Day Two

No YOU ARE NOT ...
These three words kept coming from my mouth thru tears.  I remember took the phone but
I don't remember him saying much - just listening - which is his strength.  We all spoke at length - I could say about two hours and we were all exhausted.  Ace announced he would be moving out that day ... that he had told both of his Sisters ...

I couldn't understand WHY he was moving out - he said he assumed we would want him OUT of the house.  He had already made arrangements - he hung up.  We could not get ahold of him anymore that day - he would not answer his phone.  Looking back I can understand why - he was emotionally exhausted. 

Calls were made to his sisters who were distraught!  At least one daughter was married and turned to her husband for comfort.  My other daughter was not married and was not dating anyone at the time she could turn to.  She wanted to go to one of my gal pal's home and talk.  I didn't WANT this OUT ... so I asked her not to ... life was so out of control.


The following day, first thing after breakfast, more calls were placed.  He answered a time or two and he was very upset.  I had said he was going to stay with a cousin in another state.  Well that cousin was my husband's nephew  ... so my husband called his brother to let him know what was going on .... to make sure he was aware.  His brother was more than kind and said he'd watch over Ace and not to worry.  Well when Ace found this he ... he was very upset that we were trying to control him and I don't know what the heck else, but he was very upset.  Now he wasn't going there ... he was moving in with "friends" ... what FRIENDS?  These new FRIENDS ... that we knew nothing about.

THE DAY MY WORLD CHANGED

Did you ever have a day when something was in the wind?  Something in your world was amiss?  A Mother's intuition - and you dismiss the feeling because sometimes putting your head in the sand is easier?

 

My husband and I were taking our first ever vacation without our children. We have three children together and one adopted son.  We decided to go to Puerto Vallarta - for fun in the sandy beaches.  We were so happy together the days before leaving, the excitement of what to pack, making sure our children were watched out for.  Ever a mother, my children -  then were two daughters ... one married for about a year, and another daughter in college, but living at home ... and a 12 year old son who we decided should spend that time on a family farm, and my son Ace who was then 19.  All was well ... all was calm ... LIFE WAS GOOD.  We landed in Mexico, checked into our hotel and we were amazed at the beautiful accommodations we were able to get, and immediately went out to see the sites.  We had a great dinner and decided to go to a club and practice our Salsa Dancing lessons on the floor.  I almost was in tears because this was really FUN and my husband and I never really had a honeymoon, and never took time away from our children.  Now was OUR time.  

 

The next morning we leisurely had our breakfast, took in a massage and decided to head to the beach.  I couldn't believe all the pools, and the beautiful beach that we were surrounded by.  25 years of marriage and finally we were just SITTING and taking in the sites.  We decided to take in an early lunch.  A call came in on my cell phone - it was my son Ace.  I could tell something was wrong and immediately my heart SANK.

 

Before we left for our vacation, our son Ace had met with the Patriarch of our area.  In the LDS church this is kind of like maybe a bishop in the area.  He and his wife met with our son and talked about his pending decision to put in his paperwork to go on a Mission (every parent's dream for their son and/or daughter in the LDS church).  Ace was somewhat nervous - I remember that - but I chalked it up to "its a big decision" - this is two years of his life he's choosing to give to the Lord and provide missionary service anywhere in the world.  It went really well I thought - Ace seemed relieved somewhat.  I remember asking before we left when he would put in his papers - to which he replied in a few weeks.

 

AND THEN CAME THE CALL - my son said "Mom - I can't go on a Mission - and I have to tell you why" and he started crying and then sobbing.  Now my son Ace is one of those great looking guys, straight arrow, kind, a good person - every mom's dream of a son.  My first thought was ... he got a girl pregnant (because he had all kinds of girlfriends - but nobody ever steady, but a steady stream of girls in his life - and their mother's right behind them hoping their daughter would be Ace's pick).  I remember steadying myself for this announcement thinking ... okay we can handle this ... we can handle this.  I asked him to calm down ... and just tell me.  I was already crying and I didn't know why ... my son was "in trouble" - my husband came towards me KNOWING something was wrong.  I had never heard my son sob so - my heart was breaking.  What Ace ... what Ace ... tell me ... its okay ... just tell me.

 

And he said ... I CAN'T GO ON A MISSION BECAUSE I'M GAY!  I remember the first thought that came into my mind - "he didn't get a girl pregnant"- and then regrouped somewhat and calmly said ... NO -  YOU are NOT!