Bene Gesserit Witch

Such a simple thing. I reach out my hand in the dark theater and line it up. Our hands almost match. My daughter looks at the hand, then at her mother. Her tiny hand reaches up and joins mine. The three of us, communing in this private moment shared by millions, spanning tens of thousands of years.

I think of that handprint every so often, especially when said daughter draws on the walls of our apartment. As I take out the magic eraser and rub the marks away, I think back to that hand. Its fingers identical to mine, with the exception of that slightly crooked pinky.

How did they brake their pinky? Was it as dramatic as getting caught as they were prying their spear out of the tough hide of the rhinoceros they were hunting? Or perhaps it was something as pedestrian as tripping over a rock and landing funny. Something that could just as easily happen to me.

I feel such a kinship with this person. This person to felt the need to imprint themselves on this cave wall. Their need to prove their existence. The whovillian shout of “We are here!” that we all exclaim at one point or another in our lives.

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It took me a little bit to remember the password for this blog. That’s how long it’s been. Heck, I’ve had a second baby since my last post. Anyway, I’m thinking about reviving this blog. Our family blog is for just that; this blog is a place for me to post musings that are too long or involved for a tweet or a facebook post, or too obscure and/or controversial to put on the family blog. I have had a couple things in mind to post, but I’ll need to think of them again, as they’ve flown out of my head at the moment.

I’ve found that it’s hard to keep things inside of my mind in general, lately. Thoughts, memories, reminders. I remember having this problem the last time I had a baby. Just yesterday hubby was going to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I called him because I thought of something else for him to get. I was losing the thought at the same time I was vocalizing it, like a spell on a scroll that wasn’t prepared (obscure D&D analogy). I had to concentrate hard to maintain it inside of my mind long enough to tell him what it was. Even now, typing this, I couldn’t tell you what I needed him to get from the store.

It’s frightening, really. It reminds me of the first couple episodes of this season’s Doctor Who, with the Silence, a new villian cooked up by the brilliant Stephen Moffet.

The silence are all around us, manipulating  and controlling us. They look like this:

You’d think you’d remember something like that if you saw it, right? Well, they have a power where you forget about their existence unless you’re looking directly at one. You’re eating your breakfast when you turn around and see it. You emit a blood-curdling scream then turn around and continue to eat your breakfast, oblivious that anything was amiss at all. Then later, you have a lingering feeling that there was something important you forgot, only you don’t know what it is, so you dismiss the feeling.

Am I forgetting something?

Oh right. Blogging. So anyway, I will endeavor to use this blog more often. It will probably be more for me than anything, as I doubt anyone checks it any more other than my mother (hi mom!). Unless you have me subscribed on your google reader, in which case, good for you!

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So my mom recently posted in my most recent entry and it made me realize that I hadn’t posted in my own personal blog in over a year. Wow.

Granted, it’s been a full year of having and raising a baby, graduating from law school (hubby), and other things. Maybe I’ll post more on each of those later.

In the meantime, I figured I’d better get something down before I chicken out.

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I can’t believe I’m going to mention the TLC show “John & Kate Plus 8,” especially since it’s been in the news so much. But last night there was nothing on TV, and I found myself getting sucked into an episode, though I had never watched the show before.

In this episode, celebrity chef Emeril came to their house to cook a meal. I gotta say I was appalled by the endless little digs Kate was making to John (see eonline.com for more). For example, Emeril would ask John to assist in making granola and Kate would say something like “Do you even know where the stove is?”

I could be coming down on this a little harshly, but I find comments like that to be completely inappropriate—and even downright destructive—in a relationship. We should be building our spouses up, not tearing them down. And the same goes for kids too, and other relationships in general. Hubby and I made a point very early in our relationship, before we were even married, to try to eliminate this type of communication in our marriage, and I think it’s made a huge impact from the beginning. Sure, every once in a while one of us slips up, as we’re imperfect beings, but we try to make a point of calling it out rather than stewing about it. The old clichéd adage of “communication is key” really is true.

