Friday, September 24, 2010

Tension and how watching TV makes me a better mom

So, remember how Ariel wanted "side bangs" back in March? Well, last week Adriana coerced me into learning how to and cutting some for her. I watched about 5 videos on You Tube about how to do it and then I did it. It took a loooong time, and here are the results:

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I learned a little about tension in the process. She had to sit still so that I could concentrate and pull the bangs out with the comb at the right angle, and slowly cut lock by lock, strand by strand. If she moved her head or glanced down, I would loose my much needed tension and have to start with that lock all over again. Luckily she wanted it bad enough and had enough patience to hold still over and over again as I cut as I learned. The whole thing got me thinking about tension and family dynamics.
I don't know if it makes my family dysfunctional or not, but we get the most done when there is a little tension. Like having people coming over for dinner gets everyone motivated to clean up a little better than normal. Unfortunately, I instinctively try to create tension sometimes to get people to do things, and often times, it backfires and just gets everyone upset and frustrated. I am trying to find a better way to get things done. Some of my options are 1) being happy with whatever anyone else is willing to do (very hard for me) 2) doing it all myself (can be the easier route, if I am in the right mental state of mind) 3) become Mary Poppins, cheerful, yet strictly holding people to high expectations. The hardest part of it all (and by all I mean LIFE) is letting go, and being OK with other people's choices.
Last night there was a dinner for the women in our stake. Last year I was on the committee to plan and carry out the same dinner. So, last night I kept comparing how this one was to last years' and I tried to get the ladies at my table to engage in a conversation comparing the two. I got called out on being negative, by a lady who is herself often kind of negative, and knows it, so is aware of it. She said that when people call her negative, she calls it analytical. Does over analyzing things make me a mental case? Do I have a hard time just going with the flow and smelling the roses, because my life is not exciting enough and I am just creating drama, or just looking for a little tension? Have I somehow conditioned myself to never be satisfied, that there is something wrong with accepting things (people) for how they are?

If you are still with me, on to the next topic........
How watching TV makes me a better mom (I am saying this tongue in cheek of course). For a few days in a row, Dallin kept asking me to make pancakes (something I hadn't done since we last had overnight guests almost a year ago.) My excuse was that we had no toppings for pancakes. I have an aversion to the stickiness of syrup, having grown up with 8 sticky siblings on Saturday mornings when our dad would make pancakes for us, and memories of failure to unstickify the table, so I never buy the stuff. Since our anniversary when I was really craving good cake (Emily, likes those Armenian ones Svetlana would order in Salt Lake) and went to a "fancy" Italian bakery, but got only a so-so cake, the craving has only grown stronger. Something about fresh cream filling (not some shortening and sugar abomination). That morning I finally remembered to buy heavy cream for whipping, so when this commercial came on.....


I was motivated and all of the necessary factors were in-line to make cute pancakes for Dallin, and everyone else enjoyed them too. I put some almond extract into the whipped cream to give it a unique flavor and whipped it a little more than is necessary for whipped cream, making it feel even more substantial.
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In fact I had whipped it so much that when I detached the whisk attachment, the thick cream, stayed in it, so I sat down and propped my feet up and enjoy about 29 seconds of serenity, with my eyes closed and my mouth full of soft creamy almond flavored goodness......until about 50 little fingers also shared in my pleasure.

Learning how to pedal can be frustrating

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So can trying to cook dinner while the baby is crying, the big kids aren't sitting down to do their homework, and the little kids are having a melt down because they refused to take naps. It gets even more frustrating when nobody eats the dinner. Maybe I should go back to making boring food, but it is hard to get inspired to do it then. I am going to institute mandatory naps from 2 to 3, because honestly, I need one in order to face the evening maddening minutia.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

First day of school pictures and more for the viewing pleasure of the Miner Little Women and other loved ones

ImageWe made it out the door after capturing the escaped hamster.....


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But almost missed the bus.



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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What Limits?

So, I am being a "Bad Mom" right now. Just kidding, I know i am entitled to some "me" time and I don't have to beat myself up over not making the kids tow the line all the time. Everyone, except Alice who I just got to fall asleep, is downstairs, watching TV. And it is bed time. And I am blogging, and just letting them watch. We got cable a few weeks ago, and the novelty of it hasn't worn off yet. One of our favorite channels is the HGTV channel. It is all about either buying a house, decorating a house, or remodeling a house. Things that both my hubby and I are interested in and the commercials aren't the type that we have to send the kids out of the room or change the channel.
So this situation started with me leaving with Ariel at 6:30 to go to the highschool for a meeting about band for all of the new 4th graders in the district. I had made a nice dinner (Thai Red Curry Salmon) and hoped that the dishes would get done as a sign of gratitude. Well maybe not hoped, becasue I was pretty doubtful that it would happen, and I didn't take the baby with me. So when I got home I had to take care of the baby right away (read she was crying in an especially sad way), and asked each of the other family members to help with the dishes while I took care of her, at the computer, which got me reading blogs.
And now that the baby is calmed and sleeping I really don't feel like being the enforcer and going downstairs to a messy kitchen and everyone sitting in front of the TV, and I am remembering a conversation I had earlier today with another mom, where I shared my "wisdom" about how kids need limits and structure blah blah blah........