Restoring Circles

So earlier this week, The Corner was selected as a Top Counseling Blog of 2017 by Online Counseling Programs. I'm so grateful for their kind affirmation:

Being a blogger is such a gift to me because I get to share what's going on in my corner while I collaborate with passionate caregivers around the world. One of those is school psychologist Julie Gordon-Buccitti. You might remember her guest post about Bucket Filling; well, today she's back to share about her school's experience using Restorative Practices. Welcome Julie! 

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Hello from Momauguin Elementary School in East Haven, CT.  We are a grade K-5 school that has just completed our first year with our “new team” after a consolidation of schools within our district. Our school, which was previously a grade 3-5 school, acquired three new grade levels this year (K-2) along with new students, new staff, and new administration. With all of these changes that took place, we had much work ahead of us to establish and build positivity within our brand-new school community.

Earlier this year, our principal, several staff members and I were given the opportunity to attend a two-day workshop on Restorative Practices, one of the most helpful and informative workshops I have been to in some time. Right away, we returned to school and began implementing some of the techniques we had learned. We were so pleased with the responses from our students, and with the results we were seeing! At the workshop, we learned that Restorative Practices is a process that needs to be introduced one step at a time. This way, we can better achieve buy-in within the community and not overwhelm students or staff.

  

We also learned how to conduct Restorative Circles. In a Restorative Circle, all stakeholders involved or affected by a given situation gather and work together to repair the harm that had occurred and restore relationships. Using a series of carefully thought-out and non-threatening questions is key to conducting these practices. One of the most important things we learned in our workshop was to refrain from beginning a circle by asking, “Why did you do that?” Not only are we unlikely to get a definitive answer by using this type of question, but it also starts the circle on a defensive or even accusatory note. Instead, we used these types of questions from the International Institute for Restorative Practices (IIRP). 

Click image for source.

We began by using Restorative Circles to address student conflicts. It was wonderful to see how the students responded once they were informed that our discussion wasn’t so much about “being in trouble” but rather looking for ways to work with them to repair the harm that had been done and move forward in a positive manner.  The focus was removed from being punitive and turned toward being restorative. Students then felt more comfortable and became very honest in their responses. They gained greater understanding of how their actions impacted others. Not only did these techniques help us to solve problems and decrease the chances of them reoccurring, but they also taught our students coping skills, listening skills, and empathy. Using Restorative Practices has helped our students learn to conduct better conversational exchanges, and it has given them an avenue in which to be heard and feel supported by peers and adults alike.

Having opportunities to listen to peers or adults express their feelings about how they felt as a result of others’ actions was a new experience and an eye-opener for many of our students. Not only was it helpful for those with hurt feelings to be heard, but it was also helpful for those who did the hurting to hear how their actions made others feel. This gave students an opportunity to think about and reflect upon their actions. It was also helpful for students to be able to share that it wasn’t their intention to hurt someone’s feelings and to have an opportunity to express remorse to the person whose feelings they had hurt. This was beneficial for all sides of any given situation.

  

We found that the more we used these techniques, the more we noticed that we weren’t seeing the same students returning with the same issues or concerns repeatedly. Through use of these practices, we have been able to observe teaching, learning, problem-solving, and increased understanding and empathy toward others. It has been a rewarding experience for children and adults involved, and it has helped us to build positivity within our school community!  

The students have responded so well to these techniques, that they have even requested Restorative Circles when challenging situations have arisen.

Moving forward and planning for next year, our amazing principal, Diane MacKinnon, has suggested expanding on our initiatives by incorporating a Restorative Circle time into our schedule for the upcoming school year. Our entire school will be starting each day with Restorative Circles, first thing every morning. We also decided as a staff that we would like to have all of the specials teachers and support staff go into different classrooms daily. This way, there would be opportunities for the non-classroom teachers to participate in circles in all of the classrooms over the course of the school year. 

