[sticky entry] Sticky: welcome

Jan. 8th, 2023 11:21 pm
deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

#a just death
deerna. 30+. they/them. ace & queer. a degree in languages. losing my goddamn mind by day and writing fanfiction by night. read my stories on dreamwidth and archiveofourown.
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deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

three things i like about myself

1. i really don’t need a lot to pull a story out of scraps, on a good day. now, writing it out is a whole different animal…

2. i have too many interests and too many hobbiest and i am occasionally tempted to do even more — but i prefer that rather than having nothing

3. i am willing to make an effort. i can’t trust my brain with a lot of stuff but at least i can still trust myself with the ability of wanting to think.

 

yeah that was a dig to chatgpt. everyday i am just flabbergasted at how a lot of people are just delegating things (even things people generally do FOR FUN) to AI because they say it’s “easier” or “less effort”.

miss me with that shit


deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

rec the contents of your last page: websites that you like

first of all im gonna shamelessly plug my friend’s webcomic, the under garden: it has been one of my main fandoms for the past couple years (beside baldur’s gate, which was how i found his art and his comics) and it’s been a blast - you can read it on its own website or on webtoon

been attempting to de-google-fy myself for a while and i never liked google docs anyway, so i switched to writing on other platforms: my favourite lately have been obisidian - a personal knowledge base and note-taking application that operates on markdown files - and ellipsus - a web-based writing tool to write, edit and collaborate on any device, with handy options to share your work. trackbear is my tool of choice to track my progress

if there’s a website ive been spending too much time on is youtube - it’s very easy to click on a playlist while im doing chores or whatever and let it play. my favourite of late has been hannah alonzo channel - she’s been covering a lot of MLM content and critique of influencers and overconsumption. since it’s “useful” info i feel less like im frying my brain haha

deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

love letter to fandom

my love letter is to the concept of blorbo.

having a little guy (gender neutral) haunting your brain at all times is such a special thing. makes your days a little lighter and your nights a little less lonely. makes your brain a little more creative - put that blorbo in situations! - and fills you with feels.

occasionally, other people care about the same blorbo. and when you find those who are Correct about blorbo, you can make fast friends, and that’s also so special.

so shout out to all the little guys out there, and all the people squeezing blorbos, making the fandom alive and interesting and so various.

deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

The Icebreaker Challenge: Introduce yourself.

hello dear reader, this is deerna speaking. im a thirty-something from italy who loves writing and yapping about characters with their friends.

i mostly have been doing the writing thing for pre-existing media, but i’ve been dabbling in original writing here and there (although not much of it is available for reading, at the moment. in the future– who knows). the last fandoms i was decently active in were baldur’s gate 3 and the raven cycle/the dreamer cycle (before the writing block/burn out hit me like a metal lunch tray in the face, that is)

a couple reasons i decided to join the snowflake challenge this year: first of all because i always say i am gonna do it, and then i don’t. secondly, because i feel like it might be a good way to make myself write? i don’t know exactly why my instincts say so, but i am trusting my gut on this one.

feel free to interact with this post! i’ll do my best to reply / interact back.

deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)
writing 2025: a summary

2025 masterlist

  • 12 work(s) for 5 fandom(s)
  • posted 18.5k words
  • drafted 18k words

well. that went well. what if i cry

welcome to the second worst year i’ve ever had. i need to remember that i was in the middle of moving out, and also dealing with the worst case of people can’t do their fucking job at work, so i should cut myself some slack, but also. welp.

Read more... )
deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)
fandom 2025: a summary
  • 40 films (4 rewatched)
  • 13 serials (2 rewatched)
  • 19 books
  • 2 comics (2 webcomics)
  • 3 games (1 replay, 1 playthrough)

i did so much eating this year (and very little cooking– but that’s for another post). setting weekly habits w friends will do that to you!

Read more... )
deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)
writing 2024: a summary

2024 masterlist

  • 62 work(s) for 4 fandom(s)
  • posted 73k words
  • drafted 84k words

i’m late as fuck with this post but it’s fine. so apparently 2024 continued the trend that i picked up at the end of 2023 and wrote, wrote, wrote. it's my most productive year so far, even. on one hand i’m proud of myself; on the other hand i’m dreading this post lmao. my saving grace is that many of the things that i wrote aren’t available so i’m giving priority to those that can be read… but also i’ll be a cryptic fuck about those that can’t, why not.

