The Best News I’ve Heard All Day

Posted on December 6, 2013 by imfluffyowl

My clinic just called me with the results of my thyroid levels and for the first time since I really don’t know when, my levels are normal. I spent a year and a half with my clinic trying to regulate my thyroid and at least 7 dosage changes.

My TSH is resting nice and comfy at 1.2.

1.2

The best number.

This may also be the only time I’m happy with being “normal”.

It doesn’t seem like much, but our entire infertility journey and any hope of moving forward was waiting on my thyroid levels to return to normal again.

1.2

A number with so much hope.

1.2 doesn’t mean much to you, but to me it means moving forward…finally.

Spring Shed: Week 1

Posted on March 26, 2013 by imfluffyowl

Hey everyone!

First my apologies to my fellow spring shedders for the late post. You ever have one of those weeks that you just wanna walk away and say, I give up? Well, this past weekend that was me. I had to house sit at my parents all weekend. The first night, we got a massive early spring snowstorm. Because my parents live on the outskirts of town, we get plowed later but they did every street in the area but moms and waited til after midnight the next day to clear it. While that was going on, I was suppose to have a get together for my husband at my parents but no one could get up the street. And while I was trying to get ready for the get together, just hoping we would be plowed in time, I get a call from my grandmother telling me that I may need to call an ambulance for poppy. Because she can’t hear me on the phone, I couldn’t get the information I need, my parents were on the other side of the country, my cousin was MIA and my uncle was away and didn’t bother to let the family know. I couldn’t get in touch with anyone, I’m in a full on panic cause I can’t check on them or track ANYONE, even a family friend, to go check on them and I can’t get the car down the road.

Needless to say, I called my mom in a complete breakdown, unsure what to do. I hated that my grandparents care was left in my hands because no one had the thought to plan ahead for everyone being away. Then Saturday, it was cookie day for girl guides. We picked up the 45 cases of cookies for our Brownie group. By the time I got home from that, I needed to run around for my mom and get a workout in. I was so overtired that I did not sleep (plus I find it so hard to sleep without my husband) and I was up til 7am before I finally got some shut eye. A few hours later, I was woken up by my aunt in Ontario calling asking me to go to my grandparents and call for an ambulance because poppy was having a lot of difficulty breathing. So I spent the rest of the day and well into the evening at the hospital with a grandmother who can’t hear and a grandfather who can’t breath. Then today, finally after a night of being home, I was left to take poppy to his doctors appointment. I really don’t mind helping out, but today is my husbands birthday and I had to reschedule stuff with him just to get poppy to his appointment. I sometimes wish there was more help with the grandparents. I do what I can but I’m only their grandchild. I have to ask my parents to keep me in the loop about their health yet I’m walking into doctors appointments where I have no answers for the doctors because no one tells me anything. I feel bad when all I can tell the doctor is, “I’m sorry, I don’t know. They don’t keep me up to date but I’m the only one available to help right now.Do you want me to call my mom or aunt?”

So yeah, that’s why my first post of the Spring Shed is late. I haven’t had the time or energy to post til now.

But let’s get back on track! This week, I’ll highlight my new goals, then compare them to my old goals and track this weeks progress. As always, if you are interested to follow along, please click on the Spring Shed picture either in this post or to the right of this post under “i’m a proud member of” and join this wonderful group of ladies. Like last time, the whole point of this exercise is to set realistic goals for ourselves, track our progress, provide support and encouragement for each other and mostly to help ourselves become accountable for our goals by publicly acknowledging them. The Winter Shed helped me through the winter months, and it was wonderful to check in and track my progress with the other women. Thanks in part to that, I’m down 30 pounds!

Living a healthier life in 2013 in preparation for “Future Baby B”.

I want to keep this goal the same. It’s well rounded and while its been wonderful so far, it still encompasses what I wish to accomplish. While there are many things I’m doing towards this goal, no one thing is more important than the other. My end goal was and is to live a healthier life. Since the new year, I’ve worked towards changing my diet. Smaller portions, less takeout, no pop, more well rounded meals and I plan to keep at this the same as I’ve done so far. I’m also working out. I joined a 24 hour gym and I’m enjoying the work outs. I also do other things to promote a healthier life. I still occasionally do yoga at home when I can’t get to the gym. And as the weather turns nice and the snow and ice melt and disappear, I plan to start going for walks outdoors with my friends. While I do aim to lose weight, I’m not putting too much effort, energy or goals into this because at some point I will plateau and I don’t want to get discouraged and as long as I keep at my lifestyle change, the weight will do its own thing on its own time. My end goal is still to work towards a healthier Kim.