I can’t wait to see how the students and staff will enjoy using these techniques, the sharing that will take place, and the building of connections and relationships. With positive relationships and connections in place with children, peers, and adults, our students will be ready to start their school day in a positive and supportive way and, in turn, will be better able to access academic instruction.  It truly is a win-win for all! 

If you would like to learn more about Restorative Practices, you can go to Facebook and like IIRP’s page here.  

You can also visit the IIRP website here.

To read more about Restorative Practices, check out these two excellent books from IIRP. Click on each book for more information. 

Thank you, Julie. 

We are looking into adopting Restorative Practices as well, so I have started reading these and am really enjoying them. Interestingly enough, when I was a teenager, the younger brother of one of my friends gave me a black eye and instead of press charges to punish him, my father invited him to remedy what he'd done by working alongside of us on the family farm, so restorative practices were actually modeled during my upbringing. I can't wait to unleash the power of the circle on our campus. Need more Restorative Practices resources?

Schools See Improved Climate With Restorative Practices

We Must Pair Raise The Age With Restorative Justice

Teaching Restorative Practices In The Classroom

Using Dialogue Circles To Support Classroom Management 

Restorative Justice: Resources For Schools

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Positively Incentivizing

Today I'm thinking about effectively incentivizing positive choices.

Click the graphic below to read my guest post for Free Spirit.

In the post, I suggest giving students the option to earn Brag Tags, Badges, and Experiences. Shortly after that post went live, I saw this creative idea on Facebook.

It was put in the yard of an unsuspecting student of one of the teachers, Christina Hogue, at our sister school. Isn't that a fun way to incentivize good character? Would it work in your district? If not, how would you tweak it? What could you do for a child in an apartment or condo, who might not have a yard? How might you change it if your school's parents didn't want you to share quite as much info?

And just yesterday, I read this post about rethinking those Clip Chart systems. I've always thought that if we were going to use a clip system, maybe it could be more of a Character Clip, using a visual like this. 

Here's how it could work.

Let's all start on caring in our community of caring. Then, throughout the day, as students are caught showing good character, we could say, "Bailey, thank you for making such good choices. What spot on the wheel do you think you could move your clip to?" Think about how empowering it would be for this child to go and move her clip to the pillar whose power she was positively sharing. Students could also be on the lookout for positivity they see one another giving: "I just saw Jimmy taking turns and sharing. Maybe he could move his clip to fairness?" 

 If there's a misstep, it could be handled privately

and the student could set a goal for how he or she will turn

that behavior around to get back on track and self-regulating

as they travel down the Character Road.

Energy flows where attention goes, that's for sure.

What are some of the creative ways in which you incentivize 

to shape those desired positive behaviors?

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Master Classroom Management

Today I'm excited because I've got three whole days {without too much planned} that I can spend digesting the treasures in this book I've been reading.

From the publisher: Dr. Jerry Evanski’s approach stems from a simple and practical idea: that classroom management is based on teaching methods that keep your students interested and engaged, not on disciplining students when they misbehave. As he says, “Poor teaching strategies can trigger behavior problems. You can prevent problems before they occur.”

Based on significant review of educational research that is sprinkled throughout the book, Dr. Evanski has developed a program that offers one simple skill a day to build a repertoire of classroom management techniques. After eight weeks, teachers have mastered 40 new skills that cover the key teaching areas of:

-       Getting attention

-       Keeping attention

-       Engaging students

-       Teaching the lesson

-       Getting participation

-       Giving directions

-       Communicating

-       Transitioning

Here is a sample of some of the skills covered in the book:

-       Your Teaching Spot - Teach students to associate specific locations in your classroom with different messages—one spot for teaching, one spot for announcements, etc.

-       The Big Picture – Help students establish the context for what you’re teaching by showing them how it fits into what they are learning throughout the year.

-       Acknowledge the Effort – Encourage participation by teaching students how to enthusiastically acknowledge the effort of their classmates.

