Happy Easter!

I love Easter!  I love that it is a time for renewal and a time to think of how we can "spring clean" not only our home but our lives.  I'm so grateful to know Christ overcame death and that this life is not final.  I will be with my dad again!  We will embrace and joke and laugh together.  

Likewise, my niece and nephews will be with their dad again.  Recently, my sister was performing in a choir and I took my nephew to listen to the concert.  He is a normal 3-yr old full of energy and questions but sat so still and quietly on my lap during the performance.  I was grateful to attend and enjoyed the cuddles.  But my heart broke as I did, wishing so badly that his dad could be the one holding him.  Sometimes the injustice of my brother-in-law's death overwhelms me and emotions come flowing.  I'm sure the person next to me thought my tears were because of the lovely music.  :)

My sweet sister gave the most amazing talk today and shared her testimony of Christ's resurrection and his atonement.  I want to share one small part of it:

"Elder Bednar said this in General Conference, "Thus, the Savior has suffered not just for our sins and iniquities—but also for our physical pains and anguish, our weaknesses and shortcomings, our fears and frustrations, our disappointments and discouragement, our regrets and remorse, our despair and desperation, the injustices and inequities we experience, and the emotional distresses that beset us.

There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first. In a moment of weakness we may cry out, “No one knows what it is like. No one understands.” But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He has felt and borne our individual burdens. And because of His infinite and eternal sacrifice (see Alma 34:14), He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy. He can reach out, touch, succor, heal, and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do relying only upon our own power."

So, with this remembering, we can know that whatever injustices in life we experience, or whatever we miss out on, whatever is bittersweet or even just plain bitter, will be ameliorated somehow one day. We talk about sins of commission and sins of omission. Well, I think it is the same for pain and sorrow. There are pains from something being committed against us and pains of things missing from our lives and each is hard. But each will be corrected. In conference, President Packer said, "As a servant of the Lord, acting in the office to which I have been ordained, I give . .  a promise that there will be nothing essential to your salvation and exaltation that shall not in due time rest upon you. Arms now empty will be filled, and hearts now hurting from broken dreams and yearning will be healed." My children will be able to not only be with their father but have the years that they had to live on this earth and grow up without him made up for! All Because Jesus won! Though death feels so horribly final and felt so overpowering to me last Easter, death lost. Jesus was victorious because he let HIS will be SWALLOWED UP in the will of his father.  He suffered for our sins, mistakes, grief, pain and sorrow in Gethsemane and rose from the grave on the third day.  I know that He did. And I am so grateful that He did."

What a comfort and strength my sister's testimony is to me.   She amazes me!  Life is hard and isn't fair.  I don't understand why some have such heavy burdens to bear.  But I add my testimony to that of my sister's--some day all will be made right because of Christ's sacrifice and love for us.  Because He won.

I'm grateful for these three and what I learn from them:

patience and about the Lord's timing and will

patience and how to forgive

    

patience and to enjoy the moment

Apparently I need to learn patience.  :)  They are little trouble makers but worth every long night and mess they make.  Each with their own personality and goodness.  I am grateful for the opportunity of raising them and pray we can teach them what they need to know to lead happy and good lives. 

And now for the pagan aspect of today…

This is Samara rolling her eyes because I wanted a picture.  She is my little crafting bee and if Pintrest weren't already invented, she probably would have created the concept herself.  She came up with the idea to make soap in our easter egg mold and give it as gifts with a note that says "we wash you a happy Easter!"

They ended up with more color on them than the eggs did.

"Is this for me, mommy?"

"I think I'll just eat this plastic one."

The joy of the hunt!

Seven

How does this sweet baby face change to 

this one so quickly?!  I know I say it every year, but seven REALLY seems so much older than six.   She's grown up so much this year.  First grade (and being at school all day) is such a big jump.  She's doing the Mandarin immersion program and it's been a great fit for her.  One day she took quarters to buy some pencils and came home with the quarters.  When I asked her why she brought the quarters back unspent, she said, "well, the machine didn't work and it just took the quarters.  So I found Mrs. Pratt and told her and got my quarters back." Sometimes I'm amazed that she's her own independent person all day long. 

I don't blog much but I figured if I write some things out on each of my children's birthdays then all will not be forgotten when they are older!  Kids change so quickly that I find myself forgetting all the little things they do.  Here are some things I want to record/remember about her at this age:

Samara loves to draw and make notes for and about everything and for everyone.  The school she attends for the immersion program is not in our boundaries.  One day my neighbor, who knows Samara goes there, stopped by and told me how she volunteers at the library to help her friend, who is the school librarian. The librarian proudly showed her a drawing one of the students had given her.  The librarian thought it was so clever and sweet.  Our neighbor noticed it was signed "Samara B" and said, "that has to be my little neighbor".

I love her creativity and imagination.  She's always coming up with something.  After we came home from a trip to Bryce Canyon, she made a note for the door that said "Welcome to Bryce Canyon Inn" and put numbers on each of the doors in our house representing a room in the Inn.  She ran a hotel for a couple weeks after the trip.

