Seminary lessons

I need to start recording some of my favorite seminary lessons. I have loved teaching seminary so much. For anyone to balks at the time, I can reassure you that you receive 10x more than you give with this calling.

Last month, we taught about the Passover and the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. Some things I learned:

--the Lord directed them to perform a very specific animal sacrifice, followed by a very specific ordered dinner at a time of mass chaos. There are plagues everywhere and the threat of all the oldest males in each family dying THE NEXT DAY. But yet they were commanded to do this, and their male children would be saved. It must have been so confusing to them. How could having a dinner and painting my door with lambs blood keep my family safe? You can't even logically equate the two. But Jehovah commanded them and promised they would be safe and those that did it, WERE saved, and those who didn't weren't. Sometimes commandments make no sense, but our ways are not God's ways and obedience will always bring safety and happiness even when we don't understand. Even in the most chaotic and adversity stricken times in our lives, it's important that we follow the commandment to have no other priorities above God, and that we do everything we can to follow Him.

-the Lord directed the Israelites to the Red Sea. He directed them in a cloud by day, and a pillar by night. He could have lead them a different way out of Egypt, but He didn't. He lead them to where they needed to exercise faith.


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Quotes

It's not uncommon for Duke to crawl in our bed at some point during the night. We are so used to this that it doesn't even wake us up anymore. A few days ago, he came in our bed around 6:30 am, when I would be waking up anyway. He crawled in and then a few minutes later whispered, "mom, I don't know if there is enough room. Maybe you should sleep on the floor."

Will gets to stay after school with his teacher two days a week for tutoring. Yesterday, I went to pick him up and we helped his teacher decorate her room for the holidays. Duke was asking Will about tutoring. Will said, "Tutoring is fun! We get to do math and reading!" And then Duke asked in the most sincere voice possible, "do you toot at tutoring?" It made me laugh to think about what Duke probably thought tutoring was.

Duke fell asleep after preschool and I put him in the car because we needed to go pick up Will. Will was a jerk and punched him in the gut to wake him up (brothers are so mean) and Duke was unhappy for the next 30 min. In an effort to calm him, Matt started singing a song for him. He sang "in the darkness" which is a super annoying top 40 song. But Matt sang it with the reverence and sincerity of if he were singing a lullaby.




Duke says he's all ready for school!



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Sad

I'm been melancholy for the past few days. Something stirring in my soul, but not ready to come out yet. Not a weepy tone, but one of feeling distant from the life right in front of me.

Duke asked if we could color together. Of course, I said. I sat down and he handed me an orange crayon and I colored a pumpkin and then got up to make myself some lunch. One of the side effects of my mood is not eating. I was weak and starving.

I came back to the table to find this.





Duke drew his ninja and then morphed my pumpkin into a ninja too. It seemed so metaphorical, I almost burst into tears. But actually the tears have only come now as I write this. I represented myself as a pumpkin, an outsider, perhaps. And Duke made clear I was part of his team. HIS team. Even melancholy, I was still welcome on his team.

At another point today, my barely two year old Matt asked, "Mom are you sad? Are you crying?" He's two! And no, I wasn't sad or crying, but I guess he could just tell that my heart and mind were heavy. Kids are so in tune, it's insane.

I'm going to take my sparkling water upstairs and cuddle with my boys on the couch and watch cartoons. Forget homework. This is the only thing I feel like doing this afternoon.


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Happy Birthday Matt!

* I wrote this on Matt's 2nd birthday but I guess I forgot to post it. Oh well.

Matt is literally oozing with personality. He frequently answers questions in a growling voice. He is by far our most verbal child at this age and I think he can pretty much communicate/understand anything and everything. Lately he's been saying "love it!" And it's adorable. Things like, "Sun! Love it!", "Love it boots!", "love it fish!" and so on. I also yell "where's Matt?" Because he gets lost in the shuffle at our house and he always comes running out and says, "I here!!"

