Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Entah.Entah.Entah.

Banyak benda dah jadi. Dah lepas, dan bakal lepas.
Saya punya plan semua tak jadi, tapi saya tahu, yang berlaku adalah yang terbaik. Maka saya akan just go with the flow. Tak merancang? Entah. Rancang, cuma yang merencana lebih arif.

Ada kawan yang sudah pergi, ada yang akan kembali, ada yang mungkin jumpa lagi suatu hari nanti.

Cabaran baru yang bakal saya jumpa, mungkin akan melemahkan, atau menguatkan, depends betapa kuatnya dugaan tu.

Baru saya sedar, inilah kali pertama saya berada jauh dari rumah untuk lebih dari setahun. Sekarang sudah hampir satu tahun sebulan. Patutlah saya terlalu nak sangat pulang. Tiket pula yang mahal. Argh.

Graduation sudah lepas, Raya Haji pun sudah lepas. Memang masa bergerak pantas.

Tapi saya cuba bergerak lebih pantas, terkocoh kacah sampai tindakan melebihi keadaan. Terlajak tak boleh nak u turn. Macam-macam yang saya decide, yang belum pun perlu untuk saya decide. Haha, kelam kabut. Clumsy pun ada.

Kalau ada peluang, nak saya putarkan balik masa. Saya rasa ramai yang nak juga putarkan balik masa. Mana boleh da...

OK.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Study break!

Last week was my final week for my final year of undergraduate studies.
If I'm given the opportunity to resume my studies next year, I'll proceed to postgraduate studies. wah...kagum sendiri. But chances are, I might end up in Malysia busy looking for kind-hearted employer willing to pay for my very little knowledge ini.

Anyhow, it's study week. Shh... silence hour.

All the best to myself, and to my friends, and also to my brothers and sister.

I gave adik the wrong message a few days back. I was asking whether she could get the first place in her class for her final exam, and she firmly replied 'no'. So I told her (with the intention of motivating her of coz) that I always get number 6 in school because I was born in June. And she told me that the person who always gets the first place was also born in January. 'So adik patut dapat nombor 4 lah sebab adik lahir bulan 4', I replied. Then she hesitated for a couple of seconds, and said, 'Hm...oklah. Bolehlah.' She took my 'advice' and instead of aiming for number 7, she now aims for the 4th place.

Oh ya, back to our exams. All the best to me. To you. To everyone.

Gambatte kudasai!!!

Semoga dipermudahkan...

Friday, October 12, 2007

Semalam.

Semalam hari gembira saya.
Saya pergi kelas. Walaupun terlupa nak print nota dan kepala rasa tak best dalam kelas, saya rasa ok.

Balik, saya dapat parcel daripada mak. Yeay. Gembira bangat. Bila pandang kotak, saya kecilkan mata. Nampak kotak BESAR. Bila pandang resit, saya BESARkan mata, biar nampak kecik je nombornya. Thank you mummy.

Kemudian saya ke kedai. Membeli barang untuk masak malam tu. Saya jalan dengan gembira. Ambik2 gambo, sampai ke 58 Ilam. Kemudian bersama makcik saya ke kedai. Beli belah dengan gembira.

Pulang, saya masak dengan hati yang senang. Walaupun berjam-jam (saya ni slooowww..) tapi rasa seronok.

Malam, tengok budak-budak rumah pasang lampu kelip-kelip yang tak berkelip dalam rumah kat atas langsir. Best jugak...

Malam, abah call. Lagilah saya gembira.

Tapi lepas tu saya sedih. Rindulaaaa...

Friday, October 5, 2007

It's Friday lah!

"Do not compromise what you believe just to get along with the group more easily. Other people might give you grief for not just going along with the plan, but deep down they will respect you for sticking to your guns".

This is what I got from my horoscope. Yep, yep. Karut marut. But nowadays it's not merely about predictions of what will happen to u in the future, it's more like an advice. There's no harm in taking others' advice aite?

Hurm...by the way, I just got back from Countdown aka Giant. I walked, as I always do, and it took me almost half an hour because of my the very the slow pace (due to puasa..hehe). On my way back, I saw a dead itik. I think the driver was trying to reverse his/her car when he accidently hit that poor itik. Kesian, kesian, kesian.

