I said in my last post that there were some really exciting
things happening for us. Well at the time I wrote it I was waiting for the
right time to announce that Baby #3 was on the way. I was so excited! I have
wanted another baby for a while now and after getting Andy fully on board and
having our insurance stuff all worked out we were ready! As soon as I saw the
positive sign on the pregnancy test this baby was a part of our family! I had
nursery ideas and names already in my head! I miscarried at 6 weeks. I never in
my wildest dreams thought I would miscarry. Both of my girls were so easy to
conceive and carry. I thought I was one of the lucky ones.
Well needless to say
my world turned upside down that Sunday I came home from church to see that I
had blood in my garments. I did some research online to find out why I might be
bleeding. Everything I read said that bleeding/spotting was perfectly normal in
the first trimester. To be safe I spent the rest of the day in bed. The next
morning I woke up to a lot more blood. I immediately called my Doctor. He told
me to get some blood work done to be sure if was miscarrying or not. He told me
that it was most likely that I would or have lost the baby. I was devastated. I
called my mom and she came over to watch the girls while I did my blood work. I
had to get some blood drawn then wait 48 hours and get it done again so that
they could compare the numbers. High numbers mean everything is good low
numbers mean miscarriage. In my head I was thinking that it was just going to
be a little scare and everything was going to be fine.... Well I was wrong. The
numbers came back a few days later and they were really really low. I'm
grateful I wasn't far enough along where a D&C was needed. One of my tender
mercies from my Heavenly Father. Another tender mercy was our insurance started
the day I had to get my blood work done. Before that we had zero coverage.
As hard as this experience was/is I know that everything
happens for a reason. I know that the sweet little spirit will be back! Things
weren't quite right with my body preventing that spirit from their own body. A
friend of mine came over with her husband to give me a blessing. Andy had
called her husband and just told him I needed a blessing. He didn't give any
details. When she walked in the door she came right over and hugged me and
asked if I had miscarried. It kind of took me by surprise that she knew. She
told me that on the way over she just had a feeling that is what had happend.
Hailie had miscarried 4 years ago and knew exactly what I was going through. It
was so nice having her there to hug and talk to. She knew how I was feeling. She
even rubbed my feet! She gave me a foot zone and told me that she thought that
little spirit will be back. It brought a lot of peace when she told me that.
Family and friends that we broke the news to were very
loving and sweet. I received so many phone calls, beautiful flowers, an amazing
package from my Mother in law and sister in laws, I even got dinner from my
Brother in law and his sweet wife. I have felt so loved through it all. I have
some truly amazing people in my life.
I have so much to be grateful for. We just bought a
beautiful new house that is closer to Andy's work so we will be able to spend
more time with him. We sold our house in a matter of days. 3 days to be exact.
Things are working out for us. God is watching out for us. I need to remind
myself from time to time that I can't control everything. God has a plan for me
and he wants me to learn something from this experience. I need to be more
patient, humble, and trust in Him completely.
.JPG)