This past week, I’ve missed a couple of days at the gym but when I do go, I make myself make time for it and I stay longer at the workout when I know that I may miss one. This weekend was a bit of a cheat weekend with Chris’s birthday and me at my mom’s. But today I’m back to my regular eating and I plan to get back to the gym tonight. I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks that my legs are stronger, I’m lasting longer on my workouts before exhaustion hits and the aches and pains that were always there after a work out are not as bad. Last night when I got into bed, I felt the muscles in my legs tightening but in a good way. I have more energy after my workouts and I’m still adjusting to the gradual loss of sugar and salt coming out of my system since I started to cut down. I find greasy food leaves me feeling gross and like I have a dead weight in my stomach which is helping me keep away from it. My portion control has also dropped. Still resting at 30 pounds lost but people are really starting to notice the weight loss now and it makes me feel good.

To make progress towards resolving our infertility.

This one I plan to keep the same as well. This will be a work in progress until we have a child in our arms to call our own. This goal is forever changing so to set a goal to constantly make progress towards it is as fair as I can make it. I will always be waiting for a report, blood work, test results or for medication to do its thing. But my goal is more so to stay on top of it. To be vigilant with follow ups. The only thing I would add to this goal would be to be more proactive in the community side of it. Get back into commenting and my daily interactions with the infertility community. To get back into ICLW. And to work towards communicating within my own local community of infertility friends. I tried to set up a support group but got no response. I don’t think we are ready for that yet here in Cape Breton. At least not at the level I want it to be. So for now, I want to be a safe space for people to talk to if they have no one else to talk to about their infertility. I’ll talk and share info 1 on 1 until I see the need for more.

This week, I helped a friend who just got a bad diagnosis from her first appointment with her infertility clinic. She hasn’t told anyone but me and she just really needs someone to get her through the down parts of a bad diagnosis. We talk regularly on facebook message and we are planning on having a lunch/tea date just the two of us. I don’t have all the answers, but I can be a good friend and listen. A couple of other friends came out to me about their struggles and I’m doing my best to be a supportive and helpful friend, sharing what I know and I hope that its helping them.

Otherwise, my HSG was last week and my uterus has been declared “clear and perfect” by my gyno! My blood work is showing that I didn’t ovulate the past two cycles but (potential TMI warning) the past couple of days, I’ve noticed that my CM (cervical mucus) is moving towards the desperately wanted EW stage. I haven’t had this in a while so it may be a step towards ovulation getting back on track. I’m gonna purchase a OPK when I’m out later with my husband and see what I get. If I am in fact ovulating, it may also be a sign that my thyroid may be getting back on track. I got my slip to check my thyroid levels from my fertility clinic and I will be going for that blood work next week. So fingers crossed for good results because once those levels are normal, I can re-do my cycle testing again.

To work towards making our house a home.

I want to keep this one much the same. But my goals within this goal are changing a bit. Right now, my goals are to move towards getting the two spare rooms set up and keep my house in a functioning order. Staying on top of the chores. Once we are full into spring, I’d love to paint but it won’t be a priority. I just want to be able to have a clean house so that if anyone drops by for a surprise visit, I can be proud of how the house looks instead of apologizing for the mess. So that’s my end goal. I will also track any projects on the house as I complete them whether it be a pinterest project success or hitting any hurdles with decorating/reorganizing. But the big thing is, I won’t be hard on myself if I don’t hit the extras. This feels more realistic for whats going on in my life right now.

Since I haven’t been home much lately, I’ve only been able to do things like load and empty the dishwasher. But I wasn’t home much. Now that I’m back home, I plan to give the house a good once over in the cleaning department and then when I have the time, to move towards other stuff in the house. I want to make a dog bed for Mia, but time, money and resources will determine that for me.

To make more time for myself.