I bet that itik didn't see that the car was coming, and may be he had never thought that he would die that way. Even we don't know when we will die, let alone itik..
Bye itik, hopefully you have no regrets in your previous life...

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Everyday is like Ramadhan...

We've Scanned the Sky - by Dawud Wharnsby Ali

Well, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadan
When we’ll fast together for Allah, to help and strengthen our iman

Oh it was so very long ago
In the holy month of Ramadan
Allah sent his message to the world
The holy book of Quran
A light to shine for all mankind
A guide to teach us right from wrong
First revealed on the night of power
With peace until the rising of the dawn.

So we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadan
When we’ll fast together for Allah, to help and strengthen our iman

As the sun lay sleeping, beneath the blanket of the night
We rise early to make suhur, before the white thread of light
We’re patient and kind, remembering Allah all throughout our day
And when the sun has gone and we’ve made iftar,
We gather together and pray.

’cause we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadan
When we’ll fast together for Allah, to help and strengthen our iman

Well, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadan
When we’ll fast together for Allah, to help and strengthen our iman

So many of our brothers and sisters, all across the land
They have no food to eat at all, and they need a helping hand
When we fast from morning ’til the night, to fulfill Allah’s command
We feel the hunger and thirst they feel, and it helps us to understand

For, all too fast, the moon goes past, our month of blessings now has gone
But we’ll keep its spirit throughout the year, Everyday should be like Ramadan

So we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we say “Farewell” to Ramadan
When we fast together for Allah, to help and strengthen our iman


Yes, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we say “Farewell” to Ramadan
When we fast together for Allah, to help and strengthen our iman

Monday, October 1, 2007

Alah bisa tegal biasa

Hujung minggu yang lepas, saya bekerja lagi. Offer kerja sudah pun diterima (cewah,macam nak jadi executive), dan kini saya hampir-hampir menjadi staff Chateau on The Park. Cuma belum dapat uniform (yang menghabiskan hampir 20% dari gaji mingguan saya untuk 3 minggu *cet!*).

Bekerja sangat letih. Puasa, lagi la letih. Saya bekerja untuk 5 jam hari Sabtu dan Ahad. Bekerja di bahagian laundry, sebagai laundry assistant. Basuh cadar yang menimbun-nimbun, masuk dalam dryer, keluarkan (berat yang amat) dan kemudian lipat. Proses yang sama pada towel-towel yang juga menimbun. Dan beberapa jenis kain-kain lain yang kita biasa jumpa dalam bilik hotel.

Pertama kali melihat bilik laundry hotel, rasa kagum pun ada. Mesin basuh power-power, muat untuk basuh baju yang dah kumpul 4 minggu untuk 5 orang. Bayangkan! Dryer dia pulak lagi besar. Mungkin kalau anda malas nak mengelap badan selepas mandi, atau anda kesejukan, boleh muat kot kalau nak guna dryer ni. Bila bosan, saya masukkan kepala dan pusing-pusingkan bahagian dalam dryer tu. Rasa pening, macam naik ferry. Tapi saya tak boleh buat selalu, risau-risau dibuang kerja pula.

Sekarang, rutin hujung minggu dah berubah. Tak boleh tidur lambat sangat, takut-takut terlajak sampai terlepas bas. Hari minggu dah kurang masa nak bersantai, balik kerja pun dah penat. Memang satu benda yang baru, masih dalam proses mengadaptasi.

Orang kata, 'tak apa..lama-lama biasalah tu..'. 'Nanti bila dah lama dah tak penat dah..' dan seumpanya. Betul, betul, betul! (tiru Ipin). Nanti lama-lama saya pun power macam kawan kerja saya, nanti saya pun boleh buat laundry sambil tutup mata, nanti saya pun boleh balik dengan senang hati tanpa rasa irihati dengan itik-itik kat kolam. Sebab alah bisa tegal biasa...

