the show and the books. But mostly because I am getting a lot of pressure for everyone that its such a great show and I needed to watch it. Sometimes I jump on the bandwagon, other times I don’t care for it. But outside of Lord of the Rings, that area of the genre has little effect on me.

But the other night while visiting some friends, they suggested that I watch it as a making of was on their TV. I told Chris that if he really wanted to watch it, I would give it at least an episode or two. Well…I’m 3 episodes in and I want to watch more of it. Plus, Sean Bean, I love him. I really don’t want to admit that I like the show, but it kept my attention and its starting to grow on me.

~*~*~

Over the years, I’ve lost count how many times I have read the Harry Potter books. They are easily one of my favorite series and I can easily get swept up into the series if you pass me the book and dare me to read one page then stop.

So the other day, I was cleaning up and I stumbled across one of our copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (yes we have multiple copies of some of the books) and I sat down to look at it for one second. The next thing I knew, it grew dark outside and I was 80+ pages into the book. So needless to say, I randomly picked up the book and I am now carrying it around with me while I read it…again…and I really never finished cleaning up either…

~*~*~

Chris tracked down a copy of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean for me and I’m now a good 2 hours into it. The Lego games are my addiction. I am at 98.5% on Lego Harry Potter and because of glitches in the game, I can’t get the 100% I need to unlock all of the achievements and its pissing me off beyond words. I hate that I put so much into that game and a glitch that is so common is preventing me from perfecting the game. I could try again, but there is no guarantee that it will work this time. So much frustration.

I also have Chris tracking down a bunch of other Lego games for me as well as other games for my Xbox.

~*~*~

Last night, Chris and I went to finally see The Avengers. And I loved it. The banter, the men, Tony Stark (so much love!) I have an unending love for RDJ and Tony Stark that is unparalleled. Seriously. Just as the movie was about to start, I looked at Chris and flat out told him, “I love you but please don’t hold me accountable for any moans or sounds that come out of me when Tony Stark shows up on screen”. Thankfully Chris loves me and just deals with my insane crush on RDJ and RDJ as Tony Stark.

When I got home and was getting ready for bed, I noticed what I was wearing at the movies. I was wearing my ThinkGeek Sunnydale High School shirt. At The Avengers movie. It just made me seem like this ubergeek that I sort of am. For those not in the know and don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll explain. Sunnydale High School is from Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV show. Buffy is Joss Whedon’s creation. Joss, if you don’t know already, directed The Avengers. And if you watched any of Joss’s shows (Buffy, Angel, Firefly) you would have caught many of the standard Joss-isms all throughout the movie. The amusing one liners. When Chris got home (we met each other at the movies because we both came from work) I showed him what shirt I was wearing and we had a chuckle because we both know that if any fans seen what I was wearing, I was geeking out far more than I planned to.

Plus, the smack down that the Hulk gave Loki? I’m still laughing.

~*~*~

And finally, I took my grandmother shopping today. 4 hours, 3 stores and a backseat completely filled with bags. This woman could make shopping a sport. I’m completely exhausted. But on the plus side, I did finally buy season 6 of How I Met Your Mother on DVD which I’ve been trying to get my hands on for months.

Then of course me and Grammy fought with each other over her trying to give me money for gas. In the end she hid it in the belly of my large purse while I was driving so I would have to dig for it to give it back. Then of course when I lecture her on it, she uses the whole “I can’t hear you because my hearing is bad” and turns down her hearing aid. ugh. I love the woman, but there’s a reason we don’t do this everyday.

I hope everyone is having a decent Wednesday!

So, over the past couple of days (more like the better part of this week), I have been hit with low depressing mental time. All I want to do is lay in bed and stare off into space. Last night I seemed to hit my lowest of low points. I came home to Chris and some of his friends and I forced my smile on, talked to them for a few minutes and then just told them that I was tired and I was gonna go lay down and watch some TV. The guys are pretty cool so they don’t mind. But I was so close to just breaking down. Chris could tell that things weren’t right. I asked him to help me with something in the bedroom for a second and he came in right away and closed the door. The second the door was closed, I just broke down. He held me while I cried. I felt terrible because I really have no reason to feel like this. But the upside to this? When you have a husband who has dealt with an anxiety disorder since he hit his teens, he understands without having to explain it and hes wonderful at supporting me during this.

So where does this lead to? Earlier in the week, one of my friends asked me to help her with her Scentsy company because she had a table at a local fundraising event. I said I would because its really one of the few times we can get together and enjoy an evening out. While there, I seen a purse and fell in love with it. But I didn’t bother to bring money with me, because if I don’t bring it, I can’t spend it. Later in the evening, they were going around selling even split tickets. I wasn’t going to get any because I have never won on an even split but at the last second decided to buy some. Well turns out I won! 372.00 at that! So I treated myself to that purse I fell in love with and I’m enjoying the extra money.