She loves to take the lead and has a good sense of responsibility.  She was born wanting to run the show. :)  I recently wrote her teacher about some homework because I wasn't sure Samara understood correctly and her teacher wrote back "Samara is a very responsible student.  If she tells you something about homework then you can believe her."

She loves being involved whenever she gets to come to YW activities with me and jumps right in to plan things. She helped with an activity recently that was at our house and said, "I'm Sister Bikman Jr. and I'm in charge of …." then proceeded to tell the girls about the activity.  She loves having a babysitter--a captive teenage friend!

 In primary, I've been told several times, "we can always count on Samara to give an answer."  She obviously gets that from her dad and not me!  ;) We were talking about that one day when she said something to the effect that it's so hard to know the answer because she feels obligated to respond and then grown ups always think it's so funny/cute.  

Samara is a fun friend.  Every day when I ask her who she played with at recess, she tells me a different name.  "I just play with whoever is around." One of her classmates moved last week and wanted to do his last playdate with Samara.  When I dropped her off, I was telling his mom how much Samara enjoyed playing with him.  His mom then told me how he struggled finding friends and one day she was at the school helping and feeling sad about it.  So, she asked the teacher's aide who she thought could be a playmate for him and Samara piped in.  They've been buddies ever since.  Proud mama moment!

We sure love our spunky and spirited SEVEN year old.

One Year Old

This beautiful soul is one!  I can't believe it.  Only posting this two months later because I actually took him to a studio for photos but the photographer's memory card got fried.  So much for alleviating the stress of photos.  :)  It's taken me this long to get around to taking pictures myself. 

I'm so grateful Asher is part of our family.  His sweet spirit has been a calming comfort to me this past year.  I really don't know what I would have done without him.

He poked and nibbled but didn't fully invest into the cake smash.  This was his actual birthday.

Some of his favorites and things we want to remember about him at the one year mark.

Since his birthday, he's taken a few steps but isn't interested in walking.  He's becoming a tease and likes to be involved.  He loves crawling up the stairs and finding things to get into.  He loves the dishwasher and being outside.

The best is when he wants my attention and I'm talking to someone else.  He'll lean his head to the side and look at me.  If I don't start paying attention then he gives me slobbery kisses.  I love it!  Asher boy, thank you for the goodness, happiness, laughter, and love you bring into our home.  We're so glad you're our boy!

Ice Castle

We ventured up to the ice castle in Midway.  It is really cool (literally) and worth the visit.

Eleven Months

Asher normally LOVES the camera.  He readily smiles and is happy to get his photo taken.

This month…not so much.  He smiled for about 30 seconds and then wanted to crawl out of the bucket. He was obsessed and determined to grab the camera.  This wasn't such a bad thing because I am obsessed with the faces he makes when he's upset.  I'm so glad I captured them.

He has a pouty bottom lip that quivers to warn you of his impending sobs.  My dad used to tease me about my pouty bottom lip and I can see why he thought it was so cute. :)

His cry is still pretty mellow comparatively and he's really so dang cute when he wails.  

Samara was trying to help me get him to smile.  She said to him, "Asher, you better smile or mom will only have these to post on Instagram and that will ruin your reputation of always smiling."  bahaa! Where does she come up with these things?  

His new tricks this past month included saying "maa" (more), crawling, and giving kisses on demand.

My sweet baby boy, please don't turn one!!

Ten Months

 Finally... a mutually enjoyable activaty for these two.  She loves being responsible for him and he gets a big kick of riding in the doll stroller.  And why shouldn't he?!  Doll companies would make a fortune if they replicated him. :)

The dimple!

When I pulled out his monthly stickers, I almost cried seeing there are only two left.

Growing up means these beautiful thighs will sadly thin out. 

He's working on his crawl.

He's not in a hurry to learn and that is OK with me.

His new tricks this month are clapping when you say, "Yay for Asher!" and shaking his head "no" when you ask him a question.

He says, "Mama", "Dada", "Hi" and waves "bye-bye".

Even when he's stressed and on the verge of fussing, he's still sweet.

4.5 teeth and counting.

Trimming the Tree

Today was a magical day for me and probably one of the nicest I've had all year.  This year has been long and the past few months have been frustrating and stressful.  I've just been piddling by and not enjoying life much.  But today was wonderful.  Nothing elaborate just a simple and enjoyable day.   We saw "Frozen"and I thoroughly enjoyed it (yes, I do need to get out more)!  My sister hosted a wonderful dinner.  It was so stress-free and delicious.  Kids played with cousins and all got along great. Then it was home to trim the tree. There is nothing I love more than the smell of the tree, pulling out our ornaments from all over the world, and listening to Christmas music while we decorate. 

 Elizabeth couldn't get enough of hanging the ornaments.   Poor thing has had a rough time lately with some health concerns (nothing life threatening, but frustrating).   I LOVE seeing her happy.

 She wanted everyone to lift her up higher.

The best part is we are going to cut down a second tree tomorrow, a dream come true.  I've always wanted two trees!

Feeling blessed to have such a splendid day.  I must admit though that I'm not sure Santa's elf won't be rearranging some of the ornaments. :)