Parenting has got to be one of the hardest (but most rewarding, love all those hugs and kisses) parts of life. It is the ultimate trial or "refiner's fire" because unlike a "full-time" job, you never leave it, and it is hardest at the moments when you are the most worn-out, and impatient. For example, tonight, after a late dinner (due to eating after soccer practice) I really felt like just sprawling out on the bed (my stamina has really decreased with pregnancy) and winding down, but I have learned that the sooner you get the kids in bed, the more time you have in the evening to just be together an chill and reconnect, and the kids start to have melt downs after bed time if they aren't in bed. So as much as I would have wanted to just take a break, I told myself that if you can just get through the next hour, life will be good. We struck up a bargain that if he did the dishes, I would bathe the kids, and it was going pretty well, baths usually help the kids wind down, and everyone smells nice and everything. My newest trial has been that when my oldest gets home from school she is so full of energy that she doesn't calm down until she is in her bed. She isn't being naughty, just super excited about everything. Her life is like a musical, she sings and dances to everything, and tries to get everyone else to join in. She still finishes her homework and does her chores, but her energy level just hits the roof. Come to think of it, I wish I could borrow some of that energy. One reason why this is such a trial for me is that she is so loud, and has a hard time calming down, and it starts to grate on my nerves, so by bed-time, when I am already worn out, I have a hard time keeping my cool, and tonight (right before family scripture study) I kinda lost it (way to go Heather, make the kids cry instead of helping them feel the Spirit). I don't mean to make this a confessional, but I woke up a little while ago and can't get back to sleep, and I have been contemplating how I can parent her better. I don't want to squash her spirit and enthusiasm, but I can't loose my sanity and I feel responsible to keep peace in my home, it is hard on the other kids sometimes when she is demanding and attracting so much attention.
So, as I can't sleep, I decided to read some of the conference talks that really made an impression on me. There was one phrase from Elder Anderson's talk on moral discipline that has been running through my mind ever since I heard it, "Our aim must be for them to become truly converted to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ while they are with us." He was actually quoting President Eyring from a talk he gave to seminary teachers. I took "while they are still with us" to mean while our children are still living in our homes. Another phrase from President Eyring's CES talk that I love is,"The pure gospel of Jesus Christ must go down into the hearts of students by the power of the Holy Ghost." This made me think of Alma 31:5 5 " And now, as the preaching
of the word
had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more
powerful effect upon the minds
of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue
of the
word of God." And I was impressed that in my parenting, especially at those moments of exhaustion and all interactions that I have with my kids, I need to incorporate the word of God, into my speech and my actions.
Annika has been really good at helping me remember to have the mind set of "what would Jesus do." She will say things troughout the day like "Jesus said,'Be nice to your brothers and sisters.'" And, "Jesus said to share," (reminding Dallin that it is her turn with a toy). Today she said out of the blue, "Mom, do we need to strengthen our family?"
"Yes, we do need to strengthen our family,"I am thinking,"Where is this going?"
"Why do we need to strengthen our family?"
"So we can be a strong family for when we need to do hard things," ("like surviving cancer or moving to a new state, or helping mom with the new baby," I am thinking to myself).
"Like lifting up heavy water bottles and hard things like that, we need to be a strong family?" As she is hefting a case of water bottles.
Then Dallin shouts out in a defiant tone, "Me no lift water strengthen family!" I am still trying to decipher that one, but the whole conversation did get my thoughts turned more to the spiritual side of things.
So I have come to the conclusion that in order to be a better parent and keep my cool, and help my kids gain a testimony of actually living the Gospel of Jesus Christ and not just going through the motions, I need to have His word "written on my heart." And I need to talk to them about making choices as it relates to what Heavenly Father wants for their lives. Like a friendly Jehovah's Witness lady helped me realize recently, I need to really study my scriptures more than I have been lately.
Back to Ariel's craziness, or I guess a nicer way to say it is enthusiasm, I realize that aside from having a lot of energy, she also has a very large desire for attention, and I am lucky when she is trying to get positive attention instead of negative. So I plan on having a sit-down talk with her about how her behavior effects the whole family (think "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy") and have her come up with strategies to focus her energy in helping the family. She can be very helpful if I give her enough praise, but I have a hard time not only remembering that but also giving her
enough because like I said, she wants
a lot of attention. Sometimes it works to have her go read a book for a while, and she is becoming quite the book worm, but sometimes she just needs to MOVE. I am getting apprehensive about the cold weather that is coming because it won't be as easy to just have her go outside and burn off some of her energy. I bet she will have tons of great ideas.
On another note, to update you on our home-school preschool attempt. For 6 weeks it has gone pretty well. We had two other friends coming over every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. We did art projects, learned a letter a day, sang songs, played, had snacks, read stories. It was great, but the sweet little boy from our ward who was such a hard worker and good example to everyone else (Dallin was going to preschool too) is moving, and the other little boy, doesn't listen and can't hold a pencil or use scissors, or share toys, and by that time of day the baby in my tummy is telling me I need a nap. So, I think I am going to start doing preschool with just Annika in the mornings. I wish that we could find some little 4 year old girls to be Annika's friends. My three strategies haven't really panned out yet : there is only 1 other girl in her morning dance class (I attribute that to the lack of stay-at-home moms in this area), we didn't sign up for story time fast enough and the walk-in one is full of babies, not preschoolers, and it has been harder to make friends through Moms Club than I thought, and I joined the wrong one geographically--they live in a different school district.
I have been taking a Zumba class while Annika is in her dance class, but maybe I should quit, so I can stand around with the one other mom watching our girls dance and become her best friend and set up play dates for our daughters. But with the cold weather, how I am going to get my exercise in? I just found out today that there is one more slot open in the Thursday afternoon preschool story time, and I can just hang out with Dallin in the library while that is happening, maybe we will meet some friends that way. And maybe I should just forget about the dues and join the right Moms club, or go to both. Decisions, decisions........I miss living in Holladay, where Annika (as a two year-old) had a group of friends.
First day of school.
Other cute shots.
I just love it when little kids play by themselves and take care of their toys as if they were real. 
