All The Things!

Posted on February 22, 2013 by imfluffyowl

Lots of little updates:

Infertility Wise:

~Still nothing from my gyno’s office. But that secretary is a bitch so I’ll call the second I start my period (despite time of day) and demand that she schedule me or I report her and the office for their practices. Enough is enough.

~AART called me earlier this week and told me that CD21 bloodwork was ordered for me again. They are mailing me the form so I can go in for blood work. They still want to check for ovulation while my thyroid meds kick in. I’ll know if they are also testing my thyroid when I get the form in the mail. If not, I’ll either call them for the form or set that up through my family doc and just have the results forwarded to AART.

Everything Else:

~We were hit with a sudden storm last night. Not fun. We got enough snow to need to shovel. But the best part of today was when I got up, prepared to at least shovel out enough to get my car out only to see my neighbor going through it with his snow blower. I know he doesn’t mind doing it because we let him keep it in our garage, but damn it if I’m not beyond grateful to see it done and save myself some exhaustion.

~I’ve decided to bake for him and his wife to show my gratitude. Plus I’m told I’m an amazing baker.

~Brownies was tonight. The girls continue to amaze me at how amazing they are. Around late October/early November, we taught the girls about the 4 world centers of guiding. We assumed that because their attention was wandering despite our best efforts to make it extremely exciting. Tonight we talked about World Thi.nking Day which is the birthday of both Lord and Lady B.aden-Po.well. We talked about WAGGGS (Wo.rld Assoc.iation of Girl Gu.ides and Girl Sc.outs) and we tested them on their knowledge of the world centers. The girls amazed us when they actually got most of them right along with their locations. It’s so wonderful to see that they are taking something away from our time together. That things we are teaching them, are in fact, staying.

My inner self was totally doing this.

While my outer self was totally giving the girls two thumbs up.

~I came home tonight with the intention of pricing a guiding poncho for camp in mid-April so I have something to put all my badges and crests on. I ended up getting caught up in with all the guiding stuff. I now have a very expensive order on the go with clothing and fun stuff. Stop me before I buy all the guiding things. I NEED ALL THE THINGS. The site is so shiny and pretty and has fun things I want. It’s the place my wallet goes to die.

I’m trying my best to justify everything on this order. Hey, maybe I earned this treat? Right? Anyone?

And after all this. I’m not even getting the poncho. I realize that it would be cheaper to buy the materials and make it myself or ask Grammy to help me make it. *sigh*

~I finally watched The Lucky One when it popped up on my OnDemand menu. I don’t like Nicolas Sparks books, but I tend to love them when they are turned into movies. I have a soft spot for romantic and sappy girly movies. But can someone tell me when Zac Efron got so freaking hot?! I turned it on expecting a sappy movie with a man that was OK to look at and sorta let it play in the background while I read. Well as soon as Zac came on the screen, I glued my eyes to the screen and they never looked away, not even when hubby came to bed. Damn he got hot.

~I’m finally eligible for my phone upgrade and my shitty iPhone 3gs is finally going to be upgraded to a newer iPhone. I don’t know if I’ll do the 4s or go right to the 5. Depends on the contract. Since I got my iPad, my iPhone usage has dropped dramatically, so it doesn’t matter to me either way. I just desperately need a phone that doesn’t shut off at 60% battery. Especially considering that we don’t have a home phone, just our own separate cell phones.

~Tomorrow is also the next installment of taking the Brownies to a hockey game. We only have 2 girls going along with all 4 leaders which will make it much easier than last time when we had 15 girls to 2 leaders. Mom is coming with me, along with the other 3 leaders, their husbands/boyfriend and one of them is taking their oldest child. So we might get to watch some, if not all, of the game this time.At least bathroom runs will be much easier.

~Saturday is shopping with Grammy. I’m actually looking forward to it. I really enjoy shopping with my gram. We also have some plans in the evening with some friends.

~Sunday, I’m hoping to have a home day where I can actually get some baking done. My father in laws birthday is on Tuesday and I promised to bake for him. I’m also getting a care package ready to send up to Aunt Moe and her husband (the people we stayed with for my last AART appointment). She has MS and she got a less than stellar report last time so I wanted to send up some snacks that I know the two of them would enjoy. They loved my Christmas package that I sent up. I also wanna take a stab at making bread again. If it works out well, I’ll send some over to my awesome neighbor.

