Out of the shadows and into the light...

I'm not exactly sure why I suddenly decided tonight that I wanted to update my blog.  Maybe it's because my family picture was missing two of my children.  More so, it has to do with the fact that I feel like I am no longer living in "survival mode".  In fact, I left it about 6 months ago, and have gradually been adding things back into my life which I let go of for a time, as well as adding new hobbies and habits that are bringing a lot of joy into my life.  I guess I just feel ready and able to add my little bit to the world "out there".  So for whatever it's worth....here are ten things I've internalized in the past few years which have changed my life for the better.

• I am created in the image of God, which translates into the fact that I am a creator, just as my Father is.  I create my own experiences in this life. And the things that happen with my physical body and in my life are a reflection of the things that are happening inside of me...my thought patterns, my beliefs, etc.  I choose from moment to moment whether I create from a place of faith (positivity, hope, optimism) or from a place of fear (doubt, negativity, anger).  I accept the role of creator in my own life, and let go of blame, criticism, and judgment.  I choose accountability.

• If I have not charity....I am nothing.  "...Charity is kind, suffereth long, envieth not, seeketh not her own...etc."  We are commanded to "love God with all our hearts" and to "love our neighbor" as ourself .  Kindness (charity) begins with me.  When I am kind and patient and encouraging with myself, the love and acceptance I feel for who I am naturally flows outward and spills into my feelings for and interactions with others.  I read recently that love is an outpouring or overflowing of gratitude.  I am grateful to be me.  And I am grateful for the wonderful reflections of the love of God I see in the people I love.

• There is energy in everything.  Emotion is Energy in motion.  Matter is energy.  Light is energy.  All energy carries a vibration.  The words we speak, the thoughts we think, the prayers we offer--our physical bodies-- all carry vibrations.  Positive vibrations we create (and surround ourselves with) contribute to health, light, learning, growth, JOY!  Negative vibrations we create (or surround ourselves with) contribute to sadness, illness, stuckness, darkness.

• Using positive affirmations is an expression of faith in God, and in testimony of my own Divine Nature.

• Jesus Christ knows and understands me perfectly, which enables Him to give me the support and guidance that best serve me in my learning and growth.  People have different natures, or energetic "movements".  Understanding an individual's movement fosters feelings of compassion and acceptance in me, and gives me insight as to the best ways I can serve them (especially my children).

• Understanding oneself is invaluable.  I have learned that I am personally motivated by fun.  Making dinner doesn't have to be a chore for me--especially if I turn up the music and dance while I prepare it, or carve a turtle out of the melon, or arrange the side dishes artistically on each plate. 

• Excercise increases my positive energy levels and is actually fun--especially since I found the right type for me (zumba)! It's not something I have to or should do anymore. It's something that I want to do because it makes me feel good. Eating healthy feels amazing! I love myself, therefore I take care of my body by feeding it nourishing foods and excercising. 

• The Holy Ghost is absolutely real.  Satan is very good at deception and imitation of truth and light, which I have experienced.  But he can never imitate the feelings of warmth and peace that fill my heart combined with the clarity and enlightment the Holy Ghost brings to my mind. 

• Letting go of my personal "agenda" and offering explicit trust and confidence in Him is the surest way I know to be ready to receive direct  answers from God. Specific questions receive specific answers.  And if I don't know what to ask, then the best question is :"What question wouldst Thou have me ask?"  Prayer is work (just as any form of healthy communication is).  It requires respect, honesty, and listening--sincere effort--and yields sweet and fulfilling understanding.

• Happiness comes from knowing who I am, loving who I am, and being who I am.

What's in your food storage?

I have tried to be fairly proactive about getting a year's supply of food over the past couple of years.  Although I have gleaned information from many different sources about necessities and quantities, etc., I really didn't know how long what I had would last us if it really came down to eating only what I have at home.  I ran across a helpful tool called the"Food Storage Analyzer" that is available through Emergency Essentials' blog.  It took a bit of work to "inventory" everything I have in storage (Luckily, I was able to combine the job with a deep overhaul/organization of my storage room--with the much appreciated help of my husband).

Once I had my inventory, it only took me a couple of hours (including the ever present interruptions of motherhood) to plug it all into the Food Storage Analyzer.  They have a decent selection of #10 cans and bucket items you can choose from, as well as a section where you can add regular grocery canned items.  It took some time to convert quantities (from home-canned items, etc.), but it was nice to have a place where I could tally most everything in my storage.  (They have the option of adding your own custom items as well, by entering the nutritional details).