Why I'm loving this resource: The first thing that draws me to this book is that Dr. Evanski's ideas, many of which are backed by brain research, 

exude engagement, motivation and fun. I have a feeling that educators like me will learn and grow by leaps and bounds as they tailor these tips to fit the needs of the students in their classroom families. 

The second sticking point is how the book is set up, with an idea to test-drive every day of the week for eight weeks, to facilitate learning and implementation. 

The third-and-equally-important reason I'm endorsing Dr. Evanski's work is that it's a tool that supports my firm belief in disciplining through proactive modeling, teaching and practicing of skills rather than with a reactive punishing of skill deficits. Isn't that what our students deserve from us? And isn't that how we hope they'll lead when they're in charge? 

Check out this book; I predict it'll be a positive influence and support as you work with intention to create a culture of dignity, caring and respect in your 

character building.

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PPBF: One Gorilla

I had a super night last night as a delivery penguin

for our fundraiser with Papa John's Pizza and our PTO.

It's a toss up whether I had more fun dancing with my deliveries

or carrying our character message out into the community!

This 2nd grader's pizza page perfectly parallels today's PPBF:

A good deed here, a small kindness there

may be all that it takes.

Title: One Gorilla

Author: Joy Dey

Illustrator: Nikki Johnson

Publisher: SWAK (SitWithAKid)

Date: September 30, 2014

Suitable for: K-3rd

Fiction

Themes: behavior, kindness, self-control

Brief synopsis: The jungle is a wild and crazy, dangerous place to be. Will the Gorilla be the one to change all that?
Opening pages: It's a jungle out there! Prowling, savage, tooth and claw, the jungle crouches and glares.

Resources: 

*Read Heidi's review at Blue Star Visions {here}.
*SWAK book site for free activity download links {here}.
*Make a list of onomatopoeia words.
*Find examples of personification.
*Look for the 21 colored words hidden in the text and have learners find the words in the One Gorilla Word Search.

*Make a list as words are found; note how the words change from negative to positive as the story progresses.

*Have students research synonyms and antonyms for each word.

*Find and re-read this turning-point page:

Discuss what it means to Be The Gorilla.

Why I like this book: I'm usually more about the story line than the illustrations, but I am reeled in, hook, line and sinker by the total package in this one tropical treasure. The eye-catching watercolors that bring to life a mean and hostile jungle complement the text and soften and change with the one decision by one gorilla to be the difference and turn chaos into compassion. 

Every day, we have a choice to be kind or unkind.
So it is in the jungle.
There's taunting and teasing and trouble.
Lots of trouble.
And there laughing at, not with,
in this hard-knocks jungle.
When the gorilla comes along, he gets to choose
whether to leave the upside-down turtle to fend for himself
or befriend him and bring compassion to his community.

Besides the activities suggested above, I could see asking students to draw parallels between what they see in the book's jungle and what they experience in their everyday lives. Maybe they know a leopard, a parrot, an anteater, an ape. Who is the Gorilla in their jungle? Is it easy or hard to be the Gorilla? Ask what it took to soften those harsh, savage behaviors. Encourage them to talk about a kindness that they've shared when things seemed wild and out of control.

Finally, the publisher is SWAK - Sit With A Kid.
When I saw SWAK, I immediately thought it might mean
Sealed With A Kindness.
What creative names could students come up with if they were going to market a product having to do with kindness? Or what slogan or motto would they use to campaign for kindness?

What a wonderful way to wrap up Character Counts! Week.
How will you keep our character message alive
once our week-long celebration comes to a close?

For more PPBF picks, visit Susanna Leonard Hill's blog.

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PBBF: Cyber Friend?

Today I'm delighted because  for PPBF,
I get to introduce you to not only a book, 
but also to the Girl Power series and its author

Title: Cyber Friend?

Author: Erainna Winnet

Illustrator: Joyeeta Neogi

Publisher: Self-published

Date: February 17, 2014

Suitable for ages: 8-12

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Themes: friendship, kindness, behavior

Brief synopsis: Olivia and Grace's friendship is put to the test when a real-life conflict takes wing online and out into cyberspace.