~I’m also trying to get the house ready for the beginning of March. I decided to host a passion party and the response has been amazing so far. So much so that I may have to move it from the living room to the basement just to be able to hold everyone. I’m just looking forward to having my friends come over. Some I haven’t seen in awhile and it would be nice to see them.

~Also, I still haven’t used my gift certificate for my hot stone massage. I don’t know why. Have I lost my mind? I have two gift certificates here waiting to be used. It’s not like I haven’t earned it. So I’m gonna call them tomorrow and see when they can take me next week. I think this will help me with the winter blahs and the bit of envy going through me over recent pregnancy announcements and the pending arrivals of others both in and out of the community. Take some time for me to realize that I may be dealing with infertility but infertility is not the whole of my life and to relax and remind myself that its OK to be both happy for them and envious of them at the same time and that at least those in the community get that and take no offense to my less than happy side. You know what? Maybe I’ll even splurge for a pedicure!

~And a completely random but still fun thing…me and Chris decided on our Halloween costumes. I know its really early and we don’t even have anywhere to wear them yet, but we are so excited. Now its just time to get everything ready as I will have to order some things online and talk to my friend about doing my makeup.

Winter Shed Blog Hop: Week 6

Posted on February 16, 2013 by imfluffyowl

It’s already week six of the winter shed blog hop! Time to check in on the past week. If you would like to join us in the Winter Shed Blog Hop, click on the picture to your right to read up and join!

To recap, I’ve highlighted my original goals and below each goal, I’ve noted my progress on each this week.

This weeks post is a bit late because I woke up to see that my hubby had a functioning Xbox and Lego Harry Potter Years 5-7 waiting for me. The Lego games are my crack and I easily lose hours of my life to these games in large chunks of time. Today, I lost 4 hours to it and I only remembered to post once Chris went to bed. So it’s here, just late.

Living a healthier life in 2013 in preparation for “Future Baby B”.

So my body is still trying to convince me that hotdogs will make me skinny. I normally hate hotdogs. But short of still fighting to eat breakfast, I am eating healthy and I’ve barely had any chocolate or sweets (which is great considering yesterday was valentines day).

I started yoga. I won’t dare take a class on it, but instead I’m doing it in the privacy of my own home. Maybe not the best choice for me as I’m overweight, clumsy, and have terrible balance. But it’s working. At the end of the workouts, my arms and legs feel like jelly. The other day though, I wiped out on my parents step and my butt got up close and personal with a couple of steps. So I’m pretty sore and my butt is pretty bruised so my work outs are limited for the time being til my tush isn’t so tender.

Last weeks yoga was cancelled due to the storm and I did yoga that night instead. But as long as the weather stays away this weekend, we will be going on Sunday. I’m actually getting a little excited about it.

To make progress towards resolving our infertility.

Still haven’t heard anything from gyno’s office. Not that I expected to, but AART is also unable to get a response from the secretary. Secretary is now avoiding their calls but AART are going to keep at it, if they continue to give them the run around too, they will either refer me to another local Gyno for the test and stop sending referrals to Dr. D or just have me go up to Halifax again in the spring to have the test done at the IWK.

Also got a call back with my test results. The full rundown is two posts back (titled “Help!”) but more or less, thyroid is still really high (this was before they doubled my dosage of synthroid) and my FSH level is 11. Normal FSH is 9 or lower. I’m also showing that I didn’t ovulate on that cycle. They don’t seem very concerned about it now because these things can be directly affected by my “really high” thyroid level. I will get my thyroid under control and then we can start checking everything else. We test my thyroid levels again in about 4 weeks and if I’m back into normal levels, we redo my cycle day blood work again. If my levels still need to be adjusted after the 6 weeks, we redo that process again til my levels are normal and then move forward.

So now, I continue to fight with my Gyno’s office on my CD1’s til this damn test is done all the while being a good girl and taking my folic acid, multivitamins and synthroid every night before bed.

To stop making people a priority in my life when I’m not even an option in theirs.

Our rescheduled dance is tomorrow night. Supper at 6:30 then the dance starts at 9. I’m very much looking forward to having a reason to get dressed up and finally use my new fancy purse that I won a few months ago.

