In Memory of Elle Simone

 

At the end of “America’s Test Kitchen” today, they showed a picture of Elle Simone (one of the cooks on the show), with the dates 1976-2026. I thought, “Oh no! Did her ovarian cancer get her?” I looked her up on my phone and discovered that, alas, it had. She died on January 5.

Elle was the first African-American woman to appear as a regular host on ATK. She had a really interesting history, working as a social worker in her native Detroit, then taking a job as a cook on a cruise ship. Per her Wikipedia entry, she moved to New York, went to culinary school, and did an internship on the Food Network before starting with ATK.

She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2016 and became active with the Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance. Like me, she was diagnosed with Stage 1 cancer, which is incredibly rare with ovarian cancer. Because its symptoms are so vague and can be attributable to so many other maladies, ovarian cancer is not caught until Stage 3 or 4. Elle’s cancer went into remission, but came back in 2020.

Elle was one of my favorite hosts on ATK. I loved her fresh, positive attitude. When she first started on ATK, she was definitely full figured, as I am. She lost quite a bit of weight and became an advocate of healthy eating. But no matter her size, heavy or thinner, in treatment or remission, she exuded joy and carried herself with authority.

I was sad to hear of her death. And a bit shaken. As an ovarian cancer survivor myself, I know that ovarian cancer tends to be one of the more deadly cancers. Often, this is because it is usually not detected until it is Stage 3 or 4. But even when caught in Stage 1, it can come back, as it did for Elle and as it did for me (three times).

And for me, as not only an ovarian cancer survivor but also the carrier of a mutated BRCA-1 gene, my risk for recurrence is always there at a fairly high level, even though I’ve had No Evidence of Disease (NED) since 2011. I have made some changes in my life that I think have helped me in regard to my chances of recurrence, but of course, I can’t control everything.

And so, Elle’s death from ovarian cancer, as any such death I hear about of people I know or famous people I am familiar with, shakes me, because I know it could be me. This is especially true when I am approaching my semi-annual check ups, as I am now. My next blood test is in March, as is my yearly CT scan. And while most of the time, I can put worries about recurrences on the back burner, twice a year, they take center stage. So I will try to keep myself as calm as I can over the next month and half and keep in mind that I’ve been NED for quite some time.

Rest in peace and power, Elle. And all my sisters who’ve died of this disease.

The 10 Album Challenge: Open Up and Say... Ahh! by Poison

 

On July 11, 2025, my blog entry was a republishing of a “10 albums in 10 days” challenge that I originally did on Facebook in 2020. The rules were that you post 10 albums, 1 every day. The original way was to leave no explanation, but the explanation is the fun part for me! It does NOT have to be a “best of all time” album, just an album you think is noteworthy for whatever reason, be it personal or musical.

I’ve put together another list of ten albums I’d like to write about, but I doubt I will accomplish the task in 10 days, lol.

At any rate, today’s album is Open Up and Say... Ahh! by Poison.

Poison was, to me, the ultimate hair metal band. Not necessarily the best, the most talented, or the best songwriters, but the ultimate. They were the whole package: glammed out makeup and clothing to the max; teased, moussed, and puffed-up hair up to there; and catchy, power-hook laden anthems and big power ballads that sounded best played loud. Plus, I think the band, or Bret Michaels at least, were in on the joke. Cause let’s face it. Hair metal is more than a little ridiculous. Oh, don’t get me wrong – I love hair metal! But I recognize the inherent silliness of it as well. And I think Bret Michaels did so, as I always felt he performed and posed with a wink and nod.

Open Up and Say... Ahh! was Poison’s second album and was a step up in songwriting, musical performance, and production from their first album, Look What the Cat Dragged In. Open Up was released in April 1988, which was the end of my senior year at The College of Wooster. I was in a party mood at the time, having finished my senior Independent Study Thesis, and wrapping up my undergrad studies. And this album is definitely a party album, with tracks like "Love on the Rocks, " "Back to the Rocking Horse," "Good Love," "Tearin' Down the Walls," and "Bad to Be Good." And, of course, it has one of the 1980’s definitive party tracks, "Nothin' But a Good Time." But perhaps the highlight of this record is the ballad "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," one of the best hard rock ballads of that decade.