Opening page:  Olivia and Grace finished tying their shoes and gathered their gymbags. "Do you still want to come to my house Friday after school?" Olivia asked. "Sure, we can make it a movie night," Grace said excitedly. She started walking but suddenly stumbled. Her left foot tangled around her right foot, and she toppled to the hard concrete floor with an "Oomph!"

Related resources:

*Watch the Cyber Friend? trailer {here}.

*Ask students to list buddy and bullying behaviors. 

*Make a T chart. 

This is what bullying looks like in elementary school ...

but when you put a device at their fingertips, it changes to this:

*Use this clip to talk with your children about the importance of cyber-kindness online, because what you post today leaves a digital footprint 
that can last a lifetime.

*Download your supplemental free activity sheets from TpT {here}.

Why I like this book: This book {and the other three in Girl Power series} is like a social story that jumped off of the pages at me because of its authenticity. Written by a school counselor in the trenches, it's got real-life woven into its very DNA. This could totally happen ... and has ... in a school near you. The enrichment activities in the back of each book are top-notch, another reason that I am so eager to incorporate these treasures into my small group feelings classes! As a bonus, I was able to chat with this counselor recently about her journey from counselor to author and here's what she had to say:

First, I’d like to thank Barbara for inviting me to share a little about myself and my voyage into becoming a children’s book author. 

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I’m a wife, mother, educator, school counselor, and children’s book author. I’m moved by kindness, compelled by compassion, and believe in the power of forgiveness.

Why did you start writing books?

When I first became a school counselor, I fell in love with bibliotherapy.  However, I found that many of the issues my students were facing didn’t have a book readily available that could address their needs. After searching in vain and after many, many sleepless nights, I decided to write my own books.

How many books have you written?

It has been four years since I began writing and publishing my stories and what a roller coaster ride it has been. I’ve rewritten each story so many times that I’ve lost count. My first book, Mrs.Joyce Gives the Best High-Fives, was illustrated four times. That book is extra-special to me because the title character is named after my mother who passed away the summer before I became a counselor. So, I wanted it to be PERFECT! At this time, I have thirteen picture books, twelve workbooks, three counselor resource books, and two self-help books for tweens.

How did you come up with the story ideas for your Girl Power Series?

Most of my story ideas come from the students I work with each day. I work at an elementary campus grades K-5 and it seemed the upper elementary grade girls were always in an uproar. I was meeting with small groups almost weekly. I knew there had to be a better way to reach them, so I turned to bibliotherapy, and penned the Girl Power: Believe in Yourself Series.

My favorite story in the series is It’s Good to Be Me which was inspired by my oldest daughter. Her birthday is January 1 and she came up with the idea of decorating a box and writing down all the good things that happen to her during the year, then on her next birthday she’d take them out to remind herself of the great year she had. How Fun! In fact, this year I’ll read this story with each class and every person will create their own ‘It’s Good to Be Me’ box. I can’t wait!

What’s next for you?

I’m currently working on an eBook series for tween girls called Tween Life. I’m hoping it will be ready early spring 2015.

Thank you again, Barbara, for sharing my story. You can view all my books, including book trailers for the picture books, as well as ordering information, at Counseling With Heart.

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Doesn't she sound amazing? And did you read that last part? Erainna has generously offered to give away a set of her Girl Power books to one of you, my treasured readers! We will put the name of anyone who comments between now and Monday, September 22, into a hat and let the Gruener Generator (also known as Joshua) draw the name of one lucky winner, to be announced on Tuesday's post.

This contest is now closed; congratulations Leah!

Oh, and after you leave your kind reflections,

head to Susanna's Blog for today's other PPBF picks.

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Be The One

Today I'm excited because we have a winner for the three-month FarFaria App subscription. Congrats, Sarah Crist. I will be in touch with you to connect you with my friends at FarFaria so you can download your app directly. 