While this one was originally to read more, I’m going to make a change to it. I love reading and crafting equally and I’ve had to little time for both lately. My goal this time around is to simply make more time for me on a mental level. I’m a member of a woman’s dart league on Monday’s and I’m a Brownie leader, but otherwise, I find I don’t take time to give myself a mental break. So I want to put the iPad down a bit more and take more time to read, craft and do things that will help me relax.

This week proved difficult because my time really wasn’t my own but today and yesterday I was already able to commit a bit of time towards reading and crafting.

I hope that everyone is doing well! I’ll be back later this week with a regular post.

xoxo

Kim

Winter Shed Week 10

Posted on March 16, 2013 by imfluffyowl

Hey guys,

Here it is, the last week of the winter shed. Next week I’ll be joining up for the spring version of this. I’ll adjust the goals here I still plan to work on and add new ones as I feel it. I will spend the week determining my goals I want to accomplish.

If you want to join in on the spring shed, I’ll have the icon and link set up next week when sign up is set.

But since its the last week, I want to look back, not only at what I accomplished this week but what I accomplished overall and if I considered it a success or not.

Living a healthier life in 2013 in preparation for “Future Baby B”.

Last week, I joined the gym. Its a 24 hour gym and so far I love it. i tend to be in a 2 days on, 1 off while my body adjusts to working muscles its not used to working. I weighed myself on Tuesday and found out that since my first weigh in in November, I’ve lost 30 pounds! I feel wonderful and my clothes are loose on me. People are starting to notice the weight loss. This makes it much easier to continue my lifestyle and diet change. I consider this goal both successful and still a work in progress. I don’t want to give up this healthier lifestyle now that I’m getting into a routine with it.

To make progress towards resolving our infertility.

Today was finally the day of my HSG test. While I never want to do that again, I am pleased to say that Dr. D proudly announced with a smile on her face that my tubes and uterus are “clear and perfect”! So she thinks that my biggest hindrance on my end at this point is my thyroid. I’m about 2 weeks out for my 6 week thyroid level check in. My family doctor is still on vacation so I called my fertility clinic and asked if they could mail me a requisition form for my thyroid levels. The secretary is sending that out first thing Monday and she told me that my last progesterone level results are in but she doesn’t have the ok to share it with me. But she will have one of the doctors call me first thing Monday to go over the results with me. So right now, everything is going smoothly in the testing area. I’ll just be happy when my thyroid levels are normal again.

I consider this one a success and a work in progress as well. Things were completed but there is still lots to go in this goal.

To stop making people a priority in my life when I’m not even an option in theirs.

The passion party was great. I was sad that some people said they were coming and then didn’t bother to show or even let me know that they wouldn’t make it, but people will always do this regardless of how much you plan. But for the people that came, we had a great night.

Overall, I consider this resolved. I accomplished everything I set out to do.

To work towards making our house a home.

The house continues to stay functional. But the big news here is that we finally got a dog!

I’d like to introduce you to Mia:

We had this perfect alining of events that led us to finding her. Hubby always wanted a beagle, we needed a dog that was already at least partially house trained and worked well with cats. Chris’s uncle was looking for a dog for himself and seen the ad with this beautiful girl. The owners were moving, she was a year and a half old, house trained and great with cats and free to. A good home. We called that day, went over an hour later and came home with her. She is possibly the friendliest dog I’ve ever met. All she wants to do is cuddle and sleep curled up to us. She won’t lick your face, doesn’t jump all over you, but if you invite her up on your lap she will jump up and sleep there til you want her to get down. We are madly in love with her and in 3 days she’s already a staple in our life. Me and a friend went out and got her a pretty collar, name tag and some jackets. She sleeps with us every night and the cats are slowly coming out of hiding even though they are still hissing at her if she gets too close.

Having Mia has made our house feel more like a home than anything else we’ve done. I consider this goal only mildly successful. I want to revisit this and maybe make some adjustments to this goal.

To expand my reading collection.

I’m gonna claim this one as a failure but possibly adjust this before next week. I want it to incorporate more of my need to alternate between reading and crafting as they are something I do equally.

It’s been a great couple of weeks and this shed had really helped the winter months fly by. Each week I had a goal and it really helped stop the winter blahs from taking over my life.