Bila buat sesuatu yang kita tak biasa berulang kali, kita akan jadi biasa. Tak kisah lah sama ada kita berniat untuk membiasakan diri atau kita terbiasa sendiri. Tak biasa, kalau buat lama-lama jadi biasa. Kalau benda elok, alangkah baiknya. Memula liat bangun Subuh, tapi bila dah asyik kena simbah dengan air, lama-lama terbiasa bangun sendiri. Mula-mula susah untuk makan sahur, tapi kalau dah hari-hari kena kejut dan dapat makanan sedap-sedap, lama-lama terbiasa juga. Baguskan kalau yang terbiasa itu perkara yang elok-elok?

Tapi kalau yang terbiasa itu benda-benda yang kurang elok, alangkah ruginya, kan? Mula-mula belajar memandu, pejalan kaki pun lagi laju. Bila dah biasa, boleh pecut tak ingat dunia. Dulu masa kecik selalu dengar cakap mak ayah, ni bila besar dah makin biasa melawan dan marah-marah. Dulu rasa kurang senang bila berdua, bila dah biasa rasa selesa pula yang bertakhta. Hmm... macam-macam lagilah yang berlaku yang kadang-kadang kita sendiri pun tak perasaan yang dia dah pun masuk kategori 'biasa'.

Kalaulah benda yang kita tak biasa tu memang Dia tak suka, kita tak perlu berinisiatif untuk membiasakan diri. Buang karan je... Kalau benda yang tak biasa tu memang Dia suka, usahalah untuk biasa. Sebab usaha kita tu takkan sia-sia.

Ada benda yang perlu ada 'alah bisa'nya, ada benda yang berbaloi untuk ada 'tegal biasa'nya.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

"Jom balik", kata hati saya.

Saya nak balik rumah. Banyak sebab kenapa saya nak balik rumah.

Komputer saya buat hal kebelakangan ini. Bak kata abang saya, "Dah sampai masa tu...". Saya kurang faham akan keadaan komputer itu sekarang, dan saya hanya akan serahkan pada yang pakar.

Sekarang dah masuk bulan Ramadhan. Sudah tiga tahun berRamadhan jauh dari keluarga. Dari masa adik saya belum mampu berpuasa penuh, hingga masa dia dah boleh berpuasa penuh malah lebih bertenaga dari orang lain.

Harga tiket ke Malaysia dan ke sini mahal. Oh, mahal, dan fully booked. Kenapa ramai sangat yang nak datang sini? Kenapa? Why? Pourqoi?? Limaaza??

Honours...hm, malas nak bercerita panjang.

Sekarang kepala pening, dan saya yakin sebabnya saya terlebih tidur.

ok. sayonara.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Surat untuk SEMUA.

Assalamualaikum...

Terima kasih kerana menyinggah dan membaca.
Di kesempatan ini, saya nak minta maaf semaaf-maafnya pada semua, di atas SEMUA kesilapan saya.

Maaf jika saya saya tersalah bahasa, terlebih gurau, bercakap sesuatu yang tak sepatutnya saya cakap...

Jika saya mengata kalian di belakang, depan dan sebagainya...saya minta maaf.

Maaf jika saya diam ketika saya perlu berkata-kata, jika saya berkata-kata ketika saya perlu diam, tidak mendengar ketika perlu, tidak menegur ketika patut, dan jika saya beri contoh yang tidak baik pada kalian...

Maaf atas masa kalian yang saya bazirkan, semoga dihalalkan segala sumber yang kalian guna untuk saya.

Saya minta maaf atas setiap tingkah laku saya yang tidak kalian senangi.

Saya minta maaf, dan memaafkan, dengan harapan Ramadhan yang menjelang menjanjikan yang lebih, lebih baik dari yang sebelumnya.

Semoga apa yang tersimpan tidak lagi terbuku, dan semoga kita sambut Ramadhan dengan hati yang lapang.

Terima kasih sekali lagi...

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Spring Break.

Cuma tinggal weekend ini sahaja sebelum cuti musim bunga tamat. Minggu depan may be puasa. Ramadhan dah nak sampai...sempat juga kita jumpa Ramadhan lagi satu eh...Alhamdulillah...

Apa saya buat cuti spring?