Sarah's favorite B2S book is The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. Such a sweet, sensitive story with a built-in strategy to help young ones stay connected with their loved ones even when distance separates them.

Did you know that there's another book in this series,

one that targets the problem of bullying behaviors?

Click the book cover graphic for a reading on You Tube.

Watching this video from Conscious Discipline might very well be the most important ten minutes that you'll spend today. OK, that might be a stretch, but I promise you that you will not want to miss this look at how bullying happens.

It goes all the way back to birth. The part about children with "difficult temperaments" stopped me in my tracks. I especially connected with the explanation about what a parent says our of frustration and angers and what that parent actually means. How many times was that me? 

A problem in the making ...

Now that we have this powerful information,

how do we meet the needs of those children she refers to as

"desperate for connection" effectively? Or at least a little? Because to them, a bad connection is better than no connection at all. And the part about "I don't care" meaning their brain is shut off, we've got our work cut out for us to reverse their "I don't feel cared for by anyone" feelings, because kids can't learn from someone with whom they don't have a relationship.

The virtue of "empathy is offline." WoW. 

Ok, so the video kind of ends quickly, leaving us hanging. That's because it's produced by a company that'd like you to attend their training and use their program. But you can also elevate empathy and counteract that "problem in the making" by creating a climate of caring attachments in your classroom, with your class family. Put your focus on relationships and linking our students to one another and to you. Let them talk and teach them to listen. Help them express their feelings in a healthy way. Empower them to take responsibility for their own learning so that they don't feel unworthy or disconnected. You could be the one who helps that child connect. One of the slides in my presentation has some challenging Buddy-Buzz questions:

Read Teaching kids to be nice without being bullied {here}.

One by Kathryn Otoshi is a powerful tool 
with an anti-bullying, be-the-one theme. 

Using simple color blots to serve as its characters, Otoshi makes it easy for us to connect feelings to her tale about Blue. Yellow is bright and sunny, for example, and Purple is regal. Like fire, however, Red is hot and its anger translates into bullying behavior. Red pushes Blue around and no one intervenes to make it stop. Because the other colors won't stand up to Red, they are all eventually berated and belittled. Until One comes along. One helps the other colors understand that what Red is doing is wrong. One encourages the colors to be upstanders rather than bystanders. And, in the end, when Red gets so mad that he's about to roll away, it's his true Blue friend who suggests that they co-exist ... and maybe even get along? ... with this reflective inquiry: Can Red be hot and Blue be cool?

Want a glimpse into your students' world? 
Make a Be A Buddy, Not a Bully T-chart before reading One aloud:

Check out this great review with activities for One {here}.
Watch a Vimeo using kid-made stick puppets to act out One {here}.
Don't miss this Pinterest page dedicated to One {here}.

This year, as you work to build relationships with your superheroes, 
why not challenge them with this question:
How will you be the one?

Oh, and be on the lookout in Sept. 2014 for Two!

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Check back tomorrow when we go down the road to San Antonio to read what Lorraine from Fabulous 4th Grade Froggies has to say about Chapter 7: E is for Enthusiasm. Coincidentally I get to meet this blogging friend on Monday, and 
I can't wait!

1

Character Ed's Resource Round-Up

There's this friend named Ed, and he's a real character.

Today, in no particular order, some of Character Ed's 

super finds of the summer.

Misty over at Think, Wonder & Teach read my book, What's Under Your Cape?, (twice) and wrote a beautiful reflection. Just use her wonder-full button to go there and read what this newbie teacher has to say.

Misty, your sixth-grade SUPERHEROES are going to fly!

Jen over at PH Greene uses this six-pillar graphic as her email signature and it got me to thinking ... what if you posted this in a classroom to chart behavior ... in a catch 'em being kids with character sort of way. Click the graphic to see the chart my friend Dr. Fuller shared and then adapt away. 
Or use hers, 'cause it's super, too.

Lori over at Teaching With Love and Laughter posted an AmAzInG character education reflection pack yesterday.

Let her button transport you to her page for more details.