Read more... )
deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)
fandom 2024: a summary
  • 1 movie(s)
  • 15 serial(s): 3 live action shows, 2 reality shows, 2 cartoons, 7 anime, 1 other
  • 3 book(s): 1 non-fiction
  • 2 comic(s): 2 webcomic(s)
  • 2 game(s) + 3 walkthrough(s)

the way i had to literally open my trackers bc i have no idea what happened to my media consumption this year.

Read more... )
deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

writing 2023: a summary

2023 masterlist

  • posted 38.721 words
  • 33 work(s) for 5 fandom(s)
  • drafted +60k words

what's up gamers, i wrote basically one third of the total wordcount in two months, and it's mostly astarion. the downside of this thing when i wrote so much is that i never know which stories to pickkkk please check out my masterlist and read the rest.

Read more... )

deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)
fandom 2023: a summary
  • 11 movies: 1 rewatched, 5 animation, 1 other
  • 27 serials: 3 rewatched, 4 live action, 6 western animation, 14 anime, 3 other
  • 14 books: 5 re-read, 3 non-fiction
  • 18 comics/manga: 11 korean toons, 3 manga, 3 digital comics, 1 webcomic
  • 13 12 games: 7 pc, 1 rpg, 1 browser, 3 mobile

you know the brainrot is really getting to you when you open your media tracker and you're like "oh right, i did that". i have no recollection of the months before november, but hey, there was stuff before astarion took over my life, check it out.

Read more... )
deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)
fandom 2022: a summary
  • 25 movies: 3 rewatches, 6 animation
  • 42 books: 4 re-read, 1 did not finish
  • 6 comics
  • 44 serials: 2 rewatches, 4 reality tv, 10 western animation, 6 anime
  • 14 games: 9 pc games, 1 rpg, 1 browser, 3 mobile

a lot of new media this year, a lot of strange stuff that hit me right in the guts. a seed of something that i hope to grow in the next year.

Read more... )
deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

FANDOM

serials: more anime! kept following bnha s6, chainsaw man and blue lock as they came out. it's been years since i watched anime while they were airing. tried to do a bit of the community thing but i was too distracted with the end of the year review thingies to be consistent about it. in the last days a friend started making me watch library wars, which was a very good time. since i had a bunch of shit to sew (more news about that further on) i finally finished gentleman jack (i keep not giving a fuck about coal but she's the worst troublemaker), love, death + robots (meh. technically very good but the stories are underwhelming) and what we do in the shadows (just one season in but i'm having a great time)

games: i bought a bunch of stuff taking advantage of the winter sales on steam! townscaper is the cutest shit. im still not touching dishonored, and wasted a lot of time on overwatch 2 once again. ramrattra is still so far away T_T

reading: finished raven boys but got stuck on dream thieves - which is outrageous, it's the ronan book! i should be dying to read this! but i've struggled with Just Words. can't say the same with comics -- i re-discovered some old BL titles ive been reading on lezhin, some trashier than others lmao. my 2023 is looking fun.

WRITING oh what a good joke. of course i didn't write anything. i wanted to join the smubbles event on discord but i spent the month gathering up plots from various corners of my digital life. i decided it counts as writing. i hope 2023 brings more. oh i also made the writing review for the past year... it was bad but not that bad. silver linings.

ART+CRAFT i finished the goddang poofy shirt! and i did cosplay for the first time in forever! it was just a closet cosplay of harrowhark nonagesimus, little more than facepaint and dark clothes, but it was so fucking fun. i went completely insane and i decided to do more - so now im planning to make kim kitsuragi's jacket. i oredered fabric samples and everything. we'll see how it develops. i also printed out a shirt pattern to use up the left over linen, but i had to put that to a pause bc my friend asked an apron for xmas so i spent three-four days making that. i spent two full days hand sewing and watching tv shows. it was satisfying to draft a thing from the ground up and my friend was happy with it. it feels like a good omen.

deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

FANDOM

serials: i watched a little more of gentleman jack, but this month i mostly rediscovered anime. my brain was too dead to watch 60 minutes long episodes but it was fresh enough to read subtitles, i guess!

