Spring Shed: Week 1

Posted on March 26, 2013 by imfluffyowl

Hey everyone!

First my apologies to my fellow spring shedders for the late post. You ever have one of those weeks that you just wanna walk away and say, I give up? Well, this past weekend that was me. I had to house sit at my parents all weekend. The first night, we got a massive early spring snowstorm. Because my parents live on the outskirts of town, we get plowed later but they did every street in the area but moms and waited til after midnight the next day to clear it. While that was going on, I was suppose to have a get together for my husband at my parents but no one could get up the street. And while I was trying to get ready for the get together, just hoping we would be plowed in time, I get a call from my grandmother telling me that I may need to call an ambulance for poppy. Because she can’t hear me on the phone, I couldn’t get the information I need, my parents were on the other side of the country, my cousin was MIA and my uncle was away and didn’t bother to let the family know. I couldn’t get in touch with anyone, I’m in a full on panic cause I can’t check on them or track ANYONE, even a family friend, to go check on them and I can’t get the car down the road.

Needless to say, I called my mom in a complete breakdown, unsure what to do. I hated that my grandparents care was left in my hands because no one had the thought to plan ahead for everyone being away. Then Saturday, it was cookie day for girl guides. We picked up the 45 cases of cookies for our Brownie group. By the time I got home from that, I needed to run around for my mom and get a workout in. I was so overtired that I did not sleep (plus I find it so hard to sleep without my husband) and I was up til 7am before I finally got some shut eye. A few hours later, I was woken up by my aunt in Ontario calling asking me to go to my grandparents and call for an ambulance because poppy was having a lot of difficulty breathing. So I spent the rest of the day and well into the evening at the hospital with a grandmother who can’t hear and a grandfather who can’t breath. Then today, finally after a night of being home, I was left to take poppy to his doctors appointment. I really don’t mind helping out, but today is my husbands birthday and I had to reschedule stuff with him just to get poppy to his appointment. I sometimes wish there was more help with the grandparents. I do what I can but I’m only their grandchild. I have to ask my parents to keep me in the loop about their health yet I’m walking into doctors appointments where I have no answers for the doctors because no one tells me anything. I feel bad when all I can tell the doctor is, “I’m sorry, I don’t know. They don’t keep me up to date but I’m the only one available to help right now.Do you want me to call my mom or aunt?”

So yeah, that’s why my first post of the Spring Shed is late. I haven’t had the time or energy to post til now.

But let’s get back on track! This week, I’ll highlight my new goals, then compare them to my old goals and track this weeks progress. As always, if you are interested to follow along, please click on the Spring Shed picture either in this post or to the right of this post under “i’m a proud member of” and join this wonderful group of ladies. Like last time, the whole point of this exercise is to set realistic goals for ourselves, track our progress, provide support and encouragement for each other and mostly to help ourselves become accountable for our goals by publicly acknowledging them. The Winter Shed helped me through the winter months, and it was wonderful to check in and track my progress with the other women. Thanks in part to that, I’m down 30 pounds!

Living a healthier life in 2013 in preparation for “Future Baby B”.

I want to keep this goal the same. It’s well rounded and while its been wonderful so far, it still encompasses what I wish to accomplish. While there are many things I’m doing towards this goal, no one thing is more important than the other. My end goal was and is to live a healthier life. Since the new year, I’ve worked towards changing my diet. Smaller portions, less takeout, no pop, more well rounded meals and I plan to keep at this the same as I’ve done so far. I’m also working out. I joined a 24 hour gym and I’m enjoying the work outs. I also do other things to promote a healthier life. I still occasionally do yoga at home when I can’t get to the gym. And as the weather turns nice and the snow and ice melt and disappear, I plan to start going for walks outdoors with my friends. While I do aim to lose weight, I’m not putting too much effort, energy or goals into this because at some point I will plateau and I don’t want to get discouraged and as long as I keep at my lifestyle change, the weight will do its own thing on its own time. My end goal is still to work towards a healthier Kim.

This past week, I’ve missed a couple of days at the gym but when I do go, I make myself make time for it and I stay longer at the workout when I know that I may miss one. This weekend was a bit of a cheat weekend with Chris’s birthday and me at my mom’s. But today I’m back to my regular eating and I plan to get back to the gym tonight. I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks that my legs are stronger, I’m lasting longer on my workouts before exhaustion hits and the aches and pains that were always there after a work out are not as bad. Last night when I got into bed, I felt the muscles in my legs tightening but in a good way. I have more energy after my workouts and I’m still adjusting to the gradual loss of sugar and salt coming out of my system since I started to cut down. I find greasy food leaves me feeling gross and like I have a dead weight in my stomach which is helping me keep away from it. My portion control has also dropped. Still resting at 30 pounds lost but people are really starting to notice the weight loss now and it makes me feel good.