Matt's love for his brothers is palpable. I have never seen him have any food and not take it over and offer some to Will and Duke. He is so giving to them! And when we pick up Duke from school, Matt runs over and squeals and gives him a big hug. He asks constantly when Duke is coming home when he is at school. I'm so glad he and Duke have had this year together--they've gotten so close. And I'm already making plans for next school year when Matt will be so sad that both of his brothers are in school all day long.

He gives very loud and enthusiastic greetings and goodbyes. Every place we leave, school, the allergist, church, Matt give a loud and hearty "Bye bye!" with a big hand/arm wave. Equally enjoyable is when anyone comes in our door, especially Dad, and he rushes over to say "Hi!" about 10x with corresponding arm/hand wave.

He will sit and read books for 20 min by himself. This is unprecedented in our family as none of the other boys enjoy reading--even now. Matt definitely has a strong mind and he's grasping stuff so fast.

There's a small portion of me that is sad that the baby stage is over, but like I said, it's small. Matt and I were on bad terms from 15-22 mos. He was into everything and it was just so hard to do anything because I literally couldn't leave him alone ever without something breaking. We have NO mason jars anymore because of Matt. They have all shattered after a period of a few months even though they were high out of reach.

Sometimes he dances when we offer him pizza for dinner. He's the best.












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Quotes

Sometimes we call Duke, "Planet Duke", because he is so his own element. He's so right brained and he just thinks so differently than I do. I'm way to literal. I wish I could live in a much more whimsical world like him. He's been saying some pretty epic things lately. I am going to try to keep up a better log of just things the boys say because they are saying funny stuff everyday.

Duke:

"My spirit is the wind" -it should be mentioned that this was preceded and followed by silence. He had obviously been pondering this one for a while. It should also probably be mentioned that he was decked out in lots of ninja paraphernalia at this moment.

"Hey Will, do you ever have dreams that your friends are fighting you?"

Will:

"When I grow up and get married, I'm going to Kay Jewelers" -This was said after watching a Jared Jewelers commercial.

Matt:

I was putting lotion on Matt's face because its been getting cold and dry here. He squirmed and yelled, "Not on the face!"





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Headache

I woke up with an awful headache and I just can't seem to get rid of it. Add to that the horrendous meltdown Will has everyday when he comes home from school about getting his homework done, and how the house goes from semi-orderly to crap in 5 minutes, and I'm pretty much toast right now. Cort took pity on me and took the boys out to play after dinner so I could chill, and now I'm using that time to write this.

I swear my life goes into mock speed from the time Will gets home from school until bedtime. Like I'm in my own time lapse video. No matter how much prep I do during the day, nothing can stop it from happening. But I guess that's my reality and as long as I keep a positive attitude about it, things are fine.

I'm going to get back to the Food Network now, but this has been on my mind a lot:





Faith is a verb. A physical act. We have to work to gain knowledge. No great thinker gained their knowledge by just sitting there and hoping for the best. They desired and craved more--seek and ye shall find.

Mustard to stay

I have been brainstorming decor in Duke's room for over a year, but gosh darnit, no time to execute it. I have paint colors picked out, and quilt patterns I need to make. It occurred to me sometime last week that it will likely be 6+ months before I can make those quilts and they'll probably cost as much to make as to buy some.

Like these mustard quilts from Target on clearance for $20. I didn't love them, but I loved the price and thought it was worth a shot to just see how they looked in his room. Brought it home, spread it on the bed and immediately decided it wasn't the right fit. Then I went to pick up Duke from school and he came home and saw it (I meant to package it back up to return to the store) and said, "Mom, I love this!!!" and laid down on his bed. Trying to sway him, I showed him other options I was thinking of on the iPad and he stayed firm that he loved the yellow best. So I guess we're keeping it then!

It was a good lesson for me that it's really not what I want that matters in this situation. What matters is that Duke has a bedroom he's really proud of and loves to be in. We will be going to hobby lobby on Saturday to pick out fabric for the curtains together. Can't wait to see what he picks out. I do have to admit, it does look so cheery and bright when I pass it in the hallway.