So the way it works is by calculating how long your food storage will last for your individual family based on a prorated 2000 calorie diet based on gender and age.  It also gives information about basic nutrient content so that you can determine what your storage may or may not be lacking for a balanced diet.  You can also enter the items that you are planning on adding to your food storage to see how it adds up.

It is by no means all encompassing, but it definitely helped me have a good idea of where I stand in relation to my endgoal, and where to go from here.  If you want to try it out....

Kindness Begins With Me

We had a really fun and significant family home evening lesson this past week.  It was a complete gift of the Spirit, and has inspired significant changes in our family attitude....so of course, I cannot keep it to myself. 

Here is the overview:

We began by sitting in a family circle on the floor holding hands and briefly reviewing one of my favorite aspects of family unity that we refer to on a frequent basis:  We are a "We Team" not a "Me Team".  Then I asked everyone who ever gets angry, or frustrated to raise their hand.  So how does our anger affect others?

I had a shoe box with several "secret" items in it that I started to pull out one at a time.  The first was a frozen ice pack.  I went around the circle and touched the back of everyone's neck with it so they could feel how cold and uncomfortable it was.  This is how it feels to others when we use unkind words.  The next object was a sewing pin.  I asked Miriam to go around the circle and poke everyone with it.  She looked at me with obvious concern:  "Do I have to?"  No, but this is what it feels like when we criticize each other, or look for the wrong things the other family members are doing, instead of the right.  The pain is significantly amplified when critical words are used regularly.  The last was a lighter.  The flame sent the kids jumping backwards.  These are our words of anger, and complaint.  When once the spirit of whining is lit, it is hard to put out the fire that spreads and rages.

How does Jesus want us to treat each other?
Ephesians 4:31 & 32 (This whole chapter is excellent if you have older kids who can sit still long enought to listen and discuss).

So how do we stop the mean words from coming out?
We practice.
James 3:3 (Again a very excellent chapter-but we "hunnit" only with the verse.
We used on of the kids stick horses to illustrate the purpose of the bridle, and talked about bridling our tongues--even if it means biting back the words.

We also pointed out who puts the angry words into our heads/hearts.  And again referring to a prior fhe lesson....we "STOP" and "THINK".  And we are adding "PRACTICE".
Another key point is that we ask Jesus to take away the angry words or feelings we can't get rid of ourselves.

Then we went back to the shoe box to see how kind words feel.
First was a feather.  We had lots of smiles and giggles with this one. This is Praise and Encouragement.  It just makes you feel all tickly and happy inside.  And we combined the last two into one: a microfleece blanket and hugs.  Everyone was wrapped inside a super soft, warm, cozy blanket hug, and told something nice.  This is Love and Gratitude.

So we used "listening" and "hands on", and I wanted to add a "visual" learning tool to solidify the principle for us all.  On the white board, I wrote the negative words on one side: Anger, Criticism, Whining, Complaining, and the kind words on the other: Gratitude, Praise, Encouragement, Love.  Then everyone got to take a turn with the marker and X out the negative side and put a heart around the kind side.  It was a good outward show of our inward commitment to invite a more kind and loving spirit into our home.  I saw lots of smiles on faces as I looked aroung the circle and bore testimony of the truth of the principle of Kind Words.

*****

I don't know if any of you are like us.  Blair and I try to discuss what our family needs for a lesson the week before, but we usually end up coming up with something the day of fhe.  This time I knew what I wanted it to be about early in the week, and throughout the week, the ideas for presentation were changed and refined, until the night before (Believe me, I'm not usually thinking about FHE on Saturday night), and I think because I was thinking about it, I was given to know what the most effective way of teaching this would be.

And the ironic thing is that I began thinking about how much my children needed to hear this, and by the end of the week, I knew it was me who needed it the most.  The remarkable part is that it really has made it easier for me to see how the tone I use with my words may be affecting my children, and to stop it before it flies out of my frustrated mouth.

If you're in a pinch for a fun lesson, or you think this would benefit your family, please feel free to use this idea.  The gifts of the Spirit are given freely to all. :)

An Ode to my New Best Friend

I love to read.  

And I love to learn. 

And I love to read to learn. 

I love to be a mom. 

And I love to learn to be a better mom. 

And I love to read to learn to be a better mom.

I love my kiddos. 

And I love to teach my kiddos. 

And I love to read to teach wonderful things to my kiddos.

And I love it when my kiddos love to read....and learn.

And....you get the idea.

I want you to meet my new favorite book. 