I also schedule a passion party and the response has been great so far. I’m looking forward to having everyone over for a fun night.

To work towards making our house a home.

My bedroom is finally set up how I want it and there is even enough room for me to do my yoga in peace. I’m still staying on top of chores but that’s the extent of it.

Really, I clean but none of my other plans are working. I did dig out my nail polish from the spare room though so that’s something, right?

To expand my reading collection.

The book Beautiful Creatures caught my eye. I just started it yesterday and it feels good to get wrapped up in a book again instead of forcing myself through something til I enjoy it.

It’s a short and sweet one today and a bit late. I’m choosing to blame my husband for that one because he put an Xbox and Lego Harry Potter in front of me and I lost hours of my life. See you next Friday!

Love and hugs!
Kim

Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 15, 2013 by imfluffyowl

I have a confession to make. I hate Valentine’s Day.

Growing up, my parents never did anything other than buy a card for each other. They certainly never did anything with us for the holiday. In elementary school, I brought valentines to school, did valentines crafts in Brownies and Girl Guides, but again, never really did anything else and didn’t understand the importance of it. I knew my parents loved me with all their hearts, so I never understood why they would need to show it more so on that one day.

~*~*~

Once I hit my teenage years, I didn’t really date so it’s not like I had anyone to dote on me during that day every year. In grade 12 the entrepreneur class had a valentines day event where you could have a little bear with some candy hearts delivered to someone’s class. It was a big deal to everyone but me. Me and some friends joked about sending them to each other but then we forgot to bring money for it so we didn’t do it. Then Valentine’s Day showed up and during class someone came in and gave one to me. It was signed “from your secret admirer”. That particular class I was there with said friend who I was going to send one to and forgot and we were working in a group with a couple of other people. I instantly looked at friend, claimed she did it and then got pissed because I didn’t get to do it for her as well. Friend still claims to this day that she didn’t send it. I spent most of the class fighting with her, sure that she did. I now believe that said friend didn’t do it, but to this day I still don’t know who sent it to me. I have my suspicions, but only that. No one ever claimed that they sent it to me or approached me about it. Instead of feeling loved and special, I was embarrassed and suspicious. I wasn’t popular in school, I was picked on by a handful or rotten girls, I was overweight and I was the quintessential “band geek” and I was painfully shy (severely, painfully shy). I had 4 friends who I spent most of my time with, also band students. High school was not kind to me.

~*~*~

I didn’t date much. The one (and only) guy I dated before my husband was in grade 12, he was a friend and 2 years after I broke up with him (after a bland 2 months of dating, if that), he came out and admitted he was gay. So after high school, I spent most Valentine’s Days alone or working, because I was mostly the only single one amongst my friends. Years went by and almost 10 years ago I met Chris. We never celebrated it because, like my parents, his parents never made a big deal about it.

~*~*~

One year just around the time I started to date my husband, a friend broke up with her boyfriend a week or two before valentines day. She was really down and dreading the holiday. So a group of us made a plan to keep her busy. We heard that a local restaurant was making heart shaped pizzas in honor of the holiday so we booked a table for 12, went to the dollar store and bought tiaras, sashes, scepters and had a princess supper. We had a great night out, making it a night less about romantic love, but instead fun with friends.

~*~*~

This year is my first year back in Guiding since my junior leading days back in junior high. I loved my time in Guiding as a kid and as a teen and was happy to get involved again. I remember fondly that some of my favorite times, times that I truly came out of my shell, were moments in Brownies and Girl Guides. I’ve noticed that many in the States have issue with Scouting due to controversies, but I must say that Guiding in Canada (while both are a member of the same world organization) is very different from its American counterpart and many of the issues noted in the media, don’t seem to be an issue here. So I was looking for a reason and the right circumstances to show up, it presented itself at the right time and suddenly I was registering and helping out as a leader.

Me and fellow leader (and cousin) A at the Brownies and Sparks Travel the World event.

Me and the other two leaders from our group (and two of my very close friends) A and J from our Brownies and Sparks Travel the World event.