Lori, keep sprinkling sunshine all over cyberspace!

Frank Sonneberg Online has a fabulous 

Friends Forever Freebie {here}.

Jackie over at Third Grade's A Charm has a 

heart map freebie that'll grab your heart {here}.

We did these in small group feelings class this spring

and the students really enjoyed bringing these to life.

You'll want to check out Edutopia's Perseverance Walk video.

And if you need a game that'll help elevate empathy,

here are Ellen Holderman's Top 13 picks.

My, my, Character Ed certainly has been a busy beaver.

I hope that he'll stop by again as he scouts out more

engaging character education resources that'll

help your superheroes soar!

6

That's Enough!

Have you ever asked yourself when enough is really enough? 

And is there a point when enough is really too much?

Yep, that's what I woke up wondering this morning.

I think it's because of this book:

I've been on a cleaning spree and I couldn't decide about this book.

Do I keep it or donate it?

Obviously I purchased it for a reason;

I'm always very intentional when I buy a book.

So I decided to try it out on a first-grade boy who

periodically has invited himself to my office

just to check in with me and, if he gets I get lucky,

he stays long enough to read a story.

This Jules Feiffer thinker is an imaginative first-person narrative from the boy in the top left about the boy in the bottom right.

The boy across the street.

Someone he doesn't even know.

Someone he wishes he did.

Someone he envies a great deal.

And as we were reading, my friend (whom I'll call Collin 'cause that's his name) is saying things like, "Wow, that kid's greedy" and "Stuff isn't really that important, is it, Mrs. Gruener?" and "Who would really want a piranha for a pet anyway?"

In the end, however, we realize that the kid across the street

probably doesn't really have all of this stuff and that the lonely

boy probably wouldn't even want all of that stuff anyway ...

what he really wants ... in the end ... is a friend.

So Collin asks if he can take the book back to his first-grade class to see what they think. As he hands it to his teacher, I hear him tell her that "it's weird!" and ask politely if she could find some time for them to read it together because he wants to know what she and his classmates think. Of course, she does ...

Flash forward to recess. I see Collin and his classmates through the fence on the playground as I'm returning from lunch. As they invite me to jump the fence and come play, one sincere little girl asks me a question I won't quickly forget: 

What can I do about jealousy, Mrs. Gruener?  

Oh, no, have you been visited by the big green jealousy monster? I hear myself reply, to which Collin chimes in that he gets visits from that little green guy all the time when he's around his little brother. I just love that kid! Anyway, we have this brief counseling chat about being green with envy in a group of about six firsties who've gathered to watch and see if I actually will jump the fence or not (while they visit with me about jealousy) ... and I'm still thinking about it this morning.

Because of that book.

What can you do when the jealousy monster pays a visit?

When is enough ... enough?

I think that's a valid question ... 

and there's probably a really good answer

that varies person by person, day by day.

So I've created an I Quit card to try.

Download Frame/Border by Tracee Orman {here}

I'm going to complete these with students who want to

quit a behavior, thought or feeling that they've had enough of:

Feeling jealous

Boasting or bragging

Interrupting

Exaggerating

Stealing

Lying

Spreading rumors

Gossiping

Excluding others

Insert your poison {-----here-----}

It may sounds waaaaaaay too simple,

but the first step simply has to be saying,

"That's Enough!"

Stop.

No more.

Cease and desist.

Make a plan together with students detailing how.

Then, encourage them do it.

With intention.

On purpose.

Every minute of every day.

Suggest posting it on the bathroom mirror

so it's a daily reminder of their goal. 

Or by their calendar so they can check off days.

Remember, only 21 days to break a bad habit

and replace it with a healthier, happier one! 

With a little help if they need it.

From a family member, a friend,

or an accountability group of critical friends.

They can do it.

And, when the behavior or feeling they've had enough of is gone,

they'll be glad they did ... 

and their stakeholders will celebrate with them.

What ideas have you used with success

to help students combat that big green jealousy monster?

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