Unexpected turn

It turns out, there was an underlying reason why Ben had such a hard time bouncing back after the radiation. We only just learned that his cancer has spread even further, to his liver and lungs. Still, there was time, and he was all set to begin a new type of chemotherapy Monday November 29th. His body had a different plan. His energy continued to decrease over the weekend, even after being able to swallow better. We were certain this was because he had just developed strep throat, and on Monday I took him to the doctor, where he got a prescription of antibiotics.

He wasn't really able to sleep Monday night, first complaining of throat pain as his biggest pain, then it changed to abdominal pain. By morning he was in a lot of pain and also mentally far away, not really able to focus. It was then, Tuesday morning the 23rd, that I realized he was not going to make a recovery. Fortunately for Ben, and unfortunately for us, he did not suffer long. He passed away that evening. We were not ready to say goodbye yet, but we are doing well considering, and our village has been so magnificently wonderful. God is good, and even though it seems impossibly long before we will see him again, when compared with eternity together in heaven, eventually I will feel it was only a blink of an eye.

Aftermath of Radiation Treatment

Filling prescriptions from home on a radiation evening

 Radiation treatment was undertaken so that Ben could swallow better. However, one of the effects of the radiation was that it irritated his upper GI tract, and swallowing became painful. He would eat softer and softer foods, also taking things in slower and slower. Eventually, he couldn't take in enough calories each day, so he began supplementing with intravenous nutrition (TPN) that got pumped into him 14 hours per night.

sporting his new TPN backpack

At the time radiation treatment ended was when he could no longer eat or drink anything by mouth without experiencing enough pain to induce vomiting.  The doctor increased the number of calories in his TPN, but even so, without real food, his energy dropped significantly and he was forced to take a hiatus from work. This made Ben so sad, because work, and helping his patients, is so fulfilling for him. We waited impatiently for the day his body would heal from the radiation, he could take in food and get back to normal.

receiving IV fluids

From that day to this, Ben has relied solely on TPN for all his nutrition, except being able to swallow popsicles, then water and kool aid. He has struggled to control his pain and nausea, trying medications in non-swallowing form that ended up not being a good fit. The great news is that in the last day and a half, his vomiting has reduced by more than two thirds! To help him conserve his energy, we moved our bed downstairs, and having a bed nearby is helping him get better quality sleep during the day. Crossing fingers that this is the turning point we have been waiting for!

2021 fun and adventures

Early March - Ben's canyoneering trip

Feb - Olivia switches from virtual to in-person school

Mid March - Ben turns 47

Late March - spring break in Hawaii

spring break was with Laurel's sister, Lisa, and fam

April - date night to the underground gardens in Fresno

April - Emily and Olivia ran a 5k

Early May - Yosemite

hike to Vernal Falls with nephews, niece and daughters

Mid May - CA coast with Uncle Michael

Late May - biked the Golden Gate Bridge

June - flight to Connecticut. Joe with his aunt Alice

June - visiting Grandpa and Nana in Connecticut

working in waterskiing all summer long.
Chemotherapy made Ben extra sensitive to cold, but he did it anyway!

July - week long waterski retreat with Laurel's side of the family, including folding 1,000 paper cranes for Ben

Early August - deep sea fishing

Early August - visit from Ben's brother, Adam, and sis-in-law, Ina, as well as his Aunt Claire and Uncle Pete

Early August - Sequoia NP, Ben and Adam

@ Six Flags; Joe's first coaster ride

Early September - Six Flags

Late Sept - Ben and Laurel took a weekend in San Francisco, and at Ghiradelli Square recreated a photo taken days before their wedding

October - Joe learns to cook

November - Becca in the play "A Christmas Story"

Catchup of most of 2021

 I ignored this blog for 10 years. They have been good years. But this post is not to talk about them. This post is to share that our family has been touched by cancer. It's a weird thing to say, and a weird thing to write. It's a word that everyone knows can be in their life, but until that moment comes, deep down, we don't truly believe it.

Before Joseph was born, as early as 2019, Ben was having symptoms of constipation. It was an annoyance, no more. He received a colonoscopy that year that came out clean. Once or twice a year, his constipation would be bad enough that it would prevent him from eating much for a few days, but as always, he never missed a day of work. Ben powers through adversity.

By December of 2020, he and his GI doc were investigating more seriously. He tested positive for having the bacteria H. pylori living in his gut. This was a very small probability that cancer was his problem. By February of 2021, in addition to lower abdominal pain, he developed upper abdominal pain, and he began to have trouble swallowing. He received an upper endoscopy in March of this year that gave him a diagnosis of stomach cancer.

In April he received an exploratory surgery that revealed he has metastasis elsewhere in his abdominal cavity. Stage IV stomach cancer. 

Within days, he was able to begin chemotherapy and immunotherapy every two weeks. We began doing all the fun things we've always meant to do (more about that in a separate post), and also tried to keep our family life as normal as possible. Except for every other Friday, and eventually part of the following Monday, he worked full time for those six months of chemotherapy.

Ben with his wonderful chemo nurse

In August, he had a second upper endoscopy because his ability to swallow was again being compromised. The stomach tumor was revealed to have shrunk in one direction, but elongated in another and was growing toward the gastroesophogeal junction. 

Ben elected in October to have radiation therapy targeted at his stomach tumor to prevent it from encroaching further on his esophagus. Radiation therapy was every weekday for 14 treatments. Each day, he would work until about 3pm, then head over to the cancer center (here in Visalia) for his treatment, followed by a slow evening at home to rest. He 'graduated' from radiation therapy on October 26th.

Pics from our Europe trip

I can never make my captions line up with my photos, so do your best at matching it up:
1. London - Houses of Parliament (incl. Big Ben)
2. London - red phone booths (clearly they're all used as urinals nowadays).
3. London - Statue heads of five great minds throughout history :)
4. Paris - Notre Dame cathedral from behind.
5. Paris - one of Monet's water lily paintings.
6. a random french lady putting rice in my hair so pigeons would land on me-- no thank you!!
7. Normandy - one of the D-Day Beaches.
8. Normandy - approaching the Mont St Michel with grazing sheep in the foreground.
9. Chamarande - bicycling up to the château with a good friend.

10. Paris - The must-have Paris photo op.