Sex Education.
Why are schools and teachers so scared of Sex Education?
Huffington Post had an article about women and their knowledge of reproductive health, and sadly, I wasn’t surprised by the results:
“In addition to incomplete understanding of reproductive concepts, the survey also showed that many women who were not actively attempting to get pregnant nevertheless had concerns about their ability to do so down the road. Among the women not currently trying to conceive, 40 percent said they were worried about their ability to get pregnant once they started trying, and 20 percent said they thought they might need fertility treatment.”
When I was in high school, our sex education was a sad state of affairs.
Picture this:
Band class of 30 students, 26 girls to 4 boys. Junior high. Our male gym teacher is given the task of teaching health class as part of his gym duties. The male teacher is young, teaching only a couple of years and not really trained on how to teach sex ed. He blushes as he passes out the sex ed books and looks mortified to teach 26 girls and 4 guys about reproductive health, safe sex, ovulation, a woman’s cycle and the male reproductive organs. His embarassment brushes off on us because he doesn’t take the lead and tell us its nothing to be embarassed about. His lectures are made up of him reading page for page out of an already outdated sex ed book and his prep for tests are, ‘read this section and those 3 sections because that is where the questions on the test are coming from’. He powered through it, never encouraged open discussion, never asked if we had any questions and once we powered through it, he tells us to read amongst ourselves but doesn’t say a word when we all put our books away and chat amongst ourselves for the rest of the class.
On top of that, he never shows us how to properly put on a condom, he powered through the lesson on birth control for women, and his final statement was “don’t have sex.”
Sounds funny and completely unprofessional right?
Yeah, this was my sex education in junior high. This is where my first bit of knowledge, outside of my parents short talks with me, of my reproductive health came from.
He left us feeling that it was uncomfortable and wrong to talk about our sexual health. No one felt comfortable talking to him about more information. No one knew that there was more information out there.
My parents, as much as I love them, didn’t really offer me enough information for me to remember it. I know we had “the talk” but I don’t remember the details and the gist of it was wait til you are older to have sex and when you do, make sure you use protection. Mom was great about talking about my first period but the sex side of the talk was lacking. Of course it was approached awkwardly and I was a teenager and fed off of their awkwardness and still to this day will find it hard to talk about sex education without first having to push down the awkward feelings that comes with it.
I spent at least 10 years not knowing that my thyroid could affect my reproductive health. I didn’t know that my levels were as high as they were. I only learned in the past couple of months that its possible that my extremely high thyroid levels may have stopped my ovulation and I possibly haven’t ovulated since before I started dating my husband. The doctors truly don’t know how long I’ve gone without ovulating. I ovulated for the first time in possibly a decade, maybe more, last cycle. I always thought I ovulated because I got my period. I never knew that just because I bleed a couple of days every cycle, it doesn’t actually mean that I’m ovulating.
When I finally decided that something wasn’t right, I had to bring proof to my doctor. He ran the tests when I asked, but he was never forthcoming with me about any of this, even though he’s been my doctor since childhood. I had to research my options. I had to beg my own doctor to help my husband because my husbands doctor didn’t know how to send a referral. I was the one who found my clinic. I was the one who made contact. I was the one calling for results. I was the one doing the research and asking the questions. I was the one who took to the internet and googled infertility at a moment of pure panic and pain. I was the one who found the infertility blogging community and it was their help and resources that helped me get the education I so desperately lacked.
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I’m out to family and friends about our infertility. I don’t hide our struggles despite how it makes some people around me feel uncomfortable. Despite people telling me that its all I talk about and that its not something I should be public about. I post information. I remind people to ask questions about their reproductive health and to seek second and third opinions when their doctor won’t help.
Then something happened.
People I knew. People I went to school with, that I worked with, family, friends of the family, people that were friends of friends started approaching me privately. Messages telling me that they thought they were the only ones. Messages telling me that I wasn’t alone. People telling me that they were scared and didn’t know what to do. People who silently dealt with this for years and never knew that there were options or that there were even fertility clinics and doctors who specialize in infertility in both men and women. I carry their secrets and check on them regularly, but they push me to talk.
I want women to be prepared. To have the knowledge. To know how their body works. To not be ashamed of their reproductive health and to have easy access to support, information and resources. I want them to be comfortable learning and talking about their bodies at a young age. I want teachers properly educated on teaching sex ed and be comfortable enough to approach it much the way other topics and subjects are approached. We should not be ashamed of our bodies. We should not be uncomfortable talking about our bodies and how they work. This isn’t something we should have to fight for.
Something needs to change. And I’m no longer scared or ashamed to step up and speak up. We need to be the change.
If you are a parent, talk to your kids about their reproductive health, but also teach them that there is nothing to be embarassed about. Don’t shame kids. Don’t think your job is done when you say “don’t have sex” or “put a condom on it”. Ask them what they know. Have open dialogue. Push for better sex ed in your child’s school. Remember, kids are curious and they will experiment no matter how much your tell them not to. So prepare them for that as much as you can.
They deserve that much. We all do.
If You Don't Stand For Something 