I hope everyone else is doing well. See you next week for the start of the Spring Shed!!

Help!

Posted on February 13, 2013 by imfluffyowl

Finally got a call back from AART with my blood work results. The lab techs there seem to talk to you like you are also a lab tech so now I have to break down what they told me and that’s where I’m leaving it in your capable hands to help me break it down before I go all Dr. Google, Medicine Woman on it.

Blood work for last cycle. January 3rd, 22nd and 24th.

FSH level is 11.
Thyroid was still showing as high. This was the only thing I was told on the initial phone call just prior to my CD21. They upped my thyroid medication at that point with a plan to retest my thyroid levels in 6 weeks.
There was no sign of progesterone in my system during CD21 to CD23 so I didn’t ovulate at that time.
Despite that, I still started my period on time. 4 day normal period for my cycles.

Anybody wanna weigh in on this and break it down for me?

Coming Back To Life

Posted on January 24, 2013 by imfluffyowl

First, greetings to anyone stopping by for ICLW! It’s a bit of a late start for me. I have to play catch up today because I’ve spent the last week and a half dealing with the head/chest cold from hell. I spent a week and a half nursing this thing, spent most of that time in bed, barely ate, and at one point coughed to the point of making myself puke (apologies for the TMI). Today is the first day that I’ve started feeling like myself but it may have something to do with the fact that I slept about 20 hours yesterday. For those visiting for the first time, if you want to get to know me and about our infertility timeline, please check out the links to the right of this post. During more lucid moments during my sickness, I updated both “The Girl” and “Our Infertility Timeline” to include the most up to date information.

A quick update since the last ICLW I took part in is due. Beginning of December, I turned the big 3-0. My friends threw me a surprise birthday party. Mid-December, we finally moved into my childhood home. We are now home owners and it’s wonderful! I finally have a dishwasher again and it’s wonderful. We are still getting unpacked, we have so much left still to do but it’s at least functional in all the main living areas. I’ll get back into it as I start feeling better again. The holidays were hectic but my brother surprised us and flew home on Boxing Day for almost 2 weeks. It was a great surprise and we had no clue that he was coming home. My parents bought us a Tassimo for Christmas and I’m madly in love with it. Otherwise our life has pretty much been consumed with the move and settling in and it’s why I didn’t participate last ICLW. I missed ICLW but I just didn’t have the time to commit to it.

So for the most part, things have been boring around here. This cycle I did start my first round of blood work. For anyone who doesn’t know me, I HATE blood work. Growing up, nurses used to have to hold me down then over the years it transitioned from someone having to hold me down to me just flat out passing out. But thankfully last year a friend who I met through another friend was my nurse the night I had to go to the ER. I needed a shot for pain in my hip and she was the nurse who came in to give it to me. She suggested that I try laying down to see if that would be easier on me. It worked! So when I knew that this round of blood work had to happen, I went in prepared. CD2 I told them that I’m prone to passing out and asked if I could lay down and close the curtain around us so I couldn’t see others getting their blood drawn. Turns out that this was the key. I survived the 5 vials for CD2 and then survived CD21 (both with my husband in tow) so when today showed up and I had to do CD23 blood work, I went by myself and was in and out within 5 minutes. I totally rocked my blood work like a superstar. So today, to celebrate, I let myself indulge in sushi and bought some of my Chai Tea Latte T-Discs as a little reward to myself (oh and a new pillow too). Sushi is a special treat that I love and where I’m working towards eating healthy I think this is OK for a treat.

I’m working on my weekly Winter She Blog Hop post for Friday, but otherwise its been quiet. Little progress this week. I made it to darts on Monday. I’m blaming my recent sucking at darts on being sick. My husband woke up this morning with the start of the cold I’m just getting over and he’s less than pleased with me. I’m actually anxious for CD1 to get here so that I can call and order my HSG (dye test on my uterus) through my Gyno. Now that my blood work is done, this is my next step. It’s just so nice to have some direction now. To know that process 1, 2, and 3 have to be done before 4, 5, and 6 and not only am I aware of it, but the doctors are now too. I haven’t had to call for results or anything yet. By the time I think of it, they are calling me. My synthroid was upped because my levels were still abnormal but I’ve already been told to go get my paperwork from my doc to recheck it in 6 weeks with the results cc’d to all my other docs (RE and Gyno included). And honestly? Having direction and having doctors actually taking care of me is actually making everything in my life go a lot smoother. There is less sting from announcements and births, less envy, less jealousy, less hurt. Sure these things are still there and I still have really bad self pity days, but at least it’s not as all consuming as it once was. And that is a bit of a relief. I feel lighter now and I feel like I can handle things better now.

