I’ve never seen anything like this. This is fucking insane. The first act had me in a grip, like eyes wide, frozen in my chair, beaten by the sound and saturated in colour. Definition of awe. This doesn’t feel like the Disney of today. This is art through and through. It feels like a collective of people who haven’t been caught in the machine yet, just the freedom and passion to create. What they do with colour, light, texture and sound…

“Hello new meat, my name is Tragor.”

Jason and The Argonauts meets Mad God, but make it crusty, sleazy, no-budget, B&W, Super 8 filth. 

Tits and dicks, swords and armour, clay-mo creatures and gore, hilarious ADR, porny squeals, and a wild, weird, and loose story. The first half is exceptional and the second half deteriorates into a bunch of people clanging swords and having a generally fun fucking time.

Nothing prepared me for when Tragor opened his fucking mouth. And…

“I will strike again. There is something profound, even divine, in being able, in one second, to transform a member of the human race into inanimate matter forever.”

Was Leo sposed to be styled after Nero for Once Upon A Time in Hollywood? It’s fucking uncanny how alike they are, except for Nero’s piercing blue eyes. And that Leo’s swagger feels forced. He could never. 

In the deep pool of spaghetti slashers, this is a standard story with almost no…

“Where do we go from here? The words are coming out all weird. Where are you now when I need you?”

Finally finished my reverse order watch of the Death Walks trilogy. There technically is no Death Walks trilogy - definitely no third that shares the name and the other two stand alone to each other - but in a world where Zombi Flesh Eaters is both the first and second in a series, where Shock can be Beyond the…

“Look in the mirror, sweetheart.”

There were signs early in that this film knew what it was doing and that I was gonna love it. The first was me waiting for a gasped “I love you” and having blood spat in the face instead. The second were the squelching sound effects of the zit she squeezed. An effective tease for such a steady and considered downward spiral. 

I was grinning the way they romanticised that tapeworm egg and everything it…

“Whilst shooting an indie zombie film, real zombies attack the crew. They panic! panic! and fight! fight! against zombies. A survival story.”
“I see.”
“And there are two hot features!”
“Hot features?”
“One, live broadcasting.”
“Real time?”
“It’ll go on the air at 1pm for 30 minutes.”
“Two, the hotter feature, which is…”
“Yes?”
“One take.”
“One take? You mean…”
“With one camera. One take, no cuts. With one camera from start to finish.”
“Making a zombie film… on a…