Made with GLOGmas cheer for The Greatest Poster In The World, Meg. (Perhaps clarifyingly, also known as Cowfrog)
I, the humble writer only known as Isk, am full of love for a topic that you may be familiar with in theory, but will be surprised to find has depth heretofore unknown by us in the west. I speak of course of the unparalleled Cowfrog, a hefty hopping heifer that has left me gobsmacked.
Never a more gorgeous specimen have I seen in all my life, I assure you. The humble Tree-Wagyu is a bovine amphibian with such an astounding presence, brightly colored hide with a thin furry coat and an even thinner layer of mucus coating. They are the apex prey, with fat eyes that scan separately to achieve 360 degrees of sight, large protective horns that jut like keratinous cones from behind, which the eyes can shift slightly to hide behind for protection. They can smell on a spectrum that includes light and color, and hear tumultuous weather long before it arrives.
Most bovine amphibians herd together in mucky riverbeds to feed on rice paddies and red onions, using their lengthy shovel-like tongues to rip the wild crops up at their roots. In fact, families with the know-how and patience to raise such a beautiful beast will find that they don’t mind sharing the vegetables of their labor, so long as they get their fair share of course!
What seem to be knobbly and pathetic front legs are in fact twin shock absorbers that perfectly counteract the powerful hind legs of the Tree-Wagyu, which has a kick force that would put the most powerful of stallions to shame! In fact, I witnessed a stampede of Tree-Wagyu that shook the very land, and had an unfortunate casualty count of two. Those poor ranch-hands were new to the job, and made a mistake that most experienced with the humble Cowfrog would have burned into their very soul. Never freeze when they begin to hop, you will be flattened as thin as the very firmament in these mountainous lands.
While the sheer size of these bovine amphibians is a defensive measure against the cold and of course due to their digestive rumen, it is not their only benefit! Should you touch the thin mucosae that builds like dew along their grassy fur, you will find yourself stunned both physically and mentally for long enough that they shall escape the area, and any perceived danger. Now, this is not the only problem that the mucosae presents, as if you should find yourself allowing the slime to percolate on your hands for long, you will be dead within the day. I assure you.
But alas, the fruit of the forbidden tree is sweetest, and that is why after all this espousing about danger I must give you the unfortunate news. The humble Tree-Wagyu is delicious in every sense of the word. The milk it leaks from its tadpole-tail looking teats is as sweet as the juice of a fresh peach, with the body of a light cream and the tang of a refreshing lime. But no, it does not stop there! For the marbled meat that makes up its muscled mass is mercifully melting in ones mouth when marinated with mighty flame.
But while the freshly butchered give, so too do the long-living and even young among the Cowfrogs. Within their very guts are a labor force of four chambers that make up such a thrilling stomach. The rumen, the reticulum, the omasum, and abomasum, as I have learned they are called, make up a stomach system that can decimate food and multiply gasses. I hear you my readers, my friends (so I should like us to be), you believe this to be the same as the cow, but it is not so! I have made this mistake and the cattlers of these mountains have deemed me a fool, and rightfully so. The gasses that bloat the stomach of a cow rise through a the long paunch sac which ends in the four-bubbled throat of the beautiful beast, and in the powerful paunch is the punch of potent alcohol!
Yes! I hear you gasping, shocked by what you hear. The creature makes alcohol too? It does my friends, and it is a wicked spirit that haunts my bones with flavor and fierceness that I will crave long after my bottles have emptied, I promise you. But for reasons related to its strange (and dangerous, I’m told) collection methods, I am not allowed by my own oath to share how it is made, but alas, you should find it, buy it, and buy more when you’ve realized it’s punch.
To those who find themselves wondering how the humble Tree-Wagyu had gone this long without garnering their attention, I say to you that I felt much the same way, and that is what fueled my mad weeks of research and writings. That, and the addictive zest of learning all I can about the River Kingdom. Farewell my friends, until my next journal makes its way to your shores.
The following statistics are for use in the hack of your choosing, formatted shamelessly like the creatures found in the Monster Overhaul.
Cowfrog
# Appearing: hopping stampedes of 2d6
HD: 6 (27 HP)
Appearance: Snuffling nose, bulging eyes, powerful legs, thin fuzzy hide, nigh-invisible mucosae.
Voice: Deep, yawning moo-ribbits
Wants: To be left the hell alone. To eat buggy grass.
Morality: Once startled, hard to calm.
Intelligence: Quiet contemplation, wide-eyed caution.
Armour: as chain.
Move: normal, swim 2x normal. deep mud is not difficult terrain. Can leap up to 20′ vertically or 40′ horizontally without warning.
Morale: 9
Damage: 1d8 gore / 2d10 full-body crush. Those unfortunately caught under the Cowfrog after it hops must save to take half damage.
If a Cowfrog is touched without protective gear, the unprotected creature must save or be paralyzed for 1d4 hours. If the mucous is not cleaned off within the hour, the paralyzed creature will die in 2d12 hours if they do not drink the fresh milk of the very Cowfrog which affected them.
Treasure: Mucous, if collected in a glass vial, is worth 40gp. A bottle of the lime-green milk is worth 10gp. The four-bubble paunch sac will sell for 300gp to the right buyer, only if kept intact.
A Sense of Immersion 