Sean Covey.com - Inspiring Greatness in Youth

There are so many wonderful things my little family is gaining from this book that I cannot even begin to list them all.  Well okay, here are just a few:

• Having our bedtime reading teach wonderful time honored principles to my kids.
• And having that be FUN for all of us!
• Having a common vocabulary that encourages respect and understanding
• Seeing my kids step up and take initiative with things I've been hammering for years (okay maybe not that many years).
• Realizing that even my youngest kids are capable of understanding and living principles that I was "waiting" to teach until they were older.

And the 7 Happy Habits are:

• Be Proactive
• Begin with the end in Mind
• Put First things First
• Think Win-Win (Parents get to win too...who knew?)
• Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood
• Synergize (Teamwork)
• Sharpen the Saw (Balance)

The irony of the situation is that through the process of trying to teach my children, I have realized that my personal habits were not bringing happiness, or effectiveness for that matter.  So I am loving to read to learn to teach to improve and to be a HAPPY family!

This Christmas Season

For some reason, this Christmas Season has been so much more stressful than in years past.  I believe it has a lot to do with the additional desire I've had to help others (and the extra time that takes).  While I know that serving is good, my balance has been thrown off, and I am sorely missing the quiet times during the day to sit and ponder and connect with God.

Today, I was able to slow down and take some of that time, and I was amazed to see how heightened my senses were to the wonderful little things that have been surrounding me this whole month!  My children!

I was putting together a Christmas wreath for Miriam's bedroom door (because Tane and Tait had one on theirs--and all things must be equal and fair wherever possible), and my ears perked up at Tane singing a christmas song in the other room.  It happened to be the song we traditionally sing as we deliver little gifts to our neighbors and wish them Joy for the season.  This was the first time I heard his version of the popular song ( he usually sings very softly in front of people) and I couldn't help but smile....

"We wish your a Merry Christmas,
 We wish your a Merry Christmas/
 We wish your a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

"Good tithings we bring to you and your kids,
 We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!"

As cute as it was...it was even more amazing to realize that he does listen to us when we explain things like tithing, and words like kin.  It was so fun to see how his 4 1/2 year old brain translated those concepts.

One of these days, I'm hoping to post a video of another recent precious moment:  Miriam skipping back the ipod over and over and over to memorize the words to Hilary Duff's "Santa Clause Lane".  If no one is watching her, she is quite the singer, dancer.

A few more precious moments:

Overhearing Miriam sing a made up song to Colter about the reason that we give gifts to each other at Christmastime...because the wise men brought gifts to honor and show love to Jesus.

Colter's first giggle, his constant smiles, and his flapping arms and legs and mouth when he gets excited and tries so hard to communicate with me.

Tait's not-so-quiet running dialogue during sacrament meeting, about every wonderful thing that enters his two and a half year old head.  And the many friends and neighbors who love to listen and laugh.

The creative new ways Blair has found to show his love for me this past month.  His quickness to say "sorry", and his even "quickerness" to forgive my "sorries".

Absolutely not one single complaint from Miriam or Tane this week when I asked them to do their daily chores...and even getting extra mile help vacuuming and mopping floors of all things!!!

Tait's darling lisping "I luf you mommy!"

Colter sleeping through the night 2 times this past week!

A husband who cheerfully occupies the kids when I desperately need some alone time.

Tait trying to hug the ginormous picture of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane in the entryway of our chapel saying "Jesus!  I luf Him, mommy!"

All of these have happened within the past week, and most of them today!  How many other darling, wonderful things have I missed during the rest of this month, while I've been so busy "doing"....
I will not be making that mistake anymore.  I plan to spend the rest of this season absorbing the tender moments with the wonderful little miracles that Heavenly Father has given me.  And learning from their childlike awe and faith of the greatest miracle of all--the birth of a Savior, and King!

My family......and me.

Recently I have been working to reconstruct some misconceptions I've formed about myself.  It's always an interesting journey to pause, evaluate, and sometimes redirect ones path to finding self, purpose, and happiness.  Perhaps one day I will have my vision restored, if I can ever fully peel off these crackling layers, and begin to see myself as I know God does....  But just for today, I feel grateful for the layers He has helped me remove in the past year.  This may not make sense to many of you, so I hasten to add the key to my search for self-understanding: 

That he who will find himself, must lose himself to God.

I was actually only intending to post this great picture of my family (we're so lucky to have a photographer in the family now--Thanks Terral!).  And I found myself thinking about what an influence these great people have had in shaping who I am, and who I am trying to become.  I sure love you Family!

Pensive photography

Miriam's Uncle Terral is photographer.  He asked us if he could use her as a model for a school project, and this is the end-result.  I love seeing this softer side of her.  It reminds me of several of the special attributes she came to earth with--compassion, kindness, nurturing, and sensitivity to the Spirit.