Saya bekerja. Saya bercuti. Kemudian kerja sedikit lagi. Kemudian bercuti.

Saya berjalan-jalan ke Westcoast. Berjalan dua hari dengan 4 kawan dan sebuah wagon hijau yang luas. :)

Saya juga mendapat satu berita yang best di kala cuti ini. Harap-harapnya apa yang diharapkan benar2 menjadi harapan yang nyata. Semoga harapan tidak tinggal harapan. Eceh.

Semalam, saya berborak dengan adik saya yang comel.

"De, de ada setem tak?" dia berbisik, risau mak dengar apa dia nak cakap.
"Tak ada. Kenapa? Hobi adik kumpul setem ke?"
"Hm....mungkin adik nak jadikan tu hobi adik..." masih berbisik.
Saya dah tergelak.
Teringat zaman kecik-kecik, kalau bukan kumpul setem, mesti hobi baca buku atau bermain badminton dan sebagainya.
"Adik, cuba adik buat hobi lain. Contohnya hobi melipat baju, atau hobi mengemas meja adik", saya memberi idea.
"Luar biasa sangat lah. Tak best.Lagipun adik dah ada setem."

Jadi nampaknya buat masa ini hobi adik saya adalah mengumpul setem. Dulu mengumpul sticker. Mungkin nanti mengumpul bekas pensil sebab dia dah ada banyak bekas pensel.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Ade apa?

In less than 1 hour from now, I have to be at College House for another 12-hour cleaning job. (Yeay!)

Last two days was the first time I did the job, and it took me 5 hours (including half an hour break) to clean just 2 rooms and to polish the woodwork along the hallway of three floors.

Yesterday was way better, I managed to clean 3 rooms, plus half of a room, wipe all the tables in two buildings, and clean the hallway on a floor... for 12 hours including the break. Luckily there were quite a number of 'us', so it was fun.

Half of my cuti might be spent on cleaning-cleaning only. Haih.

There's a few things on my mind at the moment.
Like, Milford Sound (nak pegi, nak pegi!).
And.. camera (that tiny thing that made me work this hard).
And.. money (oh oh the tight budget).
Hm...what else? What else? .. 314 asignments, those 'kebajikan' work, sekolah angkat somemore, my short break, Merdeka...ada lagi ada lagi, but forgot lah.

Oh ya, I lost my favourite red uni bottle at work yesterday. Well, I forgot to bring it back last nite. Hope it is still there...Ada lah, ada lah.

Erm, ter think about Es too. Hahah, Es, Es, Es...more like 'isk, isk, isk..'

That's for now.

Ready, get set, work!! I mean, clean!!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

I hate specs.

Hari ni, saya tak tahu kenapa saya rasa rimas dengan cermin mata.
Seingat saya, saya dah mula pakai sejak darjah 5.
'Itulah. Siapa suruh tak jaga mata??' Hm....I don't have the answer.

Dulu bila nikmat tu ade, takmau jaga. Sekarang dah berkurang, komplen. Huhu.

Ujian datang dalam dua bentuk kan. Nikmat dan kesukaran. Benda yang kita suka dengan benda yang kita tak suka.

Benda yang kita suka, enjoy-enjoy, selalu buat kita lupa. Benda yang kita tak suka, selalu buat kita ingat. Tapi dalam ingat-ingat kita komplen.

Nanti, bila kita mati, kita kena jawab. Apa yang kita dah buat dengan nikmat yang Dia bagi? Bila fikir, jawapan saya memang banyak yang tak memberangsangkan.

Tadi belajar Surah At-Takatsur. Tentang sifat tamak, atau berlumba-lumba mencari harta (keseronokan dunia) sampai terlupa pada Dia. Kita berseronok, padahal nanti kita akan ditanya semula apa yang seronok sangat tu. Apa yang best sangat sampai boleh lupa pada Dia?

Banyak benda yang menyeronokkan, tapi kekal ke seronok tu? Susah nak letak prioriti pada kehidupan di hari kemudian...sebab itu ganjarannya kita tak dapat nak bayangkan. Tapi balasan pada perbuatan yang Dia tak suka pun tak dapat kita nak bayangkan jugak. Bukan begitu?