  • boku no hero academia s5-s6: its been years since i watched the first seasons of bnha and i forgot how much of a good time it is. i love these goddamn kids and the adult characters are compelling too. special mention to the movies futari no hero - a lot of all might goodness - and world heroes' mission - these kids were put through the grinder, man, and the new character is adorable.
  • blue lock: i keep saying that i don't love spokons and i don't like soccer, but people are watching this and i was curious. it's strangely compelling. the premise isn't the usual stuff. i'm curious to see where it's going.
  • chainsaw man: about the anime, studio mappa is always insane and on the flex and we love them for it. the storytelling is tight and the story is fresh. im trying to be normal about it bc when i'll talk about the manga i won't.

games: it was finally time to say goodbye to hades, i played it as much as i could until it turned unfun. i managed to reunite achilles and patroclus so im satisfied. i finally started playing dishonored and as much as im finding the general mood interesting and engaging, i suck so hard at this, you guys. im currently on like, six hours of gameplay and i haven't managed to clear the first mission past the intro. it's bad. shout out to overwatch 2 who is back to owning my ass. i cannot lie, i missed these guys. im not honestly finding much of a difference with the old one, beside the 5-people team and the fact that the battlepass is meh. looking forward to the new character, ramratta. i still love omnics so much.

reading: i only read two books this months, but they were very nice in different ways. pyre at the eyreholme trust is a novella about magic and alternate roaring twenties, with a male on genderfluid romance. dirk gently's holistic detective agency was a struggle for the first half, but by the end i was reminded of what i really loved about the show so im glad. special mention to the webcomic cosmoknights, that was described to me like "same assignment as the locked tomb but different execution" and well, they're not entirely wrong: fighting the system, swords, lesbians. a rude butch with a golden heart. it tracks. and now, for the manga parenthesis.

  • boku no hero academia 231-374: holy fucking shit? i got distracted a hot minute there and everything has been happening while i wasn't looking. we're currently in the middle of the final battle and im distraught about a million things--and i must say that following the anime even knowing what its going to happen is a million times worse to see it in motion.
  • chainsaw man 001-112: mask off. i won't ever be normal about this. i don't want to spoiler anything but also what the fuck. what the fuck. it's one of the cruelest, rawest things i've ever read, but the continuous, shocking tone shifts also make it one of the stupidest, most ridiculous things i've ever seen.

WRITING

i haven't written much this month, only a couple thousand words of rewriting for the fisting fun with eskel thing i've been dragging around for a couple years now -- but i am starting poking around at my viper witcher oc's backstory. and i've written two book reviews and for the first time im managing to consistently journal every single day. i never really counted it as writing but i should. somehow.

ART+CRAFT finally finished the poofy shirt project! it took me months but it's finally done. i was much quicker than i thought, in the past week. goes to show that if i put my mind to it and stop panicking i can make stuff... a big help was discovering that i can sew after the sun goes down with a good enough lamp. it sounds stupid but my little brain was blown away. im going to have to think about stuff for the next month... and year. i have plans for a capsule wardrobe and maybe even cosplay?

deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

FANDOM
  • i finally finished my re-read of the locked tomb! i took a bunch of notes about stuff that i want to rotate my brain before next year, before alecto comes out, and i have more questions than ever haha. i finally read the captive prince trilogy, after hearing so much about it, but i can't say i was very much impressed with it. i loved a few scenes but for the most part it wasn't much my thing. i started reading a new trilogy about lesbians called when women were warriors that i was recced by a friend-- i didn't think i was going to like it, because it's in first person and it's not much my genre, but i'm having a great time with it. there's something extremely comforting about the style of narration, and im growing attached to the characters. i only need to finish the third book-- i'll write an update next month.
  • didn't watch any movie at all beside rewatching the intern with my dad, lmao. it's always a good one, i love anne hathaway.
  • i also didn't watch serials. i started gentleman jack s2 but to be honest i don't care much about the actual plot. i live for anne's looks into the camera though...
  • this month i played a lot of games! a blast from the past with overwatch 2: the gameplay is more or less the same as the old one, and it's still pretty fun, but i ended up uninstalling it almost right away. i might re-install it next month bc i have friends who want to play together, though. also, i played ac: revelations: i'm gonna miss ezio a lot, i had loads of fun. i struggled a bit with getting used to Costantinople, but i ended up growing attached to the assassins recruited in the city. i was discouraged to play ac3 so i will see desmond's demise on youtube. next was hades: i never finished the main story, so i did that--and then i started with the sidequests. i finally managed to win thanatos' heart haha. i should've started dishonored but it annoyed me leaving the other game unfinished. i also rediscovered roleplay games: online, i got back to fallen london, with my old account and with a brand new one; offline, i started exploring the world of solo-rpgs, starting with in pitch we're preserved, a game about surviving after a weird apocalypse made of tar. it was a weird experience, i feel like it taught me something about religion and magical thinking and my relationship with material objects. i enjoyed it a lot.