So suddenly it’s valentine’s day again, my first as a leader. And for the first time in years, I need to recognize valentines day and help prepare activities to help celebrate it. So as leaders, all 4 of us decided to focus on the positives of friendship. Last week, we did a project that was a new take on valentines. We made a stack of hearts for each girl. Each heart had a name of one of the other girls along with the 4 leaders. We told the girls to write one positive thing about each person on the back of their heart. After that, while the girls worked on the bags to hold the valentines, the leaders went through the stacks of hearts to make sure that all of the hearts were positive and to sort them into stacks for each girl. Brownies are generally 2nd and 3rd graders so we expected some less than positive ones in the mix. But we ended up getting a lesson from our girls. The girls wrote things like beautiful, thoughtful, helpful, caring, sweet. Others drew pictures or decorated the heart. I learned that the girls deserve a lot more credit than we give them and that despite their hyper nature and ability to find trouble, more often than not, they are a great group of girls.

The hearts that our Brownies worked on last week in prep for tonight.

So tonight we celebrated valentine’s day with them. We made sweets, the girls brought valentines to give to the other girls, I bought valentines for the first time in years to pass out to the girls and signed them from Fluffy Owl which is my newly appointed Owl name. (And since I’m new to this again, when did kids valentines get so advanced and complicated? the only ones I could find came with suckers and had an activity on the back for them.) We had an owl craft made out of hearts (because the owl is the symbol for brownies). And by the end of the night I was exhausted but found myself enjoying a valentine’s day, the first in years.

My valentine owl, valentines from my girls and the bag that one of the girls made me to hold my valentines. If I have to celebrate the holiday, I would take this over a fancy dinner and expensive gift in a heartbeat.

I didn’t have a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant. There was no fancy dressing up or roses or expensive gifts. There wasn’t even chocolate in a fancy heart shaped box. No glasses of wine over a candlelit dinner. Instead it was an owl craft, some homemade valentines and a bunch of loud girls laughing and filling themselves full of sugar. After that, I went for tea with two of the other leaders, we had a bitch fest about all the things in our lives that are bugging us, then I came home to a hubby nursing a migraine while I made myself the romantic supper of hotdogs and loading the dishwasher before I settled down to write. A glass of chocolate milk instead of wine and updating my blog instead of that magical candle lit dinner. But regardless of all that, this is the first time that I found myself taking any real sort of enjoyment from the holiday that so many people use to show their love for each other. It only took a group of 18 girls in the age range of 7-9 years old to show me how to enjoy the day again.

You know what, maybe I don’t hate this day as much as I thought I did…

Help!

Posted on February 13, 2013 by imfluffyowl

Finally got a call back from AART with my blood work results. The lab techs there seem to talk to you like you are also a lab tech so now I have to break down what they told me and that’s where I’m leaving it in your capable hands to help me break it down before I go all Dr. Google, Medicine Woman on it.

Blood work for last cycle. January 3rd, 22nd and 24th.

FSH level is 11.
Thyroid was still showing as high. This was the only thing I was told on the initial phone call just prior to my CD21. They upped my thyroid medication at that point with a plan to retest my thyroid levels in 6 weeks.
There was no sign of progesterone in my system during CD21 to CD23 so I didn’t ovulate at that time.
Despite that, I still started my period on time. 4 day normal period for my cycles.

Anybody wanna weigh in on this and break it down for me?

Winter Shed Blog Hop: Week Five!

Posted on February 8, 2013 by imfluffyowl

It’s already week five of the winter shed blog hop! Time to check in on the past week. If you would like to join us in the Winter Shed Blog Hop, click on the picture to your right to read up and join!

To recap, I’ve highlighted my original goals and below each goal, I’ve noted my progress on each this week.

Living a healthier life in 2013 in preparation for “Future Baby B”.

Since last Friday, my body has tried to convince me that the best diet in the world is the “only eat hot dogs and tater tots everyday” diet. I indulged one night and damn it was good. It was also CD1 so it was my get out of jail free day. Otherwise, I’m eating well under my calorie count but I’m also skipping out on breakfast too. I know, bad Kim. I’m also staying up all night and sleeping all day. Another big bad. But I’m slowly trying to switch back over. Each night I try to go to bed one hour earlier and get up on hour earlier. I’m currently laid off until my dads next contract picks up so I don’t exactly have any push to be up early and I honestly miss the motivation. Dare I say it, I miss work…

But on the plus side, me and two of my girlfriends are working together to change our lifestyles. Eating healthy, working out together and we just signed up for belly dancing. Our first class is Sunday provided that that nor’easter doesn’t prevent us from getting to it. Last weekend was a great workout. We spent the day doing a Brownies and Sparks Travel the World event and we spent an entire morning doing activities with our girls. By the time I got home that night, I was exhausted and sore. I always claim that a couple of hours with our Brownies leaves me feeling far more worked out than an afternoon at the gym.