No matter where this rooms goes from here, I'm pretty sure I'm still painting it the same color because it took me forever to find a great color for the lighting in this room. But it's neutral/light enough, it will probably work. Sea Salt by Sherwin Williams--a light green/blue. And it's not one of the swatches painted on the wall in the picture. It's painted in another wall next to 5 other swatches...why I'm not going through the color selecting process again.


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Letters to Will

Every Friday, Will writes a letter to us to tell us what he learned that week in 2nd grade. Over the weekend, we have the chance to write him back a message he can read Monday morning at school. At the end of the year, our letters will be bound in a book to keep.

I think of these letters to Will as the Monday pep talk. Lots of "you're so smart!" "You can do this!" and "you are so kind and I'm proud of you." He probably doesn't think of them as anything except something to quickly read in class before his ADD takes him on to something else, but man I hope he gets a little warm fuzzy when he reads them, even just for a millisecond, before the rest of the week does its best to tear him apart.

Wouldn't you love to have a Monday pep talk from your parents? Even as adults? I know I would. I recently emailed my parents about a business idea I had and my dad called the next day and said, "Hi Amy, I just read your email and you're going to be so great at this!" I know it's so simple, but small assurances mean so much.

I mostly want Will to remember that 1) he always has a safe place in our home and family. 2) I care so much more that he's a kind person than a smart student. Because let me tell you, I know a lot of smart d-bags. And kind people always make it far in life, and they live happier lives.




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Sick

I took a long nap and still felt crappy. Then I drank a diet coke and ate two cupcakes (usually always gives me at least a small boost), and no difference, just still "flu-like". I had an hour before I had to pick up Will from school and decided if I didn't go to the urgent care now, I wouldn't be able to go until Friday (tomorrow is packed). I went and luckily there was no one in the waiting room (what?) and 30 min later I had an rx for antibiotics and steroids for sinus infection and allergies. I got a sub for seminary so I could sleep a little longer and hopefully kick this thing to the curb. But I'm actually so sad I won't be at Seminary tomorrow. So sad. Like I almost just want to go anyway, but I know it would be better for my body to rest more. The lesson is on Moses 5:1-11. Consequences of the Fall--one of my fav topics. But yay for modern medicine and drive thru pharmacies, even if I had to go through the pharmacy twice with 3 angry kids in the back and they watched TV all afternoon. Who cares.

I called Dad to ask him his opinion if I should go to the urgent care or not (he said yes), and he has been texting me every two hours since to ask how I'm feeling. It's so sweet. Until I realized that my dad had a 9 hour back surgery less than a week ago and HE'S the one asking how I'M doing. I'm such a schmuck.

Tomorrow

We have a big day tomorrow, so I'm taking a few minutes tonight to write a few things about the big stuff that has happened/happening.

We spent 3 weeks in CA at Mom and Dad's and it was great. The last 9 days, Cort wasn't with us and it honestly almost killed me I missed him so much (better than not missing him though, right?) but the boys live for this vacation every year. Every time we say goodbye to cousins, all the cousins cry and it's so tender. They become little bffs every summer and then they realize they have to be apart for another year. It's heartwarming/heart wrenching. I love my nieces and nephews more and more every year--such fun kids! I wish we could see them more often, but I'm glad that when we do see each other, we get a lot of quality time together.

We used the last week of the summer to do last-minute fun things...thinkery, aquarium, ikea, bass pro shop, bowling, slash pad, safari champs. All of it culminating to tonight...school starts tomorrow!

Will is in 2nd grade with Mrs Marcotte. His two buddies from church, Ruby and Meara, are in his class so that should be really fun. He said the sweetest prayer tonight. He prayed that he would have a good school year with his old friends, and that he would have fun also making new friends. He also prayed for Matt to have good naps and no bad dreams. My most tender kid, that Will James.




Duke is still sporting his ninja headband wherever he goes. Coupled with his light up Ninja Turtle shoes and he's usually a pretty happy camper. Tonight, Cortney gave blessings to all the boys at the start of a new school year. After Cort finished blessing Duke, I asked Duke how he felt and he said, "I feel pretty good, Mom!" At the park the other day, I asked him if he wanted to swing and he said no because his legs were all out of "pumps".


