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6 months

This little nakey is 6 months old. The time has gone by in a blur. She is the happiest, smiliest, loveliest little girl there ever was. I am not exaggerating. We are all smitten. Her brothers still fight to hold her after school and kiss her squishy cheeks a hundred times a day. Paige is still in awe that she actually has a sister. A sister, she will tell you, she has waited her entire 6 year old life for. And can you even believe that she is finally here? She cannot.  It's like a miracle. A real life miracle. And she's right. Our little Lulu is such a ray of sunshine. They way she squishes up  her nose when she smiles makes me want to eat her little face right up. And so I do. Another hundred times a day that little baby gets smothered in kisses. And she smiles and giggles and makes us all fall a little deeper in  love.

A happy life

I have been feeling extra grateful lately. I am not sure why. Just full of this realization that my life is so, so good. I had a mission companion that used to tell people that I lived a charmed life. It was how she would refer to me after we were home, my friend Erin, the one that leads a charmed life. It bothered me. She thought that nothing bad ever happened to me, that it was smooth sailing all the time. It seemed to bother her a little bit too. But that's not really how it is, or how it was. It is not always smooth sailing. There have been bumps along the way, some big-ish ones and lots of small ones. And it's perfectly ok that way. It's life.

There's ups and downs. I never expected it to be any different. I resisted this idea though, that somehow my life was a charmed one. That somehow I hadn't worked for what I had, that things just fell in my lap. But the thing is, it doesn't bother me anymore. Because I think my friend was right. And maybe I understand what she meant. My life has always been good. And I've always been happy in it. And I think that's the thing, right there. I've been happy. I expected it, looked for it, and usually found it. Even in the rough times, there were tender mercies. And then the happiness came. Not right away, but it always found me. Or I found it. And I think that's the key, to leading a charmed life. To find your happy, wherever you are. To expect it.

And then to be really grateful for all of it. I look back and see all the goodness there is. I see the family I came from and all the love and acceptance I grew up with. My parents are kind and generous. To everyone. They are the best role models. And they continue to do more for me than any parents should ever do for a child. I love them. I had a brother who was funny and loyal and smart. I miss him. I hate that he is gone and why he is gone and I wish, wish, wish that it was different. But it's not. And I refuse to let those wishes taint the happy memories of my childhood with him. And now I have this little family of my own. My husband is so good. To me, to our children, to everyone. We talk and laugh and conspire together. We have that love story. The one I wanted. The one that gave me 5 crazy, beautiful children. My days and nights revolve around them. And it's tiring and fulfilling and hard and amazing all at once. And that is the very best kind of life to have. And I know it. And I am just really, really happy to be in it.

Brothers

 

They are so different, these boys of mine. They are sweet and silly and serious and so many other things. And sometimes it all comes together in just the right way and there is a moment like this.



Primary Program

The primary program is my favorite Sunday of the year. Every year. Paige sang so loud you could hear her above all the other kids on the stage. Jeffrey sat on the stand and made goofy faces with his friend and pretended her was entirely too cool to be there. And Owen, my Owen. He had his part memorized. Just a line. So he got up and said it. And then his friend Max came up behind him. And he stood there at the podium and whispered Max's lines in his ear. Because Max was too nervous to remember. Owen patted him on the back and they both sat down. And I have never been so proud. Ever. And it was just one more reason to love this Sunday and these darling kids of mine.

Boomshakalaka

We went to BYU for the slam dunk contest. It was in the Smith field house and it was hot and stinky and loud and the kids absolutely loved it. 3 of my students are cheerleaders and I took Paige down and introduced her to those cute girls. She was in heaven. They gushed over my girls. Afterwards we met all the basketball players. Boys and girls signed their posters and told Owen he had good hair and asked Jeffrey out on a date. We met Tyler Haws outside and they were star struck. And they should have been. We got a picture and I told him that we watched his Mormon messages video for FHE. He asked them if they were going on missions. Not if they wanted to be basketball players or stud athletes, but if they were going on a mission. They said yes. He said good. And I have never been more impressed. That is the kind of role model I want for these boys of mine. And it made the whole night worth it. And it made me love BYU even more than I do.