And the big one that I’m happy about is that I weighed myself for the first time last night since our appointment in November. And I’m happy to report that in that time I’ve managed to lose 7.4lbs. I don’t know what my biggest loss was, if I lost more and gained some back or just gradually lost to this point, but I’m down in weight. It’s good to know that the lifestyle change is at least starting to work and show in my weight. 🙂

To make progress towards resolving our infertility.

A bit frustrated with this one. CD1 hit and like I was told, I called to schedule my HSG as soon as I was aware of AF. The secretary for my Gyno brushed me off, told me that there was no opening, I should’ve called sooner and I’ll have to “try my luck next cycle” to get an appointment. I told her I was told differently and that this is currently my only hold up with my fertility clinic. The results of this test will give them all the pieces of the puzzle needed to figure out where I’m at in this and what our options will be, treatment wise. The secretary continued to give me a hard time, rushed me off the phone. By this point I’m pretty riled up, get angry, tell secretary that I’m very unimpressed with this arrangement they have and hang up on her. I call AART in Halifax and tell them what I was told. They are equally pissed off and asked me to leave it with them for a couple of days because they won’t put up with their patients being treated like that by a Gyno that they work with regularly. Plus chances are, Gyno may not even be aware of what her secretary is doing and how she is treating her patients.

If I hear nothing by Monday morning, I’m writing a nasty letter to my gyno’s office telling them that I refuse to be treated like that from a secretary and that if something isn’t done and I’m forced to play this Russian roulette game of who calls first for a damn test every cycle, I’m gonna look into reporting the doctor and her practice. I refuse to sit back and be walked all over anymore when it comes to our infertility. I don’t like being comforted by a doctor telling me that I don’t have to worry anymore and that I won’t get the run around anymore when that is exactly what I’m getting again. I spent almost 4 years of my life begging doctors to get their heads out of their asses and do something for us because something is wrong. I’m not spending the rest of my best years (and chances) of conceiving waiting around for doctors to get their heads out of their collective asses. I refuse to wait until I hit AMA (advanced maternal age, for those not in the know) just to be told by doctors that I shouldn’t have waited so long.

Oh and I’m still waiting for my results from CD21 and CD23, but I put the call in and expect to hear something no later than Monday, because if they don’t call, I’ll call Kendra at AART and either get her to give me the results or get her to get a doc to call back with them. Cause Kendra is the only one who knows how to get things taken care of for me, even if all she is is the secretary for a fertility clinic. That girl knows her shit.

To stop making people a priority in my life when I’m not even an option in theirs.

Things continue to be the same. Can more or less mark this one resolved for the time being. Winter puts a damper on plans due to random storms. We have tickets for a dance tomorrow and its the first time Chris and I have even acknowledged valentines day in our relationship and now the night of the dance, the weather is calling for a nasty nor’easter that could give us as much as 35cm of snow. So me and Chris, along with the 3 other couples are pretty pissed about the forcing a possible cancellation. If it gets cancelled and we are refunded the ticket price of $30, I’m just gonna move that into our treatment savings.

With the rest of my friends, we started talks for our yearly pub crawl. Sure it’s not til July and yes it’s a night of drinking, but its the one time each year I let go and get wasted. We have upwards of 20-25 people already saying yes to going. People are already looking for sitters, talks have started for themes, location of pre-drinks, setting up places for people to crash at if they live out of town and have no way of getting home and of course, there is already talks of a hangover BBQ. We don’t skimp when it comes to pub-crawl.

I’m also planning to have a passion party for me and my girlfriends in the next couple of weeks as a reason just to have everyone down. I’m gonna check with schedules and see what day works for most and go with that.

To work towards making our house a home.