Friday, August 17, 2007

Jumaat tapi Khamis.

Dah lepas pukul satu. Tadi sebelum pukul 12 it was Thursday. So now it's Friday.
Tadi I had my last test for the year. Might be the last test for me kat university. Entah-entah lepas ni saya tak jejak dah kaki kat uni, lepas graduasi. Uh, sedih gak.

A few hours before the test, I had this usual a-few-hours-before-test kind of day.
Notes bersepah sana sini (as if xde masa sgt nak kemas), other courses' notes tertenggek tepi meja tak bersusun. And the room was a mess. Oh, still is..
Then rasa homesick tiba-tiba. But anyway, the test was okay. Not okay-okay, but okaylah.

This week macam 'minggu demam beramai-ramai'. Semoga yang demam segera sembuh, yang selsema segera sembuh dengan suara yang asal, dan yang batuk segera sembuh juga. Alhamdulillah, setakat ni virus belum hinggap kat saya. But last time when I called my mum, she said I sounded as if I was having a flu or I had just woke up. Dua-dua pun tak betul. Entah, may be connection wasn't that good. Hmm...kadang-kadang bagus juga sakit...kan?

Again, I'm writing a pointless entry.

Masa Friendster baru-baru muncul, my mother was really against it. 'Kenapa nak tunjuk kat semua org pasal awak? Tak private lah'...and when blogs came along, the response was similar. I kinda agreed with her, things will sometimes get too personal in blogs as well as in Friendster. Plus anyone can access it, unless you restrict the viewers lah. As for me, I have deleted several posts which I think were too personal to be published. Dah tulis, then publish, then nak padam pulak. What a waste. Haha...pelik but that was what I did.

Hm. Dah malam ni. Tidolah tido.

My sister used to sing this song before she went to bed when she was small;
"Anak mak...nak tido...anak mak...nak tido..." lagu dia reka sendiri.Haha.

Nite nite.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Hari ini hari Ahad.

Hari ini hari Ahad.
Seperti biasa saya rasa kurang senang pada hari Ahad.
Emosi kurang stabil tanpa sebab. Eh cop, mungkin sebabnya hari ini hari Ahad.

Hari Ahad, kalau masa kecil, hari yang kurang best sebab kalau keluar berjalan dengan mak abah kena balik awal. Sebabnya esok sekolah. Malam Ahad, no tv. Sebab esok sekolah.

Bila besar sikit, malam Ahad, dah start prep. Malam Ahad, kena buka beg sekolah untuk pastikan semua kerja sekolah siap. Malam Ahad, kena iron baju sekolah. Malam Ahad rasa tak best sebab esok pagi ada perhimpunan. Huhu.

Malam Ahad sekarang, tak best sebab hujung minggu dah habis. Dan terasa seolah-olah tak guna hujung minggu dengan baik. Malam Ahad selalunya baru sedar yang ada banyak lagi kerja belum siap. Malam Ahad kena lipat baju, sebab basuh baju siang Ahad. Malam Ahad rasa tak best lebih-lebih lagi kalau belum sempat telefon rumah. Nanti tertangguh tanpa sedar sampai Ahad depan. Uh..

Tapi hari ni macam terisi juga. Lepas Subuh, saya kemas bilik. Lepas tu, saya basuh baju. Lepas tu buang sampah. Masa buang sampah la masa untuk exercise tangan. Huhu. Lepas tu jemur baju. Lepas tu dah siap-siap, saya ulang kaji. Tapi sikit je. Huhu lagi. Lepas tu saya ikut Ummu dan rakan-rakan jenguk Arif dengan Nadia dan juga ayah dan ibu mereka. Terima kasih sebab ajak saya ikut. Hehe. Lepas tu saya balik, saya didatangi tetamu yang terundang. Hehe. Sempat minum petang. Lepas tu saya siap-siap, dan kemudian duduk menghadap komputer. Saya cuba ulangkaji, kemudian terpanggil untuk membebel di sini. Lalu saya pun membebel...