Matt stopped destroying everything so much, and seiches gears into wanting to be a part of everything happening in the kitchen. He can push a chair over to climb anywhere he wants which is impressive/frustrating. He hasn't gotten burned yet, so that's a plus. He is really his own person now and LOVES books. And really, just doing anything his brothers are doing.




Tomorrow, I also start teaching seminary at 5:45 am. It will be challenging at times, but oh so good. I've already had so many great experiences, and I haven't even started teaching yet. Blessings.


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Sink or Swim

Will and Duke finished swim team a couple weeks ago. It was such a great season of growing for them. They both blew me away with their determination and drive. This was the first season where both boys competed.

Every race they were in, I couldn't hold back a few tears from welling up in my eyes. I know of no better analogy of parenting than watching my five and seven year olds give every ounce of energy to swim across the pool.

They usually have butterflies before the race and I try to go over to their waiting area and give them a pep talk and encourage them with a bunch of "you already know what to do--you just have to do it!" and "you've been practicing so hard for this and you'll do awesome!"

When it comes time for them to step up on the blocks, they timidly climb up, put their goggles on and wait for the buzzer. It goes off and I cheer for them as loud as I possibly can. Most of their races are 25 meters (1 length of the pool) which can seem like a short distance, but for Duke's age group it can be a real struggle. Will they make it? And if they do, will they die from exhaustion after completion? The parenting allegory for me is found here. I can see them pushing themselves and struggling to do something that is so challenging, but all I can do is cheer for them from the side of the pool. If i jumped in to help them, they would never improve. I keep cheering loudly for them in hopes they will remember that I'll be with them the second they finish the race.

They finish the race and I wrap them up in a towel and squeeze them and tell them how great they did and how proud of them I am. It really is a special moment for both of us.


Will doing backstroke. He was the heat winner in a few relays and really excelled in butterfly (surprisingly).



Look at that proud smile! He's on top of the world after his race!



The last day when they got their medals. Duke progressed so much this year and he has a super powerful freestyle stroke. Really, it's sort of incredible for a five year old. I can't wait for next season. All sort of new challenges and triumphs await us.

Matt

I have done a horrible job writing about Matt lately (or for the last year). I need to do better!

Matt is, by far, our most verbal child at this age. Being used to Will and Duke being late talkers, it's really weird to me that Matt picks up 3-4 words a day at 20 mos. I keep wondering if he's some sort of prodigy, but he's likely just perfectly normal.

I'm positive one of Matt's God-given gifts is his love for his family. It's palatable. The love he has for his older brothers is so deep and sincere. They are his world. He recently started saying their names (he calls Duke "Do") and whenever we are in a store and they aren't staying by the stroller, where Matt is, he starts saying their names in a "come on. Stay with the group" annoyed way. It's really cute/funny.

Matt also mistakes his age and abilities for his brothers' ages and abilities. He cheats death almost every day. I pray for angels to be with him and protect him every day. Somedays his suicide attempts and energy level is just more than I can take and by 5 pm, I throw him in the stroller and go for a walk to just calm him down, before I completely lose it.

Matt has been in the nursery at church for 2 mos. It's amazing to me how fast he has caught on to the whole routine of the system. I get to be with him because I'm one of the nursery leaders and that has been special. Normally I wouldn't be so excited with that responsibility, but because he's my last, I'm just thankful I get to be with him at this younger stage.

Matt leans more towards Will with his energy levels. He's very "motor driven" and I think he'll be an athlete of some kind. We frequently play basketball at the church and Matt always wants to shoot hoops too. He also has better than average foot coordination, so maybe he'll like soccer.

He's still a great sleeper. He's still so happy and smiley. Oh, and he loves Cort. Every day when Cort gets home, he runs to Cort and says "Hi Daaa!" Sometimes he waits and looks out the front window for him to come home.

