FAMILY PICTURES

I am obsessed with family pictures and even though we had some done last August, I was not going to miss an opportunity to have our pics taken again. Especially with the fact Olivia has changed so much since then. It's important to me to document the changes and I love having high quality images to do that. My last year at SUU I had two amazing roomies. I made some signs for KyLee's wedding and in exchange she agreed to take some family pics for me. BEST TRADE EVER.

THANKS KY. I will cherish these forever.

check out @kyeimage on instagram

Pumpkin Patch

I have been wanting to take Olivia to the pumpkin patch ever since they opened. Life got busy and by the time we were going to go, the weather in Cedar was just plain crappy. Luckily we had the opportunity to take her to one in Farmington and she loved it! She was kind of a turkey that whole trip and definitely being a toddler, but when I look at these pictures I know she had so much fun! Sometimes it's so easy to get wrapped up in the moment. Livy was being so difficult and I kept thinking "why am I doing this? I'm trying to do something fun for her and she isn't even having fun or appreciating it." I know that won't be the last time I think that either. I need to focus on realizing how old she really is and relishing in all the joys and hardships of the toddler stage. Truth be known, having a toddler really is the greatest. I love my little pumpkin. 

[Here you can see how frustrated Liv and I both were while Daddy is carefree] 

I am blessed beyond measure to have this little soul in my life. She helps me to be a better person and loves me even on my worst days. Bless our children's sweet spirits to forgive us when we aren't as patient as we should be. 

Also: Cheers to my mom for capturing these pictures! It's nice having your own photographer following you around!

If It Matter to You

Sitting at home with a baby/toddler, you have a lot of time to think about every facet of your life. For some time I have felt lost. Lost in the people I love the most. I know I am Aaron's wife. I know I am Olivia's mother. But who am I? Don't you get me wrong, I LOVE being these 2 things and I would never trade them for the world. However, I feel like I have lost a little bit of Alexis. I want to gain back being an individual while also embracing my most important roles of wife and mother.

For a while after I had Olivia, I had a hard time not using my college degree. I felt like I had to justify to everyone why I wasn't working and you know what? It was hard. I desperately had wanted to teach for a couple years before we started having kids, but instead God granted me the greatest gift I could have been given. I love staying home with Olivia. It is a dream. I love being there for every milestone and I'm grateful to my husband for working so hard so that I can. Yes I work one day a week at the job I've had for the last 9 1/2 years and some days I feel like why am I still here? I feel like everyone else thinks that too. I am a planner and a goal oriented person. I want to know where I am going to be in a year or 5 years. I have had to learn life doesn't always work out the way you have planned. God has a bigger and better plan for you. I have had to learn to go with the flow and to live in the moments in front of me. This is extremely hard for me. I will always have to work on not thinking about the future. In order to feel fulfilled as my own individual, without using my degree, I have tried to have hobbies that I can still have while being a stay at home mom. Sometimes I feel bad for wanting alone time (which is such a rare thing as a mom) but I know that I need it in order to be the wife, mother and individual that I want to be.

I cling to music, movies, and literature because I want to fall in love with a story that makes me feel like I'm not alone. Like someone out there feels exactly how I feel. I love finding something that speaks so true to my heart that I can't cope with life because I am so lost in being happy.

• I love reading. I love getting lost in a good book and feeling like the words are speaking directly to me. I love feeling like I can't get on with my life because I can't get over the book I just read. It's been a goal of mine this year to read a book a month and I have stuck to it, I hope I can continue on with this goal through the years to come. I forgot how much I loved to read and I'm so happy that a goal I made has brought me so much happiness.
• I love film. I obsess over the characters and what will happen next. I fall in love with the stories tv shows tell and I never want them to end. I enjoy watching the similarities and differences of movies done by my favorite directors. Thanks to my mother in law and her oscar party every year I have wanted to throughly study the films in the various categories. It's a hobby that I share with my husband and on my own.
• I love food. I love to cook and to watch people enjoy my creations. I have had to get over "oh I want to lose weight" because guess what baby? I like food WAY TO MUCH. As long as I feel comfortable and healthy in my body, I want to find a balance of healthy eating and indulging in amazing cuisine. 
• I haven't got a clue who I am as a whole. I may think I know bits and pieces of who I am, but I really think the whole point of life is to find out who you are. It may be different at every stage of your life. I know I've changed a lot since high school, since college, since becoming married and since becoming a mother. All I care is that I am continuing to change for the better, that I am continuing to do things that make me happy, and being true to myself.

I'll leave you with:

Above all remember this, if it matters to you who cares if it matters to anyone else.

 

That Summer Life

This summer has been wonderful. It wasn't our first summer with Olivia, but it was our first summer where I didn't feel like it was 1000 degrees everyday due to nursing, I wasn't stuck to a pump every other hour, and Olivia actually knew what was going on! It was a summer of firsts and one that I will always cherish. Aaron graduates in December and it's really hit me that this could be our last summer in this house or Cedar City in general. We have tried our best to make so many memories and cherish all the ones we've made. Here's a glimpse into what our summer looked like. 

[Master of the Slide] 

[Bubble Queen]

[Playing at Nana's with cousins. Always in the water or sandbox]

[First time Bowler]

[Swimming at our favorite casa: The Mills]

[Helping mom pick out plants for our garden]

[National donut day]

[She is obsessed with the carousel even though she doesn't look like it]

[First haircut by Great Aunt Aimee]

[Playing at Grandma Alger's house]

[First time at the movies and she sat through the whole thing]

[First time to the zoo]

[Started making the "cheese" face]

[And again, here]

[What a little poser]

[Howling like a wolf with Daddy]

[Trip to Cedar Breaks]

[Trip to Navajo Lake]