ART+CRAFT
  • manage to put together the poofy shirt! but it's not done yet, i need to backstitch all the seams, and then finish them, and then do the buttons... i hoped to finish by the end of the month but i spent most of my afternoons sleeping.
  • i didn't do much drawing, but for the first time in forever i did my nails! i made one mani inspired by the sixth house and one more generally inspired to the whole trilogy. i had to cut my nails at some point, but i definitely reached a record in lenght haha.

deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

FANDOM

introduction to t. kingfisher with the clocktaur war trilogy: i enjoyed it a lot and i had a very good time. then it was nona the ninth day! as usual, muir sent us for a loop. ive also re-read gideon the ninth and now im re-reading harrow the ninth, looking for clues… im a little behind with the goodreads challenge but i decided the rereads count!

finished playing assassin’s creed brotherhood: the latest ezio sequences were a bit boring, i didn’t appreciate the apple of eden as a weapon. i really enjoyed the parts with desmond though. i ended up growing really attached to him, for some reason. im aware that he’s not present in the other games (and i can guess why :C) and i was warned against AC3 so mh, we’ll see. for now im going to focus on revelations

writing/art+craft i wrote a grand total of like, 80 words. the first paragraph of a thing. and that's it. that's the show.

deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

beware of spoilers

FANDOM
  • the new season of helluvaboss is here! excited about the angst, absolutely heartbroken about the childhood trauma. can't wait to see what's next. the boys s3 was the usual mindbending good time, even if i didn't appreciate how much gorier it was in comparison to the other seasons. heartstopper was cute but it didn't quite hit the spot. i find i struggle with highschool romances lately. i need to chew harder stuff. but please let me tell you how much i fucking loved dirk gently's holistic detective agency! ive getting into puzzle-like media lately and i've missed putting together the pieces so much. i really had an amazing time and the characters are all the best.
  • i finally started playing assassin's creed: brotherhood; i think it's the first time i play games where i get to play the same character twice in a row and i was so happy to see ezio again. poor guy, he was so happy to back home and then things went to shit so quickly again lmao. anyway, i'm struggling a little with the storyline but now i got to leonardo again so everything is better haha. friend got me a controller: i'm curious to see if im going to have an easier time with it.
  • i read so much this month: i read basically anything by becky chambers i could put my hands on. it's a kind of slice-of-life sci fi that i really appreciate. i really like her writing and the themes she treats in her books. i finally cut my teeth on the locked tomb and now i'm waiting for nona the ninth like everyone else. i knew i was going to like it, which is why i waited so long to read it, but im glad i waited for the right moment. im now full heartedly obsessed with it and gleefully free to do it.

WRITING it's done! the fic it's done! it's online! it's complete!
  • what my heart just yearns to say in ways that can't be said
  • ...and now im stuck. hopefully i'll manage to unstick myself during the next month

    ART+CRAFT i haven't quite finished my poofy shirt yet, but i've made a post about my progress so far on pillowfort. i think im going to keep using it as a way to document it. also, i finished the 10 flowers project. i'm going to do birds starting from next week,,, it's going to be hard, i'm afraid

    deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)
    beware of spoilers (umbrella academy)