Sekarang saya perlu berhenti. Post kali ini memang tiada kepentingan selain untuk diri saya sendiri. Haha. Hm. Gelak tak bersebab.

Ok. Tata.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Can eat eh?

Hallo again...

This post is about the life of a sea-horse.

One day, a sea-horse went for an outing with a bunch of friends (who are also sea-horses).

As they were happily swimming around, suddenly a huge net was thrown at them, and they got caught.

They thought that they were going to be put in an aquarium like what normally happens to other sea-horses, but they were wrong.

A few days later, lifeless, all those sea-horses were put among some fresh fish, in a 'Fish n Chips' shop. A price tag nearby shows that these sea-horses worth $13+ per kilo.

.....

I don't know why I wrote this, mungkin sebab saya jakun sangat tengok kuda laut kena jual untuk dimakan.

So, kuda-laut masak lemak cili padi anyone?

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Need more blood?

Halleuuw...

Last week, the day after the horrible test, they had this blood drive at uni.
Thinking that this might be my last chance to donate kat negara omputih, I decided to give it a go.

Last time, which was about 3 years ago (haha) I was not allowed to donate because of iron deficiency. Then I was 'forced' by a doctor (which was a few months ago) at the Health Centre to take iron tablets hoping that it would help get the count back to normal. Erm...and I think it works!

Therefore I was pretty confident that this time I'll be a blood donor.
To my dissapointment, I was rejected. I was considered as taking medicine, thus can only donate 6 months after I stop taking the tablets.

"We can't take from you what you are trying to build", the nurse said.

Come to think of it, betul jugak eh. How can I give someone else something that I am lack of? Look like I was trying to do something good, but it turned out to be unwise.

You give when you have what to give. You speak when you know what to say. You teach when you have the knowledge. You fight when you have the strength. Do something when you have what it takes. Like that okay?

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

It's so bad that I can't even think about it positively.

Oh nooo....!!! (if you haven't watched Bill's show, you should try watch it at least once so that you could say it the way they say it in that show)

3 hours ago I was sitting for my accounting test. It's the final test before the final exam.

'So how was it?' you may ask.

Let me put these in bullet form (they always want essays and yet they give us too little time to write!)

1. Time. As usual. What's wrong with 2 hours?? What about 1.5 hours? 1 hour 15 mins??
2. Time. Can't stop complaining about this. You missed watching Formula One is it?
3. The questions la of course.
4. Myself.

I seldom express my dissatisfaction regarding my exams because I have always managed to justify my bad performance. But not this time. And I don't know why.
Pisang berbuah dua kali I guess. Last time it was just as bad, and the main issue was insufficient time. Then why on earth are you repeating the same thing? Sigh.

Wah saya sangat sedih dan kecewa. Dengan mereka dan diri sendiri.

Tak apalah, benda dah lepas. Kena tawakal.

Till then...

Sunday, July 22, 2007

It is all fated...

Image

Hallo..
I'm updating this blog so frequent as if I have nothing else to do eh?
It's more like a sequel to the previous post. Haih, sequel-sequel pulak dah.

Anyway, as I was consoling myself in my loss, something caught my eyes. Haha. A mug that I had for my 22nd birthday. A wonderful friend gave it to me, and because it is a gift, I have never intended to use it, so I just put it near the window as a decoration. It says, 'Hope your special day is the beginning of a brand new year that's full of good cheer' on the inner side of it.

Then I began to see how it was supposed to work. The mug was there all these while, waiting to take over my blue mug. Well, not literally taking over, but apparently I'm using it now, since the pieces of the old one are already in the bin.

What I'm trying to say is that things are all fated. Either we like it or not, it will happen just like how it has been determined. No matter how well you have planned, if it is not meant to be, it will never be. Erm..seems like I'm saying it from a negative point of view.

Okay, let's look at it the other way around. I've lost a mug, without realizing that I've another one waiting to be used. Had I not broke my blue mug, the brown mug might still be there beside the window, unallowed to serve its purpose as a mug. Kesian dia boring jadi hiasan.