Otherwise, I’m simply trying to come back to life after being so sick. So I hope everyone is doing well. I hope to see you in the comments and I’ll be stopping by to visit those taking part in ICLW. So all my love to my visitors (new and regular) and I’ll be seeing you around the blogging world!

Love and hugs,
Kim

16:9 Report On Infertility In Canada

Posted on February 16, 2012 by imfluffyowl

A friend reminded me about a news show’s report on infertility in Canada. It’s a fascinating story. It covers the generals of infertility with the bulk of the show about male infertility. It even covered the “Win A Baby” contest that an Ottawa radio station hosted in attempts to promote awareness for infertility. The thing that I enjoyed about it? It’s 100% Canadian.

I’m born and raised in Canada. And while there is a wonderful resource in Resolve, its an American non-profit. While their articles are informative, nothing is available to us through them for support services or information on doctors. The Canadian resources on infertility help are there, but much more sparse and a lot less organzied as Resolve. So its nice for once to have a Canadian show, on a Canadian station, tackle a topic near and dear to my heart that I struggle with about Canadian couples and Canadian studies.

I learned a couple of things about infertility in Canada. First, in Ontario there is partial coverage for IVF but only if the woman has both of her fallopian tubes blocked. So if both your tubes are blocked in Ontario, they will cover part of the cost of treatments. But if you have any other problems with your lady parts that are preventing you from getting pregnant, they will not cover any of the costs of treatment. Second, Quebec is the only province in all of Canada that covers IVF. The province covers 3 rounds of IVF before you have to pay any of the costs associated with it. But you can’t just go to Quebec and get free treatments. You have to be a resident of Quebec and there is a waiting list. Third, do not trust the success rates reported by fertility clinics. In Canada, each privitized clinic only offer stats if they choose to. They are not required to follow a set standard for what stats they send in. So do not pick a clinic based on success rates posted. And finally, I learned that as a standard of living in public health care, we should be covered. Infertility is recognized as a disease, but yet, they still consider everything related to trying as optional or a lifestyle choice. We are being discriminated against. And to add to that, the government is actually wasting money by not covering it. The jist of it is: the more money that people have to spend on IVF and fertility treatments, the higher the risks they are willing to take, which leads to more births of multiples, which leads to more medical costs for high risk pregnancies and births and the longer medical care needed for twins who are more often than not, born early. If coverage for fertility treatments was unlimited, less risks would be taken, and IVF cycles would almost always be done with one embryo. This would drop the number of births of multiples (twins, triplets and more), which would cut down the costs for NICU’s, and prolonged hospitals stays post delivery for both baby/babies and mommy.

Another thing that was covered in the show was the controversy that was stemmed by an Ottawa radio station offering the “Win A Baby” contest. Like many in the blogging world, I was iffy about this contest at first, but after watching the coverage of it, I was actually impressed with both the station and what they did. The posters may have been misleading, but for a topic like infertility, you simply can’t grab people with facts. Honestly it bores the fertile people of the world. So they got people to do the double take, but when you looked into it, you realized the real meaning behind it. The stations goal was to make a bold statement to get attention, just to have people look into it to realize that the station was trying to raise awareness about infertility. The prize was $35 thousand dollars in fertility treatments which equals to 3 rounds of IVF covered by the station. The best part? The 5 couples that made it to the end for the vote? Instead of the station picking just one of the 5 couples, they told them as a group that they were all winners. Each of the 5 couples got the chance for 3 rounds of IVF at no cost to them. This show actually showed them announcing the winners. And it was a tearful moment. I bawled my eyes out as 5 couples simultaneously broke down into tears at the gift they were given. Click here to watch just the preview of the radio station announcing the winners. (Note: Have kleenex handy!)

If you have about 45 minutes to spare, click on the first link and watch the show.