    FANDOM
  • finished chewing on community. the last seasons were less strong than the beginning but i didn't mind them, even if really wasn't the same thing after troy left. umbrella academy s3 was a good time: the footlose dancing scene was the best thing ever, i enjoyed all the gender affirming bits for viktor (even if i'll never stop laughing about the fact that he didn't need to change name... his previous name was literally a russian nickname for ivan. it was already masculine! but anyway) and five as usual is an entire mood. i don't like whatever the fuck is going down with allison, she might have her reasons or whatever but it's just annoying. klaus' storyline with dear old fucking dad was darkly hilarious and im here for it. dad!diego got me good, im not gonna lie, so i was disappointed when it turned out that there was no kid after all, except the unborn one. that's too far down the line! i don't care enough about his relationship with lila. fei's aesthetic was immaculate even if my lamp had more personality, rest in power.
  • i was itching for more danny pudi so i finally started watching ducktales. i always read the ducks' stories in italian so im learning a lot of new names haha. i missed them; i always preferred donald duck over mickey mouse, when i read them as a kid (i never watched the original ducktales, it was comics only for me. grandma bought the weekly volumes for me every week... simpler times :'))
  • im still behind with my goodreads challenge but im catching up! i absolutely loved the long way to a small angry planet, and i absolutely need to get the sequels. it made my little xenofucker (and my robofucker) heart sing. the bear and the nightingale, our next pick for the bookclub, gave me a lot of feels: it's been a while since i read something that was set in the russia of folktales and i missed it quite a lot. and now, for something completely different: i put moscow noir on my trl bc i felt like it could've been a good example of what i wanted to do with an original novel i was working on. years later, im happy to say that i was fucking right. i don't read a lot of noir, despite wanting to write one, and i forgot how good and bad it feels to sink in that kind of darkness. i haven't finished it yet, but the short stories so far are very good (even if i could have done without the casual transphobia)
  • i finally finished assassin's creed II. i didn't expect to end it with a fistfight with the pope but i can't say i was disappointed. it was quite satisfying. i'm glad that there's still two more games with ezio bc i grew really attached to him.
  • Writing writing keeps being the bane of my fucking existence, for the n month in a row but! beyond every expectation!
    • ... i managed to finally unstick the damn commission. i finally managed to write the bit that i couldn't write. and now im just missing a couple more scenes and i can send the draft to beta.
    • i want to write my own shit. there's this little thing ive been writing for years now that routinely got stuck at random points... but between a few conversations with the witcher discord friends and moscow noir and a little heaviness of mind, i find myself missing my stupid little blorbo. who knows.

    art+craft
    • thesunday flower sketch project keeps going strong: i liked how the poppies turned out, while the other three flowers are a bit disappointing, but the most important thing here is that im keeping going. slowly and surely. i hoped to do a little landscape painting or even gestures, but with my brain in the garbage it's a miracle i managed this at all so. no complaints.
    • i made good progress on the poet shirt! i joined the back and front pieces, i attached the collar and i sewed the gussets to the sleeves. i still have to gather the sleeves at the wrists and at the shoulders, attach the wristcuffs, attach the sleeves to the body, join the sides, do the hems, and do something about the buttons. It's... a bit. But it's not too much! I'm very hopeful to finish it by the end of the next month and to start on something else, too.

    deerna: beheaded human; the cut is clean and stylized (Default)

    warning: might contain spoilers (namely: stranger things)

    FANDOM
    • finally watched venom 2! it was a lot of fun. i usually watch movies in their original audio, but this time the italian dub did an amazing work on the delivery of a certain line lmao. i also watched red notice one night when i was bored, and i didn't dislike it (i liked the twist at the end) but i feel like action movies lately have issues with the pacing of the action sequences. they're too long! the chase and the fight are supposed to give you adrenaline, not "ugh okay tell me when it's over" vibes!
    • i've been chewing through the first few seasons of community and im really liking it. a bit relieved i didn't watch it too soon bc i would've absorbed abed's personality wholesale and that would've been an issue. i also watched stranger things vol.2 and well. im gonna have to watch s5 just to be properly disappointed about will's storyline, i guess. im a bit shocked with their decisions for eddie's storyline and it just cemented my suspicions about him being another flavor of billy. questionable choices! i genuinely don't care enough about the rest to be disappointed about it haha but will. dammit.
    • im really behind with my goodreads challenge. we finished the simon snow trilogy with anyway the wind blows; my fave book is still the second installment, but it was a good ending and a satisfying read. next for the book club was small gods: i struggled a bit with tpratchett's writing this time for whatever reason, but the book itself was really good and full of little smart things that i enjoyed. a masterclass in reflections about heavy topic but done with good faith and in an entertaining way.
    • i finally played disco elysium and well. im heavily compromised. i expected to enjoy it but i didn't expect to find it so interesting! and i absolute would kill and die for kim kitsuragi (like most of the fandom anyway, i know im not special)(im not quite thinking about writing fic for it but, i have a few ideas...)

    WRITING the less is said the better. it was a complete failure. i did a little progress but not enough.

    ART+CRAFT im keeping up with my sunday flower sketches; im quite happy with how they're turning out but i wish i had more energy to dedicate to drawing... on the other hand, i finally finished the damn blanket!! i finally started officially on the next project, cutting the linen for the shirt. i hope to getting it done in july. i had quite a push to plan more things to sew...

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