Everything happens for a reason. I got this brown mug because one day I'd lose the blue one, and we normally don't realize this in the first place. I lost the blue one because it's high time I use the brown one. Yela, something like that lah. When we lost something, or had to let something go, it doesn't mean everything ends there. Life goes on and there's always something to look forward to. Orang kata let bygones be bygones. Masa kecik, all I know was that Bygone is an effective bug spray untuk halau pacat.

Hm, do I sound like I'm having a hard time in life? No lah. Everything's fine, only that I miss home so much.

I am destined to study overseas so that I would know how it feels to be homesick. Got it?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

It's broken...

Image

This is so frustrating.
I woke up quite early, had breakfast and even managed to read the whole handout which I intended to finish by last night.
I sat there in front of telly, reading while watching the MVs..
Then feeling like studying in my room, I went to the kitchen to make myself a mug of hot Milo.
So as I was waiting for the water to boil, I took my favourite blue mug out of the cabinet. But out of a sudden, it slipped off my fingers and fell on to the floor and broke. It broke!!

"Aaaaaaaaaa...!!!!", I screamt. I was frustrated you know. My lovely mug is now broken. Sedih tau.

I only bought two mugs all these 2 and a half years, and now the one I favour most is broken. Thanks to my clumsy hand of course. Only one left, and that one is too big that I usually use it to eat, not to drink. Sigh.

Buy a new one? Not in the mood. Not in the mood of a replacement...

Friday, July 20, 2007

Tanpa Penutup

Hari ini dan semalam dan hari sebelum semalam, saya sibuk belajar.
Banyak alat tulis yang teman saya belajar, termasuklah 5 batang highlighter yang saya beli dengan harga 99sen kesemuanya.
Hari ini, saya tersedar yang highlighter warna oren telah hilang penutupnya. Highlighter yang selama ini gagah membantu saya menerangkan isi-isi penting, sudah kering dakwatnya.
Masih ada dalam badan, cuma sudah tak mampu untuk diluahkan. Masih bernyawa, tapi tak mampu nak berjasa. Hanya sebab ia hilang penutup.
Pen tanpa penutup, highlighter tanpa penutup, seolah-olah dakwat dia hilang macam tu sahaja. Kalau pensil masih boleh lagi, sebab pensil memang pada asalnya jarang yang berpenutup.
Pensil memang biasa hidup berjasa tanpa penutup. Highlighter umpama tak bernyawa tanpa penutup. Penutup pelengkap highlighter la kiranya ni.
Mungkin ada maksud tersirat, atau mungkin ini cuma tulisan tanpa arah.
Apa yang saya pasti, highlighter saya yang warna oren sudah tak mampu nak membantu saya, dan saya sedih. Tapi tak apa, masih ada highlighter-highlighter warna lain yang masih gagah di sisi. Itulah kebaikannya kalau kita ada sesuatu, adakan banyak-banyak. Tamak? Tak adalah, backup orang kata.

Macam yang dalam cerita 'About A Boy', Marcus kata '...a couple won't do. we need backup'.

Hidup Ikut Rentak

Image
Hidup ikut rentak...
Tapi ada rentak yang tariannya tidak saya ketahui...
Bila rentak bertukar, saya masih terkocoh-kocoh belajar yang lama...
Orang kata alah bisa tegal biasa, tak sempat nak tegal, tak sempat nak biasa.

Arus yang bergerak kadang-kadang terlalu pantas sampai terbenci...
Kalau tak bergerak sama, akan ditelan arus...
Mungkin satu hari arus yang akan membenci saya...
Benci tak apa, asal jangan ditelan.

Saya nak jadi macam sumpah-sumpah. Itik mungkin tak sesuai. Sumpah-sumpah, mudah mengadaptasi, tak kira suasana yang menakutkan atau suasana yang menghiburkan. Senang dia berubah, tapi dia masih tetap sumpah-sumpah. Tapi saya tak macam sumpah-sumpah. Harus gimana?

Dalam ini banyak persoalan, tapi kan tak elok tanya banyak soalan-soalan kalau tiada kepentingannya. Namun tetap saya bertanya, cuma tidaklah berharap pada jawapan.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

It's Tuesday...

Erm...what am I doing??