Life in Weyers Cave

When I am a benevolent dictator, here are some of my laws: Factories turn off their lights at night. The only people that can see them don't WANT to see them and it disrupts the animals and the ecosystem and wastes money. When two people get divorced, the government pays child support and takes it out of the hide of the one who is supposed to pay. The idea that kids are used as pawns in this is ridiculous. Everyone who gets an abortion who expects the government to pay for it automatically gets their tubes tied. $1000 free and clear to anyone who gets "fixed." No questions asked. One per customer. Tiny tattoo goes with it to help with scamming. Biometrics identity all the way. No voting privileges (yes, you can vote under my dictatorship, but I can overrule anything) unless  you can present a high school diploma or GED AND pass a test on the Constitution. Voting privileges are temporarily denied if you are on welfare. If your license is suspended, you can ...

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's ...