There was actually an episode of “This American Life” that explored communication styles in couples and their likelihood of staying together in the long term, where a researcher would simply video record couples communicating and then analyze the tapes, then check back in with the couple at various time intervals. The researcher doing the study said he could even tell during just the first few minutes of the couple interacting the likelihood of their staying together. Listen here for examples of what the researcher was talking about (it’s just the first half-hour): “The Sanctity of Marriage.”

There is hope though. Even if a couple finds themselves stuck in a communication rut where they are constantly making belittling and/or sarcastic comments to each other, they can change! Even just recognizing that you’re doing it is a huge first step.

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So yeah. I’m halfway through my pregnancy and have yet to post about it in my personal blog. How lame am I? Anyway, it’s been a pretty standard pregnancy so far. Sick the first three months, better but bloated the rest of the time. I may post more musings later. For now, just letting you know that I’ll be putting stuff like baby pictures and more family related stuff on a family blog, called “The Magnanimous Murdocks” at http://magnanimousmurdocks.blogspot.com/. I’ve posted the first baby pictures of our girl there now.

I decided to keep this blog more personal musings, etc. So how, personally, do I feel about this whole baby thing? Excited, freaked out, happy, freaked out, overwhelmed with love for this being inside of me, and totally freaked out.

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I can’t remember how old I was. Four? Five? Anyway, we were having a St. Patrick’s day party with some friends, when all of a sudden our parents said, “Oh no! The leprechauns came! Come and look!” We all rushed down to the basement to see.

The place was in disarray. The couch had been turned over and blankets and other debris were strewn about the room. As I and the other kids began to explore, we found candy hidden in various places.

I remember feeling so frustrated that I hadn’t caught them in the act! I was so close to meeting one but they were just too fast for us. The candy helped console me though.

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Hubby and I are not adventurous cooks. Time and money typically limit us to the types of things you can warm up in a toaster oven—and that’s worked out fine. However, I have a secret passion for fancy food.

My favorite thing to do on Saturday mornings is watch the batch of cooking shows that air on the Food Network (minus Sandra Lee and Rachel Ray *shudder*), and secretly lock those recipes into my mind. I long to have a big kitchen with all the utensils, pots and pans, and ingredients I could ever want to make gourmet dishes. In the meantime, I watch Alton Brown’s Good Eats, which airs every night on the Food Network, so I can at least learn some basics and hope for the day I can unleash my inner chef.

I was watching Top Chef the other day, an excellent food competition show on Bravo, and Eric Ripert was the guest judge. He’s a highly respected five-star French chef who really knows his stuff. Today I saw an article announcing his very own PBS cooking show called “Avec Eric.” I was poking around his website, and imagine my surprise when I stumbled across his video section to find a cache of recipes… all cooked in a toaster oven! That’s right. Short little 3-5 minute videos of him making zucchini fritatas, herb roasted chicken tenders, and goat cheese truffles in his frakkin’ toaster oven! I’m in love.

Hubby, prepare to have your taste buds rocked.

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In honor of MLK day (one day late), I’m linking to a comic book that hubby showed me. It’s a civil rights pamphlet that was used and distributed to areas that were attempting to promote change of their own. Hubby said these were even found as far as South Africa.

Most of the book details the experiences had in Montgomery, Alabama, then the last four pages or so tell you how to use the “Montgomery Method” yourself. You can feel the love that Dr. King had for people—even those who despised him—in his words.

I will be forever grateful for everything this man did for our country to promote equality.

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I want to share this video I originally saw on EricdSnider.com. It’s a video of Fred Rogers testifying before congress in 1969 in order for PBS to maintain its funding (Nixon was threatening to slash it):

I found myself welling with tears of gratitude by the end of this video. I used to watch Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood every day when I was very young. It helped me realize that I’m a unique individual, and the feelings I feel as a child are valid.

I’m not familiar with the children’s programs that are out there right now, but I hope that they are even half as worthwhile as Mr. Rogers’ was.

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