To make progress towards resolving our infertility.

This one I plan to keep the same as well. This will be a work in progress until we have a child in our arms to call our own. This goal is forever changing so to set a goal to constantly make progress towards it is as fair as I can make it. I will always be waiting for a report, blood work, test results or for medication to do its thing. But my goal is more so to stay on top of it. To be vigilant with follow ups. The only thing I would add to this goal would be to be more proactive in the community side of it. Get back into commenting and my daily interactions with the infertility community. To get back into ICLW. And to work towards communicating within my own local community of infertility friends. I tried to set up a support group but got no response. I don’t think we are ready for that yet here in Cape Breton. At least not at the level I want it to be. So for now, I want to be a safe space for people to talk to if they have no one else to talk to about their infertility. I’ll talk and share info 1 on 1 until I see the need for more.

This week, I helped a friend who just got a bad diagnosis from her first appointment with her infertility clinic. She hasn’t told anyone but me and she just really needs someone to get her through the down parts of a bad diagnosis. We talk regularly on facebook message and we are planning on having a lunch/tea date just the two of us. I don’t have all the answers, but I can be a good friend and listen. A couple of other friends came out to me about their struggles and I’m doing my best to be a supportive and helpful friend, sharing what I know and I hope that its helping them.

Otherwise, my HSG was last week and my uterus has been declared “clear and perfect” by my gyno! My blood work is showing that I didn’t ovulate the past two cycles but (potential TMI warning) the past couple of days, I’ve noticed that my CM (cervical mucus) is moving towards the desperately wanted EW stage. I haven’t had this in a while so it may be a step towards ovulation getting back on track. I’m gonna purchase a OPK when I’m out later with my husband and see what I get. If I am in fact ovulating, it may also be a sign that my thyroid may be getting back on track. I got my slip to check my thyroid levels from my fertility clinic and I will be going for that blood work next week. So fingers crossed for good results because once those levels are normal, I can re-do my cycle testing again.

To work towards making our house a home.

I want to keep this one much the same. But my goals within this goal are changing a bit. Right now, my goals are to move towards getting the two spare rooms set up and keep my house in a functioning order. Staying on top of the chores. Once we are full into spring, I’d love to paint but it won’t be a priority. I just want to be able to have a clean house so that if anyone drops by for a surprise visit, I can be proud of how the house looks instead of apologizing for the mess. So that’s my end goal. I will also track any projects on the house as I complete them whether it be a pinterest project success or hitting any hurdles with decorating/reorganizing. But the big thing is, I won’t be hard on myself if I don’t hit the extras. This feels more realistic for whats going on in my life right now.

Since I haven’t been home much lately, I’ve only been able to do things like load and empty the dishwasher. But I wasn’t home much. Now that I’m back home, I plan to give the house a good once over in the cleaning department and then when I have the time, to move towards other stuff in the house. I want to make a dog bed for Mia, but time, money and resources will determine that for me.

To make more time for myself.

While this one was originally to read more, I’m going to make a change to it. I love reading and crafting equally and I’ve had to little time for both lately. My goal this time around is to simply make more time for me on a mental level. I’m a member of a woman’s dart league on Monday’s and I’m a Brownie leader, but otherwise, I find I don’t take time to give myself a mental break. So I want to put the iPad down a bit more and take more time to read, craft and do things that will help me relax.

This week proved difficult because my time really wasn’t my own but today and yesterday I was already able to commit a bit of time towards reading and crafting.

I hope that everyone is doing well! I’ll be back later this week with a regular post.

xoxo

Kim

Winter Shed Week 10

Posted on March 16, 2013 by imfluffyowl

Hey guys,

Here it is, the last week of the winter shed. Next week I’ll be joining up for the spring version of this. I’ll adjust the goals here I still plan to work on and add new ones as I feel it. I will spend the week determining my goals I want to accomplish.

If you want to join in on the spring shed, I’ll have the icon and link set up next week when sign up is set.

But since its the last week, I want to look back, not only at what I accomplished this week but what I accomplished overall and if I considered it a success or not.

Living a healthier life in 2013 in preparation for “Future Baby B”.

Last week, I joined the gym. Its a 24 hour gym and so far I love it. i tend to be in a 2 days on, 1 off while my body adjusts to working muscles its not used to working. I weighed myself on Tuesday and found out that since my first weigh in in November, I’ve lost 30 pounds! I feel wonderful and my clothes are loose on me. People are starting to notice the weight loss. This makes it much easier to continue my lifestyle and diet change. I consider this goal both successful and still a work in progress. I don’t want to give up this healthier lifestyle now that I’m getting into a routine with it.