I blasted this album often from my dorm room in Wooster, and all that summer – well, usually through headphones then, as I was staying with my grandparent that summer while I worked at the stamping plant where my brother worked. When I graduated from Wooster, I felt like I knew it all. I was probably insufferable! But I also felt lost. I loved my undergrad experience at Wooster and was heartbroken at having to leave. I was going to start grad school at Kent State that fall, so I had a place to go, but I knew it wouldn’t be the same. Somehow, in some ways, my party mood and senioritis at the end of my Wooster experience was a cover for my sadness. So, this album kind of propped me up during a difficult time.

what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it

 

My minister gave a barn burner of a sermon today. This sermon is particularly relevant to my last post, and was, as is often the case, what I needed to hear today. Below is a link to Rev Ali Peter’s sermon, “Church as Counterculture,” of January 11, 2026 at SouthWest Unitarian Universalist Church.

https://youtu.be/pAXJ62mq0AA

It's been a while, but outrage prompts me to write

 

So, it’s been a while since I wrote a blog entry. Apologies to those of you who have been reading along. I’ve been busy at work, which has cut into my church and personal time, which ticks me off. I mean, I’m happy we are busy at work, as I’ve been at a company where we were not busy, at least not in terms of sales, and I ended up laid off from that job. But there are not enough people in our department, so we are all overworked. I ended up not taking all my PTO time last year. My fault, to some extent. I didn’t’ plan my year out in terms of making time to schedule it. And also, I have this hang up about asking for time off when I am behind in my caseload. By the time I realized that I’d have four or so days left by year’s end, it was so late in the year that I couldn’t fit them in.

But it’s not like I haven’t been writing at all. I wrote and delivered a sermon at church at the end of November. That went very well. I think it was one of the best sermons I’ve ever written, and the delivery went really well, too. Unfortunately, the service didn’t get recorded that day, so I can’t provide a link. But I will post the sermon in another blog entry someday.

But I’ve been pushed to write now by the murder of Renee Nicole Good by Trump’s Gestapo aka ICE. Not that I have anything original to say about it. I just need to express my outrage. What kind of professional law enforcement officer uses a cell phone to film as he is engaging in a conflict? What kind of professional law enforcement officer positions himself directly in front of a vehicle, just a short distance away? Why didn’t Ross just get out of the way of the vehicle? And, of course, the Trump regime’s response is typical of that ilk. Blaming the victim, calling names. They have all but said, well, she is a leftist activist, so she deserved to die.

Of course, ICE has been kidnapping and terrorizing brown and black people for the last year now. And historically, the US has taken advantage of, abused, and killed, either directly or indirectly, black and brown people since its inception. So, as much as I am outraged by Good’s murder, I can’t help but wonder if some of the intensity of the public reaction is because she is white. White, middle-class folks are starting to realize that this could have been them. Their privilege won’t protect them anymore, at least not if they are questioning or protesting the regime’s policies. And the realization caused by Good’s murder and the regime’s justification for it does seem to indicate that a line has been crossed. Anyone this regime sees as a threat is a target – black, brown, white, male, female, trans. If you are standing up for justice against the regime, they will mow you down, no matter what. Good’s murder was not the line, per se, as I doubt it was a planned event. But instructions to shoot to kill must have been in place for a while now.

I am also heartsick about knowing what to do. People gather at protest events. They call their representatives. They write letters and emails. Commentators write their outrage and explain what is happening in a historical context. Religious leaders speak truth to power and try to comfort and encourage their congregations. And little seems to change. The regime becomes increasingly extreme. I know that the regime’s policies are unpopular. There is hope that the midterms will flip the House. But will we have free and fair elections? Will we have elections at all? What more can we do?

A Car Ride Through Memories

 So after tai chi class this evening I stopped at Layne’s Chicken for dinner. I was not favorably impressed. The food was tolerable, but not good. Raisin’ Canes is better.

Then I drove home. I opened my sunroof and my windows, with the music turned up. It reminded me of driving around during summer evenings during grad school, first in my 1977 Chevy Impala (with holes in the floor board and gas tank!) and then my 1986 Chevy Prism (which had an aftermarket sunroof that leaked when it rained). I’m even listening to the same music! (at least tonight I was). I used to drive around to entertain myself. I guess I was kind of lonely in the evenings back then. That was before I discovered UUism and joined the church in Kent. Many of my friends in school were married and didn’t live in Kent. Of course, during the summer, I should have been industrious, working on my foreign language requirement or working up some of my research papers into articles for publication.

But I wasn’t industrious or ambitious enough. Oh, I was an excellent student when class was in session in fall and spring semester. I had a 4.0 grade point average throughout my MA and Ph.D. programs. But during the summer, I just messed around. Hung out with my friends (during the day), played video games, and rode my bike to Brady Lake and up to campus. Anything but academic work, except during the six weeks I had summer school. I guess I was just too used to summer’s off from schoolwork.

And also I guess that lack of industriousness and ambition was the reason I did not finish my Ph.D. and why I was ultimately not cut out for professional academic life. I was good at being a student when taking classes were involved. But all this “working up” of side projects, like publishing papers, was not for me. At least not at the time. I was deadline driven. And without a deadline, I did nothing. 

I was also kinda stuck in an extended adolescence. I was struggling to deal with my sexual orientation (that could be a whole series of blog entries). I was flailing around in my mind, trying to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. I was searching spiritually. I was kind of a mess.

Looking back at that time, though, I was learning and growing. The struggles and flailing and searching did propel me on the path to my life now. It took 30 years, but I’m finally getting my shit together. Not perfect, but much more self-aware and responsive than the younger version of me. Now if I only had the energy of youth!