Just before the end of the night, I got a call from dad who is still away at work. I couldn’t figure out why he would call me on a Saturday, it’s my day off and if he calls me from away its one of 3 things: 1. he needs me to do something for/answer a question about work, 2. his laptop is acting up and I need to talk him through fixing it, or 3. his pacemaker (which is what he calls his iPod) is broken and I need to talk him through a reset. None of these are out of the norm, I still remember getting satellite calls from the middle of the Gobi Desert in Mongolia telling me that his “piece of shit” (his laptop) isn’t working and I have to fix it now. He was never very happy when I told him to book me a flight. But since he has learned to explain the error messages. Thank goodness. But this time, it wasn’t about that. He wanted to tell me about the friend he found.

For a bit of back story, when my father first started traveling away for work, he actually started traveling with some local friends he knew. Some good friends that he used to work with in the coal mines. One of them was Rick. Dad always called him Da. He looks like a big mean biker, but hes possibly one of the nicest men that I have ever met, would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. So Da, my father and about 5 others traveled back and forth all the time. About 7 or 8 years ago when that specific contract ended, they all took jobs all over the country and for my father, he went overseas. But where people travel so much, they tend to meet each other in their travels and whenever one ran into someone else, they always asked if the other have seen the rest of the crew and they play catch up. For a couple of years, Da had a hard time. He struggled at first with the travel, his wife cheated on him, they separated and then Da sorta just fell off the radar. No one heard from him, no one seen him and everyone started asking around.

Every year, dad desperately tried to track him down, talking to all their mutual friends. 6 years and counting at this point. He tried everything. When I got engaged, he put out feelers so that we could get him back home for the wedding. The last time dad was home, he mentioned that he was gonna ask some of his co-workers out west to keep an eye out for him. He feared that the life out west with everything that happened earlier may have left him in bad shape, dead or close to it because of drugs or alcohol or something else. So I was shocked when dad called to tell me that he found Rick. But then he shocked me. He asked about my neighbor in the next apartment. I mentioned that he was an older guy, beard, looked like a bit of a biker but I rarely seen him because he works out west with his girlfriend. So then dad told me that that was Rick. Dad’s been searching everywhere for the man and hes been my neighbor since December. I didn’t recognize him because it was late and hes changed his looks since I last seen him, but Rick confirmed it was me when he described Chris to dad.

It was one of those moments when the world suddenly feels so small. It had been so long since my dad heard anything from Rick or about his whereabouts and then he finds him only to find out that he’s his daughter’s neighbor and has been since December. And weeks ago, Chris and I along with our friends who live downstairs were talking about the mysterious neighbors upstairs and how they were the one tenants in this building that we knew nothing about. We knew they spent most of their time working out west but their apartment was there for the few times that they were home. So ever since I got off the phone with dad, the song, “It’s A Small World After All” has been on repeat in my mind. I caught myself humming it on the drive home. Because right now, it really does feel like a small world.

This may be my favorite picture from the weekend.

I love my grandmother. I love my grandfather. I am a very lucky woman. Two of my four grandparents are still alive and they literally live 3 minutes away from my parents home (which is also my workplace). I’ve been one of the lucky people to grow up within a close distance of my grandparents. I have that history with my grandparents, they have been there for all of the milestones of my life thus far. Many grandparents are “vacation grandparents” (ie. they live away from you and only visit once or twice every year or two on special occasions). Myself, my brother, and my older cousin Jennifer are the only ones out of the large number of grandchildren who had this wonderful gift. Over the past couple of years, this also means that we are here for all of their medical procedures. Over the past 5 years, my grandmother had a cancerous tumor that is now shrunk and the tumor is no inactive. The chemotherapy affected the feeling in one of her legs and she now walks with a cane. My grandfather is more or less at the end of his life and even the doctors don’t know how hes still alive. He needs a heart valve replacement but his lungs are in such terrible shape that he would not survive the anesthetic for the procedure. He’s also on a catheter for the rest of his life because of his prostate. He will continue to be in bad health until he dies. He could continue to live for years, or just die in his sleep one night. They told us that there is no explanation for why he is doing so well despite his medical problems, but we enjoy every day that we have with him.

So with all this going on, the only local family that are here to help are my parents, myself, my cousin J and my uncle R. Everyone helps where they can. My uncle R caused some drama within the family and some of my uncles have blamed a lot of this on my father who has taken extended time off from work to take care of my grandparents when no one else has, but the truth is R kept on telling us that he was too busy to help us because he had a life and work, and dad called him on it and pointed out that they had lives too that were put on hold to do their share of the work and more. We also have a life and work and we give non stop to help out. I have, at times, taken my grandparents to appointments and take my grandmother shopping during the week. I don’t have to, but I want to help. When my grandfathers health was at a particular low point and we thought we were losing him, I volunteered to go on a seasonal layoff from work to be able to help out more. My parents shouldn’t carry the brunt of this burden alone.