Matt frequently waves at almost anyone he passes. He can be quite the flirt. When we go to swim practice for the older boys, he walks around the pool to where they are and claps for them. It's adorable.

He is obsessed with shoes. He puts on other people's shoes all the time and whenever we mention that we're leaving to go somewhere, he gets his shoes and shoes for everyone else in the family. By far, the cutest word he says is flip flop, which sounds like whop whop.

Some words he says: phone, juice, cheese, hand, feet, roll, donut, drink, pee, milk, shower, towel, teeth, bath, shoes, nose.




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Sick day

This has been the worst year of health for my kids, ever. I feel like we get over something and less than a month later, we're onto a new something. Saturday night, Duke and Matt came down with the flu. Sunday night, Will and I got it.

Monday, I felt queasy and no appetite, but I knew I was over the worst of it, and I think the boys were both in a similar state. We went to the little store and each chose our own Gatorade and snacks and came home and watched TV all day. It was glorious. Usually that would make me so stir crazy, but for a day when we all felt weak to just shut out the world, stay in our pjs, and not expect anything of ourselves, it was perfection. Really, just what we all needed. Even if it took a stomach flu coming through our house to do it, there are so many worse things than watching TV with your boys and drinking Gatorade all day long. I went to bed feeling that it was a day well spent.


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Faith

I was asked to speak in church last Sunday. Usually I don't write out everything I'm going to say, just a few notes and that works well. But I decided that I needed to start writing more things down like this because maybe in 30-40 years, my kids will be thankful I recorded this kind of stuff.






As a child, I attended primary and was taught that my faith was like a tiny mustard seed that had great potential. Sometimes, like in the fourth article of faith, it appeared to me to be a step on the way to bigger things, like baptism and confirmation. It wasn’t until I was much older that faith turned from a noun to a verb in my mind. Faith became the very fabric of all spirituality, and I decided a lifelong quest was needed to deepen that faith.



I used to believe that faith was a deep knowledge. It certainly can lead to that, but luckily for our imperfect selves Alma reminds us that no perfect knowledge is required, only a hope and belief in things we cannot see but are true. In our pre-Earth life, we had the knowledge of what was coming. We had experienced a great battle over wills and ideas and came to earth accepting known challenges. After we die, we will again have the veil lifted from our minds and again know of what’s to come, on top of what has already passed, even before our earthly life. But right now, on this earth, is the only time in all of the eternities that our spirits have and will have existed that we do not have a perfect knowledge of things. This life is the only portion of the Plan of Salvation, where we are invited to traverse darkness and insecurity, living by faith, initiating great growth for our spirits.



Elder Robert D Hales teaches: First, we start with the intelligence with which we were born. To our intelligence we add knowledge as we search for answers, study, and educate ourselves. To our knowledge we add experience, which should lead us to a level of wisdom. In addition to our wisdom, we add the help of the Holy Ghost through our prayers of faith, asking for spiritual guidance and strength. Then, and only then, do we reach an understanding in our hearts—which motivates us to “do what is right; let the consequence follow.” (Hymns, 1985, no. 237.) The feelings of an understanding heart give us the sweet spirit of assurance of not only knowing but doing what is right no matter what the circumstances. The understanding in our hearts comes from a close interdependence of study and prayer.


The bible dictionary explains that faith comes by righteousness and obedience, and it a principle of action and power. The Savior promised that if we are obedient to His teachings, we would know His doctrine. Just having the faith to “do”, can be enough to initiate or deepen conversion. Most importantly, it is by faith that one obtains a remission of sins and eventually can stand in the presence of God. Faith must be based on correct knowledge or it cannot produce desired results. True faith always moves its possessor to some kind of physical and mental action.



