I learned a little about tension in the process. She had to sit still so that I could concentrate and pull the bangs out with the comb at the right angle, and slowly cut lock by lock, strand by strand. If she moved her head or glanced down, I would loose my much needed tension and have to start with that lock all over again. Luckily she wanted it bad enough and had enough patience to hold still over and over again as I cut as I learned. The whole thing got me thinking about tension and family dynamics.
I don't know if it makes my family dysfunctional or not, but we get the most done when there is a little tension. Like having people coming over for dinner gets everyone motivated to clean up a little better than normal. Unfortunately, I instinctively try to create tension sometimes to get people to do things, and often times, it backfires and just gets everyone upset and frustrated. I am trying to find a better way to get things done. Some of my options are 1) being happy with whatever anyone else is willing to do (very hard for me) 2) doing it all myself (can be the easier route, if I am in the right mental state of mind) 3) become Mary Poppins, cheerful, yet strictly holding people to high expectations. The hardest part of it all (and by all I mean LIFE) is letting go, and being OK with other people's choices.
Last night there was a dinner for the women in our stake. Last year I was on the committee to plan and carry out the same dinner. So, last night I kept comparing how this one was to last years' and I tried to get the ladies at my table to engage in a conversation comparing the two. I got called out on being negative, by a lady who is herself often kind of negative, and knows it, so is aware of it. She said that when people call her negative, she calls it analytical. Does over analyzing things make me a mental case? Do I have a hard time just going with the flow and smelling the roses, because my life is not exciting enough and I am just creating drama, or just looking for a little tension? Have I somehow conditioned myself to never be satisfied, that there is something wrong with accepting things (people) for how they are?
If you are still with me, on to the next topic........
How watching TV makes me a better mom (I am saying this tongue in cheek of course). For a few days in a row, Dallin kept asking me to make pancakes (something I hadn't done since we last had overnight guests almost a year ago.) My excuse was that we had no toppings for pancakes. I have an aversion to the stickiness of syrup, having grown up with 8 sticky siblings on Saturday mornings when our dad would make pancakes for us, and memories of failure to unstickify the table, so I never buy the stuff. Since our anniversary when I was really craving good cake (Emily, likes those Armenian ones Svetlana would order in Salt Lake) and went to a "fancy" Italian bakery, but got only a so-so cake, the craving has only grown stronger. Something about fresh cream filling (not some shortening and sugar abomination). That morning I finally remembered to buy heavy cream for whipping, so when this commercial came on.....
I was motivated and all of the necessary factors were in-line to make cute pancakes for Dallin, and everyone else enjoyed them too. I put some almond extract into the whipped cream to give it a unique flavor and whipped it a little more than is necessary for whipped cream, making it feel even more substantial.
In fact I had whipped it so much that when I detached the whisk attachment, the thick cream, stayed in it, so I sat down and propped my feet up and enjoy about 29 seconds of serenity, with my eyes closed and my mouth full of soft creamy almond flavored goodness......until about 50 little fingers also shared in my pleasure.