I’m staying on top of the chores. Clothes and dishes are regularly cleaned. My kitchen is staying clean but most projects to get stuff done around the house are non-existent right now. But right now, I’m ok with that. If my house is staying clean right now, I’m happy. My priority right now is on working out and getting into a good routine with that. As long as the house is functional and clean enough for guests I’m happy. Many of the projects I wanted to complete are ok to spread out into the spring.

But I do plan to go through my photos and fill that big frame I bought for the living room. I want to get that done by next Friday. If I can do that, I’ll be happy.

To expand my reading collection.

This right here is my hold up on my reading. If you ever played the game “Portal” you understand exactly what my cross stitch is from. I’m currently working on the other half. Once I’m done stitching them, my friends awesome mom is going to help me turn them into pillows. I’ll be sure to post progress shots and a picture of the finished gift. The recipient of the gift has his birthday at the end of the month so I’m looking forward to giving it to him. Especially since he was so great to help us with the move into our house. He’s earned a homemade geek gift.

So a bunch of ups and downs this week but overall a great week. But at least the things that are down, I have at least some direction and know how to go about fixing them. I’m really enjoying the accountability of it all. I believe that if I didn’t have to be accountable for everything I do, I would’ve fallen back on most, if not all, of these goals. When I eat, I think about the fact that I have to e honest about this on Friday. If I put something off, I know I have to be honest about it, that people will be checking in and looking for updates. It’s a truly wonderful feeling when you have those positives to share I hope everyone is doing well and I’ll see you all next Friday!

Love and hugs!
Kim

Winter Shed Blog Hop: Week Four!

Posted on February 2, 2013 by imfluffyowl

It’s week four of the winter shed blog hop! Time to check in on the past week. If you would like to join us in the Winter Shed Blog Hop, click on the picture to your right to read up and join!

To recap, I’ve highlighted my original goals and below each goal, I’ve noted my progress on each this week.

Living a healthier life in 2013 in preparation for “Future Baby B”.

This week, I binged. I know, bad Kim. But CD1 is just around the corner and she must be a doozie because I want all the sugar, all the time. Thankfully only the past 2 days have been binge days so now I’m just trying to limit it. It’s like hitting black ice, you don’t over steer to fix it, you just slowly lift your foot off the gas and only lightly turn the wheel to avoid the complete spin out. Same thing with PMS, let in a little sugar to prevent a sugar overdose. At least that’s the reasoning I’m going with.

I had a great work out on Tuesday. And me and my friends made a goal to join that gym finally. We also did our first weigh in with plans to do our weigh ins together to help keep us on our goals. My girls also messaged me about possibly trying out a belly dancing class. I tried to today but there was no answer at the gym when I called. I got Chris to dig out my Xbox and kinect so I can at least start my workouts on that til I get my gym membership set up on Monday.

To make progress towards resolving our infertility.

Made more progress on this than anything else this week. Beginning of the week I was able to put $30 away for our treatment savings. Then later this week, my father surprised me and after finishing some work for him and gave me $100 bill as a thank you. I didn’t expect it, tried to give it back but he told me to put it into savings. So I did. Didn’t tell Chris about it, just put it in the box. We now have almost $250 put away and it feels wonderful!

Still waiting for results from CD21 and CD23. I meant to call them today but I got sidetracked and forgot. I’ll call them Monday for the results and to get some questions answered about my CD2 blood work that I forgot to ask about. No dye test scheduled yet, but then again no CD1 to call and schedule yet.

To stop making people a priority in my life when I’m not even an option in theirs.

Another great week. Got a surprise visit today from my friend that I was meaning to get together with. We spent most of the day catching up. Otherwise, everything is going about the same.

To work towards making our house a home.

I got lazy. Did some laundry, dishes and baked a bit but otherwise didn’t get much done that I wanted to. I’m pretty sure I need to hire a laundry fairy to take care of the clothes because I’m hating that as much as I hate cleaning the bathroom.

To expand my reading collection.

As I planned last week, I stopped reading to work on that birthday gift craft. The cross stitch is almost half finished though so the sooner I finish that, the sooner I will start reading again.

This weeks post is short and sweet because I was so busy today and I’m trying to get this out before bed and I have a very early morning tomorrow for a guiding event for our girls followed by a training event in the afternoon. I hope your week was a bit more successful than mine! I hope everyone is doing well and I’ll see you all next Friday!

Love and hugs!
Kim