If having faith is so essential to so many good things, why does it seem like such a struggle to maintain and grow? At times in my life, I have felt casual with my faith or busy with life and whether intentional or not, relaxed in my spiritual quest, and have reaped the consequences of what I sowed—weakened and lukewarm faith, and a lack of zeal in life. As I look back on these times, there is no one to blame but myself for this atrophy. I was frustrated by attending church because I came away feeling I had gotten nothing out of it. I wasn’t putting the time and effort into my faith that I needed to maintain or even grow. Those who come to church looking to be spiritually spoonfed, will always come away disappointed. Seeking faith is an everyday endeavor, not just a weekend event.



As none of us have a perfect knowledge and we all fall short of the glory of God, it is a farce to believe that we are only true disciples if we know everything about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know very little of calculus or mechanical engineering, but that in no way discredits the simple arithmetic I use every day to run our family’s budget. It just represents more math I have yet to seek, learn, and understand. Thus it is with our faith. As Elder Anderson says, “We don’t know everything, but we know enough.” to keep going on our path to conversion.



As the pioneers migrated across the western United States, they did not have a perfect knowledge of the Gospel and many other doctrines had not been revealed yet, but they had faith that there was an actual apostasy and a need for a restoration. Just faith in those principles and an effort to deepen that faith was enough to carry them across the plains and to help them adapt when adversity came their way.

I knew and trusted many people who testified to me the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I always had faith in the Book of Mormon and felt it was true and important that I should read it regularly. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties, after a decade of reading the Book of Mormon in obedience that I experienced the power of that book. It changed my life, because it changed my faith. I held to what I knew, and the rest has come and is still coming.



Be patient. Strong faith takes time.



Samuel the Lamanite prophesied the signs of the birth of Jesus Christ. As years past and many of those signs were not brought to pass, many lost faith and even persecuted those for believing the signs would still come. One night it was decided that all the believers would be killed if the signs did not appear. These years of waiting must have been filled with deliberate studying and praying to keep their faith burning bright amidst intense opposition. On the day of the proposed massacre, Nephi prayed all day pleading with the Lord about what to do to save his people. After that faithful supplication, the Lord told Nephi, “Lift up your head and be of good cheer, for behold the time is at hand and on this night the sign will be given. The believers waited. They continually sought the Lord, and they clung to the faith they had until more came.



My favorite story in the bible is just ten verses long, but I come back to it again and again on my quest of faith. Simeon was a very faithful man. Earlier in his life, the Holy Ghost revealed to him that he would see the Christ before his death. We don’t know how long he waited for this, but we can assume it was years, maybe even a majority of his life. How would he know who Jesus was? Was he expecting him to be a grown man? Where would he be? Would seeing Jesus Christ take him on long travels? These might have been questions Simeon asked himself and God in the years following this revelation. Surely for Simeon seeking the Lord was a daily effort, not just something he did when he had time.



Simeon’s faith and his reliance on the Holy Ghost led him to the doors of the temple as Joseph and Mary brought the baby Jesus to make an offering of two turtledoves. Through his tested and patient faith and the power of the Spirit, he was able to identify the Savior of the world, an unlikely infant, and even hold in his arms, the Christ child. Simeon never became stagnant in his faith, even when he waited years, but remained faithful, until he would be able to see what he had been promised.

The scriptures prove to me that Christ comes to those who sincerely seek Him. He always comes. I know this because every time I have earnestly sought The Lord, He has made His presence known in my life. My journey of deepening my simple faith will continue on, as will yours until hopefully we return to our God, who will declare "Well done thou good and faithful servant."

I testify of these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Sweet Surprises

Today I taught the boys how to cut paper snowflakes. It lasted about 5 minutes before they used the paper and scissors to make whatever they wanted. Duke eventually asked me for a glue stick and a short time after that, he produced these gems.





He called them "sweet surprises" and he was as pure as the driven snow as he said it. He said the sweet surprises were for girls and he eventually bagged them up in individual baggies with a lifesaver inside. A sweet surprise, indeed. He delivered a bulk of them to our good friend Meara.

Duke is so good. He's just so pure in all of his intentions. I envy the girl he marries because she will be treasured. Duke is going to be the suave romantic and I fear girls will be all over him.

I laughed all day about the sweet surprises. May we all have such a simple token of affection.