To make progress towards resolving our infertility.

Today was finally the day of my HSG test. While I never want to do that again, I am pleased to say that Dr. D proudly announced with a smile on her face that my tubes and uterus are “clear and perfect”! So she thinks that my biggest hindrance on my end at this point is my thyroid. I’m about 2 weeks out for my 6 week thyroid level check in. My family doctor is still on vacation so I called my fertility clinic and asked if they could mail me a requisition form for my thyroid levels. The secretary is sending that out first thing Monday and she told me that my last progesterone level results are in but she doesn’t have the ok to share it with me. But she will have one of the doctors call me first thing Monday to go over the results with me. So right now, everything is going smoothly in the testing area. I’ll just be happy when my thyroid levels are normal again.

I consider this one a success and a work in progress as well. Things were completed but there is still lots to go in this goal.

To stop making people a priority in my life when I’m not even an option in theirs.

The passion party was great. I was sad that some people said they were coming and then didn’t bother to show or even let me know that they wouldn’t make it, but people will always do this regardless of how much you plan. But for the people that came, we had a great night.

Overall, I consider this resolved. I accomplished everything I set out to do.

To work towards making our house a home.

The house continues to stay functional. But the big news here is that we finally got a dog!

I’d like to introduce you to Mia:

We had this perfect alining of events that led us to finding her. Hubby always wanted a beagle, we needed a dog that was already at least partially house trained and worked well with cats. Chris’s uncle was looking for a dog for himself and seen the ad with this beautiful girl. The owners were moving, she was a year and a half old, house trained and great with cats and free to. A good home. We called that day, went over an hour later and came home with her. She is possibly the friendliest dog I’ve ever met. All she wants to do is cuddle and sleep curled up to us. She won’t lick your face, doesn’t jump all over you, but if you invite her up on your lap she will jump up and sleep there til you want her to get down. We are madly in love with her and in 3 days she’s already a staple in our life. Me and a friend went out and got her a pretty collar, name tag and some jackets. She sleeps with us every night and the cats are slowly coming out of hiding even though they are still hissing at her if she gets too close.

Having Mia has made our house feel more like a home than anything else we’ve done. I consider this goal only mildly successful. I want to revisit this and maybe make some adjustments to this goal.

To expand my reading collection.

I’m gonna claim this one as a failure but possibly adjust this before next week. I want it to incorporate more of my need to alternate between reading and crafting as they are something I do equally.

It’s been a great couple of weeks and this shed had really helped the winter months fly by. Each week I had a goal and it really helped stop the winter blahs from taking over my life.

I hope everyone else is doing well. See you next week for the start of the Spring Shed!!

Help!

Posted on February 13, 2013 by imfluffyowl

Finally got a call back from AART with my blood work results. The lab techs there seem to talk to you like you are also a lab tech so now I have to break down what they told me and that’s where I’m leaving it in your capable hands to help me break it down before I go all Dr. Google, Medicine Woman on it.

Blood work for last cycle. January 3rd, 22nd and 24th.

FSH level is 11.
Thyroid was still showing as high. This was the only thing I was told on the initial phone call just prior to my CD21. They upped my thyroid medication at that point with a plan to retest my thyroid levels in 6 weeks.
There was no sign of progesterone in my system during CD21 to CD23 so I didn’t ovulate at that time.
Despite that, I still started my period on time. 4 day normal period for my cycles.

Anybody wanna weigh in on this and break it down for me?

Family Doctors Are Useless Idiots

Posted on January 27, 2012 by imfluffyowl

First of all, thank you for all the heartfelt comments on my last two posts. It has helped ease my mind. ICLW is a wonderful thing and I’m so grateful for everyone who has embraced Mel’s wonderful creation. I went from feeling alone and scared to feeling accepted and like I wasn’t walking this fight alone. Seeing all of the comments left from those stopping by have helped me emotionally and reignited my love of writing in my blog. It’s a breath of fresh air.

Secondly, I finally got the results of my internal ultrasound with “Wandy”on December 20th (the delay on the results is because my doctor was away for a month on vacation and it took a bit for the secretary to get through all the build up of paperwork when they got back, so its cool, I can be patient). All reports came back NORMAL! This may be the only time I can qualify myself as normal but I’ll take it. No signs of cysts or any other abnormalities. It’s been a great relief to get this news because its simply one less hassle to deal with when it comes to us getting pregnant. I still have to do blood work to check my hormone levels and to see if my thyroid medication needs to be adjusted, but I take what good I can get from any situation at this point.