He eats my lunch on me and now hes sucking up for more.

So now that the back history is there, you can possibly find the humor is my situation. Last weekend was a busy one for me. I was house/pet sitting for my parents while they took a trip up to Antigonish to check out the sample home of the house they are building. I stayed from Friday afternoon til Sunday afternoon. During those 3 days, I had 4 birthdays to celebrate during 3 parties. So needless to say, it was a busy weekend for me. On my way into town, I stopped for groceries to do my baking for party #2 on Saturday night and to pick up something quick for lunch so that I wasn’t trying to eat the computer desk before I head out for supper.  My grandmother thought that I was taking her shopping on Friday and Friday afternoon Poppy called to see if I was still going up. I told them that I couldn’t but I would take her on Monday. Poppy still needed me to run to the drugstore for him so I went up to their place to get the prescription, and when I walked in, Grammy was dressed, coat on, purse ready and waiting for me to take her shopping. The grandparents pulled a fast one on me even though I had a supper reservation to celebrate 2 of my friends birthdays that night. I ended up taking her just grocery shopping and exhausted myself in the process.

Crazy looking me and one of the birthday girls!

After that, I came home and tried to start some of the baking for party #2 but I didn’t get far. In my rush to get to my grandparents and assuming I would be right back, I forgot to put my lunch in the fridge. When I got home, the container that held my food when I purchased it was on the floor, empty, with a very guilty dog looking back at me from the other side of the scene of the crime.Needless to say, I was pissed, tired and now starving with no time to make myself something new to eat because I had to change and then I had to leave pick up one of the girls for the party/dinner reservation. The supper was fun a normal girls night out only upgraded to a restaurant over Supernatural and crocheting to general catching up over good food. We stayed there til about 10ish. I drove one of the girls home, bowed out of karaoke with the rest of the girls claiming exhausting from shopping with Grammy, 2 more parties over the next two days and the baking still needing completion on my part.

The Cake after Chris had his way with it…

The next day, I woke up to baking most of the day til my husband showed up to visit me. Chris and I fought most of the time leading up to us leaving for the surprise 30th birthday party for my friends husband. But the party was fun. It was a small group of us, none of us really drinking but just a chance for us to all hang out together in a long time. The cake was a disaster because the girl they hired made it wrong, so after the push from everyone, Chris “fixed” the cake by going all “Dexter” on it. That party lasted well past 2 am when I finally got home to a dog “doing the pee dance” at the door.

I woke up the next more not very well rested and my back sore because I’m not used to sleeping on the beds at mom and dads and I have a hard time sleeping without my husband next to me and his snore to lull me to sleep. (sidenote: isn’t it funny how your spouses annoying habits drive you batty at first, but the second you are away from them, you crave them and cling to them like a sense of comfort?) I missed my kitties. I missed home. But my time wasn’t up yet. Mom and dad were due home around 7. I had to clean up and get ready to go to my 3rd party/get-together to celebrate my pregnant friends birthday (only a few days belated), but it was also a baby shower pow wow too. I was gonna bake but ran out of time. Then I had to backtrack til I was almost home to pick up one of the other girls and make my way out to friends house. This was the most casual of birthday events. We had a quick rundown of stuff for the shower and moved onto chocolate cake, TV shows playing in the background, chips and dip and general gossip and catching up. And while this was suppose to be the shortest of events, I ended up staying far later than I planned and got home around 11pm. Chris was out for the evening at a friends house so I got in my pj’s, crawled into my comfy bed and tried to stay up long enough to say goodnight to my husband.

I have both a love and hate relationship with these weekends. It’s wonderful to see family and friends for a bit. To catch up and hang out as a group and socialize. But sometimes I just want to stay home. I’m such a secluded homebody, and I love it. I don’t like bars or clubs (my only exception is my yearly pub crawl with my girls). My idea of a night out is board games, talking over campfires with friends, or meeting at a friends house to watch our show while we are all crocheting or knitting. Throw in an occasional visit with friends once a week and generally, I’ve hit my socializing quota. Unless, of course, you are offering spa days for me and then I’m running as fast as I can the second you mention it. I live a simple life. I craft, I play board games, I talk with my girls. I watch TV shows from beginning to end (right now, House M.D. and White Collar with Chris) at a staggering rate. I read and browse the internet and check in with my blogging friends. I play video games for hours on end. And I work. And the thing is, I love this life. Maybe I wish I had more money, maybe I wish I had an unending supply of sushi and my own in ground pool. And maybe I wish I got to the hairdressers more often cause not only does she cut my hair perfectly every single time, but we have similar taste in books, TV shows and movies and she always has something to suggest. But at the end of the day, I’m happy with this. For now. Until of course we can add to our family. But until then…yeah, this is cool with me…