And finally, if things had gone how they should have gone, I would have been in Halifax with my husband today for his urologist appointment. An appointment that has been 2 years in the making. So what went wrong? A lot. Of course in the past I told you all about Chris’s family doctor being completely useless. She waited 2 months to give us the results of his first semen analysis. She previously sent the referral for him to go to the urologist to the wrong doctor…Twice! Then when we got the paperwork from Dr. G (finally the right doctor!!), she waited 2 months to give us the slip with the requirements he wanted before scheduling an appointment. So its no surprise that she screwed up our chances of getting to our first appointment. Right?

After my last post, I felt more confident and relaxed. The next day, I called Dr. G’s office. I got through right away to the secretary. (She was incredibly kind and sweet on the phone.) I told her who I was, that I was calling on behalf of my husband and she had no issue with dealing with me directly. When I gave her our names, she actually was surprised to hear from us. This is what I can remember of the conversation we had:

Me: Hi, I was wondering if you could help us. My husband was referred to Dr. G just before the summer. We eventually received paper work from your office requesting blood work and semen samples. The last of the samples were completed and supposedly sent back to you a little over 2 months ago and we have yet to hear from your office. I’m just wondering if you could let me know if you got the results and if there is any hold up? We’re getting a bit anxious…

Secretary: Hello Kimberly, funny you should call me today. Your husband was actually scheduled for an appointment 2 days from now, but I had to cancel it when I was unable to contact him to confirm the appointment.

Me: WHAT?!?!? Seriously?

Secretary: I’m so sorry that I had to cancel. But yes, we tried calling the number listed on the forms that came from his doctor. I have this number (his old cell #) and this address (our old address).

Me: That’s funny. We no longer live at that address and husband has a new number.

Secretary: Well that explains why I couldn’t contact you.

Me: Did you receive any other paper work since the middle of December from his family doctor?

Secretary: I have the file here and the only paperwork that was faxed to us was the original referral and the paperwork sent from his tests. Nothing else.

Me: Ok, that’s funny, because when Chris got his new phone and we had our new address, he went to his doctor immediately to update his phone number, our new address and my number as backup with his doctor and asked that the information be faxed to your office immediately. They told us that they would fax it that day.

Secretary: I’m so very sorry Kim. Had I been aware of any of this, I would have contacted you personally to make sure you knew about the appointment.

Me: It’s not your fault. His doctors office does this ALL THE TIME. They sent the referral for this to the wrong doctor twice and only finally sent it to your office when my husband flat out demanded it. That’s why its taken 2 years just to get to this point.

Secretary: I’m so sorry that you both have had to go through this. This is a stressful enough time for you as a couple, you don’t need this added stress. I’m gonna try to schedule you in as fast as I can but still give you enough time to make travel arrangements. What time frame works best for you? Because I know you are traveling from Cape Breton…

She continued to apologize through to the end of the call. She genuinely felt bad for having to cancel our appointment. Even though she wasn’t at fault. She offered to put us on the cancellation list but we both realized we have at least a 5 hour drive to the appointment so we need some notice. Plus work, setting up pet sitters for the kitties and all that fun stuff.

But it baffled my mind because this woman was apologizing for the acts, antics and stupidity of Chris’s family doctor. And the family doctor and her receptionist? Yeah, I wanna choke them with my bare hands. Seriously? We intentionally went in and asked them to fax that information to Dr. G’s office right away because we were waiting for a call for an appointment. Only to find out that they didn’t send the info. Lied, saying that they did. And now we are missing the appointment because of it. I want to just call them and yell at them til I lose my voice. Maybe fuck up her office a bit. It’s amazing the difference in protocol and mannerism between the two doctors offices. One can’t be bothered to do their work, the other is apologizing for others fuck ups.

But as frustrated as I am that right now we should be relaxing with family after we finished the appointment, I’m still a very happy girl because we should be in to see the urologist within the next 6 weeks or so. The secretary is waiting for Dr. G’s calendar to open up for the next two months. Once its open for appointments, she will schedule us and call us right away with the date and time of the appointment. That simple call and her help on the phone suddenly made me go from feeling lost in this sea of medical professionals who don’t care about us, to feeling like we matter, like our concerns are real and that they truly want to help us. We’ve had so little of this for the past 3 years, so this is a breath of fresh air to feel confident about the next move in our infertility journey.

I really hope this communication with our new doctors will become a regular standard from now on, instead of an isolated incident. Here’s hoping!